Roses
by LeftyHiggins
Summary: Very, very long. A story about the lives and relationships of two girls, both very different. Race and Spot are the featured newsies. Please read and review. :
1. Chapter I

_They came from as different backgrounds as possible. One, a rich and famous mother, an unknown father, the other, abusive, unmarried parents. One, raised to be glamorous and seductive, the other, to lie, cheat, and steal as long as it resulted in a bed to sleep in. One, a beautiful, flashy, sexy, sparkling diamond, the other, a pickpocket and a dirty street rogue. Both where tougher than they looked. Both knew tragedy and loss. Both knew love. This is their story. _

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_The sun came up over New York City. It lit up the streets, the tall buildings, stuck to each other's sides. On Duane Street the long stream of buildings where reflecting the light. The light, early morning breeze swept up the dirt street. No one was on that road. Everything was quiet, except for the muffled sound of working machinery and young male voices. One building was labelled "The Boys Lodging House". Across the street from it was an almost identical building, brick, many tall windows, beat up front steps and a lamppost. The sign on this building read "The Girls Lodging House". If you walked through the faded, red front door, you would find a neat common room. A few odd pieces of furniture, burnt out candles, miscellaneous pieces of clothing here and there. There was a desk with an open book and ink pen lying on it. If you went up the worn stairs you would find a long hallway with several doors, most spare room that were used for various acts of pleasure. One door, a faded white one, was open. And if you went through this door you would find a large room with windows lining the right side, facing the street, allowing the light to pour in. The room was filled with old metal bunk beds, and each bunk contained at least one girl. They came as young as four and as old as seventeen. All of them had pretty much the same story: Orphans, runaways, coming from filthy slums with abusive parents. The lived as pickpockets for a little bit, the young ones anyways, until one of the other girls finds them on the street and brings them in. All of the girls were asleep, except for one. She was tall and broad shoulders, with long brown hair that she braided and wound up into a bun on the top of her head. Her eyes were hazel, and her cheeks rosy. She stood in the empty washroom in the bunk room, drying her hands on a towel that lay near by. She wore a light-weight pale blue skirt and a faded short sleeved cream coloured shirt, which she tucked into the skirt. She took a long, dark red scarf and tied it around her waist, trying to make it smaller. She didn't wear any make-up; it would come off anyways in the heat of the day if she did. She fastened her old worn black boots on her feet and stepped back to look at herself in the mirror. A poor girl, obviously, but not starving. She was healthy and happy, with a good amount of life in her. She nodded and her reflection and smiled a bit, turned around, took a deep breath, and hollered: _

"_Okay goils, up up NOW!!! C'mon, we've gots woik ta do!!" she walked out of the washroom and up and down the long aisles of bunks, slapping the faces of the drowsy girls, pulling pillows out from under their heads, whipping off their sheets. She continued to yell at them, ushering them out of bed and into the washroom, until almost ever girl was out of bed, and everyone was talking, bustling around, looking for missing shoes and fighting over hair ribbons. Every bunk was now left empty except for two in the far right hand side of the room in the back. Three of these four beds contained the oldest girls in the boarding house, all of which were still fast asleep. On the top of one bunk a girl with long curly hair slept, under her was an unmade bed that belonged to the girl who got up first. Across from her on the other top bunk there was a girl with long, dark, straight hair, snoozing with one arm hanging over the side of the bed, and an off white cream smeared over her face. Below her, on the bottom bunk another girl dozed, with long, smooth auburn hair swept back off her face. After the oldest girl had made sure that the other girls were well on their way out she walked over to the far corner, a sly smile on her face. She sauntered over to the windows, which had been sloppily covered with a sheet the night before, and pulled it off, letting the sunlight stream in on the three girls' faces. The auburn- haired girl twitched and the curly top rolled over. The tall girl walked over to the top bunk in which lay the girl with dark hair, grabbed her sheets, and violently pulled them off. _

"_A'right Asia, you're beauty rest is ovah, get up an wash dat crap off ya face" _

"_Goddammit Taylor, why don't you go--" the auburn-haired girl began, eyes still closed. Taylor cut in._

"_Shut up Lefty, ya still in trouble for what I saw las night." _

"_Whatta yous-"_

"_Necking wid dat Italian from across da street, ya don't tink I saw-" _

"_Dats nun a your bizness Taylor, an I don't see you tryin ta keep ya hands off Kelly"_

"_Ah Lefty, you're jus upset cuz ya boyfriends da size of a-" _

"_Fuck off Asia, I ain't seein any action from you an Kid, an take dat shit off ya face, it ain't gonna solve your attitude problem" _

"_Shudup Lefty, ya jus jealous cuz I didn't give you any-"_

"_Oh, like I need-" _

"_All a ya should shut up ya know dat, ya givin me a headache, an it's too early." The curly haired girl had jumped down from her bunk, pushing apart Lefty and Asia, who where both out of bed, facing each other menacingly. Lefty rolled her eyes and pulled a towel off the top bunk, threw it over her shoulder, and disappeared into the washroom. _

"_Bitch" Asia muttered under her breath, "C'mon Ringlets, you need to wash your hair. It's frizzing" Ringlets clamped her hands to her head and squealed before she and Asia rushed off to the washroom. Taylor, being the only one left in the bunk room, rolled her eyes and reached into the chest of drawers between the two bunks, pulling out clothes for each of them, knowing that if she didn't they'd fight over the tight white that made their chests look bigger, and she had already hid it under her bed so she could wear it that night on her date with the Manhattan leader. _

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_The sun was up high now, it was close to eleven o'clock, but now it was shining through a different window, in a completely different part of the city. This part did not have dirt streets and run down factories, but cobblestones and neat buildings painted in rich colours or lined evenly with bricks. This window was in one of those building, an unlabeled building, but a very popular one. This window had a small balcony in front of it, and it was decorated with delicate glass patterns. The window was very large, with two ivory handles that opened it. The room that the sun poured into through this window was as different to the bunkhouse as it could be. It was probably just as large, but only one person slept in it. The floor was carpeted with a soft dark blue colour, with specks of gold mixed in. The curtains that were draped on the tops and sides of the windows were the same dark blue, pulled back with gold tassels. There was a large wardrobe, one door open, a skimpy black dress hanging on it. If you looked a little further through the door you would see many similar garments hung up, most with lace-up backs and covered in glitter. Below them, in the lower part of the wardrobe were drawers full of lacy lingerie, on top of these drawers were at least twenty pairs of high-heeled shoes. In addition to the wardrobe there were multiple dressers and bureaus, all made of the same dark, mahogany wood. No drawers were open, but the tops of those pieces of furniture were covered with lace and fine lamps and small jewellery boxes. There was also an enormous vanity, above which was a large mirror, engraved with flowering design, and the chair in front of it was similarly decorated. The top of the vanity was organized by sections of beauty products; brushes for hair and make-up, blush, eyeshadows, eyeliners, lipsticks, lipliners, powers and foundation, perfumes and hair clips and ribbons of every colour and shape. There was a large jewellery box, open, near the perfumes. Many little drawers emerged from it, each displaying earrings, charms, pins, and rings. The top of the box flaunted necklaces of all sorts, from simple gold chains to mammoth pearls and opal pendants. On the other side of the room there was a bed. It was an immense, four poster bed, with heavy blue curtains drawn all around, delicately designed with gold. It was imported from Paris, as were many of the perfumes on the vanity. Inside the heavy curtains there were dark blue sheets and a silk comforter that was rolled up on the end of the bed because it was summertime. The sheets were dark and rich, and all wrapped up in them, sleeping, was a girl. She was quite short for her age, which was around fifteen. She had creamy, milk- white skin, which set her apart from the various shades of brown most of the people in the city had. She had long red hair, which trailed down her back. It was naturally wavy but had been curled into tight spirals and braided for the night. She slept peacefully with her head resting on one of the many pillows arraigned at the top of her bed. The sheets had been pulled up to her waist, and you could see the top of her nightdress. It was tight, designed like a corset with straps over the shoulders, and fringed with a light green lace. It was summer and hot, so her arms were bare, but then again, they were even in the winter. The curtains around her bed were drawn completely expect for the bit that was facing the large window. The sun streamed through that little opening and fell on the girl's face. Her eyes fluttered and she twitched a bit, feeling that bit of heat and waking up. Her eyes opened, revealing two bright green orbs that sparkled slightly. She groaned softly and rubbed her right eye with her palm. A clock chimed from somewhere in the hallway, and she sat up. She blinked a few times and gently pulled the lace ribbon that held her braid together. Her spirals popped out and she shook her head back. She re-braided her hair and tied it back, before pulling the gold cord that opened the curtains around her bed. She pushed her sheets back and swung her legs over the side of the bed, sliding her small feet into two soft slippers and stood up. She stretched a bit, before walking over to her wardrobe. Hanging on one of the doors was a light green satin robe, which she pulled down and put on. It was lined with a dark green shade on the cuffs and around the neck, and had an oriental design on it. She tied it on and looked at the small table that was at the foot of her bed. On it was a tea tray, containing a small pot of tea and a cup and saucer, and also a few scones. A maid had brought it up earlier, before the girl had awoken. She took a scone and pocketed it, before opening her bedroom door and stepping outside into the hall. The hallway had many doors, all wooden like hers, brass numbers nailed to them. The floor was carpeted with a long oriental carpet, and a large clock hung on the wall opposite of her. She looked at the time. 11:23. She muttered a curse under her breath. She should have been up an hour ago. She shook her head back and headed down the hallway, towards the grand staircase. She lazily walked down the red carpeted steps, coming to the bottom floor of the building. To her left was the door that opened to the backstage area, across from her was a large room, full of empty tables and chairs, and a closed bar. The large windows in that room were closed, thick curtains drawn over them. The girl did not go into that room; instead she walked down a narrow hallway to her right, not carpeted and far less rich than the rest of the halls in the building. She walked down until she came to the end of the hall, where there was a single door at her left. She twisted the small brass knob, and walked into the room. It was a kitchen, not a very clean one, with a black stove and many wooden shelves full of jars and simple food. There was a worn wooden table in the middle of the room, around which sat three girls. They all turned their heads when they heard the door open. _

"_Well," one of them said, a piece of bread in her hand, "look who decided to grace us with her presence" she had dark skin and hair, wore a red dressing robe and a smirk on her face. _

"_Shut up Aly, it's not like you've never overslept before," The girl replied, yawning. One of the girls got up from the table. She had long, curly, dark brown hair that was twisted up in a bun, and wore a dark blue silk robe. She smiled sweetly and put a coffee cup in the girl's hand. _

"_I put something special in it to wake you up Anya" she told the girl, winking. Anya snickered under her breath. _

"_Thanks Desiree," she said, walking over to the rough table and lowering herself into a chair next to Aly. She took a sip of the hot drink and felt something strong tango its way down her throat. She swallowed and sighed, suddenly feeling much more alert. She tried to yawn again but found herself choking, and looked up to find smoke being blown into her eyes. She coughed and waved it away. _

"_Jesus Christ Julienne, cut the shit, I've gotta protect my vocal cords, what do you think your-" but her sentence was cut off by another gale of smoke clouding up her eyes and making her cough again. She swore and rubbed her eyes, blinking, and staring angrily across the table at the small girl who sat perched on her chair above her. She, unlike the three other girls, was not wearing a silk, imported bathrobe, or had her hair in curlers or tied up with lace. Instead, she looked like she had been awake for several hours, perhaps partaking in events that required smudging your face with soot and using shoelaces to tie back your hair. Anya rolled her eyes at Julienne, and took another sip of her drink, peering at her over the rip of the cup. Julienne was tough and street wise, her skin browned from being out on the streets of the city. She wore faded blue, patched pants, and a loose button-up shirt. A cabbie cap kept most of her hair up, and the pieces that hung down were matted with dirt. Her eyes were piercing and cold, or at least they had always been towards Anya and the other girls. Julienne frowned and stuck the cigarette back in her mouth, hopped down off the chair, and walked out the door. None of the girls made an attempt to follow her; Anya and Aly went back to their coffee and rolled their eyes, while Desiree looked slightly concerned, but saw that her the other two weren't, and took a sip of coffee. The three of them discussed various events that had happened the night before, who was going to be the lead singer in the evening's performance, and who was going to teach the new girl how to put on eyeliner. Their conversation had turned to when the new garders from Italy would arrive, when the door opened. Three heads turned to see a tall man standing in the doorway, grinning at them. He had a long face that was clean shaven, leering grey eyes, and a thin nose. His dark hair was greased back, and when he smiled he revealed a gold tooth. He wore rather tight, pinstriped pants and an expensive looking shirt of red, and had left most of the buttons undone. He wore tall leather boots and a large gold ring on one of his little fingers. _

"_Morning ladies," he said casually. _

"_All right Ray?" Aly responded easily, pouring gin into her coffee. He snickered and sauntered into the room. _

"_As right as I ever shall be" he said, looking down on his three favourite girls. He grabbed the bottle of gin from Aly and took a swig. Anya and Desiree went back to their discussion. Ray cleared his throat. _

"_I got sometin for ya" he said under his breath. The girl's didn't respond. Ray laughed shortly. Anya rolled her eyes again. The three of them played this game with Ray every morning. He wanted the cash the girls had made the night before, and they never gave it to him easily. It was a test of their wills, seeing how long he could bribe them before they gave in. It built character and gave them practice for dealing with other financial matters that came their way. Ray made them guess what he had for them, described in as much detail as possible without letting them know what it was. The girls would act disinterested, but eventually Desiree would give in and the other two would follow. Today was no different. _

"_A boy brought it to da back door earlier dis mornin, says he picked it up at da docks, said it came of a foreign boat, any idea where da boat was from?" he teased them. The girls shrugged and went on eating. Ray was impatient. He wanted to drink, he had bills to pay, things to buy, and he wanted to know how well the girls were doing. The girls knew that was what he wanted to know. The more money they gave him, the more proof that they were good whores, the best of all the girls in the business. The better they were the more Parisian dresses they got, room service, the top bedrooms in the building; a chance that Ray might mention one of their names to his friends down at the local pub, his friends with connections. That's what they wanted. That's what they dreamed of. Fame, fortune, the whole shebang. And it all came down to the money. After all, that's what makes the world go 'round, Ray had told them many years ago. Money, alcohol, and sex. After a few more minutes of playing Ray pulled out a box from behind his back. It was wrapped up in a silk ribbon and paper decorated with roses. It had an international stamp on it. "Florence to New York". Desiree's eyes grew wide. Ray set it on the table in front of her. She looked up at the other two girls, eyes pleading. Aly stood her ground, still sipping coffee, but Anya rolled her eyes. She reached into her robe and down the front of her nightdress, pulling out a whad of bills held together with a hair pin. She put it between two of her fingers and held it out for Ray. Desiree immediately pulled her earnings out of her hair, and Aly sighed and pulled hers out of the sash on her robe. Ray snatched the money out of the girls' hands and tucked it away inside his shirt. _

"_Pleasure doing business with you ladies" he said, giving a short, mock bow, and heading towards the doorway. _

"_Backstage at seven, Hart leads, no excuses" he called. The girls nodded, and Ray shut the door behind him. Desiree quickly pounced on the package, tearing open the paper and pulling out the lacy lingerie inside. She began to pick out high quality stockings and garders, chokers and thongs. Eventually Aly grabbed the box out of her hands and all three girls spent the remainder of the morning fighting over the accessories, before the middle of the afternoon came and a maid came in with a small amount of food for them, after which they went upstairs to their bedrooms and slept the rest of the day away, needing the rest to prepare them for the nights events. _

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_It was probably one of the busiest restaurants in the whole city. It was open from five in the morning to midnight, seven days a week, year-round, even on Christmas. It was your standard restaurant; booths, tables and chairs, a bar, hard wood floor, fading wallpaper, bell on the door, serves coffee all day, if ya put in a little extra for us we'll put in a little extra for you kinda place. It attracted every restaurant's obvious customers: tourists, businessmen, maybe a family once in a while. But the restaurant really belonged to a group of people who came there for only a few reasons: it was nearby to where they lived, it was cheap, and it was theirs. The Manhattan newsies had territory from their side of the bridge to the Statue, and Tibby's was almost smack-dab in the middle of it. Every waiter that worked there knew each one of them by name, and gave them deals on food, drinks, and even lodging, if you were really in trouble. There wasn't a newsie in Manhattan that didn't make a stop into Tibby's at least once a day. The restaurant was theirs._

_So, at around noon-time on that hot, summer day, as usual, the place was packed. Hardly a seat was empty, and everyone was eating and talking, sharing the morning's news, discussing the evening's event. There was one large table in the left side of the restaurant, a very large table with many chairs drawn up to it, even though part of it was a booth. Every chair was full; this was the most popular table, and for good reason: this was where Jack Kelly, the Manhattan newsies leader, ate everyday. To sit at this famed table you had to be one of his friends, a girlfriend of one of his friends, or be paying for everyone's meal. And that day was no different from the others. Jack Kelly sat in the middle of a large group of his friends, discussing a variety of different topics. To his right sat a blonde boy with an eye-patch, Kid-Blink Parker, talking to him about the Bronx leaders. Next to Blink Asia sat, dressed in her usual trademark, low-cut red dress, hands all over her newest victim, a boy from Midtown. Blink did not seem to be enjoying this at all. To Jack's left was a sweet-looking boy with curly brown hair, Mush Meyers, talking to and holding hands with Ringlets. Next to her was Lefty, talking to a small, younger boy called Snipeshooter. And next to Snipes was a young black boy named Boots, and next to him was at least ten of Manhattan's best newsies and a few more girls, all chatting away, kissing each other every once in a while, ordering more food and making plans, enjoying themselves. Taylor sat at another table with some of the younger newsgirls, making sure they didn't kill each other and ate enough, giving them selling tips and such but every once in a while, from across the room Jack would catch her eye, and she'd smile and blush. By the end of the lunch hour she'd be sitting next to him, flirting and making plans of her own. Half-way through lunch the door opened and three boys walked in. The two in back were tall and muscular, boy-friends of some newsgirls in the back of the restaurant, who they marched off to greet. The boy in front however, was quite different. He was short, perhaps the shortest of the older Manhattan newsies. He was very thin, and his clothes hung on him loosely, not stretched across his chest like the two that had been behind him. His skin was lightly browned from the sun, and his greased brown hair and deep brown eyes indicated that he was some part Italian. He wore a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up, blue suspenders and blue plaid pants. His dark blue cabby hat was jauntily placed at an angle on his head, and he grinned, revealing a row of rather crooked teeth behind his thin lips. _

"_Heya Race!" came a shout from a table to his left. Jack Kelly was waving him over, and Race, short for Racetrack, Racetrack Higgins, sauntered over. At the sound of his name Lefty, in mid-sentence with Snipes, stopped talking abruptly and turned her head towards him, smiling. Race walked over, spit-shaking with Blink, Mush and Jack, before turning his attention on Snipes._

"_Beat it kid" he commanded, smirking. Lefty made no objection as the young boy groaned and got up, walking off. Race cleared his throat and put out his hand. Snipes stopped and turned around, groaning again. Race raised his eyebrows expectedly. Snipes rolled his eyes and reached into his vest, pulling out three cigars and putting them in Race's outstretched hand. Race nodded and Snipes went to another table. Race tucked the cigars safely into his vest, before sitting down next to Lefty. _

"_Heya doll" he said before kissing her gently. _

"_How ya doin Race?" she asked after she pulled away. _

"_Alright kid, and yaself?" he returned, putting an arm around her shoulders lazily. _

"_Good enough" she replied, kissing his cheek. _

"_Ya look pretty today" he told her, playing with her hair. Lefty smiled and shook her head, but his usual complement was true. Lefty was beautiful. She had been ever since she was six years old and had been discovered sleeping under a park bench one winter morning. She was a lovely little girl, and had grown to become a beautiful young woman. She was rather short, quite short in fact, only slightly gracing five feet at the very most, a good three inches shorter than Race. She was thin, even though she ate a substantial amount, Taylor made sure she did, she had always been the slimmest of the older newsgirls. Her skin was tan from being out in the sun so often, and like all the other newsies, her hands were stained with black ink that would never come off, no matter how hard she tried. Her hair was long, as were all the girls' hair, flowing smoothly down her back in a rich auburn colour. Her face was smooth, free of blemishes, even though she didn't plaster her face with cream like Asia did before she when to bed. A few light freckles dotted her nose and cheeks, and her lips were always a natural, sweet colour; she never wore make-up. But it was her eyes that made her beautiful, that made everyone want her but nobody daring enough to try to win her over. Her eyes were like ice; a clear, piercing blue that sparkled when she was happy and turned deadly and cold when she wasn't. Her eyes didn't miss anything, and if she made eye-contact with you from across the room you'd feel a shiver creep down your spine. Lefty beautiful and rare, natural and sweet, and a source of envy for the other girls; especially Asia. _

_The other three of the oldest newsgirls, compared to Lefty, were no-where near as instantly captivating, but they were all very pretty girls, and had complements and catcalls thrown at them at a daily. Asia was the wild one, usually donning in racy red dresses that were one button away belonging to a hooker. Taylor disapproved of her clothing; she liked her girls to be modest, but everyone knew Asia could watch out for herself, and she was the first to jump out of a relationship that seemed to be going too far. She was very tall, only a small amount shorter than Taylor, and very shapely. Her hair fell to her shoulders, short compared to all the other girls' locks, but very flattering to her face. Her hair was a dark brown shade, and since she usually slept with curlers in her hair it was wavy. Her skin was dark, in fact her entire presence seemed to be dark and mysterious, hence her nickname. Her eyes were a very dark brown shade, that usual glittered with seduction and mischief. Asia always wore a great deal of make-up, which provoked a whore-like image, but made her look very tempting and striking. She had an attitude; there was no doubt that Asia was the newsgirl you didn't want to cross. She was a flirt, a guy magnet, and could have had any guy from Manhattan to Queens if it pleased her. And it did. _

_Ringlets, on the other hand, was as different in looks and personality from Asia as possible, and still managed to be her best friend. Ringlets was always so sweet and gentle that it was almost hard to believe she was a newsgirl. While Lefty lied and Asia flirted to sell a headline, Ringlets took a different approach. In the morning, she could nearly always be found standing in some rich neighbourhood, one of her nicest dresses fitted modestly about her, asking very politely, with no hint of an accent in her voice, "Would you like to buy the morning paper miss?" her method was different, honest, mostly, but she was usually the only one who sold out all her papers every morning. Ringlets was very pretty, slightly shorter than Asia, but much taller than Lefty. Her figure was slightly curvy, but modest, and her face was round and usually smiling. Her eyes were a dark blue colour, always sparkling slightly, but her trademark was her hair. When she let it down it almost reached her knees; for Taylor never cut it. It cascaded down her back in bouncing curls, delicately spiralling around her face. Her hair was a rich, dark brown shade, which Taylor braided every night to keep it from frizzing. Ringlets was the kindest out of her friends, she was genuine and loyal, happy and nearly always smiling. Lefty was always slightly annoyed by her constant cheerfulness; it contrasted with her clever sarcasm, but Asia loved her like a sister, because in some way she gave her confidence. _

_Taylor was the last and the oldest of all the newsgirls and she ran the Lodging House. She was tall, broad and strong, strict about her girl's and there behaviour, especially when it came to the opposite sex, but warm and understanding and always willing to talk to anyone of them, no matter when. Everyone in the city knew and respected Taylor, not only because she was the on-and-off girlfriend of one of the area's most famous and loved newsie leader, but because she was charming and sweet, brave and intelligent. Taylor had brought in so many girls from the streets and raised them as if they were her own daughters, even though she was only seventeen. Everyone, even Asia, who had stopped listening to Taylor's reprimanding and demands along time ago, looked onto her as a sister, and new she would always be there for them. _

_An hour later into lunch, the restaurant was beginning to empty as the newsies left to take part in their separate afternoon activities; mainly to sell the afternoon edition of the World. After ushering a large group of the younger girls out the door, Taylor smoothed her hair and walked over to the table where Jack, Blink, Mush, Race, Asia, Lefty, and Ringlets still sat, talking. _

"_Sorry ta break up da party, but da goils gotta go sell, an I believe so do you guys" she announced, taking a cigarette out of Asia's mouth and giving her a look. Asia rolled her eyes and lazily pulled herself up, making sure her dress was as low-cut as possible before she stalked out of the room. _

"_See ya tonight doll," Race said to Lefty, smirking, and leaning in for one more kiss. Taylor cleared her throat and pulled Lefty up by her arm before he got too far, saying, "C'mon Lefty, Race has gotta go down to da tracks an loose everyting he made dis morning" Race glared at her and lit up his cigar as Lefty pulled on Ringlets's hair a bit, and the two of them walked out the door. Now deprived of their girls, Mush and Race stood up and tipped their hats to Taylor, and left, followed by a glum-looking Blink. Now only the two leaders remained, and anyone who might have been looking through the window would have seen Taylor slide into the seat next to Jack, and discover that neither of them would be selling that afternoon. _


	2. Chapter II

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_Anya sat at the chair in front of her vanity, filing her nails. It was around six-thirty in the evening, and her window was open, letting the late summer breeze blow in softly, and the early evening sun shine in. She sat, staring at her reflection in the mirror. Every night, before the girls walked on stage, Ray would stand there, inspecting them, and say "Go on, go on, make me money, you're beautiful". Every night one of the Jons would come up behind her and say "hello beautiful, watta ya say ya make me night as good as me day was." She was told she was beautiful so often she never thought about it. She never looked at herself and thought that she was, or thought that she wasn't. But she was. Anya Hart was, in truth, the most beautiful of all the girls at "La Maison du a Blanc a Monte", "The Home of the White Rose". Aly was dark and seductive, with the curves and the sultry voice that made every customer jump. Desiree was the pretty one, the cute one, who everyone knew and adored, well, as much as a girl who sells herself can be adored. And Julienne, she was the clever quick-witted one, with the sharp eyes that captured you and wouldn't let go. But Anya had more than that. Her skin was like porcelain and her eyes like two flashing green lights that could switch from seductive to heartbroken in a moments time, and could make you feel like you were the only one standing in a room holding thousands. Her hair was smooth and silky, that cascaded down her back in a colour so rare to anyone else's, and complemented her complexion so well. She was small, but healthy and strong, with all the grace and elegance of an upper-class girl. Ray always boated about her to his friends, calling her his "little sparkling diamond". She roused jealousy from Aly, who wanted more than any of the other girls to be mentioned to one of Ray's wealthy friends, in hopes that they could make her a star of more than the local whorehouse. But all of the girls new that Ray wouldn't mention Anya to any of his friends, for fear that they might see the true stage talent she had, and offer her a better job. She was his main attraction, and he couldn't afford to loose her. Anya Hart was "Le Blanc a Monte", the White Rose. _

_And she sat at her dressing table, pondering how she would so her hair that night, when the door opened and Aly and Desiree glided in, both in their dressing robes. _

"_Alright girls!" Aly began, energetically, "let's get ourselves be-a-u-ti-ful!" she said, throwing open Anya's wardrobe and beginning to throw various articles of clothing onto the bed. _

"_Where're all the other girls?" Anya asked, beginning to put on a layer of foundation. At least twenty other girls's lived and worked at the Home of the White Rose, but they had smaller, less elaborate room all along the main hallway. Every night the three older girls, (Julienne not included), would have to help them get dressed and make sure they were wearing garders that matched their corsets and so on. Desiree spoke up from where she was trying on assorted pairs of shoes. _

"_Jewels told me that Ray wants us to let them handle it on their own tonight. They have to learn sometime I guess." Anya shrugged, and gently swept blush onto her face. She finished putting on her makeup as Aly and Desiree did up each other's corsets, making their wastes unhealthily small. They all pull on fish-net stockings, held up with lace suspenders, and slid garders onto their right thighs. They each pulled on their showiest dresses, all incredibly low cut and short, made of the finest lace and sparkling with glitter and jewels. Desiree's was made of a dark, rich blue colour, adorned with pearls and having no sleeves. Aly's was a vibrant shade of red, made of a light material and sparkling with black jewels. _

"_Hey Aly, pull your dress up the corset's sticking out," Anya said, while Desiree pulled the strings on her corset, "it's too early for that yet". Aly shrugged and slipped on her shoes, making her a good five inches taller. Anya put on her dress; black with dark green glitter and an off-the-shoulder top. Aly put pins into all the girl's dresses, attaching them to their corsets, so they wouldn't fall down when they danced. Anya stretched out while the other two put on their dark make-up, sliding herself into splits and making sure her hair wouldn't come down if Ray told her she had to do a back-flip at the last minute. "Hey Aly, don't use that really dark red" she said, getting up from the floor and pulling the lipstick out of her hand, "I don't have much left, and it's my favourite" Aly made a face stood up, fixing up Desiree's hair a bit. Finally all three of them stood in front of Anya's large mirror, as they did every night, to inspect themselves. Anya was, by far, the smallest, even with the shoes, and looked the best. The dark green embedded in her black dress made her eyes glitter, and her hair fell down in small curls at all the right places around her face. Desiree was the next tallest, looking, as always, pretty and sweet, unusual characteristics for a girl of her occupation. Aly stood up, straight and tall, wearing the most make-up and looking incredibly seductive with her chest nearly popping out. Her eyes flickered to Anya for a second, and a blaze of jealousy flashed through her eyes. Still, she didn't let it show, just smoothed out her racy red dress and gave a little contended not, and headed for the door. Desiree and Anya followed her, but not before spraying themselves with a little too much perfume, so that it wouldn't wear off on stage. Aly pulled open the door and they walked into the empty hallway. Across from them was a wall lined with doors, all number. A maid came up the stairs to light the china lamps that lined the hall, giving the girls a small, uncomfortable smile. Aly sneered at her a bit, as if she had guessed what she was thinking, and made her way into one of the rooms across the hall. It was filled with girls of all ages, mostly in their mid-teens, all rushing about, putting on final sweeps of blush and some still trying to make their wastes as small as possible. Aly closed the door with a snap as the three best girls in the business stood in front of their less-talented colleagues. _

"_All right!" Anya yelled, bringing all the girls' attention on them. Aly took a breath and Desiree looked around, trying to bring on a sense of authority to her presence. _

"_Jasmine, Kayla, Laura- you're singing background with us tonight, Ray wants you down in ten." The three girls nodded and hurried to the front. _

"_The rest of you," Desiree said loudly, "tonight is like any other. Proper behaviour is expected, and anyone caught leaving the building will be prosecuted to the highest extent." _

"_Half of you will take the bar," Anya announced, "the other half with be in the theatre unless Ray tells you otherwise." _

"_Right!" Aly said briskly," Each customer has an hour unless they are associated with Ray or offer more then twenty. Work ends at quarter to one. Have a nice night ladies." She concluded mockingly, before Desiree opened the door and the hallway was filled with pretty girls, dressed as their occupation demanded, and all wearing more make-up then all the girl's of the businesses of a similar nature put together. This was their job. This is what they did everyday, and would keep doing until they dyed, reached twenty-five, or were fired. They were the lovely showgirls of "Le Maison du a Blanc de Monte". They sang and danced, entertaining men from all over the city, and considered themselves to be professionals. Did it matter if they liked their job? No. All the matter was that at the end of the day, they had slept with more then seven men, and that Ray got seventy percent of what they made. This is what they did. This is what they were. The girls of "The Home of the White Rose" filed downstairs, ready to begin another night's work._


	3. Chapter III

__

_Anya sat at the chair in front of her vanity, filing her nails. It was around six-thirty in the evening, and her window was open, letting the late summer breeze blow in softly, and the early evening sun shine in. She sat, staring at her reflection in the mirror. Every night, before the girls walked on stage, Ray would stand there, inspecting them, and say "Go on, go on, make me money, you're beautiful". Every night one of the Jons would come up behind her and say "hello beautiful, watta ya say ya make me night as good as me day was." She was told she was beautiful so often she never thought about it. She never looked at herself and thought that she was, or thought that she wasn't. But she was. Anya Hart was, in truth, the most beautiful of all the girls at "La Maison du a Blanc a Monte", "The Home of the White Rose". Aly was dark and seductive, with the curves and the sultry voice that made every customer jump. Desiree was the pretty one, the cute one, who everyone knew and adored, well, as much as a girl who sells herself can be adored. And Julienne, she was the clever quick-witted one, with the sharp eyes that captured you and wouldn't let go. But Anya had more than that. Her skin was like porcelain and her eyes like two flashing green lights that could switch from seductive to heartbroken in a moments time, and could make you feel like you were the only one standing in a room holding thousands. Her hair was smooth and silky, that cascaded down her back in a colour so rare to anyone else's, and complemented her complexion so well. She was small, but healthy and strong, with all the grace and elegance of an upper-class girl. Ray always boated about her to his friends, calling her his "little sparkling diamond". She roused jealousy from Aly, who wanted more than any of the other girls to be mentioned to one of Ray's wealthy friends, in hopes that they could make her a star of more than the local whorehouse. But all of the girls new that Ray wouldn't mention Anya to any of his friends, for fear that they might see the true stage talent she had, and offer her a better job. She was his main attraction, and he couldn't afford to loose her. Anya Hart was "Le Blanc a Monte", the White Rose. _

_And she sat at her dressing table, pondering how she would so her hair that night, when the door opened and Aly and Desiree glided in, both in their dressing robes. _

"_Alright girls!" Aly began, energetically, "let's get ourselves be-a-u-ti-ful!" she said, throwing open Anya's wardrobe and beginning to throw various articles of clothing onto the bed. _

"_Where're all the other girls?" Anya asked, beginning to put on a layer of foundation. At least twenty other girls's lived and worked at the Home of the White Rose, but they had smaller, less elaborate room all along the main hallway. Every night the three older girls, (Julienne not included), would have to help them get dressed and make sure they were wearing garders that matched their corsets and so on. Desiree spoke up from where she was trying on assorted pairs of shoes. _

"_Jewels told me that Ray wants us to let them handle it on their own tonight. They have to learn sometime I guess." Anya shrugged, and gently swept blush onto her face. She finished putting on her makeup as Aly and Desiree did up each other's corsets, making their wastes unhealthily small. They all pull on fish-net stockings, held up with lace suspenders, and slid garders onto their right thighs. They each pulled on their showiest dresses, all incredibly low cut and short, made of the finest lace and sparkling with glitter and jewels. Desiree's was made of a dark, rich blue colour, adorned with pearls and having no sleeves. Aly's was a vibrant shade of red, made of a light material and sparkling with black jewels. _

"_Hey Aly, pull your dress up the corset's sticking out," Anya said, while Desiree pulled the strings on her corset, "it's too early for that yet". Aly shrugged and slipped on her shoes, making her a good five inches taller. Anya put on her dress; black with dark green glitter and an off-the-shoulder top. Aly put pins into all the girl's dresses, attaching them to their corsets, so they wouldn't fall down when they danced. Anya stretched out while the other two put on their dark make-up, sliding herself into splits and making sure her hair wouldn't come down if Ray told her she had to do a back-flip at the last minute. "Hey Aly, don't use that really dark red" she said, getting up from the floor and pulling the lipstick out of her hand, "I don't have much left, and it's my favourite" Aly made a face stood up, fixing up Desiree's hair a bit. Finally all three of them stood in front of Anya's large mirror, as they did every night, to inspect themselves. Anya was, by far, the smallest, even with the shoes, and looked the best. The dark green embedded in her black dress made her eyes glitter, and her hair fell down in small curls at all the right places around her face. Desiree was the next tallest, looking, as always, pretty and sweet, unusual characteristics for a girl of her occupation. Aly stood up, straight and tall, wearing the most make-up and looking incredibly seductive with her chest nearly popping out. Her eyes flickered to Anya for a second, and a blaze of jealousy flashed through her eyes. Still, she didn't let it show, just smoothed out her racy red dress and gave a little contended not, and headed for the door. Desiree and Anya followed her, but not before spraying themselves with a little too much perfume, so that it wouldn't wear off on stage. Aly pulled open the door and they walked into the empty hallway. Across from them was a wall lined with doors, all number. A maid came up the stairs to light the china lamps that lined the hall, giving the girls a small, uncomfortable smile. Aly sneered at her a bit, as if she had guessed what she was thinking, and made her way into one of the rooms across the hall. It was filled with girls of all ages, mostly in their mid-teens, all rushing about, putting on final sweeps of blush and some still trying to make their wastes as small as possible. Aly closed the door with a snap as the three best girls in the business stood in front of their less-talented colleagues. _

"_All right!" Anya yelled, bringing all the girls' attention on them. Aly took a breath and Desiree looked around, trying to bring on a sense of authority to her presence. _

"_Jasmine, Kayla, Laura- you're singing background with us tonight, Ray wants you down in ten." The three girls nodded and hurried to the front. _

"_The rest of you," Desiree said loudly, "tonight is like any other. Proper behaviour is expected, and anyone caught leaving the building will be prosecuted to the highest extent." _

"_Half of you will take the bar," Anya announced, "the other half with be in the theatre unless Ray tells you otherwise." _

"_Right!" Aly said briskly," Each customer has an hour unless they are associated with Ray or offer more then twenty. Work ends at quarter to one. Have a nice night ladies." She concluded mockingly, before Desiree opened the door and the hallway was filled with pretty girls, dressed as their occupation demanded, and all wearing more make-up then all the girl's of the businesses of a similar nature put together. This was their job. This is what they did everyday, and would keep doing until they dyed, reached twenty-five, or were fired. They were the lovely showgirls of "Le Maison du a Blanc de Monte". They sang and danced, entertaining men from all over the city, and considered themselves to be professionals. Did it matter if they liked their job? No. All the matter was that at the end of the day, they had slept with more then seven men, and that Ray got seventy percent of what they made. This is what they did. This is what they were. The girls of "The Home of the White Rose" filed downstairs, ready to begin another night's work._


	4. Chapter IV

__

_"C'mon babe, why don't we paint the town...and all that jazz..." the spotlight glared in her eyes, making them appear to be a startling, bright green, but she didn't blink. Anya moved around the stage, her garder visible to the audience, a cigarette in her hand. The small jazz band and piano played off to the side of the stage, and Aly and Desiree sang and danced behind her. This is what they did every night, trading off who would lead, who would get the spotlight. A small group of younger girls and a few guys were in the background, moving around to beat the beat going and give the performance more presence. Their regular opening song-and-dance routine lasted for a few more minutes, before is finished with Anya sliding into a split, which always sent the crowd wild, and everyone else landing in various sensual, visually pleasing positions, including two spread-eagles by Aly and one of the dancers who worked with Ray. The small band stopped playing and the audience broke into cheers, and the curtain closed and Anya followed Desiree and the rest of the dancers backstage. Aly was doing a solo dance and she and Desiree were supposed to go into the bar-room. She pulled the string that kept her corset together a bit to reveal more of her chest, and brushed a bit more blush onto her cheeks. She and Desiree were both sliding on long pairs of gloves when Ray entered, looking irritated. _

"_One of the Cigarette Girls blew us off-Anya you'll have to cover for her tonight." He told them in a low voice. Anya rolled her eyes-the Cigarette Girls went around in black and pink dresses during the shows, sitting on the guys' laps and lighting their cigarettes, getting them warmed up for the other girls who came in after words. Anya hadn't worked as a Cigarette Girl since she was thirteen, but Ray gave her a look that meant to get her ass in there, and so she obeyed. She walked into the hallway, where some of the younger girls were already taking men upstairs. She didn't go into the dressing room and put a pink and black dress, instead she walked straight into the show-room through the main entrance, where Aly was still on-stage. A few heads turned when she came in; a few older men were giving her looks, so she stepped back into the shadows and leaned against the wall, not really feeling like walking around, flirting with guys she'd end up sleeping with anyways. Instead she began to look at everyone in the room, staring with the guys closest to the stage. These were where the regulars sat, the creeps who came every night to see them perform, and tried to get in to see them on their days off. Tonight there was the usual-guys of all ages, from sailors to shopkeepers; anyone who was looking for a moderately cheap, pleasure-filled night was there, waiting for her to sneak up behind them and whisper something naughty in their ear. _

_In the very back of the room there was a group of people Anya didn't recognize. They were all young, about her age, and all of their hands were stained with black ink. Anya quickly made the assumption that they were newsies, a group of poor guys and girls that woke her up at five in the morning yelling false headlines under her window. The group contained mostly guys, not nearly as spiffed up as the rest of the men who came in, and Anya guessed that they only came in to see the show. She noticed that there were two girls in the group, one of whom was wearing a brilliant red dress, and plastering herself all over one of the newsboys, the other sitting with a short, thin kid who seemed to be her boyfriend, judging by the way he had his arm around her, and didn't even look once at the stage where Aly was kicking her leg up high enough to let everyone know she was wearing blue lace panties from Paris. Anya watched this girl for a bit, not really knowing what to make of her. She couldn't tell what she looked like very well; the room was smoky and dark, but she could see her eyes. They made her slightly nervous with their clear, intense blue colour, even though they remained locked with the short kid's during the whole show. _

_After Aly's song ended, Anya knew her time of relaxation was over. She would have to go into the bar-room for her first pick of the night, or Ray would find out that she had been slacking off, and that wouldn't be good. She quietly stepped back into the light of the room, watching the newsies applauding Aly. She pulled down her corset a button lower, and watched two of them stand up and walk towards the main hallway, towards the bar. Anya followed behind them, and saw that they were the boy and girl she had just been watching. They walked past the main staircase and towards the door, not noticing that Anya was following them. Suddenly she felt someone bump into her, which caused her to bump into the boy in front of her, which caused him to bump into the short girl who's hand he had been holding. She expected him to turn around and see who had run into him, but instead he gently put his hand on her back to steady her, and she turned around, looking up at him with a pair of piercing clear blue eyes that made Anya almost shiver. She smiled and he opened the door for her, and they disappeared. Anya turned around and saw that Aly had run into her, and she gave her a little push. _

"_Watch where you're going bitch" she snapped. Aly gave her a look. _

"_Jesus, just because I look better on stage than you do doesn't mean you have to blow up at me" she told her, trying to fix the pieces of hair that had fallen down when she was dancing. Anya sighed. _

"_C'mon, let's get to work." They threw their chests forward and their shoulders back and walked into the barroom, which was, by now, in full swing. Every table was filled, and numerous girls were sitting on various guy's laps. Music echoed into the room from the performance that was going on across the hall, and the air was heavy with perfume, smoke, and alcohol. The bar was filled, and drinks were being served at a rapid pace. _

"_I think I see my first jonny" Aly said, pulling Anya out of her thoughts and nodding at a handsome, dark haired guy that looked to be in his early twenties. She threw Anya a wink and stalked off to him, throwing her hair over her shoulder as she went. Anya was about to do the same, when she felt someone from being her grab her ass. She turned around slowly, a sultry smile on her face. Ray stood there is tall stature shadowing over her. _

"_Ray, what are you doing here?" she asked. Only on very rare occasions did Ray show up on a night like this, especially one as popular as a Saturday evening, when the bar was open two hours late than normal, and she shows went on as long as the encores were shouted. He usually spent his Saturday evening at a bar in another part of the city, but what he did none of the girls knew. _

"_Have you seen Julie anywhere?" he asked, using the nickname only he was permitted to use, and sounding irritated. _

"_No" Anya answered quickly, not really caring. Julienne's job was to go out on the streets and advertise for a few hours in the afternoon. What she did with the rest of her time was her business. No one else really cared. Anya started to walk off, but Ray grabbed her sharply by her bare arm. _

"_Listen, I need to talk to her. This is very important Anya. She hangs around with those paperboys a lot, so if any of them come in here; find out if they know where she is. Then come tell me. I'll be in my office." He gave her severe looks, a look that he did not give his girls often, a look that make Anya shake a little. She nodded calmly and he released her. "Get back to work" he said, before disappearing into the crowd. A tall, older man was making his way towards her, when she heard the sound of laughter coming from the end of the bar. She spun around and saw what she guessed to be the group of newsboys she had seen earlier, and perhaps a few extra. Several of them were laughing loudly at a joke on of their friends had made. Anya remembered Ray's command, and not wanting to have anything to do with the man that was approaching her, quickly walked over to them, leaned on the back of a chair, licked her lips and said "Hey boys" in a low, seductive voice. The all turned around, some of them seeming rather surprised, but the rest looking exceedingly pleased. They all stood up, except one, a black haired kid who looked rather uncomfortable. Anya looked up at the standing boys, and shook her head, letting her curls bounce. _

"_Oh no need to stand up for me boys, I'm no lady. Make like your friend here and sit down." She said n a teasing voice, nodding to the sitting boy and throwing the others a wink. _

"_Ah, don't mind him, dat's jus Bumlets. He wouldn't know a lady if she slapped him across da face...which, I'm sure, has happened often." One of them said. He was taller than Anya, with tanned skin and sandy brown hair. His clothes were worn, as were the other boys, but to Anya he seemed to look much better in them than they did. His arms were muscular and his face was strong. Anya raised her green eyes to meet his, and found that they were blue, as blue as blue could ever possibly be. _

"_But I know a lady when I see one" he continued, displaying a slight smile, "Da names Spot Conlon, leader of da Brooklyn Newsies" he added, picking up her jewelled hand and lightly kissing it. Anya felt a slight shiver run through her body, but she didn't let it show. She arched an eyebrow and gave him a small, inviting smile. _

"_So, Mr. Conlon," _

"_Spot" he cut in automatically, "Call me Spot. You may not be a lady; an I certainly am no gentleman." A serious of snickers emerged from the group of boys now sitting behind him. _

"_So, Spot, if you are the leader of the Brooklyn Newsies, than I assume these are some of your best boys, out for a night on the town?" this time the whole group laughed. _

"_No, no," Spot said grinning, "dese ain't my boys. Dese are da Manhattan newsies, or at least a few of dem. Dis is Kid Blink," he said, gesturing to a blonde boy with an eyepatch, "Mush," a sweet looking kid with curly brown hair and puppy-dog eyes, "Itey," a thin kid with dark features, "and Bumlets" the black haired kid who sat in the back, and didn't look up when he was introduced. Anya nodded to all of them, smiling, realizing that this was the first time in her life any of her customers had ever been so polite to her; most of them scarcely remembered to tell her their names. _

"_An how 'bout you," Kid Blink asked, giving me a wink, "watta we call yous?" _

"_Oh, call me A-" she caught herself just in time. She felt so comfortable with the newsies she almost forgot what she was there for, and what the rules were: Never give your real name. It was a rule, made by Ray after one of his girls a while back was involved in a messy homicide, and the wrong people found out about her because she gave out her real name. The police got involved and the whole business was at risk. She needed an alias._

"_Aliya" she said, using a name she had recently read in the paper. It was an unusual name, but these boys were used to strange names, and didn't seem to give it a second thought. The group chatted for a while, and Spot bought Anya a drink, and she began to feel, for the first time in her life, like she was with a group of her friends, not a group of paying customers. They had been talking for about ten minutes, when Anya remembered Ray's request. _

"_Hey, do any of you guys know a girl named Julienne?" she asked casually, looking at each of them. Mush, Itey and Kid Blink all shook their heads, and Spot looked like he was shuffling through a list of names in his mind, but after a few moments he too shook his head. Bumlets however, looked slightly alarmed, and began to fiddly with the white cap he was holding in his hands. _

"_Hey Bum, you ok?" Mush asked him. Bumlets didn't answer, but instead grabbed a tall wooden stick that had been leaning against his chair, stood up, and walked quickly out of the room. _

"_Sorry about dat" Kid Blink said after he was gone, "Bumlets ain't used ta being around such beautiful goils, he probably realized he ain't good enough for you" the others laughed a bit, and Anya shrugged, storing the ordeal in the back of her mind. After a few more minutes of conversation, Mush and Kid Blink both said that they had better be getting back to their "Lodging House", and left, and Itey had gone off with some blonde. Anya and Spot were left alone, and her professional techniques began to kick in. _

"_So, do you want me to take you upstairs...you might like what you find" she murmured, moving closer to him and running her finger down his shirt, unbuttoning a few of the buttons. Spot have her a grin and she took him by the hand, leading him out of the room, up the stairs, and down the hall to her bedroom. By the time she was reaching for the doorknob, his hands and mouth her all over her, and her lipstick was smudged. That night was Anya's first with the famous Spot Conlon, and it would certainly not be her last. _


	5. Chapter V

_"Well Higgins, you've beat me best boy again" Bullet said, a grin on his face, giving Race a slap on the back. _

"_Ah, what can I say Bull, I had a pretty goil by me side da whole time. Dat'll win you any game" Race replied, giving Lefty's hand a little squeeze. She stood next to him, both of them preparing to leave with the rest of their group, paying their last respects to the host. _

"_Yeah, Lefty'll do dat for ya, she's funny like dat" Bullet said, throwing her a wink, "nice ta have you two tonight. See ya 'round." _

"_Bye Bull." Race said, smirking as he spit shook with the Bronx leader. Bullet leaned over and gave Lefty a small peck on the cheek, before Race put his arm around her and opened the door. They stepped out into the warm summer night, and Race spun her around gently, putting his arms around her waist and pulling her close. _

"_So kid, whatta ya think, ya wanna go for a walk down da pier?" he asked. Lefty smiled back at him, letting her arms drape themselves around his neck. _

"_That sounds nice…" she whispered. He leaned foreword until their foreheads where touching, and she lifted her chin towards him. His lips had almost reached hers when suddenly the door of the Bronx Lodging House burst open and Kid Blink came out, shouting, followed by Mush, Jack, Asia, Ringlets and Taylor. Lefty and Race immediately turned their heads to face the group and let each other go. _

"_Well Race, for a second dere I really thought Tricks wuz gonna cry" Jack said enthusiastically, clamping his hand on Race's shoulder. _

"_Yeah, dat was sometin' else Race" Mush added. Race gave a crooked grin, and Kid Blink laughed. _

"_So, where a' we gonna go fa de afta pahty?" he asked. _

"_Harlem?" Asia suggested, "Deres always a party goin on somewhere in Harlem" _

"_I don't feel like goin over dere tonight, someone always comes back missing a limb when we go ovah dere" Jack said uneasily. _

"_Why don't we go see a few shows?" Mush put in._

"_Medda's?" _

"_Nah, she'll be packed tonight. How bought da Rose?" Kid Blink_ _said_. _Jack nodded and the rest off them started off into the night. _

"_Ahem" Taylor put in, not having moved from her spot. The rest of them turned around, and Jack clasped his hands behind his back impatiently. _

"_Ringlets, you promised ta help me wit da younga kids tonight. Lefty," Taylor's eyes flickered to where Lefty's hand was attached to Race's, "keep an eye on Asia" Lefty let out a laugh and Asia glared. Ringlets pouted and gave Mush a quick, unexpected kiss, before she and Taylor both left. _

_ A half an hour later the six of them were sitting in the back of a smoke filled room, watching a redhead onstage dancing her legs off. Race and Lefty sat at the end of the table, neither of them paying any attention to the show. His arm was around her and they spoke to each other in low voice, him laughing at her teasing, her smiling when he did. They did not notice when the song ended and another girl was brought on, they did not notice when Asia pranced around Blink, they did not notice that Jack and Mush were getting more intoxicated every time a short-skirted waitress came around. They only ceased looking at each other when Blink stood up and gave a cheer as the girl onstage began to loose more and more of her clothing. At this Lefty stood up and gave Asia's hair a tug. _

"_I'm leaving. If you want me to keep my mouth shut about what you've been doing tonight you'd better-" she stopped talking as Asia pressed a few folded up bills into her hand. _

"_I think you might be wanting me to keep my mouth shut about what you've been up tonight" Asia replied, her eyes drifting to behind Lefty where Race was standing, talking to Jack. Lefty gave a mischievous smile and moved herself closer to Race, and he put his hand on her shoulder, gently pushing her out of the room. They walked into the richly decorated main hallway, moving towards the door. Suddenly Race felt someone bump into him, which caused him to run into Lefty. He put his hand on her back to keep her from falling, and she turned around, smiling, as he opened the door for her. They both stepped outside, and Race let out a sigh. _

"_Gawd, I thought we'd nevah get out a dere" he remarked as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigar. He drew up a match and put the cigar to his mouth, but Lefty moved it away and blew it out. _

"_Race…" she whispered. He smirked and placed a hand on her cheek, leaning in and kissing her deeply. She pulled the cigar out of his hand and slid it back into his pocket, and placed her hand around his neck kissing him back like she'd been craving to do all evening. _

"_Well lookie dere" a voice said from behind Race. He broke the kiss and turned around slowly, a sly smirk on his face. _

"_Dat ain't so nice Spot, interrupting a guy when he's tryin ta kiss his goil" Race said, folding his arms across his chest. _

"_Oh I ain't interruptin ya Race," Spot said as he walked towards them, "I'se just trying ta save Lefty heah from bein tortured like dat" _

"_I can take it Conlon, don't worry about me" Lefty said, putting her arms around Race. _

"_Well I know I couldn't" Spot said as he picked up Lefty's hand and gave it a kiss. Race smacked it away and spit shook with Spot, only now noticing the two boys he had behind him. _

"_Heya boys, watta ya doin out so late, I thought it'd be past ya bedtime" he asked them. Bumlets and Itey both frowned at him, but managed to give Lefty a polite smile. _

"_We was jus in da neighborhood and in da mood fa some…lite entertainment" Spot explained. Race laughed. _

"_Well Spot, I tink you'll find exactly what ya looking for in dere" he told him. _

"_Hey Spot!" the group turned around and saw Blink, Jack, Mush and Asia coming out of the building and waving at them. _

"_Heya Jackie, boys and…well, I'd say lady, but-" _

"_Watch it Conlon" Asia said, giving Spot a dangerous look that he laughed off. _

"_I didn't expect to have a Manhattan run-in till tomorrow, but still, c'mon Cowboy, lets go in. I'll let ya buy me a drink" Jack laughed but shook his head. _

"_Tanks Spot, but I'se gotta be headin back ta da Bronx. Got some business ta sort out wid Bull, but Blink an Mush'd love ta go back inside, wouldn't ya boys?" they laughed and spit-shook with Spot. They all started talking, and as Lefty spoke she saw Asia slipping away into the darkness. She sighed, silently hoping she'd be back alright in the morning. _

"_Well, I sorry ta leave you boys, but I've got some business to attend to, ya know how it is, eh Spot?" Jack said after a while. _

"_Yeah, I do Jackie-boy, but I know when ta put business aside for pleasure" Spot remarked. Race sniggered and the others laughed. Jack spit-shook with Spot and waved good-bye, planted his black hat on his head, and walked off. _

"_So, Higgins, where da you tink your going wid liddle Miz Lefty heah?" Blink asked, winking with his visible eye. Race gave a smirk and shook his head. _

"_Dats fa me to know, and you ta wish you was takin her out" Blink looked slightly dismayed, but Spot laughed. _

"_Get outta heah Race, try to impress her while you've still got some dignity" he said. Lefty gave Spot a wink and he whistled as the two of the walked down the street, away from the rest of the boys. They walked until they were back in Manhattan, and went down to Midtown where the streets were cleaner and so were the people. The lights were everywhere, reflecting off their faces, as he held her slim waist close to him and they walked near the water. _

"_Ya know, sometimes I tink Blink would be goin afta ya if I hadn't gotten to you first" Race said as soon as they were away from the throngs of people he knew, crowding to be part of the New York nightlife. Lefty didn't respond immediately, but thought about Blink's reaction when Race had told him he and Lefty were going out. He hadn't smiled or said anything, just slapped Race on the back a little bit harder than necessary and left the room. _

"_I wouldn't have gone out wit Blink. Besides, he's got his eyes on someone else I think." Race gave a short, doubtful laugh as an image of Asia flashed through his mind. _

"_Besides, I didn't think you were da jealous type Race" she said, stopping and putting her arms loosely around his neck. _

"_Wit you I am" he said softly, half-joking, half-serious. She smiled and kissed him lightly and he leaned in to make it deeper, but she pulled away. He opened his eyes and she mirrored his smirk. _

"_You're a funny kid Race" she said, wrinkling her nose cutely and tilting her head. He put his hands on her face to hold her still, and leaned in, giving her a fierce kiss, leaving her breathless. _

"_Still funny?" he asked. _

"_Hilarious" she responded before pulling him close to her and kissing him with all the passion she held for him. They stayed by the docks until someone made them leave, and Race walked her back to the Girls' Lodging House. _

"_So, I guess I'll see ya tomorrah den?" he asked, looking up at her as she stood on the steps. He still held her small hand in his, and was tracing her delicate fingers. _

"_Mmmhmmm" she responded. He smirked slightly as he looked at her, but his sarcastic expression turned into a soft smile as she leaned down over the metal railing and kissed him goodnight. The door opened behind her, revealing Ringlets, wearing a long nightdress and a shawl. Race pulled away and looked at her, giving her a grin that caused her to giggle. Lefty turned around, smiling. _

"_Lefty, you'd bettah get inside before Taylor figures out how long you've been out" Ringlets said, still giggling. Lefty rolled her eyes and let Race kiss her again, before Ringlets took her by the arm and pulled her inside. Race walked backwards away from the building, looking at Lefty, waving, a grin still on his face. She smiled and blew him a kiss, before Ringlets shut the door. _


	6. Chapter VI

_"And, again, Desiree I want you in front this time, and Aly, please try not to let your corset fall so far down, its only rehearsal" the cabaret director told the group of girls onstage. Anya stood there, in a tight fitting shirt and skirt that fell to her knees, twirling a loose red curl around on her finger, not listening to anything the director was saying. She kept thinking about the night before. She had never, in her entire career, made love with a guy like that. He was in her room longer than she had ever let anyone stay in there before, almost two full hours. Every kiss he gave her was deep and full of passion, and she had longed for him to kiss her again every time he pulled away, leaving her breathless. She had never thought about her customers the day after before, and she had never wanted to see a particular customer again like she wanted to see Spot. Before he had left he had told her he wanted to see her again, and she had responded likewise. Tonight was Saturday night, the busiest and most popular night, and she was hoping he would be there. She had never had an attraction to anyone the men she had slept with before; she had scarcely ever remembered their names, if they told them to her. But Spot Conlon was different. He was handsome and strong and streetwise and charming. She had ever actually gone out with any guys before, and she had never known what kind of guy she'd like to be with. Now she new Spot was the kind of man she needed; one night had told her that" _

"_Anya" she heard her name whispered as Aly tugged on her sleeve. _

"_What?" _

"_Ray" she answered, pointing to the back of the room where Ray stood, looking like he hadn't gotten much sleep and was suffering from a severe hangover. He pointed at Aly, Anya and Desiree, and motioned for them to come over to him. The three slid down off the stage, walking past the empty tables to where Ray was standing. _

"_Alright girls, listen to me, this is very important, and I want you to answer me truthfully, because if I find out you've lied it won't be good for you." He said in a serious undertone. _

"_Ah, don't worry Ray, you can trust us" Aly said, crossing her arms. _

"_Did you three see Julienne last night at all?" all three girls shook there head. _

"_After we closed and you where in bed, did you hear anyone walking in the hall?" he persisted. They shook there heads again. _

"_Is something wrong?" Desiree asked earnestly. _

"_She hasn't been in since yesterday morning, and I need to find her. Soon." Ray told them. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled up a whad of folded up bills. _

"_This goes to the girl who can bring me Julienne by tomorrow night." He said, grinning, displaying several gold-coated teeth. Aly's eyes grew wide and Anya and Desiree exchanged skeptical glances. Ray gave them each a serious look as he put the money back into his pocket, and walked away. Aly immediately ran to the nearest window and looked out, up and down the street, and hailed a policeman. He saw her and began walking towards the window, until Anya took Aly by the hair and pulled her back inside by her hair. _

"_What the hell do you think you're doing?" she asked as Desiree shut the window and drew the lace curtains. _

"_Hey, the cops'll be able to find Jewels way faster than I can, and-"_

"_What are you thinking? You can't get the police involved in this! Do you have any idea what that could mean for the business?" Desiree shot at Aly angrily. Cops had always frightened her, and Anya and the other girls suspected in her past she had had some run-in with them. Anya sighed and let go of Aly's dress._

"_I don't know what's up with Jewels, and frankly I don't really care." Anya told both of them._

"_I do. Poor girl could be lying dead somewhere and her brothers placed a bounty on her head like she's some criminal. We all know the kind of people she hangs out with. Gang members and those newsboys-I've heard they're very violent." Desiree said, her eyes wide. Anya let a small smirk cross her face._

"_Oh, I don't think the newsies are as bad as you think Desiree, you've jut got to get to know them first." Anya told her, her mind drifting back to the previous night. Desiree shrugged but Aly raised an eyebrow. Before she could say anything Desiree cleared her throat._

"_We'd better get back to rehearsal." She said, her loose curls bouncing as she walked off towards the stage. Anya and Aly followed her, and Anya spent the rest of the afternoon onstage, perfecting her moves in hope that the blue-eyed kid from Brooklyn might be there that night ion the audience, and be convinced that her sexuality onstage equaled her sexuality in bed, and be persuaded to join her for another wild night. _


	7. Chapter VII

_Lefty and Race burst into the seemingly empty bunkroom laughing hysterically. Lefty was leaning on Race for support, who was having some trouble keeping her up, for he was nearly doubling over with laughter, wiping tears from his eyes. Race had been telling her a story about when Blink was a kid, one that he liked to tell at parties he found particularly dull, one that definitely lightened up the mood. Lefty, as he had anticipated, had found it extremely humorous, and was still laughing when Race put his hands around her slim waist and lifted her up, seating her on the top bunk he and Blink shared. He climbed up and joined her, kissing her cheek and smiling._

"_Ya know, its Satiday, and most a da boys'll be sellin da aftanoon edition, and I tink da chances of somebody walkin in on us is pretty slim…" he trailed off as she turned her head and stared into him with her clear blue eyes. She captivated him. She could have told him to do anything, and he would have done it. She could have asked him any question, and he would have answered. If she told him to go jump off the Brooklyn Bridge he would have done it, without hesitation, as long as her face would be the last thing he saw. She brought him back to life by kissing him gently a kiss that he was glad to deepen. She put her arms around his neck as their kiss grew more passionate, and he gently began to lower her down on the bed. Lefty ran her delicate fingers down the collar of his shirt, but as she did they both heard the door to the bunkroom bang open, and sat up immediately. It was Mush, who seemed slightly embarrassed but mostly amused at the sight of them looking down anxiously at him from the bunk._

"_Ooo Race it's gonna cost you a lot to keep me from tellin Blink you've been foolin around wit one a da prettiest goils in Manhattan on his bunk" he said as he walked over to his bunk and reached under his mattress, pulling out a bag and taking out a few coins._

"_Where ya goin Mush, ya gotta date? Oh no, that can't be it. You haven't had a date…ever. Wouldn't wanna break dat record." Race shot back, smirking as he jumped down from the bunk. Lefty hopped down and put her arms around his waist, standing on her tiptoes and looking over his shoulder at Mush. He winked at her and she let go of Race and walked down the row of bunks to the large window. It was open, and she leaned her head out and let the light breeze cool her face. Just then she looked down at the fire escapes below her and saw to people standing there, a few floors down. It was Bumlets; the white cap she recognized, and some little blonde girl who he was talking to very rapidly. _

"_Listen Twitch, I'm tellin you, dere out dere, and dere lookin' for you." Lefty heard Bumlets say._

"_Ya tink I don't know dat? I know my brotha more dan anyone, and I know how ta take care a myself. Quit worrying about me Bumlets, I know what I'm doin" the small blonde girl said._

"_If you don't watch out dis could get very dangerous Twitch."_

"_Fuck off. I am watching out. Dis ain't none a your concoin"_

"_Hey, your da one who told me about you plan, your da one who asked for my help. I told you dis would happen, but you didn't listen…" Just then Lefty felt someone put a hand on her shoulder. _

"_Hey doll, Mush says Jack-" Race began._

"_Sshh" Lefty put her finger to his lips and backed away from the window. _

"_What?" Race asked._

"_Nothing. What does Jack want?" Lefty asked, closing the window gently and lighting a cigarette._

"_To see us at Tibby's" Race answered, already putting his arm around her shoulders and walking towards the door. Mush followed them downstairs, but as soon as he noticed Ringlets and Asia coming towards the door he spun around back inside._

"_Hey Race" he yelled into the street from the doorway. Race turned around, an eyebrow raised._

"_What?" _

"_Does my haih look ok?" _

"_No" Race laughed as Lefty rolled her eyes. Mush didn't see because he was already standing up straight, looking like a doorman ready to welcome Ringlets into a hotel. She laughed and took his arm and they shut the door, leaving Asia outside. _

"_Hey guys, wait up" she called to Lefty and Race, who didn't stop walking. _

"_C'mon Asia, Tibby's'll be full a guys dis time a day, you'll be able to break plenty of hearts befoah dinna" Race smirked and Asia caught up with them right as they turned to go into the restaurant. Jack stood up and spitshook with Race as soon as they came in._

"_Glad you guys could make, but we didn't ask for live entertainment" he said, casting a teasing glance at Asia, dressed in her usual provocative red. _

"_Haha Kelly, ya almost as funny as Race is charming." She returned as she slid into the booth next to Blink, who seemed to perk up a bit. _

"_Alright, listen everybody, we've got a bit of--Racetrack" Jack began but stopped and frowned down at Race, who already had a cigar hanging out of the side of his mouth and was shuffling his cards._

"_What?" was the insulted response. _

"_Lefty" Jack gazed down at her. She quickly pulled the cigar from his mouth and placed her lips on his, causing everyone else to groan in disgust, and Race completely forget about the cards in his hands. _

"_Pay attention Race" she whispered, in a voice that almost was promising something if he obeyed, which he did._

"_Anyways, we have just heard from Spot, who has just come back from a meeting with Queens, that they're not too happy with us right now. Anybody know any reason why they wouldn't be?" Jack asked, looking around the table, which was fairly cluttered with some of Manhattan's best newsies. They all shrugged, much to Jack's disappointment, as he looked around at all of them._

"_Wait a minute, weahs Mush an Ringlets?" he asked. Race smirked._

"_Busy" Lefty said shortly. Asia and Blink both looked extremely amused, and Jack went back to business, explaining the situation in Queens._

"_Apparently Dice says someone from Manhattan keeps comin ovah dere and makin deals wit his boys." He told them._

"_What kind of deals?" Skittery asked._

"_Spot said Dice was sorta vague on da details, but he says if e don't watch out we might have a fight on our hands, and if any a yous knows anyting about someone having issues wit Queens now would be da time ta say so" Jack said. Everyone shook their heads or shrugged, and Race, bored now, lit up his cigar. _

"_I wouldn't worry about it Jackie-boy." Skittery said, ever doubtful, "Dice is probably jus getting bored; he always wants ta pick a fight wit us. It's probably nothing." Jack rolled his eyes, and everyone else seemed to become disinterested, and Race and Blink had already started playing blackjack. Just as everyone began talking and Jack sat down, defeated, Lefty noticed the door open ad the blonde girl she'd seen talking to Bumlets walked in. _

"_Hey Jack" Lefty called across the table. He leaned towards her and she lowered her voice. "Who's dat goil?" she gestured tom the blonde, who was at the bar, arguing with the bartender. _

"_I don't really know, she hangs around wit Bumlets all da time, and she always tries to sleep in our Lodging House, and she gets real pissed when I tell her she can't." Jack told her. Lefty shrugged, thinking about the strange girl no longer, and turning her attention to Race. Even as she did the strange girl took her drink and looked out the window, seeing something outside that made her drop it and run to the bar and duck down behind it. No one heard the glass fall to the ground and shatter, except Lefty, who, out of the corner of her eye, though she saw the side window open and a blur of dirty blonde hair jump out of it. Just then the front door opened again and a group of angry looking, sweaty guys stalked in, walking over to their table and causing everyone to jump. _

"_Dice," Jack said quite casually as the tallest and leader of the group cleared his throat loudly, "always a pleasure." He stood up and offered a spit-dosed hand for Dice to shake, but he only sneered at it. _

"_Any a yous seen a goil walk in here recently?" he asked loudly, looking down at everyone sitting. Jack glanced at Lefty, who raised an eyebrow._

"_What business do have wit some goil who's walking around on our turf? Old goilfriend?" Jack asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Dice was not amused. As he argued with Jack, Lefty glanced towards the far window, and saw the girl peering through it, ducking every now and then. She seemed very anxious and slightly frightened, and Lefty didn't blame her. Dice had frightened her many times. She kicked Jack's foot lightly under the table, catching his eye and shaking her head. This motion also caught Dice's eye and he turned to look down at her. _

"_Heya Lefty, how ya been?" he asked enthusiastically, his leering eyes traveling up and down her body. Lefty shivered slightly and Race reached for her hand under the table. _

"_Fine Dice." She answered politely. Dice sad something to one of his boys and laughed, inching closer to Lefty. He bent down and put his face very close to her's. _

"_Ya know, sweethaht I'm free tonight, and I know a great place in Queens, where we can f-" Before the word even fell from his lips Race had leapt up out of his seat and hit Dice as hard as he could. Immediately both of his boys lunged at Race, who was saved only by Jack grabbing the back of his vest and pulling him out of their reach. By this time everyone was standing up, waiting for another punch to be thrown, waiting for a reason to soak three of Queens' best. But Dice gave no signal to his companions to do anything, and stood there with a smug smile on his face, eyes still drifting to Lefty, who was safely standing behind Blink. He said nothing, but walking towards the door, motioning for his boys to follow him. Jack made sure that they were completely out of sight before he released Race, who seemed like he was going to run after them at any moment. _

_In the days to follow that brief encounter with Queens would seem like nothing. The strange blonde girl would be seen again and again. Everything was going _

_Everything was going to change, and no one would be prepared for it. _


	8. Chapter VIII

_"Wow." _

_"I know"_

_"You were incredible"_

_"I know" _

_Anya and Spot in a tangled mass of blue and gold sheets, their arms wrapped around each other, their breathing heavy. It was a month since Anya and Spot Conlon had first met in the bar, and since then he had become her regular, and they were together every weekend, except Sundays, the day when La Maison du a Blanc a Monte was closed. The arrangement they had was perfect; he came, he paid, he left. Their nights were filled with passion, more so than Anya had ever given to any of her other customers, yet they knew little about each other. She only knew that he was the newsie leader of Brooklyn, and that he had somewhat of a reputation, but she had no idea what kind of reputation it was. She didn't know any of his friends; they didn't sit around in the bar anymore and chat. Spot would come in, and they'd go right upstairs and get down to business. And quite frankly, that was the way Anya liked it. She had grown to look forward to their weekends together much more than she would have anticipated, and found herself thinking about him when she was bored. She didn't suppose he ever thought about her during the week, he had his own life, of course. She played a minor role in it. Just the red-haired whore he'd come and amuse himself with Friday and Saturday nights. _

_They had been lying there sometime when Anya stretched and yawned, sitting up a bit. _

"_I'd better get back to work" she said as he massaged her bare back. He dropped his hand farther and farther down until she turned around, giving him a look._

"_You know I charge extra for overtime" she told him, an alluring look in her eyes. _

"_Mmmm" was the reply as she sank down on top of him, her lips enveloping his. The window was slightly open, allowing a cool night breeze the enter the room. From the street below voices could be heard, shouting, but Anya gave them no heed. It was Saturday night; the streets must be crawling with drunks. The yells became louder as Spot and Anya's "overtime" became more passionate. _

"_Coleman, you'd betta yell louda so Dice'll heah…you're gonna need all da help you can get" was the angry cry. Anya ignored it, but Spot stopped kissing her chest abruptly and sat up. Anya emitted a neglected whine as he let go of her sweaty body completely. _

"_Spot…" she whined, pouting, "what is it?" more shouts came from the street, and pretty soon Spot had leapt out of the bed with a sheet wrapped around his middle, and ran over to the large window. _

"_Jesus Christ" Anya heard him mutter as he looked down onto the street below. He moved quickly, throwing the sheet aside (causing Anya's eyes to go wide) and hastily pulling on his clothes. _

"_Hey, what are you doing?" Anya asked as he buttoned his pants. The wind blew in stronger through the window and she too wrapped a sheet around herself. _

"_I gotta go, sorry about dis doll…" he seemed genuinely irritated at having to leave so quickly, but his eyes kept flickering towards the window. He dropped some money onto the bedside table as he pulled on his suspenders.   
"So, see you Friday then?" Anya asked, still some hope in her voice that he might stay. He looked down on her wantingly, and he grabbed her ass suddenly and pulled her up into a fierce kiss. Anya giggled, surprised but pleased, and slipped her fingers into his hair. Just them a shot was heard from the window. Spot released her altogether, and backed away. _

"_Oh shit" he said, panicked, before he ran out the door and slammed it shut. Anya clutched the dark blue sheet around her and ran to the window, peering down at the street, gasping at what she saw. A body lay sprawled in the middle of the road, and already a group of people were gathering around the scene. A flash of white caught Anya's eye. She leaned further out the window, and saw a small blonde girl running away from the scene, her body illuminated as it passed under the streetlights. Anya knew in an instant. Julienne. She quickly shut the window and locked it, running over to her wardrobe and pulled out a heavy, long-sleeved robe, dark green and embroidered with gold thread. She slipped on a pair of tasseled slippers and put a pin in her ruffled curls. She pulled the robe's high collar up around her neck, vainly trying to hide the hickey Spot had given her. She ran out the door and into the hallway, crowded with people trying to get downstairs; they had heard the gunshot too. She looked around wildly until her eyes landed on a small, black-haired girl. _

"_Carrie!" she yelled. They girl turned around and ran over to her. _

"_Yes Miss?" the new girl asked, showing the proper respect to Anya, a, authority over her. _

"_Carrie, go to Ray's room and tell him to go outside-quick!" she commanded. The little girl seemed surprised of the request, but she scampered off anyways. Anya squeezed her way through the crowed and ran downstairs and out the front door, out into the cool July evening. People were everywhere, and Anya looked around for any sign of Julienne. Instead she saw Spot over near a lamppost and ran over to him. _

"_Spot!" she called. She found herself standing in front of a small crowd of boys, all gathered near the body, shielding it from the street so that people passing by could not see it. They had all been talking to Spot, but stopped quickly and turned to look at her. _

"_Aliya, what da hell are you doin out heah?" Spot asked urgently. Anya crossed her arms as one of Spot's acquaintances whistled at her. _

"_I was about to ask you the-" _

"_What da hell happened?!!" a loud voice asked from behind Spot. Everyone turned around to see a large group of guys walking quickly through the crowd, all of them looking very panicked. _

"_Jackie, finally, what took ya so long?" Spot asked, spit-shaking with a tall kid, leading the group. _

"_We was in Midtown-who is it?" the kid asked, looking over Spot's shoulder. Spot leaned towards him and said something inaudible. They spoke to each other for a while, making Anya thoroughly annoyed that she was being ignored. _

"_We're heah!" _

"_What's goin on?" _

"_We would have got heah fastah, but we had ta pull Asia from a pahty in Harlem" Anya turned to see six new people running up towards them, three guys and three girls. Anya thought she recognized a couple of them. Spot and his tall friend walked over to the small group, and again they spoke in hushed voices, but Anya was close enough to hear. _

"_Who is it?" a boy with an eyepatched asked. _

"_Coleman, we think, face got a liddle smashed up." Spot's friend answered. _

"_Queens?" a girl with long, curly hair asked. Jack nodded._

"_And on our territory to…Jesus we's in for it now Jackie-boy" The girl who had spoken was someone who Anya instantly recognized. She was very small, with her waist held tightly by the arms of a boy scarcely two inches taller than she. Anya coughed slightly; the night wind was growing colder. The girl turned and gazed at her with ice cold blue eyes, that even in future years Anya could never quite get used to. _

"_Who's dis?" the girl asked over everyone else. Everyone looked at her, and several of the boy's gave her inviting looks. _

"_Dis is…um…ah," Spot struggled for a proper introduction. _

"_We get it Conlon" a tall girl in a red dress that looked like it came straight from Aly's closet said. The boy who had his arms circled around the blue-eyed girl's waist smirked. _

"_Look, I just came out here 'cause I thought I saw someone I knew over here." Anya began to turn away, but was called back. _

"_Whoa whoa whoa, hold on dere kid, who'd ya see?" a boy asked. Anya shrugged, for one disliking being in the spotlight. _

"_No one, just a goil I thought I knew." She answered lightly. A few looks were passed between the group. _

"_Whad does dis goil look like?" the tall kid who had been talking to Spot asked. Anya stepped back a bit, she was feeling slightly smothered. _

"_Ah, blonde, short, kind of dirty…hey, wait, why do you care?" she stopped her description abruptly, but the tall kid was already talking to Spot. Anya began to walk away again, but another tall kid caught her arm. _

"_Oh no ya don't" he said. _

"_Let me go!" she screamed, feeling very overwhelmed and looking at Spot for help. _

"_Skittery, leave her alone," the tall kid said. _

"_Jack, da bulls a gonna be heah any minute" someone told him. Anya could already hear their whistles and she heard Ray's yelling. She turned around and he was pushing Aly and Desiree back inside the building. She had to get back in. Ray would lock the doors for sure on a night like this. She pushed the kid named Skittery away from her and ran towards the White Rose. She pulled at the front doors, banged on them, screamed out, but no one opened them. She shrank back away from the building, frightened and dismayed. She felt a hand touch her shoulder. She looked up to see they curly-haired girl looking at her sweetly. _

"_You'd better come home wit us" she said kindly. Anya pulled away. _

"_What? Come home…where?... No, I can't just-" _

"_You want da bulls ta come'n arrest you? Cuz dats what's gonna happen in about five minutes unless you don't get outta heah. Unless you got somewhere else ta go?" Anya shook her head. The girl smiled. _

"_Good. We're only a ten-minute walk away. You can spend da night, and anyways, Jack'll wanna talk ta yous in da morning. My names Ringlets, by da way, on acounta me hair" she shook her head a bit, letting the curls bounce, and put her arm around Anya. _

"_Goils" she called to the group. The one with the eyes walked over. _

"_What Ringlets?" she asked, tiredly. _

"_She's spending da night wit us." Ringlets announced. The girl raised an eyebrow and looked Anya over. _

"_You really tink dat's a good idea?" she asked. Ringlets nodded. _

"_Of course, she don't got no where else ta go. Oh what are Jack an Spot arguing about now?" _

"_Her" the girl said, "what we're gonna do wit her. Spot wants her ta go, Jack thinks she should stay…I guess we should tell dem about your decision Ringlets. But where is…I'm sorry, what's your name?" she asked, tilting her head at Anya. _

"_Um, Ali-" she stopped. There was no point in lying, "Anya." _

"_Oh. Dat's nice, I'm Lefty" she spit into her left hand an offered it to Anya, who didn't act disgusted; she had seen the newsies do that on the streets. She shook Lefty's hand lightly. _

"_C'mon, da sooner we get outta heah da betta." Lefty said as they three of them walked over to the group. Ringlets and Lefty spoke to the tall kid, Jack, and Spot, who kept looking over at Anya. Eventually, much to Anya's disappointment, Spot turned and walked towards Brooklyn, telling everyone he'd see them in the morning. _

"_C'mon Anya," said Lefty as the group began to move, "we're goin home" _

"_Where exactly is home?" Anya asked. _

"_Right in da middle a Duane Street, Manhattan Goils' Lodging House. Probably not a nice as da living situation you've been accustomed to, but it's all right" Ringlets told her. Anya sighed, feeling tired and still not quite believing what was happening to her. But she said nothing and walked towards the very center of the city, walking away from everything she had ever known, and into what would become the greatest change of her life. _


	9. Chapter IX

_Lefty awoke so someone's hand jabbing itself into her side. She moaned and turned over, opening her eyes slightly to see a very small girl in a faded nightgown peering at her. _

"_What do you want Buttons?" she whined, stuffing her face into her pillow. _

"_Miz Taylor an Miz Ringlets wanna see you, dey is ovah dere," she pointed to across the room where Taylor's large bed was. Lefty pulled her thin sheet around her shoulders and slowly stepped out of bed. It was Sunday, and she had made up her mind that she wasn't going to get up until nine to sell the morning edition. She walked across the bunkroom, and over to Taylor's bed, which many of the other girls were crowded around. Pushing some of the little ones aside, Lefty went and stood beside Taylor. _

"_What's going on?" she asked, yawning. _

"_The girl we picked up last night" Taylor answered. Lefty looked down and sure enough, cuddled up in Taylor's blankets, was the redhead that had come home with them. Lefty leaned in closer to get a better look at her. She was very pretty, prettier than Asia, and Ringlets, even Taylor. Her skin looked like milk or porcelain, Lefty thought, and assumed she probably never went outside. Her hair was beautiful; long, red curls, and almost looked like they had been arranged around her face on the pillow. She was still wearing the heavy green robe she'd had on the night before, and Lefty was sure she hadn't even seen the most glamorous girls in Brooklyn wear anything made of fabric so beautiful. And Lefty was also sure that she wasn't the kind of girl who was going to be happy when she woke up in the Manhattan Girls' Lodging House. _

"_You think she's ok?" Lefty asked. _

"_She doesn't have a fevah" Taylor said. _

"_Maybe we should wake her up" Ringlets suggested. _

"_You really think dat's such a good idea?" Lefty asked her. _

"_Well we can't just leave her heah…Jack wants us all at Tibby's in half an hour." Taylor told them. Just then they heard the front door slam form downstairs and someone's high-heeled shoes slowly making their way up the stairs. _

"_Dat'll be Asia" Lefty said and sure enough, Asia walked through the door a few seconds later, wearing the red dress she'd had on the night before very loosely, as though it had been thrown on quickly. Her hair was tousled and her dark eye make-up was smeared. _

"_Lovely morning, isn't it Asia?" Ringlets asked sweetly. Asia glared at her and pulled off her shoes, looking over at the bed. _

"_Is da whore awake yet?" she asked loudly. Lefty and Ringlets quickly began to get some of the younger girls away from the bed. _

"_I'd be caeful who I called a whore if I was you Asia" Taylor said, looking down on her. Asia stood up a bit taller and smiled seductively. _

"_I'm goin ta bed" she told them. _

"_Oh no you're not" Taylor said, grabbing her arm, "you're comin ta Tibby's wit us. Now go put something more modest on" Asia grimaced. _

"_What she means is, go put something from Ringlet's closet on" Lefty said, sitting on the bed. _

"_Fuck off Lefty" Lefty was on her feet and instant later, and soon everyone was yelling_

"_Ya know, I don't caeh how many times you got knocked up las night Asia, I'm still gonna beat da crap outta yous" _

"_Ya just jealous Lefty, cuz ya liddle Racetrack ain't nevah gonna-" Lefty's hand came flying across Asia face before her words fell, and soon Ringlets was holding Asia back and Taylor was holding Lefty, and the younger girls were pulling each other's hair and running around crying, but above it all came an ear-piercing, shrill cry of _

"_WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" Everyone stopped running or yelling or slapping or kicking to turn around and look at the girl, sitting upright in Taylor bed, an absolutely horrified look on her face. Asia had managed to push Ringlets off of her but Taylor still had her arm around Lefty's middle, holding her down. They all looked at her for a moment, before Ringlet's came to her senses. _

"_Good morning Anya, sleep well?" she asked sincerely. Anya nodded very slowly, her bright green eyes looking at each of the four girls standing in front of her in turn. Lefty wiggled her way out of Taylor grip and spit into her palm, holding it out to Anya. _

"_Welcome to da Manhattan News Goils' Lodgin House" she said. Anya raised an eyebrow slightly but accepted the greeting, and stood up out of bed. _

"_Dis is Taylor, she's our leada, and dis is Asia, she's, well…" Ringlets struggled to find the right words as Asia gave her a look, "I guess you'll figure it out soon" she added softly. _

"_Showah's ovah dere if ya wanna get cleaned up a bit, an lets see..." Taylor looked around at the four girls, "you're pretty small, Lefty'll lend ya some a her clothes" Anya looked at the small girl with the bright blue eyes. She smiled beckoned Anya to follow her. She led her down the rows of unmade bunk beds, until they came to four near two large windows, letting the sun pour in. _

"_Dis is weah we sleep, us tree, me, Asia an Ringlets. We's de oldest so we gets da best bunks neah da big windows in da summah, so we can let a breeze in at night." Lefty told her, "I sleeps down heah, Ringlets is on top, an Asia's at dat top one ovah dere" _

"_There's one extra" Anya pointed out. _

"_Yeah, guests sleep dere sometimes, or Taylor when she tink Asia's been sneaking out too much. You can sleep dere, probably; dat is, if you stay" Anya nodded uneasily. _

"_Anyways, I don't really have anyting you'll like really, nothin really fancy," Lefty said, fishing through one of the small wooden dressers that was between the two bunk sets. The top of it was covered with a faded piece of lace, and on top of it there were numerous little odds and ends that Anya looked at; a pack of cigarettes, hair ribbons, wrinkled sashes, two books, and a very faded newspaper. _

"_How old is this?" Anya asked, picking it up. The front cover displayed the words 'Children's Crusade: Newsies Stop the World". Below it was a large picture of a group of boys, all gazing up at her with bemused looks on their faces, a few of which Anya recognized. _

"_Oh my God, is that Spot?" she asked. Lefty stopped rummaging through her drawers and looked at the photograph. She laughed out-loud when she saw it. _

"_Yeah, dats Spot all-right. July 17th, 1899. Newsies Strike. Dey really did stop da Woild," She told her. _

"_Were you in the Strike?" Anya asked. Lefty shook her head. _

"_We didn't sell, but we didn't get thrown in da refuge or talk one-on-one wid Pulitza himself eitha. Tayla wouldn't let us go to da rally." Anya nodded, remembering a year back when she'd heard about the strike, and suddenly she thought about Julienne. That was the only other time when she had been missing for a long amount of time. Anya unfolded the old newspaper, and too photographs fell out of it's pages, Lefty catching them before they hit the ground. _

"_What are dose?"Anya asked, before biting her lip. Lefty laughed. _

"_Listen to ya kid, ya haven't been wid us foah even a whole day an already ya talkin like us, it's kinda contagious, isn't it?" Anya laughed slightly, wondering what was going on. She couldn't help liking Lefty, and she couldn't help feeling very comfortable in the Lodging House bunk-room, even though it was so different from any other bedroom she had ever been in. She looked down at the two small pictures Lefty held in her hands. _

"_Well, dis one was taken last Christmas, at a party in Brooklyn. Look, dere's Spot wit his choice of da night, an dere's Asia wit her date from Harlem, dat's Ringlets and Mush, before dey started goin' out, you'll meet him at Tibby's, An dere's Blink, an me, an Race, and Jack an Taylor. I tink dey might have hooked up dat night" she added in a low whisper. _

"_And this one?" Anya asked, pointing to the second photo. _

"_Oh, Dentin took dis one a few month's back at Ringlets sixteenth birthday pahty" the picture was of Lefty with a grinning boys arms around her. _

"_Who is that?" _

"_Race, Racetrack Higgins" Lefty answered. _

"_Is he your…?" a small smile crossed Lefty's face at the question and Anya smiled. _

"_I get it" _

"_You'll prolly meet him at Tibby's too, if he ain't at da tracks"_

"_Mmhmm" _

"_Anyways," Lefty said, putting the pictures and the newspaper down, "dese should woik jus fine, dere clean, at least" she gave Anya a light green short-sleeved shirt and a pair of blue overalls. _

"_Tanks" Anya said, taking the clothes and walking towards the washroom. She heard Lefty's laughed echoing behind her as she turned on the shower and felt the lukewarm water rush over her. Her shower was quick; she assumed the warm water was in short supply, and she slipped into the clothes Lefty had given her. The shirt's fabric felt soft and worn in, and smelled slightly of lavender and vanilla, mixed with cigar smoke. She found the smell comforting. The overalls were too long and patched in several places, but she didn't care. For some strange reason she felt very at home, and didn't even think about what Ray and the other girls were doing back at The White Rose. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her red curls hung about her messily and she found a green ribbon to tie them back with. _

"_All set kid?" a voice behind her asked. Lefty had come out of a shower stall, dressed, with her long hair damp. Her brown pants were also much to long for her, even though they were held up by blue suspenders. She wore a tight white tank-top and kept her hair long, though she did tie a blue ribbon around her thin wrist. Her feet were bare, as Anya had noticed all the other girls' feet were, and she assumed that they didn't need them in the middle of the summer. _

"_Ya ready ta go?" Lefty asked. Anya nodded and the two girls walked down the old stairs and out into the late-morning sunshine. Lefty chatted with the other girls about the previous night and whatever they had been doing before they'd found Anya, who wasn't listening. She was gazing around at everything her life had forbidden her to see. She suddenly realized how little she had ever been outside the walls of The White Rose, and how much she had been missing. She had forgotten there was an entire world outside hers of French lace lingerie and dance rehearsals. Downtown Manhattan was dirty and the streets were packed with people, buying, selling, stealing, talking, laughing. The air smelled of smoke and soot and apple pies and flowers and a million things all mixed together. Anya laughed slightly, thinking of how appalled Aly would be on a street like this. Anya liked it, even though her feet were dirty and even though her faced wasn't caked with make-up. Even though Lefty and the other girls were poor and even though she didn't know what was going to happen to her at "Tibby's", or when she was going to get back to Ray and Aly and Desiree. She liked being outside in the hot summer air, not having too worry about how her hair looked or someone coming up to her with a whad of bills and hopes for a quickie in a back ally. _

"_Heah we are" Lefty's voice snapped her out of her thoughts as she was pulled into a busy restaurant. Anya looked around at the room that was crowded with boys, newsboys, she assumed; there were papers everywhere. As soon as they heard the bells on the door chime all their heads turned and most of them waved or smiled, throwing catcalls at Ringlets and especially Lefty, though Anya realized with amusement that several of the calls and whistles were directed at her. Someone at a large table to her left was yelling at them. _

"_K, befoah we go ovah dere, listen," Lefty said, "Da tall one in da back is Jack Kelly, or Cowboy, da Manhattan Newsie leada. He's da one dat'll be asking ya questions about las night" Anya nodded slowly and Taylor led them over to the large table crowded with boys and a few girls. _

"_Heya Jack, we's heah" she said. A boy with an eye-patch Anya had seen in one of Lefty pictures leapt up._

"_S'cuse me miss, but I don't tink we've been introduced" he said moving towards Anya and grasping her hand. Ringlets laughed and smacked his hand away. _

"_Anya, dis is Kid Blink, and dis is-" _

"_Mush Meyers, pleasure ta make your acquaintance" the curly-haired boy stood up and gave a slight bow, before pecking Ringlets on the cheek. She giggled girlishly and continued on. _

"_An dis is Race," at the mention of his name the boys head snapped up from the card game he had been en-grossed in. Anya expected another formal greeting, but instead the thin boy's dark eyes landed on Lefty as he stood up. _

"_Jesus Jackie, if you'd told me prettiest goil dis side a Joisy was comin I'd a put me best shoit" he said, smirking as he gave Lefty a kiss. Everyone groaned and Anya crossed her arms. _

"_Racetrack Higgins, I presume?" she asked. The kid pulled himself away from his glowing girlfriend and smiled at her, revealing a row of crooked teeth. _

"_Da one an only" he shook her hand and pulled Lefty onto his lap as he sat down. _

"_If ya evah need any tips how ta loose a bet, jus ask Race heah" Blink said, clamping a hand on Race's shoulder. Anya laughed as Ringlets told her all of the other boys names, finishing up with two younger boys named Snipeshooter and Boots, who both pulled their hats off and nodded respectfully at her, grinning from ear to ear. They all sat down and ordered a late breakfast, and there was no mention of the previous night until everyone heard the door open again. In walked Spot Conlon, making Anya jump a mile in her seat and several of the boys sitting near Jack stand up nervously. Spot walked over to the table quickly and spit-shook with Jack. _

"_Ok Jackie-boy, lets figuah out whad really happened las night" he said, standing even though a chair was being pulled up for him. Anya couldn't make herself stop looking at him-he seemed so different know from what he was like on his weekend visits. He seemed so powerful and controlling; he had been like that with her, a little bit, but not like this. She now understood about his "reputation". He hadn't looked at her yet until the table went silent and Jack spoke:_

"_A'right. It's about, what, eleven-thoity las night? Upper end Manhattan, betta paht a town, few blocks from da bridge. We're at Skips pahty in Midtown," he said, nodding towards Lefty, Race Ringlets, Mush, Blink and a few others, "in comes Boots, tellin us dat someone's been shot uptown, on our territory, an dat we's needs ta get everybody down dere before da bulls come. Dem five go ta Harlem ta get Asia, an when we get dere Coleman lyin dere, an Spot standin dere wit…I'm sorry, what's ya name again?" Jack stopped, lookin at Anya. _

"_Its…" she looked at Spot for a moment before answering, "Anya". He immediately looked down at her and raised an eyebrow, but Anya simply crossed her arms and nodded. _

"_Now Spot you say you was-"_

"_I was neahby" Spot said shortly. Race and Kid Blink both laughed quietly, while Anya tried to keep herself from blushing. _

"_I came out when I hoid da shot, an dere was Coleman, lyin in 'is blood, no sign of an weapons an nothin left by whoever did it." Spot told Jack, who nodded. _

"_A'right, now Miz Anya, you was dere when I came, an you knew Spot from a recent…encounter, I take it?" Jack asked as politely as he could. Anya was glad he was keeping things vague, and it looked like Spot was also. _

"_Yes. I was in a building neahby, an I hoid da shot too." She told them. She let the accent slip in, and, though she didn't do it on purpose, realized they would probably consider themselves on a more even level with them if she spoke like them. _

"_Ok Anya," Jack said, folding his hands, "you need ta tell me exactly what you saw, cause we really need ta figuah dis out" Anya nodded. _

"_Well, as soon as I hoid da shot, I ran to da window, which was lookin ovah da street" she said, "an I saw someone lyin in da middle a da street" _

"_Did you see anyone or anyting else?" Jack asked. _

"_Well…yeah, I…think so…" She said, her voice trailing off. Jack's face became very serious. _

"_Who did you see" he asked sullenly. _

"_I think I saw…a goil…" she responded, feeling very uneasy and not sure of what she was doing. She felt Spot's blue eyes staring down at her, but he made no move to stop her testimony. She felt the kid named Racetrack, who was sitting next to her, give her a little nudge. _

"_Go ahead kid, don' worry, Jackie ain't gonna bite ya" he whispered. Anya straightened up. _

"_I saw a goil, runnin away from da body, I tink she might a had a run in wit da guy…I'd hoid dem yellin befoah" Jack nodded. _

"_What did dis goil look like?" he asked. Anya shrugged, making certain she was being shady with the details. She was sure it had been Julienne, but she knew better than to give out too much information. As much as she was inclined to trust Jack and the others, she still wasn't sure what they were up to, or planning to do with the information she gave them. And, even though she didn't realize it then, she was concern for Julienne, and felt she had to protect her in a way, maybe just because she'd known her for so long, or maybe because she didn't want to betray her somehow. _

"_Well, I couldn't really see…she had light haih, I tink, dat's all I saw" she said. _

"_Light as in blonde?" Jack asked. Anya shrugged. Jack sat back. _

"_Ok Anya, dats all, tanks. Spot?" he said. He jerked his head towards the door, and Spot nodded. They left, and Anya sighed. _

"_Well, ya did good kid" a boy in the corner said. Anya smiled an Race patted her on the back. _

"_Welcome ta Manhattan kid" he said, smirking. Kid Blink started clapping and soon everyone else joined in, an Anya began to feel extremely relieved. _

"_Yeah, welcome to da Manhattan Newsies, best in da city" Mush said. _

"_Betta not let Conlon heah ya say dat" Skittery said. _

"_Ah screw Spot, we's got ourselves a new memba, an she's pretty too! Dis calls fa celebration! Drinks all around!" Blink shouted, and everyone cheered. Drinks were brought, much to Anya surprise, and everyone raised their glasses. _

"_Too-wait a minute, dis goil needs a proper name, whatta we's gonna call 'er?" Mush asked. Anya laughed, but Kid Blink reached across the table and pulled something out of the boy named Snipeshooter's pocket. It was a red crayon, which he had Race hold up to her hair. _

"_Almost exactly da same colah" he said. Blink grabbed the crayon. _

"_Crayola Crayon, in Red. Well, we can't call her Red, da Bronx already have a Red…how 'bout Crayola, Cray fa short? Ya like it kid?" he asked her. Anya wrinkled her nose a bit. _

"_Well, at least it's betta dan your name, so I guess I'll take it" she told him. Blink grinned and Race laughed. _

"_We're keeping dis one, finally, someone ta help me make fun a Blink" he said, putting his arms around her shoulders (the other was around Lefty), "Ta Crayola" everyone laughed and raised their glasses. _

"_Ta Crayola!" _


	10. Chapter X

_She had been living with the Manhattan newsies for less than two weeks, and already she felt like she'd lived their her whole life. She'd caught on to their lifestyle more quickly than any of them would have expected, and they never heard her speak about where she had been before or about going back there again. She had grown accustomed to turning around whenever she heard someone yell "Cray!". She didn't care that she had to wake up with the other girls at five-thirty, take a two second cold shower and go sell newspapers. She felt like everything was as it should be. She slept in the lower bunk she and Asia now shared. She and Lefty had become instant friends, as close as sisters it seemed, and they talked about everything together. She played tricks on Ringlets and Mush, and laughed about it with Blink and Race, who taught her how to play cards when he wasn't with Lefty at the tracks or at the poker hall. Taylor bossed her around and she fought with Asia about hair ribbons and dresses. Two of the younger newsies, Snipes and Boots, she had taken a particular liking to, and ran around the city with them, causing trouble like she was their age again. She had heard nothing about the night that seemed so many years ago, and she hadn't seen Julienne. She saw Spot periodically at Tibby's or in the Boys' Lodging House, talking with Jack or playing poker with Race, but they never spoke. Sometimes he would stare at her, the way you would stare at a person you'd never met before, but were interested in meeting, but couldn't talk to for some reason. Sometimes she wondered what he thought of her, but decided she really didn't care that much. _

_One afternoon they were all at Tibby's having lunch when Jack looked up from is conversation with Taylor. _

"_Lefty," he called across the table, "you've gotta come ovah ta da Bronx tonight ta see Bull wid me. He's getting a liddle touchy wid our territory an I've wanna keep 'is kids off our turf." At this Race's head snapped up from his poker game with Mush and put his arm around Lefty's shoulders. _

"_Sorry Jackie-boy, she's mine tonight. Wilson's havin a pokah pahty tonight an Lefty's comin wid me." _

"_Wilson's havin a pahty?" Blink asked, "Count me in. I'll love watchin Race beat Brooklyn's best pokah playah." Race smirked. _

"_Yeah, I love watchin me beat Brooklyn's best pokah playah too"_

"_Who's Brooklyn's best pokah playah?" Cray asked, her mouth half full with part of Asia's sandwich. _

"_Jimmie Wilson." Lefty told her, "he's one a Spot's best friends, an maybe da best gambler around dese part" at this Race cleared his throat loudly, "except for Race, of course." She smiled and let Race kiss her forehead gently. _

"_Well, I'm going." Mush said as he stole a look at Race's cards (who was busy sweet-talking Lefty), "any pahty in Brooklyn is a good pahty." _

"_You all can come" Race said loudly spreading his arms out as if they should all feel extremely privileged to be able to go, "'Cept you Skit. You're bad luck" _

_"So, what are pahties in Brooklyn usually like?" Cray asked as she lay on her stomach on Ringlets bunk, watching Lefty and Ringlets try to curl Asia's hair. The two girls past knowing glances and Ringlets started to giggle. Lefty rolled her eyes. _

"_Well, rememba dat pahty we went to las Friday in Midtown?" Cray nodded. "Well, think of da most out a control person dere. Dats da best behaved person at a pahty in Brooklyn" Asia gave a little snicker and reached for one of Lefty's cigarettes. _

"_Are you gonna play Lefty?" Cray asked as she lit a match. Lefty played cards at the Lodging House all the time, but Cray had never seen her play with Race or with any of the other guys. _

"_Lefty doesn't play wid Race" Ringlets hold her. _

"_Why?" Cray asked. _

"_She'll loose." Asia said, cringing as Lefty pulled on her hair a little bit harder than necessary. _

"_Have you evah seen Lefty loose at cards?" Ringlets asked. Asia shrugged an Cray shook her head, making her long red curls fall out of their loose ponytail. _

"_Lefty doesn't play cuz she's afraid she'll win, isn't dat right Lefty? Dat must be why yous nevah play wid Race" Ringlets asked. Lefty shrugged nonchalantly, but Cray caught a bit of color rising in her cheeks. Just then Taylor opened the door to the bunk room loudly, causing all four of them to jump and Ringlets to almost burn Asia's hair. _

"_Mush's downstaihs fa you Ringlets," she announced, "An he says everyone's almost ready ta go." Ringlets squealed with excitement and handed her curling iron over to Lefty before running into the washroom and examining herself in the mirror. She smoothed the wrinkles out of her light blue dress and played with her hair before Cray, Lefty, Asia and Taylor all yelled at her to get out. _

"_Cray, get da mirror" Asia ordered as Lefty let the last curl fall. Lefty did it, knowing Cray didn't take crap from Asia, who pulled down the front of her dress more and tried to blend in her dark eye-makeup. She smiled at herself vainly before getting up and flouncing out of the room. _

"_I dunno why she spends so much time on her clothes," Lefty said as she put away the curling irons and ran a brush through her smooth hair, "dey'll jus be comin off within da foist five minutes of da pahty" Cray laughed an pulled at her sleeve. Apparently everyone got a little more dressed up when they went to Brooklyn, because all of the girls were wearing dresses, plain as they were, but nice compared to the other things they wore. Crayola's was of a light green material, and would have fit her quite nicely save for the fact that it belonged to Ringlets and was much too long. It was a summery dress that Ringlets wore a lot, and had little short sleeves and a scoop neck. Cray knew better than to brush her curls, and let them hand down loose and wavy. She got up off the bed and went into the washroom, where Lefty was buttoning up the back of Taylor's yellow party dress. Lefty was in a plain white, summery dress with short little sleeves, and a light blue sash tied around her waist. _

"_K goils, lets go" Taylor said as the three of them left the room. Cray found it amusing that even though the girls spend extra time on their hair and dresses, she could still see their bare feet peeking out from under their skirts. They walked out into the early evening to find a large group of boys waiting out in the street. _

"_Race" Blink called as soon as Taylor shut the door, "ya good luck charm is heah" Race stood up from the game of craps he had been playing and ran ovah to the steps where Lefty was standing, picking her up and swinging her around off them. He kissed her as he set her down, and Jack smacked him on the back of the head. _

"_C'mon Tracks, lets go" he said as everyone walked off towards Brooklyn. Cray talked with Blink since they both were the only ones out of their friends without dates to walk with. _

"_So ya foist time at one a Wilson's pokah pahties, you gonna play?" he asked as they walked. _

"_I don't think so; Race jus taught me how ta play. Don't worry; I don't think I'm a big threat to any of yous. Are you?" she asked. Blink nodded. _

"_Mush an I usually start playin wid Jimmie, jus too warm him up a bit, while Race goes around an tawks ta everybody. Whoever wins wit us plays Race, an da games he plays can go on for hours"_

"_Have you ever won?" she asked. Blink laughed. _

"_Not against Jimmie Wilson" _

"_Against Race?" _

"_Maybe once or twice at blackjack when he wasn't payin attention, but nevah at pokah. Race is too damn good. He's a true card shark, ya know?" Cray nodded and they talked a bit more until they crossed the bridge into Brooklyn, and soon they were all standing in front of a run-down building near the docks, with a sign that simply said "Brooklyn Boys" over the door. Contrary to Manhattan, the Brooklyn Lodging House had a front porch, falling apart, and littered with guys and their girls, hanging all over each other. As they approached the building a tall guy who had been leaning against a window looked over the railing at the group, before grinning an sticking his head inside the open door. _

"_Manhattan's heah!" he yelled, "Get in heah Race, Wilson's gettin impatient." He said wid a smile as Race sauntered slowly up the front steps. _

"_Yeah, yeah, he can wait" the short Italian said as he spit-shook with the tall kid. Jack came up an shook hands too, before the kid nodded and Jack motioned for everyone to come inside. Cray walked through the door and stood in what she assumed to be the common room. It was similar to the Boys' Lodging House common room in Manhattan, except it seemed much older and ill-kept. There were people everywhere; lounging on whatever pieces of furniture they could find, drinking, smoking, whatever. Cray also noticed that there seemed to be a whole lot more girls hanging around in the Brooklyn Lodging House than she'd ever seen in Manhattan. They were all dressed similarly to Asia, and were throwing themselves at whatever boys they could find. The entire scene looked almost exactly like a typical night in the bar-room at Le Maison d a Blanc de Monte, making it the first time she'd really thought about it since her first night at the Girls' Lodging House. She felt slightly sick to her stomach as she thought about everyone one their, but snapped out of her thoughts as she heard someone's footsteps come down the stairs that led up to the second floor. She looked up and there was Spot, standing on the foot of the stairs talking to Jack and Lefty, while Race was preoccupied talking to other boys. He hadn't seen her yet. _

"_Heya Race!" Spot yelled, causing Race to walk over to him from where he had been in conversation with someone else. _

"_Heya Spot!" he replied brightly, spit-shaking with the Brooklyn leader, "Lovely evening, isn't it?" he smirked and Spot smacked him on the back of the head lightly. _

"_Dis ain't no time fa small tawk Higgins, git ovah dere an-" _

"_Teach Wilson how ta play pokah? Oh, don'tchya worry Spot, I will" Race put his arm around Lefty, who was talking to Taylor. _

"_C'mon doll, let's go see if Mush an Blink have got Jimmie warmed up yet, huh?" Lefty kissed his cheek and Race winked at Taylor, making her frown disapprovingly. Jack, Ringlets, Taylor and most of the other guys followed them, (Asia had already taken off), but Crayola stayed rooted in her place, watching Spot light a match against the wooden railing and light a cigarette. She straightened up her shoulders a bit and took a breath. _

"_Heya Spot" he jumped as soon as he heard her speak and looked right through her. _

"_Jesus Christ…whadda yous doin heah?" he asked, still looking jumpy. _

"_I'se heah for da pahty Spot" she replied coolly, almost enjoying his anxiousness. _

"_Whatta you tawkin about." He asked seriously, stepping down from the stairs and walking towards her, "Don't play dumb wid me Ali-Any-I'm sorry whatta you callin yaself dis week?" _

"_Call me Crayola Spot, Cray fa short" she told him sweetly. He frowned. _

"_A'right "Cray". Lets be serious for a moment heah, whatta ya doin heah, in da city, wid everybody?" he asked. She crossed her arms and looked up at him angrily. _

"_Ya mean what am I doin out in broad daylight, instead a locked up in some whorehouse where I belong?" she asked loudly, causing a few heads to turn. Spot winced and moved into a side room away from the front door. She followed him, still talking. _

"_Is dat what you mean Spot? Am I not allowed ta stay heah wid everybody? Maybe I like it heah. Maybe its da foist time in my life I've been treated like a real person, not like a…" she found she couldn't speak the word. She began to feel sick again. Spot seemed to soften up a bit. _

"_C'mon kid, dats not what I mean. I was jus surprised ta see ya, dat's all." _

"_Surprised?" she spat back, "ya nevah seemed surprised ta see me befoah. You know I've been around."_

"_You've been stayin wid Lefty an da udda goils at da Lodgin House den?" she nodded. _

"_Dey treat me nice Spot. You don't undastand what it's like, ta be who I was, or what I guess ta yous I still am, an have people act like it nevah happened. Dat's how dey treats me. Like I'm jus like dey are. It feels nice, an I don't wanna go back to where I was befoah, I wanna stay heah an…" she stopped, not knowing why she was telling him all of this. He had been silent throughout it, and now he watched her green eyes begin to tear up. _

"_I ain't your whore anymore Spot" she told him quietly, her voice trembling, "an I don't want you to treat me like I am. Can't we jus, I dunno, start ovah or something? Can't we pretend it nevah happened? Can't we jus-" she was cut off my Spot kissing her fiercely. She stopped moving; she had forgotten was it was like to be kissed by him. Eventually she put her arms around his neck, somewhat fighting her natural instincts to begin to take his clothes off. He held her there for a long while before letting her go, and she stared at him, quite breathless. _

"_How's dat for ya foist kiss wid Spot Conlon?" he asked, smirking slightly. _

"_How's dat for ya foist kiss wid Crayola…Carson?" she returned, taking a name she'd read in the paper that day. _

"_Well Crayola Carson," he began, tilting his head, "it was a'right, but I think you'll need a few more lessons" she leaned him, perhaps inviting him to teach her, but pulled back when the sounds of laughter erupted from the room next door. _

"_Dat'll be Race" Spot said, sighing, secretly knowing he should be in there, watching Jimmie play, although he'd much rather take Cray up to his room. She was already walking into the common room, where everyone was gathered around a small card table, watching Wilson and Racetrack play. There was a growing pile of money in the center of the table, and everyone had either pulled up a chair on their respectable side or was hovering to get a look at the game. Spot automatically had a seat brought up for him next to Wilson, and Cray decided it would be in her best interest to sit on the side of Manhattan next to Ringlets. She looked over at Race, his face expressionless, with Jack Kelly on his right and Lefty on his left. She sat very close to him gazing at his hand, her clear eyes looking up at Jimmie's face every once in a while. The game went on, round after round, both sides winning and loosing some, until, around eleven-thirty, Race sat back in his chair and ran a hand through his hair. _

"_K Wilson, lets see whatcha got" the sandy-haired boy next to Spot grinned broadly and laid down his five cards: a four, five, six, seven, and eight, all in diamonds. Applause and cheers erupted from the Brooklyn side; Spot was shaking hands with Wilson, guys were handing over money due to lost bets, drinks and cigarettes were being past around, while Manhattan stayed quite and sullen. Wilson finally sat back down, a happy grin on his face. Race sat there; face again expressionless, before, leaning foreword and looking at the cards his opponent had laid on the table. He nodded respectfully. _

"_Ya good Wilson, ya real good," he said, "so good in fact, I don't even think it would be right fa me ta show yous what I've got, but Lefty heah wants ta see, so, I'll put 'em down anyways." Wilson was already pulling the large pilled of coins and scattered dollars towards him and didn't see Race lay down his cards. Cray watched as the frown on Race's face turned into a delighted smile. _

"_Why Lefty, what's dis? An ace, a ten, a Jack, a Queen, a King-all of spades. Whatta dey call dis, again?" Race smirked at Lefty contentedly and she grinned. _

"_Well Race, from what I heah it's called-" _

"_A ROYAL FLUSH!" Blink yelled from the back of the Manhattan section. Wilson's jaw dropped as every single Manhattan newsies jumped out of their seats and erupted with cheers and applause. Cray laughed out loud; Race was not the least bit gracious about his triumph over Brooklyn; he reached across the table and scooped the money out of Wilson's arms, before throwing his arms around the glowing Lefty and twirling her around. Spot started swearing rapidly at Race, but no one heard. Cray watched them all holler and cheer for a while, before everyone settled down and the real party began. Everyone had a drink, and was walking around, talking to everyone, laughing, and music was coming from somewhere. Cray heard someone say that they thought there still might be some fireworks left over from the Fourth of July. She looked around to where Ringlets had been standing, but found that she was off with Mush, as was Asia, strange as it looked, with Blink. Race and Lefty were talking to Jack and Taylor. Cray pushed her way through the crowd of newsies, all of which were taller than she was, until she found Spot, standing with a group of his boys. She put a hand on his shoulder and he looked down at her, grinning and breaking away from his conversation. He took her hip and pulled her to him as he walked them both crookedly towards up the stairs and down the hall way, into a private room with a large bed and closed curtains. Spot shut the door and began to kiss her neck. _

"_So…ya foist time wit Spot Conlon" he remarked, unbuttoning the back of her dress. _

"_Don't disappoint me" she murmured back. _

_Lefty lay in her bunk and let the breeze coming in through the open window cool her face as she watched the lights around the city finally go out. A half and hour earlier she had walked through the door of the bunkroom with Taylor and Ringlets, at around one-thirty in the morning. Asia had not come home with them and Cray was no where to be found. Lefty had assumed she'd hooked up with some guy from Brooklyn and they'd see her at Tibby's the next day. For some reason Taylor hadn't fussed over her absence, and for some reason Taylor wasn't as overly protective of Cray as she was of her other girls. Maybe it was because she was older, or maybe because of her background, and Taylor thought she could take care of herself. Lefty hoped she was alright, but didn't let it worry her as the pale moonlight crept over her and she began to drift off into sleep, as Ringlets was on the bunk above her. She had just begun to slip out of consciousness when she heard someone tapping at the window. She frowned and sat up a bit, squinting to see Race, standing on the fire escape, sticking his head in the open window. _

"_Race!" she whispered and got out of bed, running to the window as quietly as possible, her thin nightgown trailing behind her. _

"_Bonjourno mia Princespessa!" he exclaimed, holding out his arms so she could run into them. She kissed his nose lightly and put her arms around his neck. _

"_What does that mean?" she whispered as her took her hand and pulled her out onto the fire escape with him. _

"_It's Italian" he said and he let her little feet stand on his shoes so they wouldn't have to touch the hard metal gratings. _

"_For what?" she asked as he held her waist close to him. _

"_Hello my Princess" he told her. She smiled gently and let him lean in and kiss her passionately as the summer night breeze sailed around them. _

"_You do know I love you, don't you?" he asked her gently. She let herself lean on his chest as he held her close. _

"_Yes, do you know that I love you, Racetrack Higgins?" he grinned. _

"_Your jus sayin dat so I'll ya out ta some place fancy wit all dat money I won tonight." She smiled softly and shook her head. _

"_No Race, I really do love you, I've loved you since the day I first saw you" she said, making the grin on his face turn into a little smile. _

"_Really?" _

"_Really. I love you Race, and I always will" _


	11. Chapter XI

Hey Everyone! Thanks so much you guys for reviewing--keep it up, I want to know what you think ;) LeftyH.

_About three months past, and fall had crept up upon the city, cooling it of its summer heat, making the wind a little colder, the air crisper, the leaves turn into beautiful reds and browns. The lazy days of summer were over, and everyone seemed a bit more serious, a bit quieter, a bit calmer. Some newsies that sold in the summer went away to school, a few from South Side moved away, but most everyone stayed. They woke up early, each morning colder, each day they could see their breath a little bit more. The girls had to wear shoes now, and every month a few nuns would come by and drop of what was called the "Rag Bag" at the Manhattan Girls' Lodging House. Taylor would first hand out shoes and shirts and pants and coats and anything warm to the younger girls. Whatever was left Ringlets, Cray, Lefty, and Taylor would take and use for themselves. Asia refused to rummage through the rag bag, and was thoroughly disappointed that the weather would not allow her to wear skimpy red dresses anymore, and she had to dress warmly and modestly like all the other girls. The cooler weather brought on a handful of problems that Cray found she'd never had to worry about before. Ringlets was the only one without a good pair of shoes, Asia had no coat, Lefty had a cough, and Taylor had to watch over them all. In late August Ringlets had cut Cray's long red hair so that it was more manageable. It was now wavy and fell to her shoulders, and was a source of envy for Asia. It was three months since Cray's first party in Brooklyn, her "first" meeting with Spot Conlon, but it had taken them less than three days to become the city's most talked-about couple. Unbeknownst to Cray, from the moment she'd first arrived in Manhattan she'd been the topic of conversation in newsie bunkrooms, poker halls, and so on. The fact that Taylor had allowed an ex-whore to come and be one of her girls was enough get people talking, and now she was Spot Conlon's latest. The two could be seen fooling around everywhere; they went to every party, played every in every poker game, and somehow she obtained the privilege of sitting next to him at most of his meetings with other newsie leaders. Spot seemed to be in Manhattan far more often now, making daily appearances at Tibby's, usually with his arms wrapped around his red-headed girlfriend. They'd sit down and talk for a while, but after about ten minutes Blink or Race would be shouting at them to get a room, if Race happened to be there, which he often wasn't. When Cray wasn't getting it on with Brooklyn in a back room somewhere, she usually liked to be out with Lefty, talking to her about everything that was on her mind, but lately she'd found that it was hard to do that. Lefty was becoming a mystery to the girls. Sometimes late at night one of the younger ones would have a nightmare and come running to Lefty's bunk, only to find it vacant, and a window open, and when morning came she still had not returned. Ringlets said that Mush was worried about Race, as was Jack and Blink, because he was always taking long walks late at night, and had forsaken poker games for his midnight adventures. Taylor said they were both going to catch pneumonia from being outside in the cold too much. Cray sometimes felt a little lonely, but the void inside of her was very quickly filled by Spot, who was making her feel like she'd never felt before. _

_One evening Cray was up in Spot's room at the Barracks, lying on his bed in her lacy lingerie, playing with his hair, when a crash was heard from somewhere downstairs. The two ignored it, assuming some of the boys were just having a fist fight over a card game or something, Cray had begun planting kissed down Spot's bare collarbone, when a shrill voice came from below. _

"_CONLON!!" it screamed, causing Cray to stop and Spot's head to jerk up from where is rested in her lap. _

"_CONLON!!" came the shriek again, and another crash was heard. Cursing, Spot fumbled with his pants as he stood up, not putting on a shirt and letting his suspenders hang down by his sides. Cray let her head flop down lazily on the pillow as he yanked the door open, angry at the disturbance. _

"_What da hell is goin on down heah? What---" Cray heard his shouting stop abruptly. She listened, and everything was quiet. She forced herself up, pulling one of Spot's shirts over her head, buttoning two buttons to cover her bulging chest. She walked into the hallway, where Spot was leaning over the wooden railing, looking downstairs into the common room. She could feel the hold air coming in; the door had been left open. Her bare feet touched the cold floor and she winced her way over to Spot, who stood there, motionless. She looked over the railing and saw about five of his boys, standing there, looking at a little blonde haired girl with dirty, torn clothes, standing in the middle of the room. There were a few broken beer bottles on the floor, and one of the boys was holding part of one. The girls face was raised, glaring up at Spot. Cray gasped and put covered her mouth with her hand. _

"_Julienne" she murmured. Spot's hands were gripping the railing as he stared down at her. Her cheek was gashed, as was her forehead, causing blood to run down her face. There was blood on her clothes, and Cray couldn't tell whether it was due to wounds on her arms and chest of excess blood from her angry face. Julienne hadn't looked at her yet, and Cray didn't know if she'd realized she was there yet. No one moved, no one made a motion to go help her as she swayed in her place where her feet were firmly planted. The color was draining from her face and her eyes began to flutter. She fell to the ground, unconscious, and Cray let out a little scream. She looked at Spot, who still hadn't moved. His hands were still gripping the railing, his knuckles white, his face hard. His boys looked up at their leader from downstairs, not knowing what to do with the bleeding little mass of filth on the ground before them. Finally Spot took a deep breath. _

"_Take her outside" he ordered coldly. Without hesitation three of the boys bent over and picked Julienne up, but it really only took one of them to carry her limp body. The kid held her at arms length as if she was some kind of disease he was going to catch. Cray watched them go, while the remaining two boys went to get some rags to clean her blood off the floor. Spot let go of the railing and went back on his room, slamming her door shut. Cray knew better than to follow him, and instead ran down the stair, avoiding the red stops on the floor, and poked her head out the front door where she could see the boys taking Julienne down the street and around the corner. She followed, after all, Spot's shirt did fall down to her knees and she was in Brooklyn anyways; no sight was too extreme. She peeked around a corner and into the back ally where the boys dropped Julienne lazily onto the filthy ground, one of the giving her stomach a kick, jut for good measure. Cray heard the little thing moan as the boys stalked off, and as soon as they were out of sight, she ran into the ally, shivering as her bare feet touched the dirty ground. She knelt down beside her and shook her shoulder gently, watching the girl wince and open her eyes, whipping away some of the blood. She squinted, trying to see who it was, as Cray gave a little smile. _

" _Julienne, it's-" _

"_Get away from me" she said with more severity than Cray would have expected from a girl who had just been soak and dropped in an allyway. She stood up suddenly, struggling slightly, but making it clear that she wanted no help. She swayed a bit, and Cray made a motion to steady her, but Julienne shook it away as she glanced around wildly, before looking out towards the barracks. _

"_God Damn bastahd, I'll have ta git it lata" she said as she staggered out of the ally. _

"_Julienne-" she called. _

"_Get away from me" was the angry shout. She didn't turn around, but kept walking, as fast as she could, and Cray made no motion to follow her. Instead, she did what was probably an even mores stupid choice: she went back into the barracks, up the stairs, and into Spot's room without knocking. She found Spot sitting on the bed, an empty shot glass in his hand. Cray could smell the scotch, the vodka, the hint of rum; the mixture that Spot threw together to make everything else go away. His eyes were bloodshot and watery as he massaged his temples as if he had a headache. _

"_Spot, how do you know Julienne?" Cray asked as she shut the door behind her. Spot looked up at her, frowning. _

"_Julienne? I dunno anyone named "Julienne"" he said sarcastically, standing up and putting his empty glass down on the table, pouring himself another drink. _

"_Gimme one-scotch. Straight." She demanded as she went over to the bed, plopping herself down on it. Spot turned around, only one drink in his hand, which he downed in one go. _

"_Den how do ya know da goil who jus came in heah?" she asked. Spot shook his head. _

"_Spot, whad is it? I know you know her, and so do I. How do you know her?" she asked again, her voice rising. This was the first time Spot had ever deliberately ignored her, and she didn't like it. He sighed, loudly, and went to get yet another drink. _

"_Spot" Cray said heatedly, sitting up, "you'd betta tell me how you know her" she didn't know why she cared so much, maybe because she didn't think that the same strange little girl she'd almost all her life could have any sort of history with the guy who was practically the center of her new life. Spot was the reason she forgot her old life, where Julienne belonged. In the past. Not here, this was Cray's world, and Julienne should have no part in it. _

"_Spot, tell me" she demanded. Spot looked over his shoulder at her, lazily, giving her a "who do you think you are?" look. This only angered her more. _

"_Spot stop it. Tell me how da hell you know Julienne, or else-" Spot suddenly gave a yell and threw his shot glass against the, making the shattered glass fragments fly everywhere. _

"_Or what Cray?" he shouted as he turned around, storming towards her, "you gonna soak me? Or else what?" Cray backed up against the bed. _

"_Spot, sorry, but-" _

"_GET OUT!!" he yelling in her face, throwing her her clothes. _

"_Spot-" _

"_Get out" he said now, in a quieter tone that frightened her much more than the shot glass or his yelling. She gathered up her clothes and moved quickly out the door that Spot had opened for her, and then slammed behind her. She felt the hot tears tickling in her eyes, threatening to run down her cheeks, but she didn't let them. She never did. She pulled off Spot's shirt and dropped it to the floor, not caring who was watching her standing there in her barely-there underwear. She pulled on her green skirt and shirt, pulling the shawl she borrowed from Lefty more closely over her shoulders as she slipped her feet into her shoes and went downstairs. None of the boys bothered to stare as she flew out the front door and slammed it behind her. They'd seen it before, if not with Cray, than one of Spot's past female acquaintances. She walked slowly down the street, not knowing where to go. She wanted a drink, badly, but Taylor didn't let the girls in if they were drunk, and she was cold and didn't feel like sleeping outside. A few minutes after she had crossed The Bridge into Manhattan, she heard someone calling her name behind her. She slowed her pace and turned around to see Lefty and Race walking towards her. _

"_Heya Cray" Race said as they caught up, "What are ya doin out heah, it's gettin late" he smirked and Lefty smiled at her. _

"_Shut up Race, you ain't me dad" Cray threw back at him. Race raised his eyebrows, looking mildly offended. _

"_Jesus Cray, what's gotten into you? He was jus joking" Lefty asked, frowning. Cray sighed, instantly feeling shame. _

"_Sorry you guys, I dunno, it's jus…" she stopped, not feeling like talking. Lefty realized something must have been wrong, but didn't say anything about it. Cray was grateful it was Lefty not Ringlets, who would have asked her repeatedly until she cracked, and giving her a sweet little love lecture when she did. _

"_So, weah ya been Cray, I haven't seen you since dis mornin" Lefty asked as they started walking. Cray shrugged. _

"_Brooklyn" she answered, hoping they wouldn't ask what she had been doing there. Race gave an annoyingly knowing smile to Lefty, who nodded. _

"_Conlon givin ya trouble Miz Crayola?" Race asked, putting his right arm lazily around Cray's shoulders; his left was on Lefty's. Cray groaned and messaged her temples, making Race laugh. _

"_K, point taken kid" they walked on fairly quietly, the wind getting colder and the sky darker as they went. They stopped at the Boy's Lodging House first, where Race and Lefty made Cray even more irritated by spending forever kissing on the steps, until Kloppman poked his head out the door and said if Race didn't come in he'd lock him out and make him climb the fire escape to get inside. Race gave Lefty one final kiss, smirked at Cray, and disappeared inside, only to appear waving at them moments later from the bunkroom window, until Blink and Mush pulled him inside. _

"_Lefty," Cray began as they began walking across the street to their lodging house, "does Race tell you everything?" _

"_Whatta ya mean, everything?" Lefty asked. _

"_I mean, about 'is past an people he knows an dat sort a stuff" Cray said. Lefty gave a little laugh. _

"_Yeah, I guess, I don't about his parents, he knows about mine, how we came ta be newsies, dat sort of thing, you mean?" Cray nodded, immediately thinking about how she had no idea if Spot even had parents. She wondered how Lefty would handle it if some girl came up to she and Race one day, like Julienne had done that evening. _

"_Whatsamatta kid, really, what's up wit you an Spot?" Lefty asked as they climbed up the steps of the Girls' Lodging House. Cray sat down and sighed, knowing she'd have to tell Lefty. She wanted to anyways. _

"_Well, I dunno Lefty, dere's dis goil, an she came into da Barracks when I was dere wit Spot, and she was soaked pretty bad, and she was all yellin at Spot and den she passes out, and he has her carried outside an dumped in a back ally." She explained it, leaving out the fact that she knew who the girl was. Lefty shrugged. _

"_I don't know what ta tell ya kid." She said, before coughing. Cray realized she was wearing her shawl, and took it off, placing it around her friend's thin shoulders. Lefty smiled, "Thanks, I was wondering weah dat went. Anyways, all I know is Spot's got quite a record when it comes ta goils, and he's always got ex-goilfriends comin in from outta nowhere, but I ain't nevah hoid a anyone of his goils getting soaked an dumped in an ally. Don't worry about it Cray, you'll probably nevah see her again" Cray almost smiled at her last remark, and she wished she'd told Lefty the whole truth. _

"_Tanks Lefty" she said instead, standing up and opening the door so they both could go inside. _


	12. Chapter XII

Thanks to l_ong and winding road _for informing me of the complication :)

Read and Enjoy--

_Ringlets lay in her bunk with her eyes wide open, gazing up at the ceiling. It was unusual for her to be the only one awake, but Mush had promised to spend the entire day with her tomorrow, and she couldn't stop think about him. She rolled over on her side and stared out the window across from her, not really able to see anything outside; it was too dark. She could hear Lefty shivering in the bunk beneath her, and sighed. It was early December, and somehow Lefty always managed to get sick. Ringlets sat up and climbed down from her bunk, pulling her quilt down with her. Her feet were bare and the floor was cold, but Ringlets didn't care as she bend down and looked at Lefty, wrapped up in her thin blanket, sleeping. Ringlets took her quilt and draped it over Lefty's thin body, smoothing back her hair a bit. She smiled and stood up again, yawning. She really should try to get some sleep, she thought to herself. She was just about to pull herself back up when she heard a voice from behind her. _

"_Hey, goily" someone whispered. Ringlets jump and turned around to see the window open and some small figure crouched down on the fire escape, poking it's head in the window. _

"_Tayla-" _

"_Shhhhhhh" the small person said, making Ringlets stop. She moved uncertainly towards the window, close enough to see that the person was a small boy, with a dirty face and very unclean clothes. _

"_Sorry kid, ya got da wrong place. Boys' Lodging House is across da street" she told him. The boy shook his head. _

"_So, dis is da Newsgoils' Lodgin' House den?" he asked. Ringlets nodded, again uneasy. _

"_Dere wouldn't happen to be anyone by da name of Anya Haht heah, would dere?" he asked, sticking his head even farther into the room, looking around. Ringlets frowned, trying to remember where she heard the name before. She looked over at the bunks behind her, and saw Cray roll over in her bed. Anya was Cray's real name. Ringlets turned back to the boy. _

"_We might, why do you ask?" da boy smiled. _

"_Tell her ta be at Black Adam's Tavern tomorrow at noon, or else she's gonna find herself in a lotta trouble" Ringlets raised her eyebrows and da kid nodded, before disappearing down the fire escape and into the night. Ringlets went back to bed, not wanting to wake up Cray and tell her message now. She decided to wait until morning. _

_When morning did come, it came with the first snowfall of the year, causing a string of complaints from all of the girls. Selling papes in the snow was not one of their favourite activities. Cray woke up to the sound of Taylor and Asia's loud argument over the high heeled shoes that Asia wanted do wear, even though the streets were thickly blanketed with snow. She wandered into the washroom, to find that Taylor had cut down shower time to one and a half minutes, in order to save hot water. The water, she found, was cold anyways, and after her shower to did her best to dry her hair and pile on layer after layer of clothing. She was sitting on the counter next to one of the sinks in the washroom, having Lefty braid her hair, when Ringlets came in with some warm bread she'd managed to find somewhere. She and Taylor went about handing them out to all the girls. _

"_Good morning, aren't we looking lovely dis morning?" she said cheerfully, handing them each a small piece of bread. They talked for a few minutes, before Taylor yelled at her to move on. Ringlets smiled and began to walk away, before coming back quickly. _

"_Cray, I almost forgot, I've got a message fa yous" she said. _

"_Whatta ya mean?" Cray asked, moving her head slightly so Lefty could get a better grip on her hair. _

"_Dis kid came by las night, real late, and asked for Anya." Cray's face immediately got sullen, causing Ringlets to loose her overly-chipper attitude. _

"_What did he say?" Cray asked seriously. _

"_I dunno really," Ringlets said, sensing that this was not going to be good news of any sort for Cray, "Something about you havin ta go to Black Andrew's Tavern or something at noon, I don't really remember, it was pretty late-" _

"_Black Adam's" _

"_What?" Ringlets asked. _

"_Black Adam's Tavern, dat's what it's called." Cray said. Ringlets shrugged and went on giving out her bread. _

"_What time was it Ringlets?" Cray called after her. _

"_Oh, noon, I think" she said. Cray sighed and she noticed Lefty had stopped braiding her hair. _

"_What?" Cray asked looking at Lefty's ashen face, "What's wrong? You don't have to go" Lefty shook her head. _

"_I know where dat is" she said. _

"_You know where what is, Black Adam's?" _

"_Yeah" _

"_Good fa you Lefty," Cray said sarcastically, half laughing. She hopped down off the counter and sighed, looking at her hair._

"_My mother worked dere" Cray stopped admiring herself in the mirror. _

"_What?" she asked softly, looking at her friend. _

"_My mother used to work dere" she repeated. Cray suddenly felt strange, sort of like how she had felt when she'd found out Julienne knew Spot. _

"_Does, does she still, I mean, does she still work dere-" _

"_No. She's dead" Lefty said quickly. Cray nodded and Lefty slowly began to put a few things away. _

"_Den she was, your mother was a-" _

"_Yes" Lefty answered softly. Cray touched her hand, making Lefty flinch. _

"_Mine was too" she said quietly. Lefty turned and looked at her, her eyes moist with tears that hadn't yet fallen. _

"_She used to…bring me dere, sometimes, when I was real little." Cray nodded. "Dere was dis room, upstairs, she used to lock me in. She thought I didn't know what was goin on, but I could hear everything. I could even hear her skirts hit da floor when dey took dem off her. I don't know why she brought me," the tears were now flowing freely down Lefty's face and her voice shook as she spoke, "maybe to hide me from him, but he always found me, no matter weah I went, an…" she trailed off and unbuttoned her shirt a bit to reveal a scar on her collarbone. Cray gasped a bit, and put her arms around Lefty, feeling her own eyes begin to well up with tears. _

"_Christmas Eve. Broken champagne glass. I was four" Lefty said as her small body shook. Cray didn't know why she was crying too. Maybe just the realization that she wasn't the only one who had come from a bad background. She had always assumed that the girls were fairly innocent, with the exception of Asia, and that maybe they'd all come from the orphanage or something. It had never occurred to her that their parents were abusive too, that their parents didn't love them too, or had to sell themselves to feed them, like her mother had. Maybe Lefty and she weren't all that different, except that Lefty hadn't taken up her mother's profession. Cray suddenly felt a great deal more respect for Lefty, and felt a lot less for herself. She had never before thought about herself as being a whore, even when she was one. For some reason she had just thought of it as a job, no different than a shopkeeper or a newsie. Ray had always taught them never to be ashamed of who they were or what they did. They were born into that life, and it was wrong to walk away from what you were born to do. It was just another way to get food on the table. Cray had never though what she did might have been wrong, and now she looked back on it with disgust. She didn't want to go to Black Adam's that afternoon, she didn't know what would happen if she went. On the other hand, if some street kid knew how to find her, Ray probably could to, and she didn't know what he would do to her if she didn't show. She was his leading lady, after all. Cray let go of Lefty, and realized they were the only ones left in the bunkroom. _

"_Lefty, would you go wit me dis aftanoon?" she knew it was a lot to ask, but she also didn't want to go alone. Lefty nodded and wiped the tears from her eyes, and they both pulled on their coats, scarves, and hats, and went outside. _

_At around eleven-thirty, after they had sold all of their papes, Lefty and Cray stopped by Tibby's, to get something to eat and for Lefty to tell Race she wasn't going to be around that afternoon. As Lefty talked with everyone, Cray looked around the room for Spot. She hadn't seen much of him since the evening in Brooklyn with Julienne, with the exception of a few occasions in the Boys' Lodging House. She had come into the common room where he had been talking with Jack, and asked him if she could talk to him, privately. He had shaken his head and put on his hat, saying he was busy and had to go back to Brooklyn. Now she didn't see him, and let Lefty get one more kiss from Race before she pulled her out the door. Their walk wasn't too long; the tavern was in the same part of town Le Maison du a Blanc de Monte, a few blocks away from The Bridge. It was bigger than your average bar, and all of the windows on the outside were either covered with thick curtains or made with fogged glass so there was no way anyone on the street could look inside and see what was going on. It was far less grand than The Home of the White Rose, but you could get the same things there: a girl and a beer, for a lot less. The walls and floors were not carpeted, and the lingerie was not imported from France or Italy. Black Adam's was just your run-of-the-mill, American whorehouse. Cray and Lefty stood outside for a moment, Lefty staring straight ahead at the building with glaze eyes, and Cray wondering what sort of fate would await her when she opened the door. Eventually it was Cray who sighed and pushed open the faded black door, and Lefty followed her inside. At once they found themselves in a smoke-filled room, the air heavy with the sent of gin, men everywhere, whores everywhere. The two girls sat down at one of the only vacant little tables in the corner, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. After a few minutes the bartender came over, a dishtowel and a wet beer mug in his hands. _

"_What'll it be" he asked, his question almost sounding mechanical. Lefty, until now, had been gazing out one of the small windows, so the bartender could not see her face. At the sound of his voice her head turned and looked at him, and neither of them spoke. She looked up at him and he down at her, and she saw Lefty's face get sickeningly white. Finally the bartender shook his head smiled. _

"_Ya know, if I didn't know any betta I'd saw you was a daughter a-nah, dat was a long time ago…" Cray watched Lefty's body relax with relief, and the bartender clear his throat. _

"_Anyways, what'll it be goils?" he asked. Lefty shook her head and Cray said no thank you, but a sultry voice behind the bartender spoke up. _

"_I'll have a Bloody Mary, no ice, and Desiree will have a Martini, dry, thanks Joe" The man moved over to reveal Aly and Desiree standing there, Aly with a horrible smirk on her face, and Desiree standing behind her, looking slightly intimidated. Cray was surprised: they looked slightly more modest than the girls walking around the room who worked there. It was odd for a couple of whores from The Home of the White Rose to be dressed so modestly. _

"_Well Aly, Black Adam's. Isn't dat a bit of a step down fa you? Or did Ray finally realize you were really jus a two cent whore and dat you couldn't fill in fa me?" Aly looked at Cray very coolly, and took a drag from her cigarette. _

"_Isn't that a bit rich for someone who's spent that past six months working selling newspapers?" she shot back. Desiree put a hand on Aly's arm. _

"_That's enough. Anya," she began gently, taking a seat at her table, "We've come for your own good" _

"_My own good?" Cray asked, eyebrows raised. _

"_Yes, your own good. Listen, since you left," _

"_I've replaced you" Aly interrupted. Desiree frowned _

"_I was going to tell her how business has gone way down, is that your explanation, Aly?" Aly didn't say anything. "Anyways, it has. I don't know if it was you leaving, or the shooting outside that night or what, but everything's gone downhill. We've had to sell all of the furniture from your room, all your clothes, your jewellery, even the carpets and curtains, everything." Cray suddenly realized how much she had enjoyed living in the nicest room in the building. _

"_Dat isn't my problem. I ain't workin dere anymoah" she said. _

"_According to Ray you are, and you know the penalty for a girl who runs away" Cray suddenly felt a lump in her throat, remembering the time she was ten and one of the older girls got pregnant and tried to run away. Ray had her hunted down and brought back, then he beat her until she had a miscarriage and shot her like a dog. She shivered noticeably, and Aly snorted. _

"_You aren't the only one Ray's after" Desiree said. _

"_Oh? Who else?" Cray asked. _

"_Julienne," Cray shivered again, "remember how before you left, he told us the first one to find her got paid?" Cray nodded. _

"_He's offered about three hundred dollars to any girl who sees her, and he's got his whole team out around the whole city, looking for her. They found her, once, last month, but they didn't manage to catch her."_

"_Jesus Christ" Cray whispered. _

"_Listen, I don't know why he wants to find her so bad, but I do know he's got his guys out looking for her, and I'm pretty sure they know about your leaving too" Desiree explained. _

"_What, he hasn't placed a reward fa me too, has he?" Cray asked, suddenly feeling panicked. _

"_No, not yet at least. I'm jus warning you. Don't go into any dark alleys, and watch out for Ray's guys. Oh, and if you ever see Julienne, tell her she's got to get out of here, out of the city, tell her everyone's out to get her" Cray nodded. _

"_Thanks Desiree" she said, standing up and hugging her awkwardly. She was still blown over from the shock that the girl hadn't begged her to come back, or hadn't chided her for leaving. _

"_I've really missed you, you know" Desiree said, once they had let go of each other. Cray smiled half-heartedly, realizing what a brave thing Desiree had done. She smiled and began to walk away, when Cray called to her. _

"_Desiree," she turned around, "How'd you find me anyways" Desiree smiled. _

"_I've got a few guys of my own" was her reply. Cray smiled and waved goodbye. She looked across the table to where Lefty sat, silent through all that had just happened, looking very tired. Cray sighed and stood up, putting on her hat. _

"_You wanna get some coffee or sometin?" she asked. Lefty shook her head. _

"_I think I've had enough for one day." Was her reply, one that Cray didn't argue with. They walked out of the bar and out into the cold street. Just as they came out they looked down the road to see Race and Blink walking towards them. Cray caught the soft smile on Lefty's face as they approached. _

"_Gee Race, I would think da tracks would be closed when it snowed." She said. Blink nodded. _

"_Dey is, we was at da pokah hall" he said. _

"_Heya doll!" Race exclaimed when we say Lefty standing there, her arms hugging herself. Race made it so she didn't have to and kissed her forehead, "you ok sweetheart? Ya look like ya jus saw a ghost" he remarked, still smiling down at her. Lefty frowned and rested her head against his chest. _

"_Take me home" she whispered, closing her eyes. Race suddenly became very serious. He turned around and faced Blink and Cray, still holding Lefty close to him. _

"_I think I'm gonna skip da show Blink" he said. Blink looked disappointed but nodded, and Cray watched Race put his arm around Lefty's shoulders and begin to walk her back in the direction of the Lodging House. _

"_Well, I guess it's jus you an me Cray" Blink said, stuffing his hands into his pockets. _

"_Yeah" after Cray spoke they both stood there in an awkward silence for a few moments, before Cray spoke up. _

"_Listen Blink, I know I probably ain't as fun as Race, but I see no reason why I can't go ta da show wit yous." Blink's face lit up. _

"_Really? Dat'd be great Cray" she smiled and linked arms with him, making a face like she was some stuffy rich lady from London. They both broke out in laughter as they walked off towards Medda's. _

_Race held her frail body close to his as she cried into his chest. He didn't fully understand it, just like he had never fully understood the opposite sex and would never fully understand her, but he tried his best. He had asked her what she did that day, and why she looked so tired as soon as they'd sat down on his bunk, and as soon as he did her beautiful eyes welled up with tears that poured down her face, and now drenched his shirt. It frightened him a little bit; he had never seen Lefty like this before. Sure, she was a girl and entitled to get upset over little things, but never like this. He decided not to force whatever was making her cry so hard out of her, and kept his mouth shut, smoothing her hair and rocking her back and forth slowly, until she stopped, and everything about her was still. Then, in an unusually clam voice she began to speak, about how Cray had wanted her to go to the little whorehouse/bar with her, and by the time she got to the part about her mother working there, and her father beating them both, and the things she was forced to see and do at such a young age, she had started to cry all over again, and it made him sick to his stomach because he knew that there is no way to recover from something like that. He wanted to tell her his story, about how his father killed his mother too, about how he saw things he never should have seen, but somehow he knew that this was her time, and that hearing another sad story wouldn't help her. In the end he spoke a few sweet words to her, and she cried a little bit more, and before he knew it she had cried herself to sleep in his arms. He looked outside, surprised to find that it had turned dark, and sighed, knowing Kloppman would kill him if he let her stay with him all night. _

_Jack practically skipped up the front steps of the Lodging House, twirling his cowboy hat around on one finger, thinking about his day. He felt like he was floating on air; he'd made the most money hat morning he'd made all month, and Taylor had just kissed him down at the pier in Midtown. He walked into the Lodging House common room to find it filled with his boys, who all stood up and greeted him happily when he came in. He stood there joking around with Blink, making fun of Mush, when someone's footsteps were heard on the stairs, slowly making their way down. He looked up to see Racetrack, walking very slowly down the stairs, Lefty all wrapped up in his arms, fast asleep. Everyone stopped talking and looked at Race curiously. Jack, who hadn't seen his friend all day, broke the silence. _

"_Heya Ra-" _

"_Sshhh" was the quiet reply from Race, who didn't take his eyes off Lefty. He pushed the front door open with his back, walking out into the snowy December air with no coat, walking across the street to the Girls' Lodging House. Jack, Blink, and Mush all watched him go from the doorway, Jack wishing Race would just act like himself again. He didn't seem to be as cynical as he usually was, and Jack missed spending time with him. Race had changed so much in such a short period of time, and Jack blamed it mostly on Lefty. _

_Taylor was standing in the washroom, teaching three of the younger girls how to French-braid their hair, when Asia walked in. _

"_Taylah, I thought ya had a no-boys policy in da bunkroom" she said, placing one hand on her hip. _

"_I do" Taylor said, still braiding. _

"_Den how come Race is heah?" Taylor stopped and groaned, picking up her long skirts and walking into the bunkroom, and sure enough, there was Race, lying the sleeping Lefty down on her bunk. _

"_Racetrack Higgins, you know very well dat-" _

"_Shut up Taylah, can't ya see she's sleepin?" he said over her yelling, looking at her like she'd done something awful. Taylor glared at him, not liking being talked back to, especially by Race, whom she did not have a very high opinion of. _

"_Race, it's gettin' late, why don't ya go home," Ringlets said, coming up to him and putting a hand on his shoulder gently, "and give Mush a kiss fa me" Race grinned. _

"_Sure Ringlets, but I don't tink it'll mean da same ting comin from me" he bent down and kissed Lefty one las time, before winking at Taylor and walking out of the door. _


	13. Chapter XIII

_ A week past, and Cray had not heard anything about Julienne and had not seen any of Ray's guys out on the street, but she still stayed wary. She suddenly found herself sharing a bunk with two of the smaller girls in the Lodging House, because somehow Christmastime brought in a lot of new arrivals to the newsies. Jack's friend David had come down to visit from his boarding school upstate, and various out-of-towners that were friends with the newsies dropped by daily. Cray soon discovered that Christmas with the Manhattan newsies what a lot different than Christmas at Le Maison du a Blanc de Monte. Ray had set up a system over the holidays that made it possible for men to actually "buy" the girls as gifts for their friends, just for a night or so. Cray remembered how she, Desiree, and Aly, the girls "purchased" the most often, would get dressed up in red corsets with a white fluffy trim and a bow on their heads, step into a giant gift box that was carried down the grand staircase by four of the younger girls, and pop out of it with ribbons and streamers flying everywhere. Christmas Eve was probably the most successful night of the year for them. At the Lodging House, Cray discovered Christmas was looked upon with a different attitude. Wreaths, garlands, holly and ivy were everywhere, around the bunks, upon the mantle of the fireplace, twisted around the staircase railing. Ringlets decided that giant red bows had to be in every room, and the Christmas tree in the Boys' common room touched the ceiling. One evening, about five days before Christmas, everyone was in the Boys' Lodging House, decorating the tree and talking and playing cards, when Taylor and Jack both stood up. _

"_Ok guys, settle down, jus a liddle announcement" Jack said, Taylor giving everyone a shut-up-my-boyfriend-is-talking look, "we've gotta staht clearing some space fa da Christmas pahty, an-" cheers cut him off, and Cray clapped along with everyone, even though she didn't know why. _

"_We already know who's comin, an it's prolly gonna be around eighty to one hundred," Taylor explained, "an few things are gonna be different dis yeah. Foist of all, da bunkroom is gonna be locked da whole time, Queens ain't comin, an no one can play cahds wit Race, because it ain't faih ta loose all ya money on Christmas Eve" everyone laughed at this and Race stood up and said "But it's me favourite paht a Christmas, takin all da money you guys were gonna use ta get presents, an buyin stuff fa myself!" Taylor made him sit down, and then was bombarded with complaints about how the bunkroom would be closed. Cray looked over at Ringlets, who was sitting on the couch next to her. _

"_So, why ain't da Christmas pahty gonna be held in Brooklyn? All da other big pahties are" she asked. _

"_Yeah, Brooklyn does have a thing fa throwin da best pahties, but Manhattan's always had the Christmas pahty, it's our thing. Everyone comes though, from all ovah, as far as East Side an Coney Island. Medda even lets us borrow dresses, it's dat important" Ringlets beamed with excitement, and Cray remembered the red-headed woman all in pink that she went to see at Irving Hall with Kid link the week before. She wondered how the newsgirls knew her. Two days later she found out that she knew Jack, and was sort of the aunt to all of the newsies. That afternoon nearly all of the Manhattan newsgirls that would be attending the party left lunch early and went into Medda's huge dressing room, and spent hours trying on dresses and shoes and jewellery and anything else you could imagine. Cray, who spend most of her life wearing overly jewelled and low-cut dresses, went in search of something she had never won before: something classy. Medda told her she simply had to have something green, to match her eyes, and brought out dresses of the most up-to-date fashion, all resembling the dresses she wore every Saturday night at The Home of the White Rose. It wasn't until after almost all the other girls had left, and only Ringlets and Lefty had agreed to stay there with her. _

"_Well, I think that's all I have," Medda said tiredly, standing next to her huge wardrobe, "the only one left is this" she said, pulling out the dark green skirt of a dress Cray hadn't seen. _

"_Can I see it?" she asked. Medda shrugged, obviously not thinking the dress was anything to be marvelled at, but pulled out the dress anyways. Cray heard Ringlets gasp and Lefty sigh as the dress was help up. It was of a very dark green colour, with sleeves that barley covered the shoulders, a large scoop in the front and an even larger one in the back. The neck, sleeves, back, and chest area were all lined with red lace, making it perfect for Christmas. Cray knew it would be a little to long for her, but the dress was supposed to have a little train in the back, and she was relieved to find it had not high slit going up her thigh. She wanted to wear a beautiful, elegant dress for the party, not a flashy slutty one. She didn't want to be reminded. _

"_Oh Cray, its lovely" she heard Lefty say from behind her, and Ringlets sighed as she ran her hands over the silky green fabric. _

"_I'm afraid you won't have time to try it on, I have to go onstage in about a minute," Medda said apologetically. Cray nodded. _

"_It's alright, I'll take it anyways." She said, having a feeling it would fit fine. She had grown up trying on dresses, and had adapted a talent for knowing what would fit her and what would wouldn't. Medda shrugged but gave the dress to Lefty, who folded it carefully and put it in a large box that also had both her and Ringlets dress in it. _

"_Thanks Medda" Lefty said, putting her coat and scarf. _

"_Of course." Medda said, smiling and giving her a kiss, "I know al of you will look as beautiful as your dresses are" all three of them hugged and thanked her, before putting on their hats and mittens and stepping outside into the early evening. _

_At seven o'clock on Christmas Eve, the Girls' Lodging House was not a place you wanted to be. The boys would be arriving in an hour, and there was utter chaos. Dresses, petticoats, gloves and hair ribbons were everywhere, the smell of make-up and perfume lingered in the air, and every girl who was attending was running around, complaining to poor Taylor about their missing shoes, their lack of eyeliner, and the ones who Taylor had decided were too young to go were begging her to stay up. Cray found herself extremely grateful that she shared one of the four elite bunks in the corner of the room, away from the rows of other ones. Not only was it nice to sleep in a set of bunk with no little girls sleeping above you and waking you up at night, and not to mention easy access to the fire-escape, but tonight Asia and Ringlets had decided to turn their private little corner into their own four-person dressing room. Earlier that evening, around six when all the madness began, Lefty and Cray had gone out to pick up some last minute blush from Medda, and had returned to find that Ringlets and Asia had removed all of the sheets and blankets from their bunks and strung them up around their little corner to make a little dressing room, in which they managed to fit a, old, cracked full-length mirror, a side table to put make-up on, and a chair where you could sit to get your hair done. _

"_Nice, ain't it?" Ringlets had asked when they'd come back, "it was all Asia's idea too" she said, smiling at Asia, who was sitting in the chair, already putting on foundation. _

"_What, you think I'm gonna let some seven yeah old goil watch me get ready? All my beauty secrets will be stolen" she said, brushing on powder all over her face, "speakin of beauty secrets, did you get dat blush?" Lefty handed it over and Ringlets shut the sheet behind them so no one could peek in. _

"_Does Taylah know about dis?" Lefty asked as she pulled off her coat. _

"_She will soon enough, an den she'll be mad at us fa not helpin her wit da younga ones, so we should try to get as ready as possible befoah she discovers we're not out dere" Cray and Lefty nodded, and quickly slipped off their day-clothes and put on their bathrobes, which Asia and Ringlets were already wearing. Cray played with her hair a bit, not really knowing what to do with it, while Asia did the rest of her make-up and Lefty fixed Ringlets long, curly hair so that the front pieces were pulled back with a few glittery clips and braids, while the rest was left to fall down her back. _

"_K, I'm done, who's next for make-up?" Asia said, standing up, facing them. Lefty let out a laugh and shook her head at her. Cray knew why she was; Asia just looked so Asia-ish. Her eyes were black, black eyeshadow, black eyeliner; heaps of black mascara that even made her brown eyes look black. Her cheeks were swept with too much blush, and her lips were covered with her trademark blood red lipstick that had left kiss-marks on so many guys' faces. She sat on one off the bunk so that Lefty could curl her hair, and Cray sat down on the chair. She looked at the table of make-up in front of her, realizing that she hadn't really worn any since the night the left The Home of the White Rose. She remembered the torture her skin must have gone through, every night being caked with five inches worth of make-up, and all of the times it had been spread across her sheets. She didn't want to look like a sexy whore tonight, she just wanted to look beautiful, the soft, natural beauty that she had never heard of or seen until she'd met Lefty. She carefully brushed on a small amount of powder, then some rosy-red blush that she knew would match the lace on her dress perfectly, and a little dark eyeshadow with a hint of glitter that made her eyes sparkle. She put on one coat of mascara, and lipstick that matched the blush. She smiled, feeling light and fresh, and turned to look at Lefty, busy turning Asia's stick-straight hair into spirals. _

"_Well?" she asked, sceptically. Lefty smiled. _

"_You look beautiful Cray." She said. Ringlets nodded and offered to do her hair. Cray agreed and took over Asia's hair for Lefty, so she could do her make-up, and let Ringlets stand behind her and arrange her red curls. When she finished half of it was held up with a clip, and the rest fell down in neat curls. _

"_I'll finish up her haih fa you" Lefty said, standing up and taking the curling iron out of Cray's hands. Cray looked up at her, realizing that if Lefty had worked with her at Le Maison du a Blanc de Monte, she would have been the most popular whore there. She wore very little make-up, no eyeliner, no blush, for her cheeks had a natural rosy tint to them, only a bit of gold, glittery eyeshadow that made her crystal blue eyes even more captivating. Her lipstick was a scarlet red that made her look slightly dangerous and seductive, and she assumed the colour must match her dress, which Cray realized she hadn't seen. Lefty finished curling Asia's hair while Ringlets went and got all four of their dresses. When she came back, Cray was surprised to see that she also carried four lacy corsets. Unlike she, Desiree, and Aly, who wore corsets daily, Cray had always assumed to newsgirls were too poor to afford them, and also that Taylor didn't think it was necessary for a bunch of street kids to wear something of that sophistication. Even Asia stuck to ordinary push-up bras. But Cray quickly saw that it was obvious that they'd worn them before, because they went about putting them on with no trouble, except for the fact that Asia made both Lefty and Ringlets pull the strings on hers, so her breasts practically touched her chin. Cray did Ringlets, who, ever the picture of modesty, wanted hers relatively loose, so that she had as little cleavage as possibility. _

"_C'mon Ringlets, we all know you wanna show 'em off" Asia said as she laced up Lefty's corset. _

"_There are other ways of makin yaself attractive Asia" Ringlets said, blushing. _

"_Don't listen to her," Lefty told her, "you look lovely" Ringlets smiled and Cray turned to that Ringlets could do her corset. As she did she watched Lefty pulling Asia's curls away from her face with a red ribbon, knowing Aly would have been envious of Lefty's tiny waist, which she was sure Race could put both his hands around quite easily. Asia changed into her dress first, then Ringlets, and after her Cray. As she stepped into the dress and pulled it up, she silently thanked her years spent in the small dressing room of the dress boutique next to The Home of the White Rose, trying on countless dresses, giving her her talent for picking out the right size and shape. The green dress fit perfectly, the scoop not to low, but the large scoop displaying her bare back made it a bit daring. The little sleeves wouldn't have covered her shoulders, but the lace trim gave it a little bit extra. The red and dark green was perfect for a Christmas party, and it had a bit of extra length in the back, but not so much that Cray would trip on it, which was sometimes and issue because of her height. She buttoned up the back and but on a pair of emerald earrings that Medda had lent her, and a matching necklace. She slipped on a pair of high-heeled black shoes and made her curls a bit neater, before stepping outside. Only Lefty was in their little dressing room, fixing her hair. _

"_You'd betta get out dere," she told Cray, "Taylor jus discovered we've been missing fa da past hour." Cray groaned and went outside into the blur of girls rushing around doing last minute hair and make-up checks, walking around until she saw Ringlets and Asia standing in the middle of the washroom, being yelled at by Taylor. She stayed back a bit, waiting until Taylor calmed down, and examined their dresses. Asia looked like she always did, except about ten times more extreme. Her dress was as low cut as they came, blood red, and fell just above her knees, revealing her fishnet stocking and black stiletto heels. Cray felt the sudden urge to tell her she was going to the wrong kind of party. Ringlets modesty made up for Asia's lack-there-of, her dresses being of a dark blue colour with white beads lining the neck and sleeves. It fell to the ground and made her look pretty and sweet. Taylor's dress was not her usual yellow, but a dark purple shade with an off the shoulder neck and little sleeves. There was a yellow ribbon around her waist that matched the one that held her hair in a high ponytail, all of her natural wavy, long hair cascading down her back. It also covered her shoes, as was expected of all dresses that didn't belong to easy women or Asia. _

"_Anyways goils, da boys are downstaihs, and if ya look outside you can see dat dey've already started ta let people into da Lodging House" at this moment Cray walked over, guessing that Taylor had finished her lecture. Ringlets sighed when she saw the dress, and Taylor told her she looked very nice. _

"_Well, if dere are boys downstaihs, den I'm leavin" Asia said, flouncing off down the stairs without letting Taylor react. Ringlets looked at her, nearly bouncing up and down with excitement. _

"_Alright Ringlets, you can go too" she said. Ringlets squealed and ran down stairs, nearly tripping over her dress. _

"_You can go too Cray" Taylor told her, looking at herself in the mirror and putting on her lipstick. _

"_I'm gonna wait fa Lefty" Cray said. Taylor nodded. _

"_In dat case, I'm goin downstaihs. Could you make sure dese liddle ones get ta bed?" she asked, motioning to the various seven to ten year-olds that were wandering around the bunkroom, trying on all of the make-up that was left lying around. _

"_Sure" Cray said as Taylor twirled around once more and went downstairs. _

_At ten of eight, when Jack noticed that people had started to line up outside the Boys' Lodging House, he announced that it was time for them to across the street and pick up the girls, so that the party could begin. Anyone with a girlfriend getting ready across the street followed him down the stairs and across the street, where he opened the front door and yelled upstairs for Taylor to come down or else they'd start the party without her. Race laughed as he watched Blink's eyes pop out of his head as he saw Asia make her way down the stairs, and when Mush practically melted on the spot when Ringlets slowly came down the stairs. Race crossed his arms and leaned against the wall as he watched the rest of the girls come down the stairs into the arms of their guys, even Taylor. After a while he sighed. _

"_C'mon Taylah, don'tchya got one up dere fa me?" as he asked, he heard the sound of laughter coming from the top of the stairs. He looked up a girl coming down the stairs, who he didn't recognize for almost until she was standing right in front of him. She wore a dress of a deep, scarlet red colour, that trailed on the floor behind her so she had to hold it up so she wouldn't trip going down the stairs. The neck was low, revealing a bit of cleavage, and had little black beads woven into the fabric, lining the neck and the little short sleeves. Her hair was up with lots of little curls hangs down from the back and around her face. She wore a pair of dangling black earrings and a matching necklace. Her eyes reflected the lights in the room and her lips the colour of a dark rose. He looked down at her until he knew who she was, and still then didn't want to touch her; she looked so delicate. _

"_Race, are you feelin ok?" Lefty asked. Race said nothing, but kissed her hand slowly, making her smile, and draped his coat over her nearly bare shoulders and followed everyone else out into the cold, snowy night. _


	14. Chapter XIV

_Cray walked across the slushy street with Snipes and Boots, who lent her their coats (which were to big for them anyways) so she wouldn't catch cold out in the snow. When they arrived at the Boys' Lodging House, they found an enormously long line out in the front of guys and their girls, all dressed up the same as each other, in long shimmering gown that touched the ground elegantly, except for a few from Harlem who Cray was sure had been paid to come. When they saw Jack and Taylor arm in arm, leading the rest of the Manhattan newsies, everyone on the stairs stepped aside graciously and let them go in. Cray entered the common room and gasped; the floor had been swept and the furniture moved to create a dance floor in the middle of the room. Several small tables and chairs had been placed around the edge of the room so people could rest or have a drink. There was holly and ivy wrapped around everything and in the back of the room was the huge Christmas tree. There room was lit by what seemed like thousands of candles, and here was a roaring fire in the fireplace. Jack made sure that all his boys and their girls had taken off their coats and gotten settled before the started to let people inside. They came in by newsie groups, starting with Midtown, then Coney Island, East Side, West Side, Harlem, the Bronx, etc. Whichever group got their first came in first, and it went on that way. Jack had told them at Tibby's earlier that day that Queens would not be invited, and if Dice's boys did show up, everyone would leave as soon as possible. The food was out, the music was playing, and everyone was dancing and talking before Cray noticed that no one from Brooklyn was there. _

"_How come Brooklyn ain't comin?" she asked Lefty, whom she was sitting at a table with, and Race. _

"_Oh dey are, trust me, dey wouldn't miss dis," Race told her, "But Spot likes ta make an entrance." Cray nodded, thinking about what it would be like when he came in. _

"_Bull!" she heard Race say loudly, snapping her away from her thoughts. She looked and saw a tall guy in a dark blue shirt walking over to them. He spit shook wit Race and gave Lefty a kiss on the cheek. _

"_I'm so glad your heah, Jack told me you might not come" Lefty said, looking up at him. Bullet nodded. _

"_Yeah, I almost couldn't but I thought I'd make an appearance," he told her, "Tricks has been actin up recently, so we've got most of our guys back home keepin an eye on him. I can only stay for a bit, so how bought you give me one dance hm?" Bullet didn't really ask Lefty, he asked Race, who smirked and nodded, before he sat down and watched Bullet take Lefty's hand and lead her out onto the dance floor. _

"_Relative?" Cray asked Race after he tore his eyes away from them. _

"_Practically" he said, "Bull's sorta like Lefty's older brother. She used ta be youngest memba a his kids, an da only goil, so he sorta took caeh a her. He's a nice guy though; an he really loves her like a liddle sistah" Cray nodded. _

"_So, you're jealous?" she teased. Race grinned. _

"_Yeah, I'm always jealous. C'mon Cray, lets go dance." Cray popped up from her chair and took his hand, and they went off to join everyone on the floor. Halfway through the song though, Cray noticed the music get softer and eventually stop. Everyone on t he dance floor stopped dancing and looked around to see what had happened. Suddenly everyone started to cheer, and Cray stood on her tiptoes to see over the crowd. Eventually she got up on a chair and say that none other than Spot Conlon and his anterage had arrived. Spot was spit-shaking with Jack at the moment, and his boys were already starting to mingle with the crowd, talking, making sure the drinks were going around. Cray jumped down as she realized Spot was making his way onto the dance floor, and she backed away. From a distance she saw him greeting Lefty and Race, Taylor, Ringlets and Mush. She didn't know why, but as he inched closer to where she was standing, not yet seeing her, she backed away. She stepped backwards until she found herself banging into the door to Kloppman's broom closet. She fumbled around behind her for the handle, opening the door and spinning around, ready to hide in it, when she saw Asia, lipstick smeared and someone's head buried into her cleavage. She gave a muffled scream of surprised and Cray watched Kid Blink's head pop up from her chest. Quickly Cray shut the door again, still not letting herself face the crowd. She thought for a moment about what she had almost done. Why was she running away from Spot? What did she think was going to happen when they saw each other, which would happen eventually. As she looked at her reflection in the scratched gold door knob, she felt someone tap her on the shoulder, and turned around to find herself face-to-face with Spot. He looked down on her, a silly grin on his face, and alcohol on his breath. Obviously this was not the first party he had been to. _

"_Heya Cray" he said, swaying slightly, "whatcha up to?" she looked at him, knowing him well. This was the Spot Conlon from Saturday nights at The Home of the White Rose. This was the guy who'd come up to her room, practically dripping with gin and scotch and rum, who'd throw her down onto her bed dizzily and tear what little clothes she had on off. She shook her head. If he was going to talk to her tonight, she did not want it to be because he was drunk and didn't remember what had happened between them before. _

"_Get away from me Conlon" she said coldly. _

"_Whoa whoa whoa, Jesus Cray, I'se just tryin ta be nice" he let his finger ease its way down her collar bone, and she caught it before it touched her cleavage. _

"_Spot, I've been ya whore too many times, an I ain't gonna be it tonight" she started to walk away from him, but he caught her arm and pulled her into his strong embrace. He kissed her fiercely, and she did everything she could not to kiss him back. _

"_No" she said firmly once he had pulled away. He kissed again. _

"_Yes" he demanded. _

"_No"_

"_Yes" _

"_No"_

"_Yes" _

"_No"_

"_No"_

"_Yes, ha! You said yes!" Cray frowned, trying to figure out how he'd tricked her. _

"_Fuck off Conlon" she said when she did, pushing him away from her and quickly walking away. _

"_Cray," he said softly from behind her. She turned around slowly, looking at him standing there, looking back at her. He had said it so softly, so innocently she didn't believe it could have come from him. Hearing him say her name like that made her heart skip a beat. She slowly began to walk towards him again. _

_Lefty laughed as Race spun her around and caught her waist, dipping her low to the ground. He pulled her back up so fast her feet came off the ground, and she landed with her arms safely around his neck. He kissed her nose and set her down as they continued to dance. It was late, the party had been in full blast for hours, and Lefty assumed it was probably around one. Manhattan's Christmas parties had been known to go until four-thirty. She stopped in the middle of the song when she felt someone touch her arm, and turned around to see a very thin, tall boy standing in front of her, face white and dripping in sweat, body shaking. She smiled at him as she felt Race's arms circle around her waist, his foot tapping in time with the beat of the song. _

"_Hey Skid, I thought you left wit Bull hours ago" she asked him. He didn't respond, and Race noticed before she did that something was wrong with him. _

"_Hey kid, whatsamatta wit you?" Skid didn't answer him, but looked from Race to Lefty, shaking in his spot. _

"_Lefty," he said faintly after a few more minutes, "I tink you'd betta come wit me" Lefty raised an eyebrow. _

"_What? Weah?" she asked._

"_Ta da Bronx" he said, almost whimpering. _

"_Da Bronx? Why would she wanna go ta da Bronx? Is dere a pahty ovah dere dat's betta dan dis one?" Race asked, half laughing. Skid looked as if he was about to cry. _

"_Lefty, jus come outside, please" he asked her so desperately that Lefty nodded, her hand slipping into Race's as they both followed Skid outside. Lefty shivered; the night was dark and the snow falling steadily. _

"_A'right kid, now tell us what's goin on befoah we freeze ya death" Race said. The kid took a deep breath. _

"_Lefty, Bullet…Bullet is….Bullet is dead" Lefty stood there, not moving, not feeling the cold. _

"_What?" Race asked sternly, when he knew Lefty wouldn't. _

"_We, we found him, in a room at da Lodgin House…" Skid tried to explain, stuttering. _

"_Skid, stop it, did Trick's put you up ta dis? Tell him it isn't funny, not at all" Lefty said. Skid shook his head violently. _

"_No Lefty, it isn't a joke, I wouldn't joke about dis…we all went out to a party in South Side, ya see, an Bull an a few udders said dey would meet us dere…we went, an when we came back da whole building was empty, an Bull was lyin dere on da floor-" _

"_Show me" Lefty said, cutting him off. _

"_What?" Skid and Race both said at the same time. _

"_Show me. Take me to da Bronx. I wanna see fa myself" Race turned her around so he could look at her in the eye. _

"_Lefty, c'mon, it's forty below out heah. You just gonna let what some shmuk says make you walk all da way ta da-" the look on her face made him stop short. _

"_I'll get my coat" _

_Cray would have thought that the sudden change in the tone of Spot's voice meant that he wanted to talk about things, about what had gone on between them for the past month, the issue with Julienne. Instead as soon as she got close enough for him to reach her, he pulled her up onto his hips with one hand so her legs were wrapped around his waist, and began kissing her deeply. She felt all of her reason fly out the window as he walked backwards towards the stairs, and let her down so they could walk up them. Once they got to the hallway at the top of the stairs, Spot forced her up against the wall and began to work his hands down the back of her dress. They slowly moved towards the bunkroom door as little bit's of their outer clothing came off. _

"_Spot, it might be locked, Taylor might have locked it" Cray told him between their deep kisses. He still fumbled around behind her for the handle, and found it unlocked, pushing the door open and putting her back on his waist again. As soon as she had shut the door behind them a shriek was heard from the back of the room, making Cray and Spot stop making out and Cray to jump down onto the floor. From a bunk in the back emerged a half-dressed Taylor, and Jack right behind her with lipstick smeared all over his face. Cray covered her mouth to keep from laughing, and Spot whistled loudly. _

"_Way ta go Jackie-boy! An I thawt I'd be da foist one up heah tonight!" Jack tried to hide his grin from Taylor, who was busy putting her dress back on. _

"_No, its ok Taylah, we'll leave" Cray said, making Spot pout. She took his hand and pulled him downstairs, straightening out her clothes and buttoning up his shirt. _

"_But Cray-" Spot began when they reached the foot of the stairs. _

"_Get me something ta drink, dance with me, an ya still might still get lucky" Cray said. _

_The walk to the Bronx was a cold one, with Skid leading the way and Race and Lefty following silently behind. Race knew Lefty was not in any state to talk about the situation, even though he wished she would say something, so he just held her close to him and put his jacket over her shoulders. When they finally arrived in the area, they did not find it hard to distinguish the Bronx Lodging House from all of the other buildings near it. In every other apartment or bar or house there was a party going on, and light was blazing from the inside and music and laughter could be heard, but the Bronx Lodging House was dark and appeared to be locked up for good. _

"_Guess everybody left" Skid remarked quietly as he led them to the side door in a cold ally. He knocked twice but got no answer, so he and Race ran into the door twice until it opened. Race took Lefty's hand and gently pulled her inside. She shivered; the common room was cold and black until Skid lit a candle. He led them over to a door next to the stairs. _

"_Dis is weah we found him" he said. Lefty bit her lip and held her breath as Skid opened the door into the empty room. The three of them slowly entered, the room also cold and dark, lighted only by the faint glow of candle. Race was the first to give a small yell at the sight of the body on the floor. He lay face down, clothes torn, blood everywhere, as well as some broken glass strewn around him. _

"_Jesus Christ" Race murmured. Skid gave a bit of a whimper, and Lefty found she couldn't move. She suddenly realised how tight her corset was, and how difficult it was to breathe. The sight of the man she had danced with happily only a few hours ago now lying dead on the floor made her head swim. A million questions burned in her mind, none of which she found the strength to ask. She knew both Race and Skid were waiting for her to cry, but she found she couldn't. She didn't feel sadness, she felt confusion and dizziness, maybe anger, but then again she didn't know who to be angry with. She mind was filling with all of the memories of what a good person Bullet was to get, how he had saved her life, possibly multiple times, protected her, taught her almost everything she knew, loved her, even spoiled her a bit. He was her father and brother and body guard and psychiatrist all in one. _

"_Bullet…" she heard herself whisper. Now the tears were coming, and she covered her mouth with her hand. _

"_Do you…do you want-?" _

"_Yes" she answered Race, knowing what he was asking. He nodded. _

"_I'll be right outside." He and Skid left, closing the door gently behind them, but even the small noise it made made her jump. She knelt down on her knees slowly and took on of his limp hands in hers. _

"_Tragic, isn't it?" she heard a voice say. She gasped and sprang to her feet, looking across the room to see Tricks standing there, closing a door on the opposite side of the room. _

"_How did you…were you here-" _

"_I was upstairs" he said, walking around Bullet's body towards her. Skid had left the candle in the room, and when Tricks saw her more up close a look of mocking sympathy crossed his face. _

"_Aw, pretty Emmy, don't cry" he said, taking a cold finger to her cheek and wiping one of her tears away. She shivered as she heard her real name leave his lips. Her birth name was Emma, and all the boys from the Bronx always used to call her Emmy. She shrank back away from him, her back up against the wall. _

"_Tricks, please…how did dis happen?" she asked, voice shaking from her crying. He didn't answer for a few minutes just paced around the room, hands clasped behind his back in a very business-like manner. _

"_Emmy, do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" he asked, tilting his head. Lefty made a move towards the door, but Tricks stopped her. He took a hold of her shoulders and pushed her away from any available exit. _

"_Some guys, you could even say, would kill to go out wit you, even ta be as close ta you as I am now" he leaned in so his face was less than inches away from hers. She closed her eyes as he kissed her cheek lightly. _

"_Ya so lucky Emmy, ta have all dese guys like Bullet protecting you, so many guys…in da way" he caressed her skin and she gave a weak cry as his fingers travelled down her chest. _

"_Some guys, as I said, could kill ta get dis close ta you," he leaned in so his mouth was near her ear. _

"_I have" Lefty screamed as she heard him say this, pulling herself out of his grasp and running towards the door, pulling it open, running out into the common room where Race and Skid stood, running straight into Race's arms. She hid her face in his chest, her screams still coming. Race held her tight and looked up to see Tricks running out of the room where Bullet was. Skid put two and two together first, running at Tricks before he could get to Race and Lefty, punching his jaw as hard as he could. Tricks took the thin boy by the throat and hurled him into the wall, knocking him out. Lefty screamed as she saw Tricks run to a drawer and pull out a gun. Race, who had started to move towards Tricks, froze in his spot and watched Tricks point the gun directly at Lefty. Before Race heard it go off he pulled her out of the way, and two seconds later the bullet hit and shattered the window. Tricks yelled and ran at Race, who his him as hard as he could and tried to pull the gun out of his hands. Lefty started to realize that she had been cut by the glass and slowly began to loose consciousness. She heard the gun go off and watched the dark body fall. The candle in the other room had long gone out, and she ran towards the standing figure. She felt the blood on is hands and touched his face. _

"_I'm sorry Lefty…I didn't mean…we couldn't see and he didn't know it was pointing at him-" Lefty sighed as she heard Race's voice, and fell crying into his chest. He held her tight, burying his face in her hair, not knowing why he was crying too. _


	15. Chapter XV

_Cray sat on Spot's lap at Tibby's, watching Blink and Mush arm wrestle. Jack was betting on Mush, Race against Blink. She watched Race and laughed as he cheered his friend on, and looked over next to him to where Lefty was sitting. She was smiling, half clapping for Blink and half in conversation with Ringlets. Cray gazed at the thin red line on Lefty's right arm. It was almost completely healed, but she would have the scar all her life, Taylor said. That past Christmas Eve was the strangest one Cray had ever seen. She would never forget the awful scream that had woken her up from Spot's arms and made her run downstairs at three-thirty in the morning to see Race standing there, lip cut, carrying a bleeding Lefty in his arms. The news of Bullet's death, and the story about what had happened that night was still talked about, but everyone was the most grateful that Race and Lefty were alive. It was spring now, the funeral had been held, the wounds had begun to heal, and everything seemed to be back to normal. Cray and Spot were back together, although Cray found it amusing that all it took to get them back together was a drunken Spot at a wild party. They still had not talked about Julienne, and Cray was thankful that she had not made another appearance. Asia and Blink where going out, and their relationship was going down in history as the longest time Asia had ever been with a guy without cheating on him, or dumping him, or starting some unbelievable rumour about him. Jack and Taylor were pretty cozy, and Cray was under oath not to tell anyone about what she had seen the night of the Christmas party, even though she had told Lefty a few weeks ago, which gave them something to laugh about for a few minutes, before Lefty went off to tell Race. Things were good, and everything seemed especially good to Cray today. It was early April, the sun was shining, the flowers were opening and little green leaves were on the trees, she'd sold all of her papes and Spot and she were going to meet Lefty and Race at the tracks alter on that afternoon. Nothing was going to go wrong today, nothing. Cray stretched a bit and leaned her head back, looking around at everyone else in the restaurant. She was just about to sit back up again when she caught a glimpse of two people sitting at a table in the back. The restaurant was bright inside, with the sun pouring in the open windows, and yet it seemed very dark where they were sitting. Cray squinted a bit, and realised who it was, or, at least who she thought it was. She slid off of Spot's lap, who didn't notice because he was talking to Jack, and leaned across the table to Lefty. _

"_Hey, who's dat goil Bumlets it sittin with ovah dere?" she asked. Lefty moved her head to the side so she could see, and her blue eyes squinted too. _

"_I dunno, I think I've seen her around though," she said, befoah tugging on Race's sleeve._

"_Yeah doll?" he asked, dropping another dime on the table against Mush. _

"_Who's da blonde sittin wit Bumlets ovah dere?" Race's brown eyes squinted, and Cray moved her head so he could see. _

"_Oh, dat's dat goil I told ya about, rememba?" Lefty shook her head. _

"_Who is she?" Cray asked, already knowing it was Julienne, but wanting to here how Race knew who she was. _

"_She camps out in Bumlet's bunk every once in a while, but she leaves real early in da mornin, no Kloppman doesn't find out she's dere. She's kinda weird" Race told them. Cray tried not to laugh at the last comment, and looked over at Spot, who was still talking to Jack. _

"_Be right back" she told Race and Lefty, before she got up and walked over to where Bumlets and Julienne were sitting. They were talking, and kept talking even when Cray stood right in front of their table. Bumlets looked up at her, while Julienne kept talking to him. _

"_Hey Twitch, I tink you got a visitor" Julienne's dirty blonde head snapped up, and she looked at Cray with strange, cat-like eyes. _

"_Julienne, can we-" _

"_Let's go Bumlets" Julienne said before standing up and marching out towards the door. Cray caught her arm before she'd taken three steps, so that Spot wouldn't see her, and didn't let go, even when the small girl struggled against her grip. _

"_I need ta talk ta yous" Cray told her, half pleading. She didn't know why she wanted to talk to Julienne; she supposed she'd make something up once the two of them were alone. She mainly didn't want Julienne to walk out into the main part of the restaurant, risking Spot seeing her. Cray knew that would start something, something that could possibly put their current happy relationship in danger. _

"_Two seconds" Julienne said frowning, motioning to Bumlets to wait for her outside. _

"_Cray and Julienne sat back down at the table she and Bumlets had been sitting at, and Julienne lit up a cigarette, leaning back in her chair. _

"_So…" Cray began awkwardly, "how've ya been?" Julienne laughed. _

"_C'mon, I know ya betta dan dat Anya…why'd ya call me ovah heah anyways?" Cray sighed. _

"_I saw Aly and Desire a few months ago, back in December." _

"_So?" _

"_Dey told me dat Ray had a few a his guys out-" _

"_A few a his guys?" Julienne asked, raising an eyebrow. Cray sighed again. _

"_I guess you-" _

"_I ain't stupid kid. I know I'm being looked for. _

"_So, dat time in Brooklyn, when you came into da Barracks, was dat..?" _

"_Nah, dat wasn't Ray, dat was Dice" Julienne told her, taking a drag from her cigarette. _

"_Queens?" Cray asked, briefly remembering hearing something about a Dice from Queens. _

"_Yeah…how'd you-" _

"_I ain't stupid eitha" Cray responded, smiling. Julienne gave her a little grin, and Cray felt the atmosphere around them lighten up a bit. _

"_So, nevah expected ta see Anya Haht woikin as a newsie" Julienne said after a short pause. Cray smiled slightly, looking down at her tattered overalls. This time last year she never would have imagined herself looking like this. _

"_I nevah would have expected it eitha, but things change, I guess" _

"_Why didn't ya go back?" Julienne asked her, for once her voice not sounding cynical. _

"_I dunno, I like it heah, I liked not wearing a corset everyday" Julienne laughed shortly. _

"_I wonda how Desiree would feel about being replaced by Lefty" that hit Cray a little harder than she would have expected. Lefty was like her sister, and while she and Desiree were never that close, she was always the one she confided in the most, if she confided with anybody. She had changed a lot since last July. _

"_Listen, I jus wanted ta know how you're handling being a fugitive, an if you knew anything…" _

"_Whatta ya mean anything?" Julienne asked. _

"_I dunno, anything, about what's been goin on back at-" _

"_Home?" Julienne offered, returning to her sarcastic self. _

"_Back dere" Cray said firmly. _

"_So, you're not goin back den?" she asked, putting out her cigarette. Cray paused before answering. She had never considered going back, at least not after what she'd heard from Desiree and Aly. _

"_No. Dis is where I belong now. Dese are da people I belong wit" Cray told her. Julienne looked over the table where everyone was. _

"_You think you belong wit Spot?" she asked, catching Cray off-guard. She didn't want to answer that question, she didn't even want to think about it, so she decided to take advantage of the topic and see if she could get the information she wanted out of Spot from Julienne. _

"_Julienne…how do you know Spot?" Cray asked, casually, twirling her finger around the rim of one of the glasses on the table. The blonde's sarcastic smile turned into a frown, and she stood up without warning, putting her cap on her head and walking towards the back door. _

"_Julienne!' Cray called after her, knowing she would not come back, but grateful she had chosen the back exit. She sighed and ran hand through her hair, making it fall out of the loose braid Lefty had put it into that morning. She stood up and walked back into the main part of the restaurant, surprised to find that the once-newsie filled table she had been sitting at was deserted except for Lefty, Race, and Spot. _

"_Heya doll, weah ya been, we was stahtin ta worry" Spot asked. Cray stole a glance at the cards lying on the table and knew he hadn't given her a second thought, but had chosen a good line to feed her. _

"_I went up on da roof fa some air" She told them, leaning on Spot's chair. Race and Spot nodded but Lefty gave her a curious look. _

"_So, we gonna go befoah it closes or what?" Race asked briskly as he sensed the tension building between them, gathering up his cards and lighting a cigar. _

"_Yeah, lets go" Spot said, putting his cap on and standing up, sliding his arm around Cray's waist. The four of them walked outside into the sunshine and over to Coney Island. _

_Cray lay in her bunk that night, assuming she was the only one left away in the room. A candle burned on the table beside her bed, lighting the pages of the book she was reading, one that she had borrowed from Ringlets. _

"_Cray" she heard someone whisper. She turned her head to see Lefty sitting up in bed, her sheet drawn up around her thin shoulders. _

"_Oh, sorry" Cray said, leaning over to blow out the candle. _

"_No-" Cray held her breath, "bring it ovah heah…I wanna talk ta yous" Cray raised an eyebrow and picked up the candle, placing it on the table next to Lefty's bunk, and sitting across from her on it. _

"_What's goin on?" she asked, taking Lefty's pillow and placing it behind her head so she could lean back on it. _

"_Who were you talkin to today at Tibby's?" Lefty asked directly. She had never been one to dance around her topic of choice for a conversation-she cut right to the chase._

"_When? I was at da table wit you da whole time" she asked, looking down at her night dress and knowing Lefty was frowning at her. _

"_Who was it Cray, halfway through lunch…she was blonde, an ya wouldn't tell Spot" _

"_You wouldn't know her" _

"_Try me" _

"_I know her from da Rose…jus catchin up on things" Lefty leaned back and sighed. _

"_Look, I ain't tryin ta get an exclusive interview from you…I jus wanna know what's goin on, why didn't ya tell Spot, huh?" the severity had dropped form her voice, and suddenly Cray had a burning desire to spill out everything. _

"_Ya rememba dat time I told you about dat goil comin into da barracks…" Lefty listened intently to the entire story, her hands folded neatly in her lap. _

"…_an I jus wanna know who he knows her, an why he won't tell me about it" Cray finished with a sigh, running a hand through her tangled red curls. _

"_So whatta ya think?" she asked Lefty, who bit her lip. _

"_Spot used to have…he used to have, dis goil," she began slowly, as though she thought about each word before she let it leave her mouth. _

"_Spot used to have a lot of goils" Cray responded, grinning internally, thinking about how she used to be one of many, and now was the only one. _

"_No, not like dat, not dat kinda goil. She wasn't da kind a goil you'd go out wid or have a one-night-stand wid or anything like dat. She was more like a guy dan a goil really, an Ringlets used to say dat she'd be really pretty if she jus washed all da dirt off" Cray laughed. _

"_What did she do?" she asked. _

"_She was his partner, partner in crime, I guess you could say. She was one a da Boids, maybe da best one, his favourite from what I've gathered. She was his spy, an she knew everything dat happened ovah dere, an she would report everything to him, I guess. I'm really not da one ta ask about Twitchy, Jack would probably know more-" _

"_Twitchy?" Cray asked, making sure she caught the right word. _

"_Yeah, dats was dey called her…she was kinda like a cat, and she always looked really uneasy an suspicious. Jumpy, ya know?" Cray frowned. That was Julienne, jumpy, catlike, suspicious. _

"_What did she look like?" Cray asked, almost nervous at finding out the answer. Even when she first came to Le Maison du a Blanc de Monte, Julienne was always skipping town, leaving in the morning, coming back late at night. She didn't work there like Cray and Aly and Desiree did; she advertised every once in a while, but Ray found it hard to control her, so she was pretty much free to roam around the city as she pleased, something that had always evoked a bit of jealousy in Cray. _

"_I didn't see her much, she hardly evah came ta Tibby's; I don't think she really liked Manhattan. But she was always really dirty, an she wore boys' clothes all da time. She was very short, I don't remember if she was shorter dan me, but Spot seemed ta tower over her, as did everyone else. She was blonde, I think, and Asia and Taylor always said dat she washed her haih wid dirt." Cray let her head hang forward. Julienne was Twitchy, Spot's old accomplice. She didn't know if she was relieved to find out they had never been together, or angry at the fact that Julienne had at one time had a better relationship with Spot than she did now. _

"_Dat all ya need ta know kid?" Lefty asked, taking her away from her thoughts. Cray nodded. _

"_I guess…but wait, she doesn't still…woik fa him, da she" she asked, not quite sure how to phrase the question. _

"_I don't think so. She kinda disappeared a while ago, maybe she an Spot had a fight or something, but I don't tink he took it took it too good. He started drinking more, an he started ta always hang out at da whorehouses-" she stopped an saw Cray flinch. "Sorry" Cray shook her head, letting Lefty think that her flinch was because the whorehouse remark. She'd realized at that moment right when she'd met Spot, back at The Home of the White Rose, that he in the middle of the thing with Julienne. It all made sense. She had been drinking more, they all had noticed, Cray remembered. She even through a glass of vodka at Desiree's head once. She would be gone for days, an when she came back she was tired and angry and much more violent than usual. Cray had been Spot's escape; he'd come for her to get his thoughts away from Julienne. She wondered what their fight had been, and suddenly realized how little she knew about the girl she'd known her whole life. Julienne had a whole other life, a whole other person inside of her that no one knew about. Cray suddenly realized how small her world had been, how small all of their worlds were. They lived for lingerie and dancing and drinking and sex. That was all they knew. Their entire lives were behind those walls, and Julienne was living outside of them. A pang of guilt hit Cray as she thought about all the times she'd made fun of her with Aly, how strange they always thought she was, how dirty and uncultured they said she was. As if they were cultured. Wearing French garders doesn't change the fact that you're really just a fifteen year old whore from New York City. _

"_Cray are you ok?" Lefty's voice floated into her thoughts, making her jump. _

"_Yeah, I'm fine…jus a liddle cold, I guess…thanks fa tellin me dis stuff Lefty"_

"_No problem Cray…any real reason why ya wanted ta know so badly?" she asked as Cray stood up off her bunk. _

"_I jus don't like secrets," she replied, knowing that was not a good excuse, but also knowing Lefty wouldn't press her for anymore details. _

"_Mmhmm, goodnight Cray" Lefty said, turning over and settling back into bed. Cray settled into her bunk, feeling strangely unsatisfied about everything. She had always thought very highly of herself after leaving The Home of the White Rose. She'd felt she'd taken a huge risk; leaving everything she knew and starting a whole new life, but everything worked out in the end. She had always thought herself very brave and adventurous, certainly the most courageous out of all the other girls back at the brothel. None of the other girls would ever have left. They would never have lived with or become a newsie. The fact that Julienne had an entire other life years before she had this one bothered Cray immensely. It was true that she didn't like secrets, even though she had kept them all her life. She liked to know what was going on, and she always had at Le Maison de a Blanc de Monte. She was always in the loop, being Ray's favourite girl. She always knew the important things—when the new Italian lingerie was coming in (which, of course, she always got first pick on), who was singing or dancing lead that night, how much money the other girls were getting, when the new girls were coming in. she had to start over when she came into the newsie world, she didn't know anyone, and she had to learn how their lives worked, and to talk how they talked, to know who they knew, etc. Cray had learned fast though, at least about how everything worked in Manhattan, and she was beginning to understand Brooklyn, even though she was pretty sure no one would ever fully understand Brooklyn. Now she realized that there was so much she didn't know, so much that even Lefty didn't know all of, and she had grown up in this environment, with these people. Cray wished she had too. She wished she had been brought up as a newsgirl, and had all of the memories that they had, and had gone on the adventures they had been on. She wished she knew moiré about Spot and Twitchy, or Julienne, or whoever she was. These weren't the kind of things you learned by asking questions, she realized. This life wasn't the kind you read about in books or in the newspaper. This is real life. This is not knowing what you would eat for breakfast tomorrow, or not knowing if you were going to live to see tomorrow, as they had all discovered that Christmas. As much as she hated to admit, even to herself, she really didn't know these people. These street rats, as they were called, these newsies or pickpockets or angels with dirty faces or whoever they were. She knew she was one of them though. She was considered to be one them, and she liked being with them. Cray was Cray, everything before that didn't matter. Cray suddenly became aware of how much she loved them, how much she loved all of them. They had saved her from something that she didn't even know was harmful to her. She rolled over to look at Lefty, sleeping so peaceful in her bunk, then up at Ringlets above her, a little smile upon her round sleeping face. They were better friends than Aly or Desiree could ever be, and Taylor was a better leader than Ray ever was. These girls had become the sisters Cray never had, and she never wanted anything to happen to her relationship with them, to her relationship with any of them. No one was going to take Cray away from the newsies, not Ray or any of his guys, not Julienne who thought she didn't belong, no one. Crayola Carson was a newsie, and she was meant to be one, just like Jack or Spot or Race or Blink or Lefty or any of them. And nothing was going to change that. _

_Lefty rested her head on Race's shoulder as they walked back from the poker hall. She had told him he didn't have to, mostly because he was supposed to go to a meeting with Jack in Brooklyn, and taking her home was completely out of his way, but also because she always told him he didn't have to, and he always did anyways. She felt so happy, the early evening air all around them, Race's arms wrapped around her waist, making her feel safe and protected, a feeling she had not felt in a while. Christmas Eve in the Bronx had really done a job on her, and for two weeks after she refused to let anyone but Race near her, even when she was sleeping. Bullet's death had been so unexpected, and she had gone over the experience so many times in head, all of the what-ifs and if-onlys fluttering around inside her mind. The funeral was hard, but having Race there made everything seem easier, and she couldn't believe how lucky she was to have him there for her, anytime she needed him, no matter what. She loved this; she loved what she had right now. She loved being able to rest her head on his chest, against the worn fabric of his vest, close enough that she could smell the cigar smoke that always lingered on him, and hear his heart beat. She loved how he had an obsession with her hair, and was always touching it and running his hands through it. She loved him telling her she was beautiful, she loved him talking to her in Italian, she loved him kissing her nose and sneaking up behind her, grabbing her waist and spinning her around off the ground. She loved his smirk and his laugh and his smile and how he always hit Blink on the back of the head for no reason. She loved him, everything about him. _

"_Heya doll," he said suddenly as they stopped walking, "ya tired?" he put his arms around her and held her very close to him, resting his chin on the top of her head and kissing her hair. He stared out into the harbour, feeling her put her arms around him, and he loved the way she fit so perfectly under his head, tall enough to kiss his neck without tilting her head, short enough to have to stand on her tiptoes to reach his lips. He loved how her hair looked in the setting sun, how it brought out the reddish bits and the blonde bits, making the auburn so pretty. He loved how she always smelled like vanilla and lavender, and how smooth her skin was. He loved the way she would look at Asia after she said something mean, her eyes so hard and cold, then turn to look at him, and suddenly they would be soft and sparkling. He loved how her laugh sounded like a bell, and how small and delicate her fingers seemed when he held them in his hand. He loved how her feet were always bare and how she always wore his shirt and suspenders the days after they spent the night together. He loved how she would steal his cigars, even though she didn't smoke them, just so he would chase her around and tickle her until she revealed where she had hidden them. He loved her, everything about her. _

"_Can ya carry me?" he heard her ask. She grinned._

"_A' course" he replied, picking her up and twirling her around. _

"_Race, put me down…I was jus kidding" she said, laughing. He set her down and kissed her nose, smirking. He took her hand and spun her around, pretending to dance with around the nearly empty street. _

"_Ya know, you are so gorgeous," he said as he pretended to waltz with her, "I didn't even know people came dis gorgeous befoah I saw yous" she laughed and took his hat off his head, putting it on hers. _

"_Stop it Race, ya makin me blush" she said, grinning, still dancing. _

"_No, really, ya smaht, an funny, an beautiful, an classy, an will you marry me?" she felt him let go of her hand as he spun her around. She stopped moving and caught her breath, her back facing him. She turned around, expecting him to be standing there with a silly smirk on his face, but instead she found him down on his knees, holding out a little box to her. She slowly pulled his hat off her head and let it fall to the ground. _

"_Race, whatta ya doing?" she asked softly, covering her mouth with her hand. This was the worst trick he had ever played on her. _

"_Lefty, I love you an dat night in da Bronx I came way too close ta loosing you, an it made me realize dat I could nevah forgive myself if anything happened to you. So, I wanna be da one to always be dere for you, because…I love you Lefty. Marry me" she gently took the box in her hands, not daring to open it. He stood up and leaned in so their foreheads were touching, and opened it for her. Inside was a tiny silver ring, the band entwining around a small diamond in the center. He took it out and closed the box, putting it away in his pocket. He looked at her so longingly, and leaning in and kissed her. As he did she held out her left to him, and broke the kiss as she felt him slide the ring onto her finger. She smiled at him through the tears that she didn't even know were there, and he smiled and swept her off her feet, twirling her around until they both got dizzy and she fell into his arms, smiling softly and letting him kiss her deeply, before picking her up into his arms again, this time walking off towards the Lodging House, knowing that the bunkroom would be empty. _


	16. Chapter XVI

_"I love you more_

_"No, I love you more"_

_"NO, I love you more" _

_"NO, I love you more!" _

_Ringlets sat on Mush's lap on his top bunk in the Boys' Lodging House, having the argument that they frequently had. She giggled girlishly as he kissed her and tickled her slightly, hitting his head with his cap playfully and leaning in to kiss him back. Just as she did they heard the bunkroom doors open, and Ringlets quickly jumped down off his bunk and peeked out to see who had interrupted them. In came Race and Lefty, each soaked through. It had been pouring all day, but that didn't stop Race form dragging Lefty off to the tracks, even if he knew it probably would be closed. Ringlets shook her head disapprovingly at them. Why couldn't they just stay inside where it was warm and dry, like she and Mush did? Ringlets sighed, patting her hair. She had sold with Mush earlier that morning and the dampness and humidity in the air had made her hair all poofy. She felt Mush brush by her, walking over to Race and talking to him about something, and she walked over to stand next to Lefty, knowing Mush wouldn't flirt with her when she was there. They talked for a bit, before Mush leaned over and kissed Ringlets cheek. _

"_Well I gotta go, Blink wants ta see me an Race at Tibby's" she nodded and smiled at him as he walk out of the room, smacking Race on the back of his head as he went. Race broke the deep kiss he was in with Lefty, and winked at Ringlets before leaving too. _

"_Ya know Taylah will kill me if she finds out I let you stand heah all wet like dat" she said, breaking the silence. Even with her clothes soaked through and her long hair dripping wet, she still looked beautiful. No wonder Race couldn't keep away from her. Lefty smiled and followed Ringlets into the boys' washroom. _

"_I'm not sure weah dey keep da towels," Ringlets said, looking around, careful not to touch any of the boys' dirty things that were laying around, "actually I'm not even sure dat dey use towels" Lefty laughed from being her, wringing out her hair. She jumped down off the counter she was sitting on and walked back into the bunkroom, pulling the towel she knew Race always used off his bunk and using it to dry her hair. _

"_You certainly know ya way around heah, ya almost gonna know it betta dan Asia soon" Ringlets commented, laughing. Lefty rolled her eyes but smiled, and leaned back on Race's bunk, sighing. Ringlets didn't know if it would be impolite to sit on her friend's boyfriend's bunk, so she just pulled up a chair next to her and started to braid her unruly hair. _

"_So, how's it going wit Race?" she asked, smiling a bit impishly. Lefty smiled softly. _

"_Fine…hey, sorry if we walked in on anything wit you an Mush" she said. Ringelts blushed and shook her head. _

"_No no no," she replied quickly, "we were jus…well, ya know" _

"_Mmmhmm" Lefty said, nodding, tossing the towel aside an folding her hands in her lap. _

"_Hey…what's dat?" Ringlets asked, catching a glimpse of something glittering on Lefty's left hand. _

"_Hm? Oh, nothing" she replied, quickly putting her hand behind her back. Ringlets smiled curiously. _

"_What is dat? Let me see" she asked reaching for Lefty's hand. _

"_Honestly, it's nothing" _

"_Lemme see, please?" Ringlets whined, feet bouncing up and down in anticipation. Lefty sighed heavily and slowly let Ringlets take her left hand in hers. She gasped as she saw the ring. _

"_Oh my God, Oh my God, OH MY GOD!" _

"_Shhhhh, shut-up Ringelts" Lefty said urgently, sitting up and trying to pull her hand away, but Ringlets held on too tight. _

"_Is this what I think it is?" Ringelts squealed excitedly. Lefty nodded very slowly. _

"_You mean…you mean you and Race are—ENGAGED!" _

"_Yes" _

"_What?" _

"_Yes Ringlets. Race an I are going to get married." Ringelts jaw dropped and she stood up, bouncing around and screaming. _

"_Oh my God Oh my God Oh my God" _

"_Ringelts, calm down!" Lefty ordered, springing off the bed and holding her friend still. Ringelts looked down at her, beaming. _

"_When did he propose?" she asked, breathless. _

"_Three days ago" Ringlets squealed again and hugged Lefty tightly. _

"_So, you guys are really going ta get married?" _

"_Yes, we are really goin ta get married" Ringlets let out a huge sighed and felt her eyes getting damp. _

"_Wow" she said, sitting back down in her chair. Lefty kneeled down on the floor in front of her. _

"_Now listen ta me Ringlets. You're right dis is a very big deal, an me an Race have decided not ta tell anyone for a while, so don't go off telling everybody" she said. Ringlets pouted. She hated keeping secrets, and this was the biggest one she was ever asked to keep. She didn't know if she could handle it. _

"_Not even Mush?" she asked. _

"_No" Lefty replied sternly. _

"_But why?" Ringelts asked. _

"_Because Mush is someone, an we don't want anyone ta know" _

"_No, I mean, why don't ya want anyone ta know. Dis is so great, why don't ya wanna tell everybody?" Ringlets asked her, picking up her left hand and examining the ring. _

"_I don't know Ringlets…we're jus not ready. I can't even really believe it myself. I haven't even turned sixteen yet, an I'm getting married" Lefty said, feeling a bit relieved that she could talk to someone other than Race about this. _

"_Fifteen isn't so bad; David's mudda got married when she was sixteen" Ringlets pointed out. _

"_She came from a completely different background Ringlets…I'm jus a kid, Race is jus a kid…we've got our whole lives ahead of us. All I've done my whole life is ta be a newsie…I don't know anything about…anything. Da farthest away I've evah been is Chicago…I don't know if I'm ready ta settle down like dis." She told Ringlets. _

"_I nevah would have pictured Race as da marrying type" Ringelts said to herself. Lefty gave a short laugh. _

"_What exactly did you picture him to be?" _

"_I dunno…I always thought Jack an Taylah would be da foist ta get married, not you two, ya so…young" _

"_I know" _

"_Do you want to?" _

"_Do I want to what?" Lefty asked. _

"_Do you want to get married silly" _

"_Of course I wanna get married Ringelts, I've always wanted ta get married…but I didn't realize it would happen so soon" Lefty bit her lip and felt her eyes get misty. She did love Race, and she didn't want anything to happen to their relationship, but would never have guessed that Race, of all people, would want to get married. He just wasn't that type, not yet at least. He was just a kid, and he had just turned sixteen a few months ago. They were so young, and she was so scared, but somehow she felt that this was right, no matter how much it frightened her. There were so many doubts that she had, so many questions she wanted answered, and she didn't know who to ask. But no matter how many questions and doubts she had, no matter how frightened of marriage she was, she had a strong feeling that everything work out ok, and being a newsie her whole life wasn't what she wanted at all, and maybe it was time for her to leave the Lodging House and move on. She didn't know what Race wanted to do after they were married, they hadn't discussed that yet. All she knew was that the ring he had given her wasn't coming off. She began to cry a bit, and Ringelts was crying too, and they hugged and cried and talked about everything until the rain stopped, and they went off to the Girls' Lodging House together. Ringelts had made a solemn promise to Lefty to keep her mouth shut until Lefty said it was okay to tell, a promise that she was determined to keep. _

_"A'right kid, I ain't helpin you steal no more cigars today" Cray told Snipes as they walked through the streets of upper Manhattan. The mid-afternoon sun was warm, and she had been selling with him since six that morning. They should have been on their way to Tibby's to meet everyone else, but Snipes had declared earlier he thought he could get more cigars out of wealthy people's back pockets, so they had begun to walk around the Upper East Side, where the streets were cleaner and everyone seemed to be wearing something flashy or silk or expensive, and Snipe's, an ex-pickpocket, seemed to be in heaven. Cray kind of liked wondering around near all the large apartment buildings, out of the slums. It was easier to think in a calmer place like this. The rounded a few more corners until the building started to get a little less fancy, and the cobblestone streets a little more rough. Cray looked around, feeling an odd sense of familiarity to the area. Not looking where she was going, she felt a small figure bump into her. She looked down to see a small girl standing there, face dirty, wearing a ripped dress and loosely laced corset, revealing most of what little chest she had. A torn shawl that Cray recognized was draped loosely around her bare shoulders. _

"_Please Miss…come to Le Maison du a Blanc de Monte, the Home of the White Rose-" a cough took over her speech, and she bent her head down. Cray kneeled down in front of her head looked at her closely. _

"_Lily?" the girl looked at Cray, and her eyes grew wide. _

"_Oh Miz Anya! Where did you go? We were so worried! So much has happened, and Ray is so angry all the time, and, and…" Cray shook her head and took the girls hand. It was cold, even though the day was warm, and Cray knew she was sick. _

"_Snipes, go to Tibby's an tell Lefty I'll be a little late" the boy nodded and ran off, leaving Cray and the girl named Lily alone, looking up the street at a building. It was run down, showing some signs of once being well painted and cared for, but it was clearly neglected. The front doors were scratched and one of the golden handles was broken off, and some of the windows were broken. The flashy, brightly painted sign that once hung over the doors was gone, and in it's place was a wooden board with "The Home of the White Rose" painted on. Cray was surprised it was spelled correctly. She could believe she was seeing it like this. What had happened when she left? This destruction of her old home could not have been caused all because of her, could it? Her eyes drifted up to the small balcony that had belonged to her bedroom. It used to have ivy and roses growing up all around it. Now the vines were dry and brown, as were the rest of the vines that used to grow on the building. She almost wanted to cry. She felt responsible, guilty. She felt Lily tug on her arm. _

"_Are you coming home?" she asked, her eyes pleading. Cray wanted to nod, she wanted to go inside and see what had become of the grand staircase, the barroom, the stage, her bedroom. But to go back would have been signing her death sentence, and she wasn't willing to risk her life, no matter what the circumstance. She looked down at Lily and gave her a small smile. _

"_Not today, I'm a liddle too busy, maybe-" her excuses were interrupted by a loud shriek coming from inside, followed by a series of screams. Lily gasped and began to run towards the building, into a side ally and opening the side door. Cray almost smiled; Ray still must be keeping to the old set of rules, one of them was that no whore was to enter the front doors. They were reserved for paying customers only. Cray inched closer to the building, until she was almost into the ally, and could see Lily clearly, watching her talking to another girl who was inside. _

"_What is it?" Cray whispered when she saw Lily cover her mouth in horror. Another set of screams was heard. _

"_Desiree" she whispered back, not daring to venture inside. _

"_What do you mean, what's wrong with her?" Cray asked, walking closer to her. _

"_She must have tried to run away again" she told her, face white. _

"_Again? Why…has anyone else tried to leave, besides me?" she asked. Lily nodded. _

"_Oh yes, so many, so many that Ray made a rule" _

"_A rule?" _

"_Any girl who runs away and is caught, is brought back, and…and…" Lily's lower lip began to tremble, and Cray walked over to the door. _

"_Show me" she demanded. Lily's eyes grew wide. _

"_But Miss Anya-"another scream was heard and Cray stepped into the building. She could feel the younger girl clinging to her as she moved forward, out into the main hallway. Being there felt surreal, looking around at the place that had once been carpeted in rich reds and gold, and finding a hardwood floor in its place. The chandelier was gone, and the barroom looked lonely and disserted, consisting only of a few small wooden tables and stairs. _

"_What happened?" Cray whispered to herself, looking around in bewilderment. _

"_They sold everything…Ray was so in dept, everything had to go, even the stage" Lily said, thinking she had wanted an explanation._

"_They tore out the stage?" Cray asked, a little louder than she should have, looking over at the door that had once led to the room where she had danced all night. _

"_Yeah, we work in the bar only now, Ray got rid of Clarice…she was too expensive" Clarice had been the choreographer for all of the dances the girls had done, and it made Cray sick to think of her not being there to teach them their new steps. She had missed so much. Cray slowly climbed up the staircase, clinging to the railing, praying that one of the maids wouldn't come down and find them. The second floor consisted of all the girls' rooms, and a lounge, and Cray pulled Lily down a long hallway to the back stairs leading up to the third floor, where Ray's lair was, and where the servants slept. Cray had only been up there several times when Ray had called her for a private meeting; the girls weren't allowed to go to the third floor without permission. Lily shivered behind her as they climbed the steep, narrow stairs, pausing when the reached the top in the long, thin hallway. All of the doors were closed, and Cray wondered if the servants were even working there anymore. _

"_Jesus-" _

"_Shhh, listen" Lily said. Cray listened. The screams were gone, now replaced by an eerie sobbing sound that was coming from an open door at the end of the hall. Cray started running to the end of the hall, Lily whimpering behind her. She looked in several doors before running to the last one at the end of the corridor, stopping dead when she looked in. About twenty girls stood there, all looking down silently at the small figure in the middle of room. _

"_Desiree" Cray breathed, moving into the room. Every head turned to look at her. Several girls gasped in horror, Cray didn't know why, and Desiree looked up. She was in a heap on the floor, crying, her broken figure being held up by Aly, whose arms were around her. _

"_Anya?" Desiree whispered, tears pouring down her face. Cray felt her eyes get moist, before she let go of Lily and sank down onto the floor, throwing her arms around Desiree, Aly's arms around both of them. She felt her stomach turn as Desiree's warm blood seeped out onto her hands, but she didn't care. This was her fault. It was her fault everything had fallen apart. It was her fault Julienne was in danger, Desiree was beaten, everyone was so scared. She deserved to be punished not them. Somehow, all of this was Cray's doing. The three of them held each other for a little while, no one else moving, until finally Aly looked up through her tears. _

"_Anya…you'd better go…Ray could come back any minute, and-" Cray sat up as she heard the heavy footsteps coming down the hall. She stood up, looking down at Desiree and Aly for help. The only way out of the room was the window, and she wasn't about to jump. _

"_Run" Aly told her, and Cray did. She ran out of the room into the hallway, knowing Ray was right behind her. She wasn't sure if he would recognize her at first, but he did, because she could hear him yelling at the girls and felt the hallway shaking at he pounded on the hard wood floor. She flew down the stairs as fast as she could, practically feeling his breath on her neck, he was so close. She closed her eyes as she ran down the next hallway, and tripped as she sprinted down the main stairs. She could see the front door, and she ran, but not fast enough. He grabbed her by the back of the neck and pulled her back, lifting her feet off the floor with ease. She kicked and screamed and tried with all her strength to remove his hands from her throat. She couldn't see, he was strangling her; everything was starting to go black. Finally she found one of his fingers, digging into her chin, and seized it, biting down hard. She heard him yell as she dropped her to the ground, and a second later she was up, flying out the door into the street. There were more of them behind her now, she could hear them yelling. She kept running, running until the cobblestone streets turned to dirt, and she knew she was out of the East Side, and into Lower Manhattan. She knew they probably weren't behind her anymore, but she kept running. She looked behind her once, only seeing a crowd of people, and felt herself run into someone tall. She looked up to see the tall person was wearing a cowboy hat, and was grinning down at her in amusement. _

"_Heya Cray, runnin from da bulls?" Jack Kelly asked, looking behind her. She sighed and nodded, feeling very dizzy and falling onto him once more. _

"_Whoa," he said, holding her up, "c'mon, I'll take ya back ta da Lodgin House" Cray sighed as he put his arm around her, feeling nauseous and tired. Jack had always been nice to her, her relationship with him was like her one with Race, only she and Jack weren't as close. She was glad he was there, for physical support mostly, because she didn't think she could have made it back without falling over. He dropped her off at the front steps with a smile, and she pulled herself up the stairs and into the bunkroom, where she flung herself down onto her bunk and fell asleep. _

_When Cray woke up, she opened her eyes and saw that it had grown dark, and assumed it was pretty late because all of the girls were inside, the younger ones asleep and the older ones talking quietly. Cray started to unbraid her hair, and squinted to see Ringelts and Lefty talking a few bunks away. She was just about to get up and go over to them when she heard a pair of heels clicking their way towards her. She looked up to see Asia standing there, her lipstick smudged. _

"_Heya goily" she said, flopping down on the bunk opposite Cray and starting to take down her hair. _

"_Hot date?" Cray asked, yawning. _

"_It was Blink" Asia said, making Cray laugh. _

"_No really, it was pretty hot actually" she said, taking off her shoes. Cray stretched and lay back down on her bed, trying to have a light conversation with Asia without thinking about what had happened that afternoon. _

"_So, did Blink-" _

"_Shhhhh, quiet fa a sec" Asia said cutting her off. She turned her head to listen in on Lefty and Ringlets conversation. Cray stood up and sat next to Asia so she could hear better. _

"_So, when do ya think da wedding will be?" she heard Ringelts ask. _

"_I think in June, Race wants a summer wedding, but I don't want it ta be too hot, so da beginning of June seems good" Lefty replied. Asia gasped and stood up, prancing over to them. _

"_WEDDING?" she practically yelled as she walked. Cray got up and followed her. _

"_Wedding? What wedding is dis?" Asia repeated, pulling both of them to their feet. Neither of them answered; Ringlets looked down meekly and Lefty ran a hand through her hair nervously. Asia looked at each of them, smiling because she knew she'd found out something they did not want anyone to know. She loved gossip. She let them be silent for a bit more before she got impatient. _

"_TAYLAH!" she shouted before Lefty or Ringelts could stop her, "DERE'S GONNA BE A WEDDING!" an instant later Taylor appeared from the washroom, looking thoroughly annoyed with Asia. _

"_Asia, what's da matta, can't you see dere are goils heah tryin to sleep-"_

"_Jus wanted you ta be da foist ta congratulate us on da fact dat dere's gonna be a wedding" Taylor rolled her eyes, but Cray knew she was getting tense. _

"_What wedding? No one's getting married" she said, laughing, but looking around at each other them in turn, trying to see which one looked the guiltiest. She saw Lefty had grown pale, but Lefty always looked pale in an uncomfortable situation, and Ringelts was swaying back and forth nervously. She and Mush had been looking pretty cozy lately… _

"_Ringlets? What's dis all about?" she asked, trying to sound as nice as possible. The curly haired girl looked nervously down at Lefty, who Taylor now noticed had both her hands clasped behind her back. _

"_Lefty?" her head snapped up and her blue ices were dark and anxious. Taylor reached for her left hand, and caught it before Lefty had a chance to pull away. The ring glittered in the dim candle light that lit the room, and Asia let out a gasp of delight. Lefty was in for it. _

"_What's dis?" Taylor asked through gritted teeth. Lefty felt the tall girl's grip around her wrist grow tighter, and she wished Race was there. _

"_It's a ring" she answered sarcastically, determined not to let the taller, stronger girl know how frightened she was of her. _

"_A ring…any special kind of ring like, oh, let's say, an _engagement ring_?" Taylor yelled at Lefty, feeling her throat tense up. She did not believe what she was seeing. She did not believe the lovely little ring was really there, circled around Lefty's thin finger. How could this have happened? When? Why? Who had slipped this little silver thing onto her little girl's hand? Who wanted to take her away forever, changing everything the newsies had come to love, breaking up the care free, happy way of life Taylor didn't even realize she loved so much. This was so sudden, so strange. This, if it was true, was going to change things for everyone. It was going to make them think about their own futures. Taylor found herself confused by her own thought as she held Lefty's wrist firmly with one hand. Wasn't she always the one who wanted her girls to act more like proper, mature young ladies? Isn't this what she had always wanted? No, this wasn't what she'd always wanted, at least not for them. This was what she had always wanted for herself, to get married to her long-term boyfriend, move to the Upper-East Side, get a nice apartment, raise respectable children. She had been the one who had all of the poise and composure to get married and raise family, qualities that she was constantly teaching these girls that stood in front of her now. She had been the first of them to truly grow up, to really take on adult-like characteristics, and she had always thought she would be the first to take the next step into the adult world: marriage. Taylor would be married, then she would move away after a tearful good-bye to her still youthful little students, leaving them to carry on her legacy. Was it the fact that Lefty was now the one to live out her dream that brought tears to her eyes? Or maybe the prospect of losing one of her girls, one that she had always loves to teach and to correct. Had Taylor finally run out of things to teach Lefty? No, she had always had her hands full with Lefty and Asia, the more rebellious out of the older girls. Asia was always skanking around like some whore, and Taylor assumed she would always have to be scolding her for her behaviour. Lefty was a bit more distant, a bit more reserved with her relationship with Race, but Taylor still knew what they were up to late at night, and she never failed to ask her about it the next morning. Ringlets was the good one, the most modest and pure, the one who Taylor surly believed would follow in her footsteps as the girls' leader. Ringelts was the homey type, the girl Taylor would have picked any day as the next to get married, after her, of course. _

"_Taylah?" Lefty's voice made her watery eyes focus and she took a deep breath. _

"_You're getting married…" she said softly, listening to how the words sounded, "You're getting married" Lefty smiled a bit through her own tears, knowing Taylor wasn't angry at her. _

"_Yes, yes I'm getting married" she told her, crying and laughing a bit at the same time. Ringlets couldn't stand it anymore; she broke down into a fit of sobs and held both Lefty and Taylor to her in a tight hug. Cray and Asia stood outside of the little trio, watching. Asia shifted uneasily from side to side, reviewing everything over in her mind as if it were a play. She had just been at the Boys' Lodging House. She had pranced up the stairs to find Race, Blink and Mush sitting at a table, playing cards. She remembered swearing at Race as he took all of her boyfriend's money, wearing that silly smirk he always had. She had watched him stand up and light a cigar, running his hands through his dark, greased hair. She had ran her hands down Blinks chest, feeling his abs, his taunt muscle, and looking at Race's frail figure, wondering what Lefty saw in him. She wondered when he had asked her, and why she said yes. Asia's mind was strange, and even she didn't understand herself sometimes. To her life had always been about having a good time, and that meant parties, drinking, boys, and possibly most importantly, sex. She was living life in the moment, and loving every bit of it. To her, marriage was for stiffs, for the upper-class, maybe even for a scab. Marriage was like selling your soul away. Spending your entire life only being able to sleep with one person was completely absurd to her. At first the news of Lefty and Race's marriage didn't phase her, it was their stupid decision to live in poverty because well, it wasn't like Race had any money to support them and Lefty was probably pregnant already, because seriously, why else would you want to get married? But as she thought about it, she found the prospect of Lefty leaving the Lodging House saddening. The small little blue-eyed waif she had pushed around all her life was now growing up, much faster than she was. What did this marriage mean? Undoubtedly Race would take her away, maybe out of the city, though Asia doubted Race would want to live anywhere that wasn't in walking distance of a poker hall or racetrack. They'd have children, and that meant they'd have to stop being newsies and get real jobs, like lawyer or doctors or something stupid like that. Asia didn't know why she suddenly felt angry at Lefty. Maybe it was because her decision was making her think about the future, her own future, something she never thought about. The most she had ever thought ahead was what party she was going to go to the next day. She tried to push the thoughts out of her mind, but they kept creeping back, even when Ringlets opened her arms and Asia joined their embrace. What was she going to do now? Lefty and Race were leaving, things were going to change. What had she done with her life? She'd slept with more guys than most prostitutes had, and she'd sold a few papers. That record would really get far. She wanted to put some cold water on her face, but Ringelts and Taylor were holding her too tight. _

"_Congratulations Lefty" Asia managed to say, surprised at how sincere she sounded. This was all so new to her, she didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad one. Time would have to tell her that. _

_Cray stood back and watched the four girls hold each other tight. Lefty was in the middle, nearly being suffocated by Ringlets and Taylor, and Asia's broad arms held all of them close. They were all crying, and Cray realized she was the only one without damp cheeks. She wanted to put her arms around Lefty, to ask here about all this, like the other girls were, but she didn't feel right. For the first time she felt awkward in the presence of the other four. They had accepted her without hesitation into their little family, and now she realized how alien she was to them. They were sisters, and had grown up with each other, and this was a moment that they should have by themselves, even if Cray was supposed to be Lefty's best friend. It was easier like this anyways; it gave her a moment to think. Lefty and Race were getting married. She had woke up that morning, sold with Snipes, nearly gotten killed by Ray, and now Lefty and Race were getting married. It was the icing on the cake. As if she didn't have enough to deal with already. She wasn't being selfish, she wasn't angry at Lefty for giving the news at this moment; she just wished she had chosen a better time. If there was one thing Cray knew almost absolutely nothing about, it was marriage. She had never been to a wedding, she didn't know anyone who was married, her parents hadn't even been married. She knew people got married young; it was customary to be married before you were twenty, but she couldn't understand why Lefty would want to get married now. She wouldn't be sixteen for a few weeks, and Race had only turned sixteen a few months ago. Why would Race want to get married? This was all happening to fast for her. Suddenly Cray felt very distant from Lefty. Ever since she had arrived they had told each other everything, had no secret. She felt she should have been asked about this decision, or at least have been the first one to know. Who else knew? Did the boys? Did Spot? No, if Spot knew he would have told Cray, because he would have thought it would amuse her. One of his favourite things to do was make fun of Race. Still, marriage was completely foreign to Cray. No one was allowed to leave Le Maison du a Blanc de Monte because of marriage or children, so none of the girls Cray had known when she was younger ever got married. Then Cray realized something: marriage meant moving. Lefty and Race would have to move. Suddenly she didn't feel distant from Lefty anymore. She wanted to hug her and talk to her and tell her what happen today and how scared she was go back outside. Then she wanted to run over to the Boys' Lodging House and let Race beat her at blackjack, and then let him make her laugh until her stomach hurt like he always did. Race and Lefty were the two newsies Cray had been closest to, and now they were leaving. _

"_Cray," she heard Lefty say, and looked to see the tearful girl holding her arms out to her. Cray nearly ran into them, holding Lefty close and feeling the three other girls putting their arms around them. Cray loved hugs. She had felt them so little as a child that she tried to get them from the newsies as much as possible to make up for them. This one was special, and was not to be repeated. This was the last time the five of them would ever really feel like a family all together, before they would split up and create families of their own. Lefty would be the first to leave. She was the example the other girls would follow. She would have to do everything first, she would have to be the experiment. She was venturing into an area that Taylor had never been in, and therefore could not help her with. She felt Cray's tears falling onto her shirt, she felt Ringlets body shaking; she was crying so hard. Taylor kept looking at her with proud, sad eyes, and Asia shook her head at her, confused and pitying at the same time. This was the first time she had ever truly felt frightened of the agreement she had made. This was the first time she realized what was in the contract she had signed. She was leaving her girls; she was leaving this calm, safe place she had grown up in. She was frightened, frightened to leave, frightened to say good-bye to this life. She wished Race was frightened, but he never seemed to be. He'd always look at her and smile, happy with his little secret and completely confident in everything that was going to happen. For a moment Lefty wished she was a little girl again, a little girl who knew what was going to happen when she got older, so that she could appreciate the freedom she had. She sighed as all the girls kissed her cheek in turn. They would all have to do this, they would all have to leave someday and get married and have children, and she might as well be the first. _


	17. Chapter XVII

_Thanks for all my reviews…sorry I haven't updated in so long…go to fictionpress to read some of my newer stuff. Love you all, Lefty._

_"Dis really is crap. How many times have we been heah dis week?" Spot asked, slamming his cards down on the table and running a hand through his hair. He sat at the Jacob's kitchen table, for what seemed to be the hundredth time that week. Lefty and Race's wedding was only a week away, and he had decided that he never wanted to be part of a wedding ever again. Lefty had asked Cray to be her maid of honour, and the made of honour's boyfriend had to walk one of the bridesmaids down the aisle, which made Spot official part of the wedding party. Now he was stuck walking Taylor down the aisle, because Jack was taking Lefty and Cray had to go down by herself. He had to go to every stupid meeting they had to sort everything out, and the only benefit he could find was that Cray was there, and he could make-out with her in the closet whenever he wanted. Spot had actually been highly amused when Jack told him and his boys that Race had decided to marry Lefty. Spot knew nothing about marriage, but figured Race was just in love with her looks and thought it would be fun to get married. After a while though, Spot realized that the kid was serious, and so was Lefty, and he had told them both sincerely that he hoped they would be very happy together. That was it, wasn't it? Best wishes to the happy couple, see you at the wedding. Not exactly. Spot had assumed that putting the wedding together would have been a fairly simple process, but he hadn't realized that Taylor had put herself in charge. Poor Lefty had given up on telling her that she didn't want a big wedding, she didn't even want it in a church, but so many people wanted to come that Taylor wanted to make it "an event". Luckily Spot had gotten out of a lot of things Cray had to go to, such as the bridesmaid's dresses getting designed and fitted, the flowers, and so many other things. But with the wedding only a week away, the entire wedding party had to be at the Jacob's at least twice a day, yesterday the guy's were getting suits, today Mrs. Jacob's and the girls were working on Lefty's dress. Spot sighed, pulling Cray onto his lap, wondering why he had to be there. He didn't care what she wore. Spot looked across the table to where Race was sitting, smoking, talking to Blink. Spot hadn't known many people who were going to get married, but he was sure Race was the calmest one. He let Taylor and Lefty and the other girls worry about the wedding, all he really seemed to think about was showing up at the right time (which Blink and Mush often said he wouldn't). He just sat there, fanning himself with his hat, every once in a while looking towards the Jacobs' bedroom door in hopes that Lefty would come out, she'd been in there for hours. Spot played with the cards that were in Cray's hands. She'd been in there too, for a while, but she said Taylor was being a bitch and she never liked Mrs. Jacobs much. She said she "disapproved" of her. Personally, Spot didn't really blame her. He had been fairly shocked himself when he first found out Cray was going o be one of the Manhattan newsgirls. It had taken him a while to think of her as his girlfriend, not as the hot red-head whore he slept with every Saturday night. He looked at her hands, holding the cards loosely. They were lightly tanned now, from being outside so much, and her fingers were beginning to show the black ink traces that every lifelong newsie had. Her transition had helped him, and he almost thought he liked her better now. She was different, her personality had changed. He realized how little he knew about her when they started to really go out, and enjoyed getting to know her. He was quite satisfied with himself. Cray was the longest relationship he'd been in, and they first girl he'd ever broken up with and then got back together with. She was gorgeous and funny and smart, and loved having her in his lap like she was now, knowing that all he had to do was run a finger down her back and they'd be in the broom closet, making out like it was going out of style. Actually, that sounded like a good idea…_

"_Cray, you have da blue lace right?" Ringlets voice made Spot stop, annoyed. _

"_Yeah" Cray said, yawning. _

"_Taylah wants it" Cray hopped down off of Spot's lap and ran her hand down his chest before she walked off. _

"_Whoa, whoa, whoa, ya putting blue lace on da dress?" Spot heard Race ask. He looked over at him, watching him stand up, a serious frown on his face. He loved to do this, and it worked best with Ringelts. Spot was glad he was doing it; they needed a little entertainment. _

"_Well, what's wrong wit blue lace?" Ringlets asked, frowning slightly as Race walked towards her. _

"_Did I say you could put blue lace on da dress?" he asked her sternly. _

"_Well, no, but it really isn't your-" _

"_Isn't my what Ringlets, isn't my decision? I'm marrying her-everything is my decision. How dare you presume ta tell me dat everything is not my decision!" Race was yelling now, and everyone back at the table was laughing. Ringlets lower lip was trembling her eyes were getting big. Race started to yell at her again, until Taylor yelled "Fuck off Race" from the other room, and everyone burst out laughing. Race gave Ringlets a hug and she smacked his face playfully before he turned around and bowed to his audience. They'd done that to Ringlets since she was little, and it never stopped funny. _

"_Race, are you bein mean ta Ringlets?" said a voice they hadn't heard for a while. They all turned to see Lefty poking her pretty face out of the door way, a smile on her face. Race smiled. _

"_Jus a liddle bit" Lefty kissed him, and he pulled on her hair a bit. _

"_Can I see da dress?" he asked sweetly. That was the only reason he'd came to the Jacobs-he thought he'd be able to see her dress. All he knew about it was that it was going to be white. _

"_NO no no, absolutely not" Taylor's voice screeched from behind Lefty. Lefty flinched and closed the door a bit more so Race couldn't see her whole body. _

"_Help me" she whispered to him, wanting more than anything to take off the dress that was pinned on her and put on her regular clothes. She wanted Race to take her to their new apartment, so they could finish moving in. She felt so bad for him; he always came to these silly little meeting about the wedding Taylor loved to organize. He never complained, he always brought cards or did a little skit like he just did now, trying to make it more enjoyable or everyone. Neither of them realized getting married would require so much, but it did when Taylor was in charge. It was June now, and Taylor had started planning only a few days after they'd told everyone. For a while all they really worried about was the amount of people who wanted to come (there was over two hundred) and where they would have the reception, until Race made Lefty realize there was a lot more. He came into the Girls' Lodging House one night, where she was in the washroom in her nightgown, brushing her hair. He got her a coat and told her to come with him, that he had something to show her. Before she knew it she was standing next to him in front of an apartment buildings in the slightly nicer part of midtown. She'd just stood there, looking at the steps leading up to the neatly painted front door, and thinking about how strange it was that none of the windows were broken. He let her look at it, standing there on the dark street, until he finally told her a bit hesitantly that he thought it would be nice it they lived somewhere besides the Lodging House since they were going to be married soon. He was so scared that she wouldn't like it, that he almost cried with relief when he saw her burst into tears and told him it was the sweetest, most unexpected thing anyone had ever done for her. He had the key, and he led her up the front steps into the first floor, where their apartment was. It was small, but it was theirs, and Lefty had never lived with just one other person before. There a kitchen/living room area, and then in the back there was a bedroom, and a small side room that Race said they might have to turn into another bedroom someday. There was a small amount of furniture already there, a table, a bed, and the stove in the kitchen. Lefty held her breath, wanting to ask Race how he'd paid for it, if he had another job he hadn't told her about, but she way afraid if she did it would all go away, so she cried a bit more and told him she loved him over and over, until he started to laugh and pulled her in close to him, kissing her gently. Now Lefty wished she was there, and she held on to Race's hand tightly when Taylor started to pull her back into the room. Race blew her a kiss as the door closed, and Sarah Jacobs spun Lefty around and made her stand in front of the mirror again. She and her mother talked about the lace for a while, and Ringelts and Taylor were on the floor, fixing the bottom of the dress. Asia was on the bed, playing with her high-heeled, lace up shoes, and Cray was looking completely bored out of her mind. She and Spot were very similar in the fact that they both hadn't realized how much effort went into a wedding. She didn't want to be there, she wanted to be out and about with Spot, maybe in his room at the barracks, maybe at a bar or even just at Tibby's when it was empty. Ever since May when she'd had her close encounter with Ray at the Home of the White Rose, she'd felt better when Spot was around. He was exactly what she had needed. She'd gone to the barracks to see him right after Lefty had told them she was getting married. He made her feel better without even realizing it, and she didn't even tell him what had happened. He was just lying there on his bed with the window open, smoking, looking so relaxed and tan and perfect, and she laughed with happiness when she saw him. He kissed her for a long time, and then he told her she was damn sexy even though she was wearing overalls, and then they slept together and she felt a million times better in the morning when she woke up next to him. Sleeping with Spot seemed to have that effect on her. Cray sighed and played with the ribbons Ringlets had asked her to hold. She was supposed to go to Tibby's with everyone that evening—when would that be, around maybe, seven? It was five-thirty right now, and she was sure she could convince Spot to get out of there early…_

""_Cray, you can go" Cray's head snapped up. _

"_Hmm?" she asked Lefty, who was having her tiny waist measured. _

"_You can leave early, Asia already took off, you don't have ta stay if you don't want to" Lefty knew Cray was dying to get out of there, and if she couldn't she might as well let Cray go. _

"_Thanks Lefty" Cray said smiling, hanging the ribbon on the mirror and walking out the door. Back in the kitchen, Mush was chasing Les, who had stolen his hat, Blink was walking out the door with Asia, and Race was cheering on Jack as he arm-wrestled with Spot. Cray walked over and sat on Spot's lap, grabbing his hand and helping him pull Jack's down. _

"_Hey, dat's cheatin Cray, no faih!" Jack yelled as Race put his hands on theirs' and pulling them the other way, so Jack would win. In the end Spot ended up pulling so hard that Race was almost dragged up onto the table, because if he let go to their fists he would have gone flying backwards, and everyone else let go and fell back into their chairs. _

"_K, hand it ovah" Race demanded one he'd sat back down. Spot raised an eyebrow. _

"_No way Higgins, you know I beat Jackie-boy, you hand it ovah" Jack stood up in protest. _

"_Spot, when have you evah beat me?" _

"_Shut-up Kelly, I'm Spot Conlon—I always win, ain't dat right Cray?" Cray nodded and smirked at Race, who was rolling his eyes as he lit up a cigarette. _

"_Hey, Lefty said we could go…ya wanna go someweah, do something?" she said the last part a bit softer, making her voice a bit more sultry. Spot was definitely intrigued. _

"_Yeah, let's get outta heah" he put his hand on her hip and walked towards the door, before Race's voice stopped them. _

"_Hey, weah ya goin? I still gotta take all ya money Spot, ya can't leave now!" Cray rolled her eyes and tossed him a nickel, before following Spot out the door and into the hallway. He leaned in to kiss her, but she stepped back and took off his hat, smiling. Spot was not amused. He didn't like being resisted. _

"_Hey! What's dis?" he asked, annoyed. _

"_Fa not gettin me outta dere soonah" Cray grinned maliciously and took off running down the hallway to the stairs, making Spot chase her. She loved to do this to him; the more he chased her the more he would want her once he finally had caught her. She flew down five flights of stairs and burst outside laughing, hardly able to run. She felt Spot finally catch up with her and grab her around the waist, picking her up and practically carrying her to the Manhattan Boys' Lodging House (Brooklyn would have been too far, and there was no way he was going to chase her again). By the time they were going up the stairs Cray was taking his suspenders off, and he had her shirt halfway off. He had her up against the wall and was kissing her neck furiously when Cray head footsteps behind them. She let go of Spot's hair and put her feet back down on the floor (they had been wrapped around Spot's waist). He was still kissing her neck, as she looked over is should to see a little blonde creature clinging to the stairs, gazing up at them as if they were the most disturbing things she had ever seen. _

"_Spot…" Cray murmured, putting her hands on his tan arms and pushing him away from her so she could see better. _

"_What?" he breathed, looking behind him to see what she was staring at. When he saw he let his hands fall from where they were around Cray's waist and sighed. _

"_Ya know how I'll always recognize you Spot?" Julienne asked, her words faint, still gripping the stairs, "you've always got some goils lipstick smeahed all ovah ya face" Cray was sure Spot was going to yell at Julienne to get out, but he didn't, instead he seemed to sense before she did that something was wrong with her, and was the first to catch her as her eyes rolled backwards and she started to slip to the ground. Cray ran into the bunkroom and found Boots sitting on the floor, playing with marbles, and told him to run to the Jacobs' and get Taylor. By the time she arrived, Spot and Cray had laid Julienne down on Snipes bunk, and Spot had distanced himself from her as much as possible. He only moved from his place near the window when Taylor yelled at him to get some damp rags. Cray sat down in a chair near the bed while Taylor fussed over Julienne, not knowing that Cray knew her. Spot hung around for a bit longer, until he figured out that he and Cray weren't going to be able to do anything, and left, making sure to give Cray a deep kiss in front of Taylor before he did. One of the funniest things in the world to him was watching Taylor flip out when there was a public display of affection. Cray sighed after he left, the sun was setting and this was not how she had wanted to end her day. Taylor had gotten up to get them some coffee when Cray finally noticed Julienne had started to move. Her eyes fluttered open and she squinted up at the bunk above her, trying to figure out where she was. _

"_Hey," Cray said, taking the wet cloth off her forehead, "how ya feelin?" _

"_Like shit" Julienne replied, before coughing and rubbing her head. Taylor came in from the other room, and immediately tried to get her to drink the coffee she had gotten for Cray. _

"_I don't drink coffee unless it's got vodka in it," she said, pushing the cup away, "an I don't think that has" Taylor frowned and walked away, deciding not to bother wit the dirty, beat-up blonde who obviously thought she could take care of herself. Cray watched her go and walked over to Blink's bunk, reaching under his mattress and taking out a bottle of gin. Asia always kept liquor under her mattress and liked Blink to do the same, just in case she wanted to get drunk while she was "sleeping over". _

"_A'right kid, all we gots is gin, dat'll have ta do" Cray told her, holding out the half empty bottle. Julienne nodded and took it, pouring almost all of it into her cup. _

"_Now ya gonna half ta drink it all, cuz I won't have you fallin asleep while ya tellin me what happened" Cray said. Julienne didn't even try to get up or protest, but she did roll her eyes and reach for the bottle again, pouring the rest of it in her mouth. Cray leaned back in her chair and tied her hair up out of her face. _

"_You cut it" _

"_What?" _

"_You cut your hair." Cray looked at Julienne oddly. Yes, she had cut her hair. It fell now a few inches below her shoulders; before it had fell down to her lower ac in thick curls. She used to curl it nearly everyday, all of the girls did, but when you're a newsie you don't really have time to do that. Most of the girls just tossed it up in a loose bun in the morning. _

"_Yeah…I did, it was too much of a hassle long like it was" Julienne nodded and sipped her coffee. _

"_Desiree cut it too" she said. Cray sat up a bit. _

"_Oh really? Why? It was so beautiful" she asked, more to herself than to Julienne. Desiree had always had the best texture to her hair. It was thick and curly and a rich dark brown colour. Cray's had only been more famous because it was red. _

"_She sold it" Julienne said, careful to observe Cray's reaction out of the corner of her eye. She knew she felt guilty. She knew she'd seen what Le Maison du a Blanc de Monte had become, and she knew she blamed herself. Julienne had always been a bit of a sadist, but that wasn't why she was laying a guilt trip on Cray. She wanted her to go back. She wanted her out, out of the city, out of her life. She watched as Cray's face fell and smiled inwardly. _

"_Why…have things gotten dat bad?" she asked breathily. Julienne sat back on her pillow and gave a bit of a laugh. Cray played innocent very well. _

"_I suppose you don't realize how bad things are" Julienne stated, playing along with Cray, pretending she was fooled by her "I have no idea what's going" behaviour. Of course Julienne knew Cray had gotten chased out of the Home of the White Rose a few weeks ago. Cray knew exactly how bad things were, and Julienne would bet anything that she had been blaming herself ever since she saw what was going on. _

"_So, anyways, why did you come heah, who soaked you?" Cray asked, eager to change the subject. She didn't want to think about that, not right now at least. She wanted to get the information she needed out of Julienne, and then have her leave. _

"_Ah, ya know, Ray's guys." She said, shrugging. "Let meself fall asleep on a park bench in Brooklyn an gave me a bit of a wake-up call." _

"_Den why'd you come heah, wasn't da Barracks closa?" Cray asked. Julienne looked at her in that look she always gave the girls when they said something she thought was stupid. _

"_Did you see what Spot did wit me las time I showed up dere?" she asked, raising an eyebrow, "I wasn't exactly welcome." Cray sat back in her chair, sighing. Julienne smiled as she did, knowing she realized she wasn't going to get anything else out of her. Julienne was tough, and when she got soaked she sucked it up and slept it off in a back ally of something, but this time it had been bad. She wasn't Ray's kid sister anymore, she was his enemy. He had sent his boys out to kill her, and that's what they almost did. Julienne had been surprised that they didn't have a gun, only a knife, which would have slit her throat if she wasn't fast enough. But she was, and she had literally run for her life. She'd run until she knew she'd past out and die on the street if she didn't stop somewhere, and the Manhattan Boys' Lodging House was the first place she saw. The fact that Cray and Spot were there was a lucky coincidence. _

"_So, Lefty an Race is getting hitched" Julienne said, lighting a cigarette she'd found on the table next to the bed. Even she had to admit she was surprised when she heard the news, and she wondered how Cray was dealing with it. _

"_Yeah, dey are. You could probably go to da wedding, dey've already got so many people coming, dey probably wouldn't notice you" Cray told her, trying to be nice. She knew Julienne wouldn't come, and didn't want to come, she didn't need to here her cynical laughter to know that, but it didn't hurt to be nice. Lefty and Race's wedding was a better topic than the Home of the White Rose. _

"_So, dey'll be movin out den, I guess." Julienne asked, taking a drag from her cigarette. _

"_Yeah, dey already have an apartment" Cray told her._

"_Mmhmm. Now you'll know what it's like to have someone just get up and leave, not even thinking about what they're doing to everyone else." Julienne said, blowing smoke out and yawning. Cray frowned, knowing where the conversation was heading. _

"_What are you talkin about Julie?" she asked, using the name only Ray was permitted to call her, hoping to touch a nerve. Julienne's face remained, however, unchanged. _

"_You an imagine how everyone felt." Julienne mused, blowing smoke into Cray's face, "Dey're best friend gone, someone who'd always been dere for support…lead dancah, Ray's favourite…ya jus, up an left" _

"_How would you know, you weren't even dere half da time" Cray shot back. She knew this was going to happen. She knew leaving was going to come back to slap her in the face. "What, did you suddenly show up ta be everyone's best friend when I left? It's not like everyone loved you" _

"_Well leaving didn't exactly boost your reputation" _

"_And it helped yours? You're da one wid ya own brotha chasing you around da city, wanting you dead or alive! Don't talk ta me about havin a reputation" Julienne smiled and put her cigarette out. Cray was fighting a losing battle. There was nothin she could say to shake her, and the angrier she got at Julienne the more inwardly upset she was with herself. Now she was emotionally unstable, out of breath from yelling and gripping the edge of her chair. Maybe she should have kept some of that gin for herself. She felt like Race felt when he was nervous: she couldn't stop her eyes from darting nervously around the room, her hands were shaking, and she needed a cigarette badly. She struck a match and lit one from her pocket inhaling and feeling the smoke travel through her body, calming her nerves. If she didn't look out she'd be as addicted as Race was. _

"_Ya know, I'm feelin a hell of a lot betta. Give my best wishes ta Race an Lefty" Julienne said, standing up and rubbing the bruise on her forehead gently. Her job was done, or half done at least. She had gotten Cray thinking about everything, and she'd probably be thinking about it straight through Lefty's wedding. Maybe she's stop by in a month, or earlier if something happen. Julienne sighed and put her cap on her head, walking out of the bunkroom, not even looking to see if Cray was still sitting, smoking nervously, which she was. She'd wait until Cray'd left the Lodging House for Tibby's, then she'd climb the fire escape to the roof where she'd sleep for the night. No more park benches for a while. _


	18. Chapter XVIII

_Lefty thought that she would be more nervous the morning of her wedding. She woke up to Asia yelling in her ear "Get up bitch ya gots ta get married!" at seven, and had to use her own sleeve to wipe Ringlets first set of tears off her cheeks. It wouldn't be her last. Taylor let the five of them sleep in, not even bothering to make sure the other girls all got outside to sell. It was a gorgeous day in mid-June, perfect for the outdoor wedding. Mush had suggested only a few days before that they get married at the foot of the Horace Greeley statue, and Taylor kept glancing outside nervously, hoping it wasn't going to rain. It wasn't until eight that Lefty finally decided to get out of bed, and only because Taylor had managed to find scones for them all to have for breakfast. _

"_So, ya haven't seen Race fa what, ten hours?" Asia asked as they all sat on Taylor's big bed, eating and drinking coffee, "how are you surviving?" _

"_Now stop it Asia, you know it's against da rules" Taylor pushed Asia gently, scolding her. Ever a slave to tradition, Taylor had pulled Lefty and Race apart from each other mid-kiss at ten o'clock the night before. Taylor Jack, Lefty, Race, Ringlets, Mush, Asia, Blink, and Spot and Cray had all been at Tibby's last night, talking about old stories and playing a good-bye poker game. Lefty actually felt strange waking up and not rolling over to see Race sleeping beside her. The girls talked for a while, about everything, how strange it would be when Lefty was gone, how Ringlets didn't want anyone else to take her bed, how Asia thought the marriage would last a month before Race had an affair, how Taylor promised to come over the next day and teach Lefty to cook, how Cray didn't know what a wedding was like, and wished she and Lefty could have lived together for more than just a year. They all cried and hugged each other and Lefty told each of them she loved and them like sisters and would never grow out of being a newsie. Around ten Taylor shrieked and Asia jumped off the bed, running into the bathroom. _

"_What is it? We still have an hour" Cray asked them. _

"_Exactly! An hour, and there's so much to do!" Lefty rolled her eyes and hopped off the bunk, wandering into the washroom slowly, yawning, just so Taylor would look at her and wonder how calm she could be when she was getting married in an hour. Asia was having Ringlets take out the rags she'd wrapped around her hair the night before so it would curl, and Taylor was getting out their dresses. The bridesmaid dresses were all the same style: long, light flowing material with thin straps. Every girl had one in the colour that Lefty suited them best. Taylor was pale yellow, Ringlets pale pink, Cray's light, springy green, and Asia's, of course red. Lefty let her wear the seductive colour, but didn't let her have it shortened or the neckline lowered. They all showered and brushed their teeth, and Asia and Ringlets did their make-up (it always took them a while). Taylor took Lefty and Cray into the bunkroom where the dresses were hanging. She and Cray slipped on their gowns, and Lefty sat down, watching them do their hair. She felt a small pain in her stomach as she realized she wouldn't get gussied up for parties with them anymore, or use up all the hot water so Asia's shower would be cold, or pin Ringlets dresses so they'd be to tight on her and she'd think she'd gained weight. She sighed and closed her eyes, inhaling the scent of coffee and perfume that was lingering in the room. She leaned back on Cray's bunk, playing with her long hair. In an hour she'd be married. That's a lot for a sixteen year old girl to take in. Just then there was a knock on the door, and Taylor sprung up from her chair where she was fixing Ringlets curls, running down the aisle of bunks and throwing herself at the door, holding it shut. _

"_Race, I sweah ta God, if you come in dis room, I will-" _

"_Relax Taylah, it's just us" Blink voice was heard from outside the door. _

"_We've got some urgent business wit da bride" Mush's voice said, making Ringlets perk up. Lefty stood up and walked towards the door, motioning to Taylor to open it. Mush and Blink both stood there, grinning, dressed in white shirts and ties. Blink's tie was red, to match Asia's dress, and Mush's was pink, to match Ringlets. _

"_Nice tie" Lefty remarked, laughing. _

"_I'll let dat one go cuz it's ya weddin day" Mush said, kissing her cheek. _

"_So whatta you guys doin heah?" Lefty asked, eyeing the long white box under Mush's arm, "Blink, you can't be heah ta see Asia, you wouldn't recognize her, she's hasn't got her make-up on yet." _

"_I hoid dat!" Asia yelled from the washroom. _

"_Well, we jus woke up dis mornin an realized dat da only thing you get ta hold on to when ya goin down da aisle is Jack's arm, and dat's kinda boring, so…" Blink opened the box to reveal a dozen white roses, tied with a blue ribbon. _

"_Oh you guys, dey're beautiful" Lefty said, Taylor looking over her shoulder at them, gasping. Roses did not come cheap. _

"_We thought you'd be wearin white, but I guess-" _

"_What? Oh no, dis isn't my dress," Lefty said, looking down at her pale pink nightgown. The four of them laughed and Lefty kissed both of them, and they tried to catch a glimpse of their girls before Taylor sent them away. _

"_Ok, let's get you into dat dress" she said after she'd put the flowers aside. Lefty nodded and pulled off her nightdress, letting Taylor lace up her corset. She put on a thin petticoat and stepped into the dress, standing in front of the mirror as Taylor did up the hundreds of tiny little buttons in the back. Lefty loved the dress, she really did, it was perfect. All of the girls, even Medda, Mrs. Jacobs and Sarah had a different idea of how it wanted to look, but Lefty hadn't let any of them take over the design, and she made sure she was always there when it was being worked on. It had come out a bit plain but elegant, and everyone told it was more beautiful than anything they could have designed. The fabric was light and silky, which was good because it was already hot outside. The bottom of it was long and trailed a bit behind her, and she didn't wear a hoopskirt or three petticoats like Taylor had wanted her, because she'd wanted the skirt of the dress to flow down fairly straight to the ground, with a little poof at the bottom to hide her feet. The top was tight, made of the same silky fabric as the bottom until it hit her chest, and then it became white lace with light blue threads sewn in to match er crystal blue eyes. There were almost no sleeves, only a bit of white lace sewn over each shoulder so they wouldn't be completely bare. The neck wasn't high, but it wasn't low, and Taylor had done the corset so her waist was tiny, but only a very small amount of cleavage peeked out. The dress was gorgeous, and Lefty was gorgeous in it. Taylor pulled her almost all the way up into an elaborate bun, so only a few loose curls hung down. _

"_Make-up?" Taylor asked. Lefty shook her head. _

"_Not today" The other girls started to come in now, each looking lovely in their dresses. Cray gasped. She hadn't realized the dress would look that good. She decided right there that her best friend was the most truly beautiful and graceful person she had ever seen, and would ever now. Lefty was stunning. She practically glowed. _

"_It's not faih!" Ringelts cried, flinging her arms around Lefty's minuscule waist. _

"_What isn't faih?" Cray asked. _

"_I ain't gonna be able to fit into dis dress fa my wedding!" she sobbed. Everyone let out a little laugh and wrapped their arms around Lefty, trying not to cry and mess up their make-up or stain her dress with tears. _

"_So is dis what you newsgoils do den? Grow up an live happily evah aftah? When is it my toin?" Cray asked, brushing a red curl out of her wet eyes. Lefty laughed through her own tears. _

"_I guess so," she said. _

"_You'll hafta wait ya toin kid, Lefty jus at da front a da line" Taylor said, pulling away and wiping her eyes. They all pulled away and looked at each other in the mirror, getting ready to go downstairs. _

"_Oh wait a sec!" Asia yelled as they walked towards the door. She ran to her bunk and pulled out something from under the mattress. _

"_I thought you should have dis Lefty, ya know, fa ya weddin night" she said, handing Lefty a light blue and white lace garder. They all laughed and Lefty hugged her, quickly sliding it up her thigh. _

"_Race betta take caeh a you" Ringlets said, hugging her once more. _

"_He will" a voice said from out in the hallway. They all looked out the door to see Jack standing there in a white shirt and yellow tie, his hair slicked back. He kissed Taylor quickly before taking Lefty's hand. _

"_Dis is it kid, ya ready?" he asked. She smiled and nodded, and the six of them walked down the stairs and out the warm June morning. _

_"Jesus Christ Race! How can you be playin pokah at a time like dis?" Blink looked down at his best friend, who was sitting at a table in the bunkroom, still in the clothes he had slept in, dealing out cards to Dutchy and Skittery. Race looked up at him and grinned impishly, a cigar hanging out of the side of his mouth. Blink shook his head in amazement, knowing if he were going to get married in an hour and a half he'd be freaking out. But Race just sat there, taking all of Skit and Dutchy's money, looking as relaxed as he always was. But Blink couldn't see his hands shaking as he held the cards. Blink didn't know how many cigarettes he'd smoked since he'd gotten up at five-thirty and gone for a walk around the city. This was it. He had thought he had it easy, watching the girls try on dresses, picking out ties to match; getting married was easier than he'd thought! The apartment was the hardest thing he'd done so far, that and not telling anyone he'd been working part time filling out paperwork at Sheepshead Races down in Coney Island. But this was the toughest thing he'd had to do so far. So far the best thing that had happened today was when Jack opened a bottle of scotch for everyone to kick off the day, and Race had the chance to get a little bit of alcohol flowing through his veins to keep him from tearing his hair out. Everyone was joking around with him, about how today was his last day of freedom, how it still wasn't to late to back out, how if he wanted they could rally up a few strippers to amuse him for a while. He played along, but all he really wanted to do was to run across the street, grab Lefty, and hop a train to Boston. Eloping seemed like a really good idea right now. _

"_Hey, earth ta Racey" Race blinked and saw Mush waving his hand in front of his face, Blink standing behind him. _

"_What?" _

"_We's jus gonna pop ovah ta see da goils…want me ta kiss Lefty fa ya?" Blink asked. Race smirked and stood up, hitting Blink casually on the back of his head and stretching. _

"_Dat's ok, I'll take caeh a da kissin, why ya goin ovah dere anyways? Taylah'll prolly bite ya head off" he asked as they walked towards the door. _

"_Flowahs" Mush answered. _

"_Flowahs? What for, don't dey already have flowahs?" Race asked, wondering if he was supposed to get flowers for everyone. He probably was and forgot. He had no short term memory what-so-ever. _

"_Jus worry about gettin dere on time, k Race?" Blink said, before they walked out the door. Race covered his mouth so he wouldn't scream out of frustration. He hated waiting for things. He ran a hand through his hair and walked into the washroom, taking a cold shower, hoping it would make him feel better. It did, a little bit, and he thought of the night before as he combed his hair. It was around ten and he'd been at Tibby's with everyone else, drinking and talking about old times. He'd wanted to take Lefty for a walk down the pier; they hadn't really had a lot of time to talk that day, and he wanted to be alone with her. Taylor had announced at exactly the wrong moment that it was against some stupid rule for them to see each other until the next day. Race decided right then that he didn't like Taylor very much. _

"_Heya Race" Jack said as he came up behind him, clamping his hand down on Race's shoulder. He was fixing his tie, and after he did he spit-shook with Race. _

"_So, ya ready?" he asked, looking down at Race, who was wearing black pants, no shirt, and his suspender down around his waist. _

"_Yeah, let's go" Race responded, grinning. Race asking Lefty to marry him had caused an invisible rift between him and his leader. Jack used to love to tell him about how he was going to take Taylor to Santa Fe with him and marry her, and Race sometimes felt like he was going on his friend's adventure. The two walked out of the washroom and over to Race's bunk, where he put on a new white shirt and began to button it, looking up at Jack as he did. _

"_Won't have ta worry about leavin da window unlocked fa you when you come back from da tracks late" Jack said, breaking the uncomfortable silence. _

"_Yeah, I'll have ta tell Lefty ta do dat now" the two smiled at each other, each thinking about different things. Race thought about after his mother died and he'd run away from home, and Jack, only two years older, had taken him to the Lodging House and showed him how to be a newsie. Jack thought about how strange it was that the skinny, smartass Italian he had always looked on as a little brother was growing up faster than he was. Race tucked in his shirt and tied his black tie loosely around his neck. _

"_Weah'd we get dese from anyways, Dentin?" he asked, making Jack laugh. _

"_I dunno, jus be glad yours isn't yellow" he said, and Race smirked, a smirk Jack would miss seeing everyday. _

"_K, let's go" Race said, rolling up his sleeves nervously. _

"_No jacket?" Jack asked. _

"_Nah, it's jus a weddin" they both laughed and walked downstairs and outside. They stopped abruptly as they walked out the front door. It was gorgeous outside, warm and sunny, with flowers everywhere on the trees and a light breeze in the air. A few of the boys had managed to steal some chairs from Tibby's to line up on either side of the Horace Greeley statue to make an aisle, because newsies just didn't have red velvet carpets lying around. There was no priest, so Mush had graciously offered to get a Bible from the Midtown Chapel and make the ceremony proper. Almost everyone was standing or sitting, waiting for the wedding to begin, and Race kept craning his neck to see if Lefty was around anywhere. _

"_Dis is it kid, ya newsie days are ovah" Jack said as he hugged him. Race shrugged and smirked, shaking hands with his friend and leader, leaving out the spit for once. _

"_Thanks Cowboy, fa everything" Race said sincerely, and Jack nodded, understanding. _

"_Well, I'se gotta go find da bride" he said, walking off, leaving Race to stand alone, biting his lower lip with impatience. A second later Mush appeared with Ringlets standing next to him, and he asked everybody to sit down. He started with a few jokes, gave a bit of a best man speech, shook hands with Race, and beckoned for everyone to start walking down the aisle. First came Taylor in her long yellow dress, her arm linked with a very uncomfortable looking Spot. Next came Asia and Blink, Asia looked almost modest in her dress, but kept throwing this seductive glances at Blink. Cray came next, by herself, her green dress going perfectly with her red hair and green eyes. She seemed slightly out of place, but smiled at everyone and took her place next to Spot. Finally everyone turned and looked towards the end of the aisle to Jack and Lefty walking towards the alter, Jack grinning at everyone and Lefty glowing. _

"_Wow" Cray heard Mush whisper. _

"_My little goil" Taylor said quietly. _

"_Jus look at her" Blink said in awe. And they did, all of them. Ringlets saw the girl she'd kept secrets for and who'd comforted her when she cried. Asia saw the girl she'd been secretly jealous of since age ten, and the girl she used to be afraid would take Blink away from her. Jack saw the girl who'd transformed Race into another person, and stole his heart forever. Mush saw the girl he'd hoped his friend would grow up and marry, though a little sooner than expected. Taylor saw they girl she'd treated like a daughter, and wasn't ready to let go of. Blink saw the girl he'd first fallen in love with one day at the tracks, and still kicked himself for letting Race get her first. Cray saw the girl who excepted her so readily as her best friend, who introduced her to the newsies, and who she wished wasn't leaving her so quickly. And Race saw the first and only girl who could make his heard skip a few beat, his hands shake, and who held the power to make him do anything. The first girl he'd ever kissed, slept with, loved, and gave a ring to. They all watched as Jack gave her a kiss on the cheek and she stood facing Race, smiling softly. _

"_Me deah friends," Mush began, "we are gathered heah taday ta witness da joining of dese two newsies togedda in Holy Matrimony" several people laughed at Mush, who was busily tearing through the Bible, looking for the section with the marital verses. In the end he gave up and grinned sheepishly at everyone before putting the Bible down at putting his arms around both Race and Lefty's shoulders._

"_Do you, Racetrack, take Lefty ta be ya wife?" Race nodded, his brown eyes growing hopeful as he looked down at Lefty, wondering if she would say the same thing. _

"_I do" _

"_An do you, Lefty, take Racetrack ta be ya husband?" _

"_Yes, I do" Mush grinned happily and stepped away from them, standing in the aisle looking at everyone watching. _

"_Newsies, I give you, Mista an Missus Racetrack an Lefty Higgins!" Everyone clapped and cheered while Race leaned down to kiss Lefty. _

"_Hey! We'll have none a dat until everybody agrees" Mush said, breaking them apart. "Whatta ya think, should we let him kiss her?" _

"_Yes!" Everyone yelled back at him, except for Spot, who yelled "No!" and got a slap from Taylor. Race held Lefty close and kissed her softly while everyone cheered, Ringlets cried and Asia and Cray threw rice into the air, because Medda had told them that was what you did at the end of a wedding. _

_Cray sat at a table in Tibby's, a champagne glass in her hand. She took a sip and set it down on the white tablecloth, noticing that this was probably the first time in history the tables at Tibby's ever had tablecloths on them. The room was already packed with people, even though the reception had just started. Race and Lefty weren't even there; they had gone down to the Midtown town hall to sign the marriage licences. There were already over a hundred people there, packed into the room and waiting to get in outside. Cray was at a table in the back, Asia and Blink next to her, making out like there was no tomorrow. Spot had gone with Jack to talk to Mr. Tibby about opening up the room on the second floor to put people in, because the only other place they could go was the roof and thee were already people up there. Cray wished he would come back; she wanted to talk to someone and neither Asia or Kid Blink were not at liberty to do so. Watching Race and Lefty get married was very surreal, and Cray almost didn't believe it had just happened. She felt sort of left out of the party right now. Ringlets and Mush were up talking to people, Taylor was making sure everyone who came in at least remotely knew Race or Lefty, and a newsie from the East Side kept winking at her from the bar. _

"_K baby, I'm back" Cray looked up to see Spot leaning on the table. She was determined not to let him know how sexy she thought he looked. _

"_I'm so glad, I didn't know what I was gonna do witout out you" he smirked and took the champagne glass out of her hand, finishing the rest himself. _

"_Hey-" _

"_Shhhh, look who finally decided ta show up at dere own reception" Cray looked over the throngs of people in the room to see Jack moving people aside, so Lefty and Race could get in. Cray didn't think she'd ever seen them both looking so happy at the same time, but they were. Race was grinning broadly with his arms wrapped around Lefty's front, and she was smiling happily, tilting her head back to kiss his neck and whisper thing in his ear. Spot pulled Cray up and they both walked forward so they wouldn't be in the back and could see what was going on. Everyone was applauding them, and Cray kept standing on her tiptoes to see where they were. Finally Jack realized how short they both really were, and had them both stand on a table so everyone could see them. Blink jumped up on a chair and raised his glass._

"_Ta Mista an Missis Higgins!" he shouted across the room. Everyone echoed him and raised their glasses to the very happy couple. Race kissed Lefty deeply like he always used to do in front of everyone at Tibby's, only this time everyone didn't moan and tell them to get a room. Cray leaned on Spot chest, clapping for her best friend's bliss. _

"_So how many people were betting dey wouldn't make it through da wedding?" Spot asked in her ear. Cray laughed, names popping up in her mind. Race was saying something but she couldn't hear as Spot pulled her into a long kiss. Maybe they wouldn't have to stay through the entire reception after all…_

"_Hey, would you two break it up? I don't like havin competition" Cray pulled away from Spot and looked over at Asia, who was getting her lipstick all over Blink's face. Cray looked up to the front of the room to see Race swinging Lefty down off the table, and the party began. Cray was seated at a large table with Race and Lefty, Taylor and Jack, Asia and Blink, and Mush and Ringelts. Food was brought out and the music started, and soon Jack was pulling Taylor up to dance. Lefty and Race were unable to get up with so many people coming at them, talking to and congratulating them, and Asia and Blink weren't helping them at all. Cray sat on Spot's lap, neither of them quite feeling like dancing, but helped themselves to Jack and Taylor's abandoned cake. Hours past, it was early evening, and more people had arrived. The dancing hadn't stopped, jazz music was blaring from the record player, and everyone had had too much to drink. Asia and Blink had done it in the broom closet twice, Ringelts was dancing with Jack, Mush and Blink were dancing with Lefty at the same time, and Race was sitting on a table having champagne with Taylor, on a bet to see how drunk he could get her before ten. Spot was slurring all his words together, spinning Cray around the dance floor, bumping into everyone else, and then yelling at them for bumping in to him. _

"_Oi, we thinks you've had enough dancing for now" Blink said, quite drunk himself, pushing Spot and Cray down into their chairs with some help from Mush. _

"_Hey, who da you-" Spot really didn't have time to finish because Cray pressed her lips against his crawling onto his lap and running her hands through his hair. She had decided a while ago that she liked weddings very much. _

"_Can't even yaself sobah at a weddin, can ya?" Spot broke the kiss and looked past Cray at the person who was standing in front of the table, her hands on her hips, clothes torn, black smudges on her face. _

"_Twitch? What da hell a you doin heah?" Cray fell off Spot's lap sloppily and stared at Julienne, finding it difficult to keep her eyes focused. _

"_Cray invited me" the dirty blonde answered in a sickly sweet tone. Spot looked at Cray angrily and reached for the champagne bottle, annoyed when he found it empty. _

"_Whatta a ya doin heah Julienne, droppin off a wedding present?" Cray asked, raising an eyebrow. Julienne's smiled unsettled her. _

"_I've got somethin ta tell you Cray," she said, moving towards the table, "but I'm afraid ya too drunk ta undastand" Cray frowned and looked down at herself. Her shoes were off, on of the straps off her dress was hanging off, most of her hair had fallen down into mess, loose, red curls, and her cheeks were flushed from dancing and liquor. She knew she looked like she was going to pass out any second. _

"_I ain't too drunk, what da hell is it?" she asked, pulling her dress strap and moving a red curl out of her face. _

"_Well I ain't too drunk eitha, an I'd like ta be" Spot said, getting up and heading to the bar. Julienne smiled. The entire affair would be easier without Spot being there. She grinned, almost overly excited about what she was about to tell Cray. _

"_Siddown" Cray said, slurring the two words together, wondering if she really was too drunk to understand what Julienne was going to tell her. She kicked the chair across from her and it slid out so Julienne could sit in it. The small girl plopped down in the chair and sat back, putting her feet up on the tablecloth. Cray couldn't wait for the moment Taylor saw her and bawled her out for dirtying it. She lit a cigarette and took a drag with her eyes closed, smiling contentedly and crossing her arms over her chest. _

"_A'right Julienne, what"_

"_Cray, dis is gonna be hahd, and I dunno if I'm da right person ta tell ya, but no one else probably will, so…" _

"_Jus tell me what da hell it is" Cray asked, knowing Julienne was enjoying ever second of irritating her like this. _

"_The Home of the White Rose" she began, looking up with a wistful look as though she was remembering a fond memory. _

"_Yeah, what about it?" Cray asked, feeling slightly sick to her stomach. _

"_It's gone" Julienne's voice dropped into a dark, serious tone as the words came out, and she looked at Cray directly in the eye. _

"_Whatta ya mean 'gone'?" the redhead asked, sitting up and growing tense. _

"_It's gone. It burned down las night" Cray's mouth fell open in shock and Julienne took another drag from her cigarette. It wasn't possible; Julienne must have been teasing her. She knew she was halfway to being dead drunk, and was taking advantage of her. Besides, if it really had burned down, it would have been in the paper. But she hadn't sold that morning, Cray realized sullenly, none of the newsies had. _

"_You're…you're lying, I know you are." The blonde girl shook her head, "shut up Julienne, don't scare me like dat" _

"_It's gone Cray, I'm not kidding. Someone threw a torch in da kitchen window an it hit da stove an spread…it's gone. Nothin's left" Cray felt breathless and weak, sitting there in her chair. She knew it was true, she felt it, and she knew Julienne wouldn't bother herself with coming to Lefty and Race's wedding reception just to play a trick on her. She didn't know quite what to do. Spot was expecting her to go back to the barracks in Brooklyn with him after the party, that was a given. She wondered if anyone had been hurt, or worse. She wondered where everyone was, and what they were going to do. Julienne watched her with a smug look of satisfaction on her face. She knew exactly what Cray was thinking, feeling, wondering. She hadn't plan for Le Maison du a Blanc de Monte to burn down, it was just a lucky coincidence. She had never imagined anything like that could have happened, and when she got news that it had she nearly laughed with glee. Her brother was dead; he had actually shot himself the day before, that Cray still didn't know. Desiree, Aly and the other girls that hadn't been hurt or died in the flames were currently staying in a room at the city's orphanage, if they hadn't already run away or found somewhere else to live. The entire situation fitted into Julienne's plan so perfectly: Cray would have to go and see the girls, realize how awful things really had gotten, how extreme. She would have to leave then, the guilt would be too much for her to handle, Julienne was sure of it. She knew Cray, and she knew Cray would blame herself for everything the other girls had to go through. Julienne almost had to stop herself from laughing as she watched Cray's face grow paler and paler. _

"_Is anyone…did anyone-" _

"_Ray died, some a da goils died, a lot a da staff didn't get out in time," Julienne explained, tapping the ashes from her cigarette into someone's scotch glass that was on the table. Cray didn't know what to think about Ray dying. The news made her mind relax involuntarily, and she realized she'd be able to walk around outside freely know without worrying about one of his guys lurking around a corner. Still, she did feel sorry, and wondered why Julienne seemed so casual about her only relative's death. _

"_Desiree, Aly?" she wondered aloud. _

"_Dey're in da orphanage downtown" Julienne said it simply, but it made a thousand questions pop up in Cray's mind. She'd have to go see them, not tonight, but the next day. She wondered what they would say to her, what they were planning to do. They'd have to work now, really work; Cray doubted they had any money and knew neither of them would like living in an orphanage. Julienne was saying something to her, but she didn't hear. She felt sick, maybe from the alcohol, but more from the news she'd just received. She looked over at Julienne, sitting there so haughtily, hating her for it. Why did she have to come now, right in the middle of the biggest party of the year, ruing Cray's evening. She could have told her quite easily first thing tomorrow morning; but Julienne had wanted it to be like this, Cray realized with disgust. She didn't know why, but she knew Julienne had wanted to ruin her evening, make her feel guilty, which she did, even though she tried not too. She hated Julienne for doing this to her, and she began to shift the guilt from herself onto Julienne. It was Julienne's fault this happened, not hers. She wouldn't even have known about anything if it wasn't for her. It was her brother that had been after her, and Julienne had probably told him where she lived and how to find her, Cray thought bitterly. She looked over to where Race was twirling Lefty around the dance floor, knowing better than to tell Lefty what had just happened. Cray stood up and walked towards the bar, and heard Julienne walking out the door. _

"_Gimme a--" Cray felt her head grow heavy and decided she wasn't going to drink away her sorrows, at least not that night. Her body felt very tired, and she knew if she stayed standing much longer she'd drop to the floor. She looked over to the center of the room where everyone was dancing and saw Spot in the middle of everything, laughing with Jack and Asia as Blink danced crazily around with Mush. Cray pushed her way past everyone until she found the only person in a long white dress, and turned her around. Lefty's cheeks were flushed and her eyes were blazing with energy as she smiled at Cray broadly. Race was behind her, with his tie off and suspenders down around his waist, his hands on Lefty's arms, moving her back and forth to the beat of the song. _

"_Heya kid, some pahty huh?" he said, smirking. Cray smiled weakly at him and looked at Lefty, wondering how anyone could be so happy. _

"_It's great," she said to Race, and took Lefty's hand in hers, "listen, I'm gonna head out early, you don't mind do ya?" she asked, wishing she had the strength to stay up into the morning with everyone. Lefty looked concerned for a split second, but then Jimmie Wilson from Brooklyn came up and said something in her ear. She nodded at him and turned back to Cray, already beginning to be led off by Jimmie. _

"_Yeah, sure Cray, have a good time" she said distractedly as she disappeared into the crowd. Cray sighed and picked up the back of her dress so no one would step on it as she walked out of the restaurant. As she stepped outside she felt an immediate sensation of calmness, and quickly walked away from Tibby's so Spot wouldn't see her from the window and come after her. She walked into the Girls' Lodging House and dragged herself up the stairs, stumbling into the bunkroom, not even realizing she was crying. With blurred vision she fell down on her bed, pulling her dress up over her head, burying her face in it, sobbing. It smelled like cigarette smoke and alcohol, and that reminded her of Spot, which made her cry harder for some reason. Eventually she fell back onto her pillow, face wet with tear stains, falling asleep in only her corset and panties, as she had done so often before. _

_Lefty leaned up against the wall of Tibby's trying her hardest not to be noticed, which is hard considering she was the only person in the room in a long white dress, and the entire reason the party is going on is because of her. She couldn't believe the reception was still in full swing; it must have been at least two-thirty in the morning, and she was dead tired. She scanned the room for Race, wanting desperately to find him and tell him to take her home. Instead of finding Race she made eye-contact with Blink, who set down his whisky glass and practically ran over to her, offering his hand to dance with her for the thousandth time that night. _

"_Lefty, dahling, dance wit me!" he exclaimed, picking her up by her tiny waist and pulling her out towards the dance floor. Lefty shook her head. _

"_Nah Blink, no more dancing fa me" she said, mock yawning. Dancing with Blink was the last thing she wanted to do. She wanted Race to come and carry her all the way to their little apartment, take of the blue garder she'd been wearing all day and make love to her. _

"_Aw, why not" Blink pouted. _

"_Have you seen Race?" Lefty asked, practically yelling over the music. The record player was going to break if it kept playing at that volume. _

"_Looking fa me?" Lefty felt herself being spun around and swept into a kiss, and she smiled when she broke it to see Race's delighted grin. She threw her arms around neck and leaning into him, standing on her tips toes to whisper in his ear. _

"_Take me home" she said and yawned, this time for real. Race smiled and nodded before hopping onto a table and motioning for Blink to turn the music off. He whistled and everyone stopped talking and looked up at him. _

"_A'right" he began, "I'd like ta thank ya all fa comin ta me liddle pahty, but I'm afraid it's time fa me an da missis ta leave fa our honeymoon" he winked and got a loud series of hoots and whistled from the newsies in response. _

"_Arrivederci" he said before jumping down off the table, not staying to hear the cheers and catcalls from everyone. He kissed Lefty on her forehead and put his arm around her shoulders, brushing away the people who stood between them and the door, begging them so stay. There was probably some law about not leaving your own wedding reception before everyone else had, but neither of the really cared. The trolleys weren't running at two-thirty in the morning, so they walked the three blocks to their apartment, Race waltzing down the sidewalk until Lefty said she'd drop dead if she danced anymore. So he picked her easily and to their apartment, stopping for a moment outside of the building under a dying streetlight. Her hair had fallen down in long, smooth curls hours ago from all the dancing, and her cheeks were still pink. Her eyes were a clear, crystal blue and they pierced through him like they always did. _

"_Mia bella princespessa" she smiled; he called her his beautiful princess so often she should have been tired of it, but she never was. He picked her up again and carried her up the steps to the front door opening it and taking her inside and into their apartment. He let her down and she shut the door by pushing his body against it, kissing him deeply. He broke it and took his jacket off her shoulders and pulled his cap off his head, dropping them both on the floor. She followed him into their bedroom and gently fell onto the bed with him, kissing him softly. _

"_Ya know, married life ain't gonna be no fun" Race said as he ran his hand through her hair. Lefty looked at him, smiling. _

"_Why not?" he smirked and kissed her again. _

"_Cuz now I'm not gonna have ta climb up fire escapes ta see you every night" she laughed and rolled over on top of him, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. _

"_Let me show you how fun it can be" _


	19. Chapter XIX

_Cray woke up with a start, opening her eyes wide and gazing up at the bunk above her. Someone's hand hung down off it, an unlighted cigarette still in it. She slowly rubbed her eyes, looking at her hand and seeing the black smudge of her mascara from last night. She looked down at her half-unlaced corset and sat up, her head pounding. Looking around she saw the room was quiet; all of the girls were sound asleep, most still dressed with make-up smeared all over their pillows. Lefty and Race had thrown one hell of a party. Cray grabbed on to the metal rail of the bunk to pull herself up, and slowly walked around Ringelts, who must not have managed to make it to her bed without falling asleep. As she walked towards the washroom Cray surveyed the room. Asia and Taylor were missing, that was to be expected. The room was still heavy with the scent of perfume, and the chair Lefty had sat in the previous morning while Taylor did her hair was still standing in front of the full-length mirror near the window. Her nightdress was handing off the back of it. Cray moved towards it, thinking to pick it up and bring it over to her new house with the rest of the things she'd forgotten, when the bitter memory of her encounter with Julienne dawned on her mind. She frowned and turned away from the chair, continuing into the washroom, dropping her undergarments on the floor and stepping into the shower. The only place she'd be going to say was the orphanage, she thought desolately as she messaged some of Asia's shampoo into her hair. By the time she was dried off and dressed a few of the girls had woken up, and Ringlets' was making an attempt to get the younger ones ready to sell, despite the fact that she was still half asleep. Cray wandered over to her, squeezing excess water out of her hair. _

"_Mornin Cray" she said, stifling a yawn. "I figured ya'd wind up in Brooklyn dis mornin, what happened?" Cray wished she hadn't said anything about this. She wished more than anything she had woken up in Spot's bedroom, seriously hung-over from the party, but happy in his arms anyways. She probably wasn't going to see Spot at all that day. The thought made her crave something to calm hr nerves, and she instinctively looked over to the table beside Lefty's bunk for cigarettes, her heart sinking with realization. Everything had changed over night, it seemed. _

"_Listen Ringelts, I gotta take off" she said, dropping the towel she'd been using on someone's bunk. Ringlets looked up. _

"_So early? Weah ya goin?" the concern was genuine, but Cray did not feel like explaining. She shrugged and walked away towards the door. _

"_I'll be back lata" she said, before closing the door behind her and walking down the stairs and into the open air. The sky was bright; it was almost midday. Cray felt like she ought to have a drink before she went anywhere a distraught Aly would be, but she thought better of it. She loitered around a bit, hands stuffed in her pockets, kicking the dust around before she realized she had never been to the Manhattan Orphanage before. She remembered vaguely that Julienne said it was in Midtown or something, so she pulled a cigarette out of the back pocket of the man in from of her and began to wander down the street, purposely taking the long way to the center of town. Faster than she would have liked she found herself across the street from a large brick building labelled _The Midtown Orphanage. _Taking a final drag from her cigarette and dropping it on the ground she walked across the road, pausing on the large front steps of the building, gazing up at it. It was much taller than the Lodging House of the Home of the White Rose had been, with laundry hanging off the fire escapes and the sound of small children crying coming from inside. Cray bit her lip and rang the bell, waiting a good three minutes before a weary looking woman in a faded grey dress holding two toddlers opened the door. She was young but work and tiredness made her look beyond her years, and she smiled weakly at Cray. _

"_Come in miss" she said politely. Cray smiled and pulled off her hat as she stepped inside. She was rarely ever called 'miss', and the respectful title always made her feel better about who she used to be. She door closed behind her and Cray looked around. The room clearly was meant to be an office; it had a front desk and tables and chair, but Cray could tell it wasn't well kept. The paint was peeling off the walls and there were children everywhere, none over the age of six it seemed. They all seemed to be waiting around for the attention of the woman carrying the two toddlers, and she seemed to be in over her head. _

"_What can I do for you miss?" she asked, hoisting one of the children up on her hip. _

"_Yeah, a couple a goils. Dey're new, I guess." Cray answered. The kids in the room were all staring at her now, interested in new company. It made her uncomfortable how big their eyes were, staring up at her. Cray had never had much contact children and always felt awkward and out-of- place when she was around them. _

"_Well we've got a lot of girls, all on floor five and up. We like to keep the boys and the girls separate here, it's easier and better for them really" Cray nodded, hoping she wouldn't have to look on every floor for Desiree and Aly. _

"_They're new, you say? How old?" the woman asked as she set down one of the children she held._

"_Oh, around sixteen, seventeen" Cray told her, feeling a small pair of hand pulling on her pocket. She looked down and saw a small girl with huge brown eyes peeking inside her pocket. _

"_Emma you stop that," the woman said, slapping the girl's hand and pulling her away._

"_Sorry about that, she just came in from the refuge. Pickpocket we suppose" Cray smiled slightly, wondering how many of the newsies had run away from this place when they were younger. And she really couldn't blame them. The place was a dump, and children were practically crawling out from the creases in the wall. The woman, who called herself Jessie, let Cray up the first few flights of stairs, past the long hallways filled with boys. _

"_First five stories all boys, two all the way to twelve. Most of them leave before they can get any older, and we aren't really allowed to keep them that long." Jessie told her as they walked down the nine and ten hallway._

"_Why not?" Cray asked as Jessie stopped to pick up someone's abandoned card game. _

"_Oh, mostly because they can work now, and they don't need us to take care of them. We don't have room either. And with all the girls we got in two days ago, we'll be starving." Cray realized she was talking about all the girls from Le Maison du a Blanc de Monte, but decided not to say anything. She didn't feel like talking about it more than she had to. The climbed two more flights before a crash was heard from below and Jessie sighed._

"_I'd better go see what that is. It's all girls from here on up. Just look around, you'll find them" another crash and crying came from downstairs, and she rolled her eyes and went back down. Cray felt a bit lost and deserted in the hallway. Several young girls sat around in rags, playing with their home-made dolls together. Cray opened one of the door in the hallway and looked in, finding a room full of mostly sleeping toddlers and deciding the chances of Aly and Desiree being on that floor were slim to none. The next floor had the most girls, ages five to nine, and Cray recognized a few of the younger girls from the Home of the White Rose in one of the rooms, crowded onto a mattress on the floor together, looking very scared and lonesome. The saw Cray peeking her head through the door and looked at hr in awe. None of them spoke, and she looked at them for a long time. She almost wanted them to run to her, crying so she could comfort them, but they didn't move. She wished she had known them all better, back when they worked together. They had come to her for advice many times, for comfort eve, but Desiree had always seemed to look after the younger ones, and Aly refused to associate with them. Anya followed her suit and didn't try to be their friend, and she never realized how much she pitied them until now. All the little girls were like mini models of herself. They'd all been forced into it, even if their mothers had done it before them. They were so lost now, none of them probably new where to go or what to do, and Cray wished she could take them all back to the Lodging House with her. Instead she just closed the door quietly and went up the next slight of stairs, where a little blonde girl in a faded green pinafore stood in the middle of the hallway. _

"_Who is you?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips. Cray raised her eyebrows and noticed that there were no children crowding this hallway. _

"_I'm Cray-" _

"_Dats a funny name" the girl said, crossing her arms. Cray frowned. _

"_Who's on dis hall? I'm lookin fa some goils, about my age-"_

"_Oh, ya won't find anyone as old as you is heah, did is weah Jessie keeps us when we's sick. I'm not supposed ta let anyone in da rooms, cuz Alice's got nimphomia" _

"_You mean pneumonia?" Cray asked, almost laughing. The girl blinked at here curiously. _

"_Yeah, whatevah. Go up dere." She pointed to a small, steep staircase at the end of the corridor. _

"_Where does dat go?" Cray asked, edging towards it" _

"_Attic. Da new goils asked fa dere own room" Cray nodded. At least she knew now that Aly was definitely here. The steepness of the stairs made Cray feel very small, and she tripped twice, not knowing it is was her own nerves that were the cause of her falls. She knocked on the attic's wooden door twice, and after a while it opened a very small way. Cray help her breath as she recognized Desiree's eye looking back at her. _

"_Desiree," she whispered, "it's-"_

"_Shhhh, I know who you are. Come in" Desiree opened the door only wide enough so Cray could slip in, and she stood inches away from Desiree, watching her light a candle. They were standing behind what seemed to be a bookshelf, and Cray could hear sobbing from the other side of the room. _

"_Who-"_

"_Shhh Anya, don't say anything." In the dim candlelight Cray could see Desiree's pale face. She looked strange and worn without make-up, and there were dark circles around her eyes. Her once perfectly curled hair was now limp and knotted, and pangs of guilt hit Cray again. _

"_You shouldn't have come Anya" Desiree said after a short sigh. Cray came out of her thoughts and looked up at her. _

"_What?" _

"_You didn't have too…I mean you shouldn't have…I mean…" Cray didn't know if she saw tears in Desiree's eyes, or if it was just the light. _

"_Desiree, what are you-" she stopped when Desiree put her arms around her and held her close. Cray had to hold on to her tight to keep herself from falling over._

"_It's so awful, it's so awful Anya…we don't know, we know, know how-" _

"_Shhh, shhhh" Cray said through a strangled breath; Desiree's nails were digging into her back. She really was falling apart, and Cray could feel her thin shirt getting wet with Desiree's tears. After about two minutes she started so calm down, and Cray wiped a tear from her face. Both of them attempted to smile at each other, and Desiree's gave Cray a less suffocating hug. _

"_Desiree? Is that you?" Cray was sure it was Aly's voice coming from the other side of the room, even though it sounded hoarse as if she had been screaming. _

"_Yes-" _

"_Is there somebody there? I thought I heard somebody come in?" _

"_Its-" Cray began to walk out from behind the bookshelf, but Desiree clamped her hand over her mouth and pushed her back. _

"_Don't go out there--she won't like to see you" Desiree said in a voice that was barely audible. Cray didn't care how emotionally distraught Aly was, she wanted to see and talk to both of them at once before she left. She wasn't sure if she would ever see them again. _

"_I don't care, jus let me--" Desiree tried to hold her back but Cray slipped under her arm and out into the open of the room. Aly was sitting on a couch near the fireplace, wrapped up in a faded quilt. Her eyes were red and it looked like any make-up she had been previously wearing had been washed off by tears. The room wasn't very light, but Cray could see the loathing look on Aly's face. _

"_Aly-" Cray was cut off by Aly standing up and grabbing a glass off the table and hurling at Cray with an angry scream. Cray ducked as Desiree pulled her back, and the glass hit the bookshelf behind them, shattering onto the floor. Cray lifted her head back up, cautiously eyeing Aly to see if there were any other objects near by she could throw at her. Desiree stood behind Cray as the three girls looked at each other, all standing for a moment, before Aly burst into tears and let herself fall back down onto the couch, her head in her hands. Desiree rushed over to her and hugged her, holding onto her hand to keep her from flailing and tearing her hair out. Aly wept into her shoulder in almost wrenching sobs, as Cray drew closer to them, edging her way carefully until she sat down on the other side of Aly, who quite unexpectedly started to cry into her. Desiree and Cray wrapped their arms around Aly and each other, and the three of them sat there while Aly cried. The feeling of being held in this manner by two other girls felt somewhat familiar to Cray, and she remembered the night a few weeks back when she and Ringlets had their arms wrapped around Lefty, who was in tears because she was scared to leave them and live all by herself. They had then reminded her that Race would be there too, and she felt much better. Somehow Cray didn't think talking about boys would help Aly. Her cries were eventually quieted, and they cleaned the tears off her face with the quilt they put around her shoulders. _

"_How are you…do you want to-" Cray asked, not quite sure how to ask if they wanted to talk about the fire. _

"_No" Desiree shook her head, and Cray was glad she did. She was lucky enough not to have been there when it happened, and she realized that she didn't want to know what it was like. _

"_What are we going to do?" Aly whispered as she leaned against Desiree's shoulder. Cray looked to Desiree for the answer to the question she was just about to ask. She shrugged. _

"_I don't know" she said faintly. Both of them looked at Cray, and she wished she could do more than shake her head. But she didn't know where they could go, or what they should do. She didn't feel right giving them advice; it just didn't seem to be her place, and she wouldn't know what to say anyways. She felt almost like Julienne could help them out better than she could. _

"_Well we can't stay here" Aly said, looking around the musty room with a slight cringe. _

"_Do you think ya gonna look fa woik in da city?" Cray asked, and Desiree shrugged. _

"_Who'd take us? It's not like we know how too much" Aly nodded and sat up a bit. _

"_I just want to get out here. Get out of the city. Too many people know us here, you know? I want to go somewhere where no one knows who I was or cares" Cray knew how she felt, and wished she could take her back to the Lodging House, but knew Taylor would have a hard time with that, and Aly wasn't the kind of person who sold newspapers for a living. But as she thought about, Cray realized the newsies would probably be the most likely people to have knowledge about skipping town. _

"_Hey, do you think you could get outta heah tomorrow, maybe in da aftanoon or lata?" both girls looked sceptical. _

"_What do you have in mind? Dinner and a show?" Aly asked cynically, but Desiree nodded._

"_Yeah we can, I think Jessie leaves the back window open at night, so we can get to the fire escapes" she said, gesturing to a window behind her. Cray nodded and sighed. _

"_Okay, dere's dis restaurant called Tibby's, on da corner of-"_

"_We know where it is" Aly said, "You think Ray's guys were the only ones keeping an eye on you?" _

"_What do you-?" _

"_C'mon Anya, we weren't just going to sit around after you disappeared without wondering where you went? It wasn't Ray who told us you were playing with those newspaper boys. We have our own ways of finding things out" Desire added with a bit of pride and mystery in her voice. Cray sighed and stood up, running a hand through her still damp hair. _

"_Just be dere around nine" she told them. _

"_In the morning?" Aly almost shrieked. Cray gave her a look. _

"_Would I evah even think of makin you get up dat early?" Aly rolled her eyes and Desiree got up off the couch. _

"_We'll be there" she said, hugging Cray tightly. Cray gave her a kiss on her cheek and looked at her old friend sadly. _

"_Things can only get better from here huh?" Desiree said, and Cray smiled. Her optimism reminded her of Ringlets. She looked behind Desiree to the couch where Aly was, finding her asleep, wrapped up in the quilt even though the room was heavy with heat. She smiled at Desiree again as she walked to the stairs, and waved goodbye. _

"_I'll see you tomorrow" she said, and Desiree nodded, here eyes gleaming. Cray turned her back so she wouldn't have to watch Desiree cry again, and went down the stairs into the pneumonia-laden hallway. It was deserted, and Cray quickly walked down the remaining six flights of stairs and into the main room where Jessie was talking to another woman. _

"_G'bye miss" Cray heard her say as she walked out the front doors of the orphanage. It was midday now, and the streets where almost too crowded for Cray to think. Although she felt better, or less guilty, now that she had seen the girls, she almost wished she hadn't offered to help them. She had wanted to give them advice so badly she didn't even realize that now she would have to ask the newsies for information about what they could do. And she wasn't even sure she could get a few of them to hang around at Tibby's at nine o'clock at night. For the third time since she left the Lodging House she wished she had a cigarette, and she leaned against the railing of the stairs to an apartment she was passing, taking off her cap and fanning herself with it. _

"_Cray!" Cray looked up to see Ringlets coming down the steps. She stood up and smiled, suddenly realizing how glad she was to see someone who wasn't depressed. _

"_Heya Ringlets, whatcha doin heah?" she asked, standing up. _

"_Visiting Race an Lefty," she said, smiling broadly. Cray raised her eyebrows in surprise; she wouldn't have even thought of visiting them, they had only gotten married yesterday. _

"_Already?" she asked. Ringlets came down the steps the rest of the way. _

"_Well, I wasn't goin ta, but den Taylor told me she was goin an I came along afta I finished sellin" Cray nodded, and Ringelts beamed. _

"_You should go in an see dem!" she said enthusiastically, as though it was the best idea she'd ever had, "dey're so cute in dere house and everything…" Cray leaned against the railing again, somehow not quiet believing that Lefty would, on her will, let Taylor into her house the day after she got married. _

"_Go in!" Ringlets urged. Cray smiled, feeling slightly as though she shouldn't be going in, but not knowing how she would tell Ringelts she thought it wasn't a good idea. She climbed the steps, looking down at Ringelts who was on the street. _

"_Which--" _

"_Oh dey're on da foist floor, foist door ya see." Cray nodded and Ringelts waved goodbye, and she opened the door. The little space she found herself in was tiny, occupied mainly by a flight of stairs, and a door on the left-hand side. Cray heard Taylor's voice coming from the other side of it, and knocked twice. _

"_Come in" it was not Lefty or Race who issued the invite, but Taylor, and Cray opened the door hesitantly. Across from her was Taylor, Lefty and Race, all huddled over the small kitchen table, looking at what appeared to be a large book. Lefty and Taylor looked up at her, Lefty looked extremely tired and Taylor looking more energetic than Cray had ever seen her._

"_Oh heya Cray" she said, waving her over. Cray looked at Lefty, who looked back at her in a way that made it clear she was not the one in charge at the moment. She was still in her pale pink nightdress that clung silkily to her body; a wedding present from Asia. Race was in pants and his undershirt, his arms wrapped around Lefty's slim waist, looking as though he wanted nothing more than to fall asleep into her hair. When Cray shut the door behind her he looked up, and sighed. Cray edged closer to them until she saw that the book was a large cookbook Taylor kept on her bedside table back at the Lodging House. _

"_Heya Cray" Lefty said wearily, leaning against Race's chest. _

"_Hey" Cray said, keeping her distance from the cookbook, which Taylor was talking about rapidly. _

"_Race, ask Cray if she wants some coffee" Taylor instructed. _

"_Ya want some coffee Cray?" Race asked in mock-enthusiasm, pulling Cray over to the stove, out of Taylor's ear-shot. _

"_She's been heah since eight. Get her out" he said, not bothering to pour her any coffee. Cray bit her lip looked at Lefty, who looked like she might fall over in tiredness. Cray wondered how late she had been up the previous night. _

"_Taylor" she called. _

"_What?" _

"_Jack came round da Lodging House lookin for you. He says you promised him a strip dance. An he smells like da punch from las night, ya know, da one Blink an Mush dumped three bottles of scotch in?" Race covered his mouth with his hand to muffle his laugh as Taylor shut the cookbook with a snap. _

"_I don't know why…I never…I have ta go" she put on her cap and walked towards the door, book in tow. _

"_An don't try ta cook anything till I get back" she said to Lefty, who looked like she'd fallen asleep on the table. She woke up when she heard the door slam, and dragged herself over to Race, resting her head on his chest. _

"_Thanks Cray" she said, yawning. Race had woken her up way earlier than she would have thought, telling her that Taylor was at the door. Originally she's thrown one of Race shirts until Taylor made her change, and by now she was in no mood to entertain guests. If she'd had her way she and Race would be having breakfast in bed right now, not caring that the rest of the city had already eaten lunch. Cray seemed to understand this, because she told them both goodbye and walked out the door, promising to keep Taylor from coming back. As soon as the door shut Lefty buried her face in Race's shirt, using it to stifle her scream of frustration. _

"_Well good morning ta you too Missis Higgins" Race said, prying her off of him. _

"_Take me back to bed" she moaned, closing her eyes. Race picked her up and brought her into their bedroom, putting her down and pulling the sheet on over her. She closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep already. _

"_Would you like a story?" Race asked sweetly, as though he were talking to a child. Lefty opened one eye at him and started to laugh until he pouted and covered her mouth with his, pulling her out of bed with the sheet wrapped around both of them. _

"_So whadda ya wanna do today huh kid?" Race asked as he broke the kiss, leaving her sulking for more. _

"_Mmmm…this" she leaned in and kissed him deeply, before he laughed and held her back. _

"_Yeah, me too," he said, smirking. _

"_Let's go for a walk" Lefty suggested, putting her feet on the ground and walking towards the door. _

"_In dat?" Race asked, looking at her waif-like body and the slinky nightdress that encased it. _

"_Why not?" she teased, looking down at herself, knowing in amusement that Race thought she was serious. _

"_What would Taylor say?" he asked, sounding appalled. Lefty grinned and jumped on the bed, standing on it above him. _

"_Alright, I'm your doll. Dress me" Race smirked. _

"_A'right den" he said, "but foist, I'll need ya measurements" he found a ribbon and made her hold her arms out so he could wrap it around her tiny waist, wondering if she was naturally that thin or if she was underfed. He promised himself them to make sure that she never was. _

"_By da way, now dat ya livin wit me, ya've gotta start eating" he told as he climbed up on the bed and stood behind her, measuring the length of her arms. _

"_I do--"_

"_Sorry, dat's da rule. No complaints" Lefty sighed and he smirked again as he took the ribbon and put it around her breasts. He held it there for a second before she slapped his hand away. _

"_Hey, dat's da most important part!" Race insisted as she pushed him gently off the bed. _

"_Am I measured?" Lefty asked, putting her hands on her hips impatiently. _

"_Yes dollface, now I've gotta find something fa you ta weah" he walked around their messy room, opening the old hatboxes and suitcase Taylor had put their clothes in a week ago. He pulled out a pale blue dress from it and got back up on the bed, standing behind and holding up the dress to her front, looking over her shoulder at it. _

"_K, dis'll do" he said and threw the dress over his shoulder. Lefty began to unbutton the back of her nightdress, but Race moved her hands away. _

"_You're a doll, rememba?" he whispered. She put her hands at her sides as he gently undid a few more buttons, and slid the thin straps off her shoulders, letting the nightdress slither off her. She shivered and he put his arms around her and kissed her neck, inhaling the scent of her skin. She turned her head and kissed his softly, and cleared her throat. _

"_We were going ta go fa a walk, weren't we?" she reminded him. _

"_Yeah, but how about a change of plans?" he leaned in and kissed her deeply for a long time, leaving her breathless and a little bit weak. _

"_Well dat depends, what's ya plans?" Race smirked his most classic smirk, and kissed her again. _


	20. Chapter XX

_Cray stood on a small wooden crate so she could reach the top of the drawer she was rummaging through. She kept glancing at the bunkroom door anxiously, waiting for someone to come in and catch her. She had swung by Tibby's looking for something to eat after she left Race and Lefty's house, only to find it deserted except for Blink, who told her he'd offered to come by and clean up the place after getting so many people drunk the night before. They'd talked for a while before he asked her if she wanted a drink, because Tibby had left the bar unattended while he went out. Cray ended up having three before she left and went to the Girls' Lodging House, deciding on her way that it was time for her to find Spot and apologize to him for taking off so early the previous night the only way she knew how to apologize to guys, which was why she was looking through Asia's lingerie drawer. Normally it didn't matter what she wore when she went over to Brooklyn, because Spot had it off her so fast he didn't even see it. But Cray had decided that since everyone else had had their fun last night, she was going to have hers now, to the fullest extent. While most of Asia's undergarments were red, and Cray personally preferred dark green, she managed to find a bra and panty set of black lace with red accents, which she put on quickly, not bothering to change in the washroom as she usually did. Since it belonged to Asia, the bra gave her an excellent amount of cleavage, which Cray let peek out quite a bit from the tank top she put on over it. From one of the bottom drawers she found an old grey skirt of Ringlets that Asia had stolen and cut a good deal of the bottom off of, which Cray slipped into next. She let her hair loose and put on some black heels before smearing on a layer of blood red lipstick from the drawer she and Lefty used to share. She walked towards the door, realizing this was the first time she'd been in heels when she didn't have a desire to kick them off like the rest of the newsgirls did. Walking around with her feet in four inch heels and her breasts popping out of her shirt was a familiar yet peculiar feeling, as were the whistles and catcalls she got when she walked down the street towards Brooklyn. She managed to get across the bridge without behind offered money, but once she got into Brooklyn men were practically crawling up her skirt. She went the back way under the docks to avoid them until she got to the barracks, and even then when she opened the door she was greeted by several quiet whistles and a few shouts. Usually to get into the barracks you would have to be either one of the Brooklyn newsies or interviewed, examined, and pocket searched by one of Spot's toughest newsies who guarded the door. But Cray was Spot's girl, and by now they all knew her well, and let her in without question. Once she was in she walked up the stairs and down the hall to where Spot's room was, finding the door locked. _

"_Spot, it's me, Cray" she said in her moist seductive voice. When there was no response she knocked twice and tried the handle again. _

"_C'mon Spot, I wanna play with you" she whined. After getting no answer she sighed, wondering if he was possibly still hungover from the party. She wondered how long he had stayed there after she left. Suddenly she felt a pair of strong hand on her shoulders that spun her around. She would have screamed except the next moment she was being passionately kissed, and when she drew away she saw Spot's amused face. _

"_Tryin ta scare me?" she asked, running a finger down his chest. _

"_It woiked, didn't it?" was the crass answer she got. Cray smiled impishly at him, judging from the tone of his voice that he was angry with her for leaving him the night before. _

"_It's hot out here, let's go into your room" she suggested, trying to get his attention more focused on her but he walked past her and opened the door, not taking her hand and pulling her in like he usually did. _

"_Dat was weah I thought we'd end up las night--why'd ya bail on me Cray?" Cray groaned and followed him into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her. She had planned to tell him about Desiree and Aly after they'd had sex. _

"_I was jus…really tired." She said, and knew Spot didn't believe her, but didn't say anything. _

"_But I ain't now" she purred, rubbing his arm. He raised an eyebrow and she took advantage of the moment to kiss him hungrily, pulling at his bottom lip with her teeth. He pushed her down on his bed and had her shirt and skirt off in second, looking over her choice of lingerie. He vaguely recognized them from somewhere, but really didn't stop to wonder as Cray pulled his shirt off and he kissed her ravenously._

_An hour later both Cray and Spot were awake, and Cray had given him the real explanation as to why she abandoned him the night before. Although he seemed slightly saddened at the loss of his favourite whorehouse, Spot didn't really understand why Cray was telling him all the details about the girls and how they were all in the Midtown orphanage until she told him about Desiree and Aly. _

"_Aly? Oh yeah, I think I rememba her…" Spot thought aloud, smiling reminiscently as though the memory was a very good one. Cray talked on about what a horrible position they were in, Spot not really hearing her, still thinking about that night a long time ago with a girl named Aly…_

"…_an I told dem you'd help" Spot was brought back to earth by this comment, and he looked down at his pretty redheaded girlfriend in disbelief. _

"_You did what?" he almost shouted, causing her to sit up and put a hand on his chest in an attempt to calm him down. _

"_Well, I didn't really promise you, in particular, but told dem to meet me at Tibby's tomorrow night and I figured--" _

"_You figured what you'd hit me up fa money or something ta pay fa dey're train ticket! God Cray, I don't care about dem! I don't even know dem…well, not day well at least. I could care less…dey're your friends, deal wid dem, don't ask me!" he insensitive rant sent an heated, angry shill through Cray, and she sat up very straight. Spot watched her fuming, annoyed t hat she brought him into this. It didn't have anything to do with territory or his boys or any problem that was normally presented to him. On those issues he was an expert with, but helping a girl who needed advice about some other girls in trouble was foreign to him. No girl had ever asked him for help before. He slept with girls, dated girls, and was considered to be the best kisser of girls in the city, but he didn't help girls. He'd never had to before. _

"_Jesus Cray…" he finally muttered, putting his hands up in the air, "don't ask me." The look of disappointment on her face bothered him, but the fact that se put on her clothes and left bothered him even more. He swore angrily as she slammed the door, and reached for the bottle of gin on the table beside his bed. He was Spot Conlon, after all, and Spot Conlon didn't give advice to or help girls. Usually. _

_"Aw, dat's terrible" Mush said sympathetically as he tossed a nickel into a pile of money on the table. Cray nodded and looked over at Blink, who was looking at Cray, shaking his head. After Cray realized that she never should had asked Spot for help, she went back to the Boys' Lodging House where she found Mush and Blink playing cards in the bunkroom, and Cray knew she should have come to them from the beginning. She poured out the story, in a more modified version than she had told to Spot, but emphasizing that points that the girls had no money, no where to go, and no one to accept or love them (something she had tossed in last minute to the story, but seemed to increase her chances of getting help from them a great deal). She'd also danced around the fact that they were ex-whores and sort of renamed them as being "carefree girls who got pleasure out of life". _

"_So anyways guys, do you think you could help?" Cray asked, looking at both of them with pitiful, pleading eyes. _

"_Of course we'll help Cray" Blink assured her, picking put another card from the deck. _

"_More dan happy too" Mush added. Cray smiled, knowing once they saw Aly they'd be even happier. As much as she wished she could have helped them herself, Cray didn't know how she could, and Blink and Mush certainly seemed like they could give them a little money and an idea of where to go, or were at willing to do so. _

"_So when do ya think we should talk ta dese goils?" Mush asked. _

"_Well, how 'bout tomorrow night at Tibby's, around nine, maybe?" Cray offered. _

"_No problem, jus don't tell Asia where I've been." Blink said. _

"_Oh, same fa me. I don't know if Ringlets would like it if I hung around at Tibby's wid any goils I didn't know" Mush told her earnestly. Blink rolled his eyes. _

"_She ain't ya mudda" he remarked quietly. _

"_I promise I won't tell" Cray said as she stood up and gave each of them a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Anything to help her ease her conscience about the situation. Guilt was still hanging on her, as were all of Julienne's accusing words. _

_At five of nine the next evening Cray walked into Tibby's finding it empty except for Blink and Mush, who kept glancing at the door anxiously. _

"_You guys are so great fa doin dis fa me" she gushed as she slid into the booth next to Mush. They both waved it off as if it was nothing and all three other turned towards the door, looking out into the night. Cray prayed silently that Desiree and Ay would show up, and at ten past nine, when she was about to leave, Aly walked through the front door, followed closely by Desiree, who looked a bit scared as if they were doing something illegal. Blink and Mush immediately jumped up at the sight of them a whipped their hats at the sight of them, which both Desiree and Aly found quite alarming, and Cray quite amusing. _

"_Aly, Desiree, dis is Kid Blink Parker," Blink nodded eagerly, "an Mush Meyers" Mush gave a curt little boy, and Cray could have sworn Aly hid a snicker. Cray pulled on Blink's shirt and signalled to them it was ok to sit down. _

"_Guys dis is Desiree," she pointed to her, and Desiree smiled politely, "an Aly" Aly swung her hair back from her face and sat back in her chair, legs crossed. Obviously she wasn't in a state if hysteria any more. _

"_So…do you really think you could help us?" Desiree asked breathily as the five of them settled into their seats, Blink and Mush leaning forward towards Aly and Desiree, as if they couldn't see or hear them unless they were five inches from their faces. _

"_Well, we're sure we could figuah out some jobs fa you ta get around da city, I mean, dere's tons of stuff out dere-" _

"_Waitressing, sewing, factories are always hiring--"_

"_No" Aly cut Blink off. _

"_Oh, well den dere's stuff like--"_

"_No" Desiree said again. Blink raised his eyebrows. _

"_Well, you could always be newsies-" Cray kicked Mush under the table, and he cleared his throat. _

"_Maybe dat wouldn't be such a good idea, but dere's always-" _

"_NO!" Aly yelled, standing up suddenly. Cray looked at Desiree helplessly, hoping she would calm her down. _

"_What is it Aly, no what?" Cray asked. _

"_No, we're no going to be waitresses or seamstresses or any of that shit." Aly announced, "We don't want to be in this city any more." Cray raised her eyebrows, but Desiree nodded. _

"_Aly's right. We didn't come here to get jobs or anything…we just want to know how we can get out of here." She explained softly. Mush look concerned. _

"_Where do ya wanna go?" _

"_Out of the city." _

"_Jersey?" _

"_Farther" _

"_Virginia?" _

"_Nowhere south" _

"_Chicago?" Cray looked up at Blink's proposal. She looked at Desiree and Aly, who were exchanging glances. _

"_How much for a train ticket to Chicago?" Desiree asked in a whisper. _

"_Two" Aly said. No it was Blink and Mush's turn to exchange sceptical looks. Cray bit her lip, knowing that the newsies never thought about leaving the city, and if they ever did it wouldn't be by train. _

"_I dunno…a lot" Mush sighed. _

"_Jack would know" Blink thought. _

"_Do you really wanna go to Chicago?" Cray asked Desiree and Aly, who nodded slowly. _

"_I'm sure dey'll be plenty a whorehouses dere fa you ta woik in" All five of them spun around in their seats to look to the door, where a very displeased Julienne was standing. Cray bit her lip and Aly stood up. _

"_You'd probably know wouldn't you? I'll bet that's where you've been the past year. Or did Ray finally realize what a shitty little slut you were and kick you out?" Julienne looked unfazed and amused. _

"_I think you'd betta watch you ya callin a slut, whore" Desiree held Aly back while Blink and Mush stood up defensively. Julienne had surveyed the five of them, sitting there plotting, from outside. She found it sickeningly and ironically amusing how backwards her initial plan had become. Cray was the one who was supposed to be leaving the city, not Desiree and Aly. Laying the guilt trip on Cray had worked, but she was dealing with it in a way Julienne never would have guessed. She undoubtedly had gone to see Desiree and Aly in the orphanage, but what exactly happened when she saw them Julienne could only guessed. She had unwisely assumed that they would have been so upset and hateful towards her that Cray would have left in shame, but now it looked like the had asked for her help. As much as she didn't like Aly and Desiree, Julienne would have preferred living with them to having Cray lurking around. She hated her being with Spot, she hated her befriending the newsies and becoming one; she hated that Cray had taken her place. _

"_Julienne, don't you think you could lay off us for once?" Desiree asked. Julienne laughed indignantly. _

"_Why? Cray made have sympathy for you, but I certainly don't." _

"_Julienne, jus leave' Cray said tiredly, not wanting be have her around anymore. Everything out of the small, dirty girl's mouth was laced with venom, and she didn't want her to keep egging on Aly, who Cray was afraid would break down again. Although Julienne never took orders, and especially not from Cray, she walked over to the empty bar and went through Tibby's alcohol cabinet, pulling out a half empty bottle of vodka while the rest of them watch her in perplexity, and then she walked out the door. Cray sighed and Aly sat back down, along with the two boys. _

"_Two train tickets so Chicago…dat might take a while to…"_

"_Secure" Mush finished Blink's statement. _

"_But do you think we could get them?" Aly asked. Blink sighed heavily but Mush nodded. _

"_Probably" Cray made a mental note to never do anything against Blink or Mush again, and decided she was going to sell all their papers for them for the next three months. Desiree looked at Cray in gratitude, but Aly still looked doubtful. _

"_What are we supposed to in between?" she asked. Mush perked up._

"_You could stay in da Lodging House!" he exclaimed. _

"_Yeah, da _goils'_ Lodging House" Cray said. _

"_It that where you stay?" Desiree asked Cray, who nodded. _

"_Well, it's all settled den, isn't it?" Blink asked, happy with the knowledge that the girls would be around for a while. _

"_Yep…I'll take you two back to da Lodging House" Cray said as they all stood up. _

"_Me too!" Blink said, moving to escort Aly out of the restaurant. _

"_Don't you have a date with Asia?" Mush asked. Blink immediately lost all thoughts of taking the girls home. _

"_Tell Cowboy not ta wait up" he told Mush as he practically skipped out the door. Mush left too, tipping his hat to Desiree and Aly and going back to the Boys' Lodging House. Ten minutes later Cray had managed to get Aly and Desiree into the bunkroom without question, mainly because Taylor was out with Jack for the night and most of the younger girls were asleep. Aly insisted that there was no way she was going to sleep in a room with twenty other girls, and Cray hesitantly let her into the small bedroom next to the common room downstairs. Desiree insisted she was just happy to get out of the orphanage, and Cray very hesitantly gave her Lefty's old bunk to sleep in. She wasn't sure exactly how everything was going to work out, but having laid down a plan for them had taken a great amount off Cray's shoulders, and she just hoped Taylor would scream at her too loudly when she found she had two more ex-prostitutes boarding in her Lodging House. _


	21. Chapter XXI

_Lefty opened her eyes to see the sunlight pouring through her bedroom from the window behind the bed. She gave a small yawn and rolled over, expecting to roll right into Race's arms. Instead she found his side of the bed deserted, the sheet tossed back._

"_Race?" she called, sitting up a bit. She leaned over to the bedside table to look at his watch to see what time it was, but could not find it. _

"_Hey doll, why are you awake?" Lefty looked up to see Race, fully dressed, standing at the bedroom door. _

"_Why are you awake? An dressed too" she wondered aloud, "come here" he obeyed and came over to her, sitting on the side of the bed. She sat up and gave him a kiss, sliding her fingers into his vest pocket, looking for his watch. _

"_You made coffee?" she asked in surprise when she'd pulled away, having tasted it when she kissed him. _

"_Yep, ya want some?" he asked, starting to stand up, but she took his collar and gently pulled him back down. _

"_Mmmm, maybe later" she whispered, leaning in close to him and kissing the corner of his thin mouth. He took the watch out of her hands and he returned the kiss, and broke it to look at it. _

"_Jesus, I gotta go dahling" he said. Lefty immediately stopped kissing his neck and looked up at him, a confused look on her face. _

"_Go? Weah?" Race bit his lip, knowing she'd forgotten what he'd tried to tell her the previous afternoon. _

"_Ta woik. Rememba, we talked about it yestaday?" she pouted and he knew she remembered._

"_So early though…" she murmured, still holding his hand to prevent him from getting up again. _

"_It's seven o'clock!" Race exclaimed laughing, but realizing that it was early compared to the times they'd been getting up for the past three days. Not including his wedding day, Race had managed to secure three days off from his boss at the track for he and Lefty to settle in, and he knew if he stayed with her any longer she'd make him want to stay home a fourth. _

"_Lefty, don't look at me like dat," he pleaded. Her pretty mouth was drawn into a pout, and her clear eyes were very large and wide. He stood up suddenly, only to find that she still hadn't let go of his hand, and was pulled up with him. Lefty held onto his frail body and looked up at him in the most heartbroken way she could. Married life had been going so well, and she guessed that maybe she should have thought about how it might not just consist of her and Race staying home all day making love and traipsing around the house after each other. She did vaguely remember Race mentioning something to her yesterday about how he had to go to work tomorrow, but she didn't realize he would be gone so quickly. She suddenly felt very lonely. _

"_Lefty…." Race moaned as he tried to make his way to the front door with her clinging to him. It really did break his heart to leave her like this, even though he'd tried to wake her up when he got up, but found he could break her out of her sleep. He almost wished she hadn't woken up so he could have left her a note and wouldn't have to deal with her practically breaking down as he edged closer to the front door. She draped her arms around his neck and kissed him again, as he reached behind him to open to door. _

"_Okay," he began as he broke the kiss, "dere's coffee an toast, and--please don't look at me like dat Lefty--I've gotta go now or I'll be late an get fired, but I'll be at Tibby's fa lunch wid everybody at noon, an you can tell me how much you hate me fa leavin but I really have ta go now doll--" she was frowning but he kissed her longingly one finally time before breaking free of her grasp and getting out of the flat, closing the door, hoping she wouldn't come after him. Lefty bit her lip in frustration as he closed the door, and she angrily walked towards the table, jumping as she heard the front door to the building slam shut with his exit. There was indeed toast on a plate for her, and he'd even poured the coffee for her into a cup. She tasted it, finding it black, just the way she liked. Suddenly she felt extremely guilty for giving him a guard time about leaving, his jobs was, after all, the reason she was going to have toast and coffee for the rest of her life. She put down the cup and ran to the counter on the street-side part of the kitchen, climbing on top of it so she could open the window above. She stuck her head and shoulders out of it and looked down the sidewalk to see Race's figure walking down it, a few yards away. _

"_Race!" she yelled, causing several people on their front steps to turn and look at her. After a moment she saw his head turn and he squinted back at her. _

"_Yeah?" _

"_I love you" she watched his face break into a smile, and he blew her a kiss. _

"_I love you too dollface" he called back to her, and she waved once more before drawing her head back in and climbed off the counter. She finished the coffee and ate the toast, before taking a quick shower and putting on a light blue dress. She put her wet hair up into a bun and tied a dark blue sash around her waist. She made the bed and put the dishes away, not liking playing house-wife but figuring she'd better get used to it. Lefty grabbed a few bucks and tucked them into her bra like she always did before leaving the flat and locking the door, walking outside into the sunshine. She was at the corner of Duane Street before she realized she'd forgot to put on shoes, and wondered if she'd brought any to the apartment when she moved. She wore them so little it didn't even seem worth it to get them, but she hadn't been to the Lodging House in a few days in getting shoes was a good excuse to go. Lefty walked through the front door and into the common room, where two girls that she had never seen before were sitting on the couch. _

"_Hey," Lefty said hesitantly on her way to the stairs, "are you new?" she hadn't been gone a week and there was already girls to take her place. The taller of the two spoke up. _

"_Sort of" she responded in an uninterested voice. Lefty nodded and started to walk upstairs, but paused for a moment and looked back at them. _

"_Wait…do I know you from somewhere?" the smaller one, who had curly hair, looked up at her. She whispered something to her companion. She said something in a low voice that Lefty could not here, and shook off the strange feeling of familiarity, quickly going upstairs and into the bunkroom. She looked around, not seeing anyone among the rows or unmade bunks, and feeling very deserted until she closed the door behind her and saw Ringelts' face peer out from behind a bunk in the back of the room. _

"_Lefty!" she squealed and ran over to her, catching her up in a tight hug. When her feet were placed back down on the ground Lefty saw that Taylor, Asia and Cray had appeared behind her. _

"_Run away from home?" Asia asked mockingly, but hugged Lefty after she said it. Lefty moaned and rested her head on Asia's shoulder as they followed Taylor, Ringelts and Cray to their bunks in the back corner of the room, the five of them cramming on Asia's top bunk like they always did when they were going to discuss something important. _

"_So, is married life as wonderful as it seems?" Ringelts asked dreamily. _

"_You look drained Lefty, what is it?" Taylor asked as she smoothed a few loose strand of hair back from Lefty forehead and put a hand on her cheek. _

"_Race went to woik dis morning" she sighed, leaning wearily on Ringelts. _

"_Ah, da honeymoon's ovah" Asia said knowledgably. _

"_Speaking of da honeymoon…" Cray began, and the rest of the girls, even Taylor, giggled with interest. _

"_Details please" Asia demanded, and Lefty smirked. _

"_Dat's fa me ta know" she said. _

"_An me ta find out?" Cray asked playfully. _

"_So Race is now a woikin man?" Taylor asked in surprise. _

"_Yeah, he's doing paperwoik down at da tracks in Coney Island" she told her. _

"_I nevah would have guessed" Asia remarked. _

"_Does he get free tickets into da races?" Cray asked. _

"_Yep, on weekends. Everyone who woiks dere does" Lefty responded. _

"_Well now we know why he took dat job" Asia snickered. _

"_What time did he leave?" Ringelts asked. _

"_Seven" Lefty pouted, and Ringelts put an arm around her. _

"_Aw, did you see him before he left?" Lefty nodded. _

"_Why does he hafta go ta woik an leave me all alone?" she whimpered, and Cray laughed. _

"_Cuz he needs ta feed you sweetie" Taylor told her shaking her head. _

"_Am I a bad wife?" Lefty asked Ringelts miserably, who shook her head and kissed her friend's cheek. _

"_No of course not sweetie" she said, slapping Asia who was nodding solemnly at her. _

"_I wish he didn't have ta go away so early" she whispered, and the rest of the girls hugged her close. _

"_It won't seem so bad afta a while love, you're jus not used to it" Taylor told her in her motherly tone. _

"_Want me ta soak him for ya?" Asia offered teasingly, who loved giving Race a hard time much as her boyfriend. Taylor kissed Lefty's cheek, inwardly pleased that Lefty had come to her when she was upset. It somehow made her feel better about losing the girl she loved like a daughter to a gambler she didn't approve of. The other girls followed her suit, and Lefty leaned back on the pillow that was propped up against the metal headboard of the bed. _

"_So, you do know dat dere are two goils sitting downstairs on da couch, right?" Taylor rolled her eyes and Cray bit her lip. By now the rest of the girls had found out about Desiree and Aly, and Cray had managed to get Taylor to agree to let them stay for a while. She also made the rest of the girls promise not to tell Lefty that Desiree was sleeping in her old bunk, that Taylor had promised to always have open to her the morning of her wedding. _

"_Yeah, we know, dey're new" Taylor said. _

"_Den why aren't dey selling?" Lefty asked, "an why aren't you four selling?" _

"_We were waiting here for da moment when you came crying back to us. An ain't you lucky we did?" Asia said. _

"_We jus didn't feel like selling today" Ringelts explained, although Lefty looked at Taylor curiously. It was highly unusual for Taylor to let them take the day off, and even more unusual for her to take the day off herself. She sensed it had something to do with the two girls downstairs, but didn't pursue her thoughts. _

"_You still look a bit tired Lefty," Taylor set, examining her again, "you need ta eat something" _

"_Shall we all go ta Tibby's an interrogate da bride about da honeymoon some more?" Asia asked. _

"_Absolutely" Cray said, and the five of them hopped off the bed, going downstairs into the common room, stopping at the door to look down on Desiree and Aly, who were still sitting on the couch. Taylor seemed very dubious about leaving them alone in the Lodging House, but also didn't feel like inviting them to go to Tibby's. _

"_We'll be at Tibby's…ok?" Taylor stammered. Cray inched towards them and bend down, saying something the rest of the girls couldn't hear. They ended up walking into Tibby's without them, and ended up talking about Lefty and Race, but about Cray and her current relationship with Spot. Cray had actually been wanting to talk to Lefty about it privately, because she hadn't seen him since they fought at the barracks, and was debating going over there again or leaving Spot alone for a while. As angry as she had been at him for not supporting her, she was starting to miss him. But Ringlets had asked and Cray didn't lie, and pretty soon she was hearing stories about how unreliable and indecisive he was from Asia, being told to stay away from him from Taylor, being told not to let what other people say bother by Ringlets, and not being told anything from Lefty, who was happy the conversation had steered away from she and Race's private life. _

_Race opened the door to Tibby's, watching about fifty faces turn and look at him briefly, few of them waving or calling, and searching the table to his left to see if Lefty was there. Sure enough, in the table Jack and his friends always sat at, was Lefty, crammed in between Asia and Cray, looking as quite content as everyone talked to her. He walked careful around the restaurant so she wouldn't see him, snuck up behind her and put his hands over her eyes. _

"_Heya doll, ya miss me?" he asked once she's pulled his hands off her face. Lefty turned her head to look at him over her shoulder, grinning. _

"_Dat depends, did ya miss me?" she asked playfully. _

"_A'course" he said, and kissed her. Cray had gotten up to sit next to Snipes, who wanted to show her his new marbles, and Race took her place. He hadn't been there longer than two minutes when the door banged open again. _

"_Ah! Da newlyweds!" Blink announced gleefully as he and Mush sailed into the restaurant and over to the table. They each pulled up a chair spit shook with Race. _

"_Foist public appearance since da weddin" Mush remarked as he pulled Ringelts into his lap. _

"_We were startin ta get worried about you" Blink told them before kissing Asia. _

"_Worried?" Race asked, raising an eyebrow. Mush nodded. _

"_Yep, dat ya forgot about us" he said dejectedly. Race sighed. _

"_Well I did, but den Lefty reminded me dat you two were probably moping around, wondering what you were going ta do witout me ta entertain you" he said, smirking. _

"_So Lefty, how do ya like livin wid Race?" Blink asked, ignoring Race's comment. _

"_Does he force ya into playing cards wid him at midnight when he can't fall asleep?" Mush asked, receiving a glare from Race. _

"_Does he yell at you if you touch his cigars?" Snipes shot from across the table. _

"_Lefty knows betta dan dat ya liddle bum" Race snapped. Blink laughed. _

"_I guess he didn't miss you Snipes" he said. Lefty kissed Race's cheek and they all settled in for lunch, no one noticing the bits of conversation that was carrying on between Cray, Mush and Blink. _

"_Why didn't ya bring dem into Tibby's? Dey must be starving ovah dere" Mush commented when Ringelts wasn't paying attention. _

"_I ain't stopping you from bringing dem back anything" Cray said, hoping that he would. Aly was extremely reluctant to leave the Lodging House, fearing someone she knew might see her outside, and Desiree didn't want to leave her. Taylor had given them some food the previous evening, but they hadn't eaten anything since. They were almost like Cray's pets; they did what she told them to do, ate when she fed them, and didn't go out unless she told them to. It was strangely disturbing. However she knew, as much as Mush would have liked to help the girls even more, he wasn't going to risk Ringelts finding out about his efforts with Blink to get them train tickets to Chicago. Blink had even declined several of Asia's invitations to go over to the Girls' Lodging House, not even wanting to think about what would happen if she discovered what was going on. For Cray it wasn't as much of an issue, although she did not enjoy having to constantly badger Mush and Blink about whether they had the information about the train tickets or not. They had gone to Medda's to catch a matinee show the previous afternoon, and sat at a table in the back of the theater, deciding that the three of them should go to Central Station and get information about prices and stuff. Both Blink and Mush had made it clear that although paying would be a definite problem for them, they were more than happy to do so, if it was true that Desiree and Aly really didn't have any money. Still Cray was looking forward to when the entire situation was over, and the only ones who reminded her of her past were gone, aside from Julienne. _

"_Cray? Hello?" Cray blinked and saw Asia's waving her hand in front of her face. _

"_What?" she asked absentmindedly. _

"_Ya boy toy is heah" Asia nodded towards the door and Cray turned around, seeing that Spot had just entered the restaurant. Jack Kelly was out of his seat and shaking hands with him two seconds later, preventing Cray from catching his eye. She turned back to Snipes' marbles. _

"_Ah, da Higgins's! Out fa lunch?" Cray watched as Spot walked over to where Lefty and Race were sitting across the table from her, as he spit-shook with Race and kissed Lefty's hand. _

"_Sorry Spot, she ain't available no more" Race told him, smacking Spot's hand away from his wife's. After speaking briefly to Blink and Mush Spot came over to Cray, bending down to give her a kiss. She was waiting for him to take her hand and bring her outside so they could talk, or to lean in close to her ear and whisper an apology for being so insensitive. But all he did was slide into the chair that was summoned for him and pull Cray into his lap, and begin talking to Cowboy. Cray looked around the table, at Mush and Ringlets, giggling about something, Asia and Blink making-out and running their hands all over each other, Race and Lefty, talking quietly and kissing each other once and a while, even Jack and Taylor, holding hands on the table while Jack was talking. She felt Spot's arms wrapped around her waist, but it wasn't the way Race ever held Lefty or Mush held Ringlets. It seemed that he was only holding her to keep her from falling off his lap, not because he wanted her to be close to him. And why couldn't he just apologize for acting so heartless towards her, for turning her down when she came to him for help? Cray suddenly felt a sick feeling in the bottom of her stomach. Hanging around Lefty and the other girls had made her soft. She used to be so unfazed with Spot's treatment of her, before she was his girlfriend, that is. She was working for him, he paid her to do her job and when she was done he left, no questions asked. He owed her nothing, and she had no right to come to him for anything. She had made the mistake of thinking that would change when she became his girlfriend. But Spot wasn't like that. She hadn't known him well enough before to realize what she was getting into. People had told her she was the longest he'd ever been with a girl before, and that had made her think he would treat her differently. But when it came down to it Spot was Spot Conlon, he was an amazing kisser and unbelievably good in bed, a tough leader and ever loyal to his friends, but that element that would have made Cray's relationship with him perfect. She wasn't sure what it was, but she knew Race and Lefty had it, and maybe even Mush and Ringlets, but she had Spot sure didn't. But whatever it was, Cray wanted it; she wanted it so bad she was willing to stay with Spot until they overcame all of their differences and got along perfectly, when he would help her when she asked and she could find some other way to let him know hr feeling for him than stripping down and hopping into bed. _

"_Hey listen doll, I gotta take off" Cray came out of her misty thoughts and looked down at Spot, who was releasing his arms from her waist. _

"_Hm?" she asked as they both stood up. _

"_Jackie-boy an I gotta head ovah ta Harlem…I'll see ya tonight at Lefty an Race's fa pokah, ok?" Cray nodded and let Spot kiss her goodbye, reminding her why she was with him in the first place. She didn't think she could live without Spot Conlon's kisses. She kissed him back once more before he pulled away and joined Jack Kelly in walking out the door. Cray sat back down in her chair and turned to Lefty and Race. _

"_So…ya havin a pahty?" _


	22. Chapter XXII

_"K, ya ready?" Mush asked, handing Desiree her suitcase. She took a deep breath an accepted it, looking at Cray and smiling. It had taken longer than she had expected to get them here, about three weeks longer and a lot of saving, but the five of them were there, standing in the middle of Grand Central Station, waiting for the train to arrive. Aly and Desiree each held a ticket in their gloved hands (they'd managed to get some proper clothes along the way), and Blink and Mush were holding their luggage. Cray kept twisting her hat around, feeling almost honourable about how much she had helped them get here, but also a bit upset about losing two of the people she'd grown up with, no matter how immoral their upbringing was. She would have though Blink and Mush would have been thrilled to not have to save every cent they earned from selling to save up for the tickets anymore, but they looked positively heartbroken at the prospect of Aly and Desiree leaving. Over the weeks Cray had convinced them to leave the Lodging House every once in a while, and they'd go to Tibby's with the guys or to the Boys' Lodging House to hang out, always making sure that Ringlets and Asia were elsewhere when they made their appearances. Apparently Blink and Mush had liked having them around. _

"_A'right, dis it" Cray said, looking up at the clock that was placed on one of the brick pillars in the station. Blink handed Aly her bags as the train pulled in. _

"_Thank you Cray" Desiree said tearfully, hugging her close. As soon as she had let go Aly stepped up and hugged her, pulling away and smiling. Both girls hugged Blink and Mush, who held them there a bit longer than they were expected to. The train whistle blew and Aly and Desiree picked up their suitcases, each giving Cray a kiss. _

"_We'll write"_

"_We promise" Cray nodded and the girls thanked Blink and Mush one last time, before walking away and getting on the train. It began to pull away and the stuck their heads out of the windows waving, and Cray and Blink had to hold Mush back from running at them and kissing their fingers. Soon the train was gone and the three newsies sighed, stuffing their hands into their pockets and turning around slowly, walking around the deserted train station. _

"_How come dey gave Cray a kiss an not us?" Mush asked mournfully, looking up into the pink and orange sky, making Blink and Cray laugh. They strolled around the platform a little while longer until they noticed a cop who was supervising the area was giving them dirty looks, and they started to walk back into the city. _

"_So…whadda we do now?" Blink asked as he lit a cigarette. Cray had been thinking that too, but in a broader way. This had been their project for so long it seemed, and now that it was accomplished, she felt a bit bleak. _

"_Race said he an Lefty are going wid Jack to a pokah game in Midtown" Mush said, but Cray shook her head. _

"_Nah, I'm kinda tired" she told them, sighing. It was half true, she was worn out, but she always was at the end of the day. Spot had told her he was going to be at a cabaret on Long Island tonight, and she didn't know if she was going to go or not. _

"_Well I think dat sounds good…see ya tomorrow Cray" Blink said, waving goodbye as he and Mush took off down an alley that would eventually get them to Midtown. Cray wandered around a bit before scrambling onto the back of a carriage, deciding that wherever it was going was where she was going to. About a block away from the ferry landing to Long Island Cray found herself jumping off the carriage. She squinted her eyes into the dropping sunset as she looked over the Hudson River. The ferry was going to leave, but she didn't feel like getting on it. She sat down on a bench and watched it leave for Long Island, watching it go back and forth twice more until the sun was gone and the sky was a dark purple colour. She stood up them, walking onto the dock, giving the attendant a few cents before walking onto the boat. She shivered as the ferry began to move; it was a late July evening and the wind off the water was cold. Cray realized she wasn't dressed for an evening of flirting with her boyfriend at a show, in her loose camisole and thin grey pants, but she didn't care._

_She sighed as the boat docked and she walked off it into the streets of Long Island. There was music coming from nearly every building she passed as she scanned the names, stopping as the found the one Spot had told her about. The tavern was small and smoky, as most were, and the smell of alcohol was almost overwhelming as she walked in the front door. She searched all the tables and even the stage of dancing girls for Spot, eventually finding her eyes settling on the back of his head. He was sitting at a small table on the far side of the room, and next to him was a small person whose face she could not see, because it was hidden under a mass of matted blonde hair. Cray froze in her steps. Julienne. _

_Cray had no desire to find out why Julienne was there or what they were talking about, or even to do what would have been expected of her in that situation: to run over and demand and explanation, making a scene and possible bursting out with tears and uncontrollable emotion. But instead she just stood there, tried out form the day but more tired of following Spot around like she was his pet, always craving his attention. She was tired of the place they were at in their relationship, and she didn't want to have to deal with all of the secrets he had that she didn't know, his history with Julienne and everything. She hated them being together, even though they weren't doing anything romantic. Cray actually wondered if she would have liked it better to find Spot cheating on her with some other girl, instead of meeting in secret to discuss things she didn't know with Julienne. They still hadn't seen her, and Cray moved over to the bar and asked for gin, then scotch, then whiskey and finally the bartender just gave her vodka. Nine drinks later Cray was throwing up over the side of the ferry, and was stumbling back to Manhattan, throwing leering and flirtatious looks to every guy she saw, her alcohol-drenched mind telling her that she needed to get back at Spot somehow, to make him pay for what he had done to her, even if she couldn't remember what that was. After getting groped by a guy she found smoking on the steps of a museum, Cray began looking around for newsies, thinking desperately that it would be better to hook up with one of Spot friends than some guy off the street; that would hurt him more. She wandered into Irving Hall where Dutchy, Specs and Skittery were, throwing herself at them, pouting when she didn't get a response. They knew better than to take advantage of Brooklyn's girl, no matter how drunk she was. They told her gently she had to go home, and Cray was once again prowling the streets for guys she knew, her drunken instincts hungry for sex. She found herself knocking on Lefty's door, not even knowing where she was, seeing the blurry figure of Race opening the door, who was surprised to find his wife's best friend throwing herself at him, her breath reeking of alcohol as she hung onto his neck. He dragged her into their flat and woke Lefty up, and the two of them pried Cray off of Race, laying her down on the couch and placing a damp cloth on her forehead. Cray saw them looking down at her, and shook her head at Lefty's invitation to stay the night. They were both reluctant to let her leave, and Cray refused Race's offer to walk her back home to rudely they slammed the door on her when she left. The walk back to the Girls' Lodging House seemed to take hours, and when Cray walked through the door she found herself eye to eye with Blink, who was going home from his visit with Asia. Cray plastered a sultry look over her face and sauntered as best she could over to Blink. _

"_Hey baby…" she said in a drippy voice, before she pressed her lips feverishly against his, jumping on top of him and forcing him to fall back into a chair. Blink tasted the liquor on her breath and did his best not to return the kiss, pushing her off him and holding her at an arms distance. He watched as her head rolled back and she finally passed out, and Blink wondered whether it was a good idea to take her upstairs. Instead he picked her up, checked to make sure no one was watching, and carried her across the street to the Boys' Lodging House, creeping upstairs into the bunkroom and placing her on Race's now unused bunk, not sure whether to leave her in her clothes or not. So he sighed and pulled the sheet over her, praying Asia would sneak in wanting more and that Kloppman would say anything in the morning. _

_Morning came and Kloppman said nothing, but Blink told Jack who came back around eleven to find Cray sitting on the bunk with wet hair and a sullen look on her face. _

"_Heya kid" he said, pulling off his cowboy hat leaning against the metal frame of the bunk. She nodded in response and he wiped some sweat off his brow. _

"_So I hoid ya gave quite a few guys some attention las night" he started, feeling a bit uncomfortable with the conversation her knew he had to have. He felt like a father who had to bawl out his misbehaving daughter. _

"_Dutch, Skittery, Specs, Race--a married man Cray, don't ya think dat was bit of a stretch, I mean, how much action did ya think you were gonna get from him?" Cray wasn't laughing at his weak joke though; she hadn't even looked up at him yet. _

"_Does everyone know then? Is it all around dat I've been prostituting myself ta every guy in town?" Jack sat down on the bunk opposite her and sighed. _

"_No, but Lefty an Race were really concerned…all does guys are, especially Blink…God Cray, whad ya do ta him?" she still wasn't laughing, but she looked up at him remorsefully. _

"_I was drunk, an-" her voice was already cracking, and Jack didn't want her to cry. _

"_I know ya were, but listen, ya can't--" her green eyes were filling up with tears and she looked distressed and lonely, and Jack could do it. He could walk by poor, starving children on the street and not cave into their cries, he could stay firm when he was soaking someone, but he could not yell at Cray. _

"_Ya can't…ya can I mean…ya can." Cray looked at him, confused. _

"_I can…what?" she asked. Jack sighed and stood up. _

"_Ya can crash head whenevah ya want." He told her, running a hand through his hair. Cray looked up at him in shock; Jack had been known to lock his own boys out of the lodging house if they came back drunk, and she was sure this invitation for a permanent vacancy was rare. _

"_I can?" Jack nodded. _

"_Yeah…Taylah don't like her goils coming home drunk, and she'll give ya a hahd time. You can stay heah if ya evah in trouble." His gesture made Cray suddenly much happier, and for a moment the night before and its events were gone. She jumped up off the bunk and hugged him, thanking him profusely and skipped out of the Boys' Lodging House. She felt the sudden burst of energy leave her when she stepped outside, as she realized she now had to go apologise to Dutchy, Specs, Skittery, plus Race and Lefty. with a groan she dragged herself towards Tibby's, finding almost everyone there, having lunch. The boys completely forgave her, insisting that it happened to everyone and they weren't at all offended by her behaviour. Race and Lefty responded similarly, and Lefty asked what Cray was planning on doing for the rest of the afternoon. _

"_I'll be around" Cray told her uneasily. She knew it was time for her to go see Spot, whether she was going to pretend not to have seen him the previous night or blow up in his face she didn't know, but she knew she was supposed to go to Brooklyn and see him. Cray didn't want to though, and she didn't feel like spilling to Lefty all her uncertainties about their relationship and all the confusion that was going on inside her mind. It was just easier to keep things vague. _

"_Well, I'll hang around wit you if ya like" Lefty offered, but Cray stood up abruptly and shook her head. _

"_Well you shouldn't" she snapped, and then upon feeling sorry for it she relaxed and said, "Maybe I'll stop by the flat tonight to talk." Lefty seemed satisfied and Cray made her exit quickly, slowing as soon as she realized where she was headed. She didn't let herself turn away from Brooklyn; she headed right towards it like she was supposed to. But Cray did let herself get distracted, and she wandered off around the docks, pleased to see that there was no one around but a few men loading crates off of a boat. She leaned against one of the wooden pillars of the dock, looking out across the bay, wishing she could jump in. Just as that thought came into her mind Cray felt someone crash into her back, throwing her front-first into the water. Her cap floated to the surface first, then she kicked her way back up, bursting out and gasping for air. She blinked the salt water out of her eyes and kicked helplessly, wishing that she was a better swimmer than a sinker, and wishing her shoes didn't feel so heavy. It felt like she as being pulled down. She gazed up to the dock, watching someone's blurry figure pulling themself out of the water. Cray kept ducking down under the water, and she found it hard to breathe. It suddenly occurred to her that she might be drowning. All at once, just ask she was about to slip under again, she felt a pair of arms taking hold of her waist and pulling her up out of the water. Cray felt herself being laid onto the dock, and she coughed and gasped for air, water spilling out of her mouth. Once she was sure she could breathe properly again she rolled onto her side to peer at the body lying on the dock next to her. It was a boy, whose clothes were soaked and who was also coughing up water, his hand over his mouth. Her eyes travelled down to his other hand which was by his side, clutching her cap. He turned to look at her, and a small, shy smile came across his lips. _

"_You gave me a fright" he said breathlessly, sitting up and attempting to wring out his shirt. Cray had to stop herself from laughing as the words came out of his mouth. She wasn't used to hearing a British accent. _

"_Thanks fa pullin me out" she said with a grin. She sat up and crossed her legs, and he gave her her cap back. Something about the coy way he smiled at her made her blush and giggle, and she suddenly felt like Ringelts. They sat there looking at each other for a moment, their smiles not going away._

"_I'm Cray" Cray told him, her grin not fading. His brown eyes lit up a bit. _

"_I'm Will" _


	23. Chapter XXIII

_Lefty woke up with a start and clenched her stomach, touching her forehead and feeling ice cold sweat on her fingers. She felt dizzy and sick, and suddenly felt her stomach lurch and she ran into the bathroom. After a minute she had finished and was pressing a wet cloth to her mouth and face, hearing a noise from outside the door. _

"_Lefty?" Race hoarse voice called. It was two in the morning and Lefty was out of bed for the third time that week. He opened the bathroom door slowly and peered, knowing she had gotten sick again and took the cloth from her hand, rinsing it and putting it against her cheek. _

"_I'm alright" Lefty said before he asked, looking at her ashen reflection in the mirror above the sink. _

"_Can you open da window?" she asked, sighing. Race raised his eyebrows. _

"_Ya know its November, right?" he asked as he opened the small window that looked into the alley the back of their flat faced. He winced as the icy air swept into the room but Lefty did not, and her skin looked sallow and pale. _

"_It's dat thing Blink's got," she concluded finally, "I knew I shouldn't have gone out wid him Friday night." Race shrugged an wrapped his arms around her front. _

"_Yeah…" he thought about how Blink had been sick all week, but them a smile crept across his lips. _

"_Or maybe it's mornin sickness" Lefty looked up at him, taken aback. _

"_Morning sickness?" she could hardly believe he knew what it was. _

"_Yeah, maybe ya gonna have a baby" he was smiling genuinely, but Lefty pulled out of his embrace with unease, standing on her toes so she could reach and shut the window. They had barely been married six months and already Race was talking about children; and this wasn't the first time. _

"_Maybe not" she said severely as the window shut, and she pulled her nightdress around her. She walked into the bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed, wishing that Race hadn't brought it up. It wasn't that she didn't want to have children, but Lefty had expected to wait at least a year until the subject was even brought up. The prospect of having a child frightened her more than ever told Race, or anyone, even Taylor. She looked up at Race who was staring down at her with puppy-dog eyes, and she wished she hadn't snapped at him. He sat down next to her and put his arm around her shoulders. _

"_What would you want?" _

"_Hm?" Lefty looked over at him. _

"_What would you want, a boy or a goil?" Race asked, leaning close to her so their foreheads touched. Lefty didn't know; it wasn't like she had a choice, and all she could have asked for was a healthy kid they could afford to take care of. _

"_I dunno Race…a goil, maybe" Race grinned. _

"_What's wrong wid boys?" Lefty leaned her head on his shoulder. _

"_Boys or goils Race, whatevah you want" Race smirked and kissed her nose, climbing under the sheets. She blew the candle out and sighed. _

"_How about twins? Let's have twins Lefty" Lefty lay against him and hopes that by morning he would forget the whole thing. _

_But seven o'clock rolled around and Race was halfway out the door when he said, _

"_So I want ya ta go to da doctah, a'right?" Lefty looked at him strangely. She'd never been to a doctor before; she never had to, there was always Taylor. _

"_Why?" Race walked back into the flat and closed the door. _

"_Well…just to see" he put his hands on her narrow waist and kissed her. Lefty pulled away, for once wishing he would go to work and let her be alone and think. _

"_You're gonna be late" she told him matter-of-factly. He smirked at her and kissed her again, before walking out the door and shutting it softly. Lefty sat down at the table with a moan, and laid her head down, feeling sick again. She knew it wasn't unrealistic for Race to be thinking about kids; most women, or girls rather, her age who were married were already starting a family, but Lefty wasn't ready for that. She was barely prepared to get married at fifteen, and the thought of childbirth made her feel ill. She doubted she would be physically able to do it. And Lefty had just began to really get used to being married, finally, after six months, it didn't freak her out to have Race leaving her every morning. She'd sell and hang out with the boys till lunch, and then she'd go with Race to the tracks till he got off from work, and then they'd spend the rest of the night as they pleased. She didn't want kids to mess things up. But then again she was late, really late, and she wanted to know if anything was going on. There was a doctor she knew of, that Taylor had gone to when one of the girls was really sick, but Lefty knew she'd have to ask Taylor to find out where his office was, and that would lead to a lot of questions…_

_There was a sudden knock on the door, and Lefty blinked out of her daze to answer it. She opened the door to find a tall, fair blonde boy standing in the hallway nervously. _

"_Yes?" she asked, and the boy quickly pulled of his hat. _

"_Um, yes, hello miss…sorry to bother you but do you know anyone named Crayola? I know that sounds like a strange name for a person but--" _

"_Yes, of course I know Cray…why?" Lefty stared at the boy strangely. His English accent caught her of-guard. She'd never spoke to a Brit before. _

"_Is she here?" he asked, leaning in awkwardly to look into the flat. _

"_No…why would she be here? How do you know her?" the boy stiffened and played with his hat. _

"_Someone said she'd be here" _

"_Who?" _

"_A boy"_

"_What boy"_

"_In Manhattan"_

"_We're in Manhattan; what boy?" Lefty was growing tired of playing this game with an English stranger in the hallway. _

"_A boy at the place where the newsboys live" he said. Lefty put a hand on her forehead, feeling a headache coming on. _

"_Come in," she said after an agitated pause. Reluctantly the boys stepped into the house, and Lefty sighed restlessly as she closed the door. He sat down only after she invited him to, and continually played with his hat throughout the conversation. _

"_Will…my name's Will" he told her, his brown eyes darting back and forth between her pale blue ones. Will had never seen eyes of that colour, that strange, clear light blue. Cray's eyes were a soft, yet bright green, always looking at him sweetly, making him feel very loved. This girl had piercing eyes, that shot through him and made him feel very nervous. Will couldn't imagine this girl's eyes ever looking sweet or loving. Her beauty was pale and fragile, and she reminded him of all the poor, sick girls he knew from back home in England. Perhaps that was why he loved being with Cray so much. She was small but not frail or delicate. She was soft and warm and he was never afraid that she might fall over if she ran, or if he caught her up in his arms and swung her around. She was so independent and strong, so different than any girl he had ever known before. _

"_Will?" the girl's voice said his name and he snapped out of thought. _

"_I'm Lefty, Lefty Higgins" he nodded politely and remembered the name Higgins. The tall boy with the cowboy hat had said Cray may be at the Higgins's flat… _

"_Are you Irish miss?" he asked, hoping to find something they had in common, even if it was only that they came from the same part of the world. _

"_No...my husband's father was Irish" Will's eyes flickered to her left hand and saw the small diamond on it. He suddenly felt very wary of his behaviour, in case Lefty was married to a tall, strong Irish man that might come and beat him up if he was impolite to her. _

"_Anyways…Will, is it? Why would ya think Cray would be heah, an who at da Lodgin House told ya, and how do ya know her?" Will felt anxious again, and was very careful not to let Lefty see his apprehensive face. He and Cray had been together for almost three months, and from the beginning she'd made it clear that she didn't want anyone to know. At first she had avoided spending time with him in the morning or at lunch, always insisting that they go out late at night. Will never minded; Cray was headstrong and single-minded, and that was what he loved about her. Their late-night expositions were always pleasurable and romantic, yet after a time he began to wonder and ask her why she never introduced him to any of the people she talked about so much. They had strange names like Kid Blink and Mush and Racetrack, and he'd always assumed that one day they would bump into these people that filled Cray's stories, but they never did. Cray was so mysterious about what she did and where she lived, reluctant to tell Will about her past or private life. _

_But as there relationship deepened he learned more, until he knew she worked as a newsgirl and stayed at the Lodging House when she wasn't with him at his small flat in Coney Island. She'd told him not long ago that he was never to go looking for her at the Lodging House, and even though he had asked her hundreds of times if she was in danger or in trouble, she always shook her head with a smile, kissing him and always saying "But don't you love dis? Don't you love being alone with me, when no one else knows about us, and we can be completely alone? Don't you see how much better it is when it's kept a secret?" _

_Will had never had a demanding or harsh disposition, and he gladly did what Cray asked him to. But he hadn't seen her for five days, and her absence frightened him. He had seen her every night since the day they met, and five days ago there were going to meet at the piers on Long Beach near Midtown at ten. He was there first, as he usually was, leaning against the dock and waiting for the first flash of her red hair from across the street. He always saw that first, her hair, whether in the dark by candlelight or underneath a lamppost. Then he would hear her laughter she always gave when she saw him, then her bright green eyes sparkling at him. But he saw none of that on the beach that night, and he saw none of her for the next five days. At first he was reluctant to ask around about her, because he feared betraying her trust, yet his mind was constantly filled of images of her face, and images of what could have happened to her that would make her disappear. _

_So that morning Will had gone to the Girls' Lodging House on Duane Street, asking if a girl named Cray was there. The tall girl there told him that they hadn't seen her since the night before, and it was a possibility that she could have gone out very early that morning, or she could be over at the newsboys Lodging House. But the boy with the cowboy hat said that she wasn't there, and that he could try the Higgins's flat. All this Will told Lefty, leaving out the bits about how Cray had forbidden him to tell anyone about their relationship. Lefty's face was very still, and she looked somehow confused and pleased at the same time. She crossed her thin arms across her chest and leaned back in her chair, looking more relaxed than Will had seen her since she opened the door. Suddenly a wide grin broke out on her lips, and she looked up at Will with smiling eyes. _

"_So you're tellin me, dat Cray's had a secret, British boyfriend fa three months?" Will nodded meekly, wondering why Lefty found his plight so funny. _

"_God, how did she evah get away wid it? She must have been sneaking out every night!" Will blushed and Lefty fell into a fit of giggles and laughter. Even she and Race hadn't been that sly, even when they were first going out. _

"_She's a smart little thing...an you nevah got caught?" Will shook his head. Lefty laughed again. _

"_Well den I've got ta go congratulate her! An den find out how she managed to pull off a three-month courtship right unda Taylah's nose" her laughing didn't cease until she got a glance of Will's face. _

"_Lefty--Mrs. Higgins," he corrected, still having that image of Lefty's huge Irish husband beating his brains in, "Mrs. Higgins. We still don't know where Cray is! Can't you help me find her?" _

"_I bet it was da accent. I bet she heard dat cute little English accent and didn't want to tell anyone. Bet she wanted you all to herself" Lefty said, still grinning. _

"_Mrs. Higgins!" Will blushed again at her flirting. She smiled and got up from the table. _

"_Well Will, she could be anyweah" Will's face dropped, "Don't cry!" she teased, putting a hand on his shoulder. Will looked down at her pretty, smiling face, only wishing that he was looking down at Cray instead. _

"_C'mon, get your coat an we'll find her" Will nodded and Lefty put on her thin black coat, buttoning it up and putting her old newsie cap on her head. She took Will's hand, pleased to see that the contact made him nervous. He was almost as fun to tease and flirt with as Race was when they first started going out. She pushed him out the door and shut it behind her, the worry that had haunted her earlier that morning completely chased away. _


	24. Chapter XXIV

_Will and Lefty spent the next hour wandering around Manhattan. Although Will enjoyed Lefty's company, he feared that she wasn't taking the situation as seriously as he was. Ever since he'd told her about his romance with Cray she'd dropped her austere persona and slipped back into being cheerful and funny. She was very beautiful, and quite charming to Will, but she kept stopping along the sidewalk and talking to people, mostly newsies who were out selling their morning papers. She ask them if they'd seen Cray, then they'd no and the two of them would start talking about something else. Then Lefty would bum a cigarette off them, lighting up and walking slower than Will would have liked. _

"_Sure ya don't wanna smoke Will?" She asked, exhaling a thin stream of smoke. Will shook his head, stuffing his hands into his pockets. _

"_Dere's nothing bettah on a cold day dan a cigarette" she told him, taking a long drag. Will had never smoked before, and he didn't intend to start. _

"_Smoking might be bad for your health miss" Will told her, "it makes you look older than you really are" _

"_Is dat what dey tell ya ovah in England?" she asked sharply._

"_Well…"_

"_Does it make me look older than I really am, Will?" Lefty stopped walking; leaning against the metal railing that lined the sidewalk. _

"_Well…"_

"_Hold old do ya think I am Will?" Lefty asked seriously, knowing it was mean to tease him and make him nervous, but she wanted her fun. Will looked at her face. Her eyes were bright and clear, her skin smooth and her cheeks rosy from the late autumn breeze. She was so small in thin it seemed like she was no older than fifteen, but she was married and she seemed very smart and witty. _

"_You're very lovely miss Lefty" Will said, forgetting that to complement her so was crossing the boundaries, but he knew that flattery might be the only way to save him from what could be a very awkward situation. At this Lefty laughed and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, a skipped down the street. Will stood in shock, wondering if maybe Lefty's relationship with her husband wasn't as it should be, and she was one of those girls who liked to find pleasure outside the walls of their homes. _

"_C'mon!" Lefty shouted, and Will hurried up to follow her. They took a few turns down into alleyways until they were at the back of what seemed to be a very large, grand building. Lefty dropped her cigarette on the ground and smothered it with her shoe, before shouting up into one of the open windows. _

"_Toby!" after a few seconds a large, stout man with no shirt on leaned out the window, a bottle of wine in one hand. _

"_Heya Toby" Lefty shouted again, waving up at him, "is it open?" _

"_Go right in Mrs. Higgins, who ya come ta see, Medda?" _

"_Maybe, an whatta ya going drinking at ten o'clock in da mornin huh?" Toby laughed and took another swig of wine as Lefty walked towards the door and opened it. _

"_C'mon Will" Lefty said impatiently, and Will obediently shuffled into the building, hearing a loud crash outside. He turned around to see the wine bottle shattered on the ground in the exact spot where he had been standing. _

"_Guess Toby's a bit out of it dis morning." Lefty commented, shutting the door behind them. Will looked around, gathering that they were in the backroom of some kind of theatre. There was all sorts of costumes and music and things lying about, and Will wondered why Cray would be in such a place. _

"_Where are we?" he asked Lefty._

"_Medda's, Irving Hall. You must have came heah wid Cray a few times" she said, taking off her coat. Will vaguely remembered going to see someone named Medda sing, but then again Will really never paid much attention to the places he and Cray went. He only paid attention to Cray. _

"_Medda?" Lefty asked, peering into a room across the way. _

"_She's still asleep" Both Will and Lefty turned around to see a boy standing at the foot of the stairs. _

"_Heya Ryan," Lefty said and the boy nodded. _

"_Stagehand" Lefty whispered to Will. _

"_Ask him about Cray!" Will urged, feeling slightly uncomfortable in a building full of women's dresses and large drunk men. _

"_Cray's not heah by any change, is she?" Lefty asked, more casually than Will would have liked. He wished she was as concerned as he was. _

"_Crayola? Yeah, she's been heah fa da past few days. Didn't you know?" Lefty looked at Will, eyebrows raised._

"_Really. Well den. Is she upstairs, in one a da rooms?" Ryan nodded again. _

"_Yeah, she's been in one a da spare bedrooms on da second floor" _

"_A'right, let's go" she began to head up the stairs and Will followed, only to find Ryan standing in h is way, preventing him from going up the stairs. _

"_Yes?" Will asked, trying not to sound irritated or menacing. He feared he was already in enough trouble for one day. _

"_Cray made it very cleah dat she wanted no male visitors" Ryan told him crossly. Lefty rolled her eyes from behind him, leaning against the railing. _

"_Now come one Rye, he's her--"_

"_No guys. Cray made dat really specific Lefty." Lefty sighed and shrugged at Will, who looked up at her, brown eyes pleading. _

"_Sorry Will. Lemme talk to her, I'll see if she comes around" _

"_But--"But Lefty had already disappeared up the staircase, and Will was left alone to sit and wonder in his sad solitude._

_Lefty found the door of the room Cray was in. She knocked softly twice, waiting for Cray's voice to come from the other side. She missed Cray; she hadn't seen her for a few weeks, and she was desperate to ask her about her secret love life with Will. _

"_Yes?" Lefty heard Cray voice coming from inside, sound tired. _

"_Cray? It's me, Lefty" there was a pause. _

"_Lefty? It's open; come in" Lefty opened the door and walked into the small bedroom. It was truly very small, with only enough room for a bureau and a bed, with a window facing the back street. Cray was sitting up in bed, reading a book. _

"_Oh Cray" Lefty breathed softly, looking into her friends face. She looked as pale and worn as Lefty had looked the night before after she had gotten sick. There were large dark circles around Cray's eyes, and the spark in her eyes was gone. _

"_Cray, what's happened to you?" Lefty wondered aloud, moving over the bed and pulling off her hat and coat, letting them fall to the floor. She sat on the bed and felt Cray's forehead, finding it to be hot and damp. _

"_Oh Lefty," Cray began, coughing into the sleeve of her nightgown. _

"_God," Lefty whispered, kissing Cray's palm and holding her hand in hers. _

"_Cray why on earth have you been hiding away up heah for so long?" Cray sighed and rested her head against the headboard of the bed. _

"_Lefty…" _

"_An why have you been hiding from Will?" Cray's eyes opened her eyes very wide and stared at Lefty in shock. _

"_Will? You know about Will?" she asked faintly, "how-"_

"_Oh Cray of course I know about Will." Lefty said quickly, "did ya think you could keep him a secret fa dis long?" she smiled at Cray, who looked slightly impish. _

"_How'd ya do it Cray?" Lefty asked girlishly, and Cray looked at her delightedly. _

"_Mmmm Will" Lefty laughed and Cray giggled a bit, but that turned into a cough and Lefty held her hands._

"_It's ok Cray, we can talk about dat lata, but why have you been hiding up heah like dis; are you dat sick?" Cray leaned back again, perspiration gleaming on her forehead. _

_Lefty--" she coughed and, and Lefty leaned in closer to her, "Lefty, I think-" she coughed again. _

"_Yes?" _

"_Lefty, I think I might…I mean I think I could be-"_

"_Yes?" Cray looked up into Lefty's clear eyes and sighed. _

"_I think I might be pregnant Lefty" _

_Now it was Lefty's turn to let her eyes grow wide. She dropped Cray's hands and they fell limply to the bedcovers. She sat up very straight and looked down at her ailing friend, wondering what to say. They sat there together for a very long time, Lefty staring down at Cray, Cray staring off into the distance. _

"_Well at least now I won't be alone when I go to da doctor's to see if I am too" Cray's eyes snapped back to look at Lefty, who had a very serious look on her face. _

"_What? You, you're-" _

"_I might be Cray" Lefty said with a sigh, rolling over so she could lie down on the bed next to Cray. This seemed to make Cray feel better, and sighed as well. _

"_How you know?" she asked Lefty, who closed her eyes. _

"_I've been sick, and I'm late" Cray perked up a bit. _

"_Really? Me too, I'm a week late, how late are you?" Lefty sat up a bit and looked at her strangely. _

"_Two months" Cray drew in a sharp breath._

"_Oh my God, you really are pregnant!" she declared. Lefty moaned and covered her face with her hands._

"_Oh God Cray, please don't say dat" she said in a strained voice. Cray sat up and look around._

"_Let's go now Lefty" she exclaimed, and Lefty looked up at her curiously._

"_Weah?"_

"_To da doctor's of course! Ta see if you are really gonna have a baby!" Cray's face was suddenly covered by an ecstatic smile as she tugged at the sleeve of her friend's dress. _

"_What? Now?" Lefty asked, sitting up._

"_Yes! Before lunch; it's da perfect time! None a da boys'll be around, an Taylah's not gonna be around eitha!" Cray threw back the sheets excitedly and tried to stand up, but found she couldn't. She fell back down on the bed, breathing heavily. _

"_Cray calm down, take it easy" Lefty told her, "ya still sick" _

"_An possibly pregnant" Cray added with a sigh. Lefty smiled._

"_Jus cuz you're a week late doesn't mean ya pregnant love, but you do seem sick." Lefty was worried that Cray had a fever and was somewhat reluctant to take her outside into the cold November air. _

"_Why don't you get dressed Cray" Lefty suggested as Cray stood up and went to the bureau, "put on something warm though" Lefty sat on the bed while Cray got dressed, arms wrapped around her middle, feeling oddly scared about what she was about to do. She knew she should go to the doctor, but she also knew the doctor could tell her things she did not want to find out. And if she was going to find anything out, she wanted Race to be there with her. Lefty bit her lip and thought about what the doctor might say about Cray's condition, when she suddenly remembered about the brown-eyed English boy downstairs._

"_Cray I almost forgot ta tell you!" she called through the bathroom door where Cray was dressing, "Will's downstairs." Cray opened the door, wearing only her skirt and undershirt, looking stunned. _

"_What? He's downstairs now?" she asked in an airy voice. Lefty nodded._

"_Ya might want to ask him to go with you, because if you are…in any sort of…strange condition, you might want him with you." Cray pursed her lips._

"_Den we should bring Race too" she said, buttoning up her shirt, "he's gonna want ta know if your havin a baby" Lefty shook her head. _

"_No…let's not tell Race, not yet" Cray cocked her head._

"_Why?" Lefty didn't really know why. A moment ago she would have ran to the tracks to get Race by her side, but for some reason she didn't want that now. He had been so excited about the thought that she was pregnant, so demanding that she find out if she was immediately. Maybe it was selfish of her, but if Lefty was pregnant she wanted to have that secret to herself, even if it was only for a few hours. That would give her time to think it over and decide how she would tell Race. And if she wasn't she didn't want Race to be there to find out. She didn't want to get his hopes up only to have him be disappointed. _

"_I just wanna do dis by myself" Cray nodded and put on her shoes, then her coat and hat. Lefty suggested gloves and a shawl but Cray had neither, so the two girls left to the room and went downstairs to see Will sitting on the couch in the backroom, still playing with his hat. He looked up when he heard them, first seeing Lefty and giving her and anxious look._

"_Well? Where is--Cray!" He stood up and dropped his hat, an overjoyed smile spreading across his face. Cray looked at Lefty with a smile and then looked at Will, who ran to her and picked her up, twirling her around and kissing her. Lefty laughed at watching them kiss, glad that Will might finally stop whimpering about Cray's missing. _

"_Darling where did you go?" Will asked as he set Cray down, hugging her tightly. Cray tried to talk but he kissed her again, and Lefty rolled her eyes. _

"_Cray's been a bit sick for da past few days, so we're jus gonna go ovah ta da doctor's an see if everything's alright" Will looked from Lefty to Cray, a slightly panicked look on his face. _

"_You've been ill? Why didn't you tell me!" Cray shook her head and smiled into Will's exasperated face._

"_It's nothing, just a cough an a bit of a fever, maybe" Will looked at her as though she'd told him she had pneumonia. Lefty thought it curious that Cray had seemed to abandon her pregnancy theory so quickly. _

"_Lefty's going too" Cray continued._

"_You're sick too miss?" Will asked Lefty, who opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by Cray's hoarse voice._

"_Lefty might be havin a baby!" she told Will, beaming like Ringlets always did when something wonderful was about to happen. Will opened his mouth in shock._

"_That's wonderful Mrs. Higgins! Congra-"_

"_Oh Will, don't call her Mrs. Higgins, she's Lefty" Cray told him, then she looked at Lefty with a grin on her face, "Will is always too polite." She said laughing, and then coughing. Will took off his coat and put it around her shoulder. Lefty noted silently how much he doted on Cray, and wondered if that was why she liked him so much. The attention he gave her was almost sickening. _

"_Then let's go!" Will said, putting his hand on Cray lower back to escort her out the door. Lefty followed them out the door, but stopped when they reached the street. _

"_Wait, Cray we don't know where da doctor's is" she said, remembering that the one she was planning on going to earlier that morning was the one that Taylor, not she, knew of. _

"_Oh yes, I do. Dere's one near da town hall dat we always used to go to back at--"Will looked at her apprehensively, but Cray stopped. _

"_Back where?" Will asked kindly, as if he was helping her to accomplish a very difficult task. Lefty looked at Cray's silent face and cut in._

"_Back at da Lodgin House, when we were little. Cray I don't remember which direction it was, why don't you lead da way" Cray nodded to her gratefully and Lefty smiled as the three of them set of to the center of town. _

_Lefty sat in the doctor's office, her back hurting from sitting in the wooden chair for so long. They'd been there for about an hour, the large clock in the little waiting room told her. Lefty had never been in a doctor's office before, and it certainly wasn't as she imagined. She had expected it to be clean and white, like the hospital that was a few blocks away. They'd had to take Boots to the hospital a few years ago when he was badly injured in a bar brawl. This room was very richly decorated with a large fireplace. The chairs and sofas were made of dark wood with may deep blue pillows on them, and there was a lady in a fancy blue dress with a high collar sitting at a large desk, filling out papers._

_Lefty felt quite out place in her plain dark red dress, with its simple scoop neck collar and ¾ length sleeves. It had no fine lace or beaded decorations, but it did go all the way to the floor, as all her dresses did. When they came in the lady with the nice dress had taken their coats and hats and looked them over with distain, asking them forcedly if they would like any tea while they waited. They declined and she gave them all informational sheets to fill out, saying that they would have to wait a bit because they didn't have an appointment. But the doctor came out and Will (quite rudely, Lefty thought,) said that Cray should go in first. That was about forty-five minutes ago, and Lefty was growing tired of sitting in the uncomfortable wooden chair. She'd already memorized the patters of the rugs, gave silly names to all of the ugly people in the paintings on the walls, and wondered continuously about how much the dress the lady at the desk wore cost. Finally the door from the other room opened and Cray and Will emerged, both looking equally relieved. _

"_I'm not--" Lefty gave her a look and Cray caught herself, "dat sick" Will nodded and took her hand. _

"_It's just a cold, a bad one, but she's alright" he said, smiling down at Cray. Lefty rolled her eyes and stared at him cynically. _

"_All dat fussing over a silly little cold" she said, looking at Cray accusingly, who opened her mouth in protest._

"_We'll talk about it lata" Lefty said, sitting back down in her chair. Just then the lady came out of the other room with a paper in her hand._

"_Emma Higgins?" Lefty winced at the sound of her birthname and stood up. _

"_The doctor will see you now" Lefty walked past her into the room Cray and Will had emerged from and heard the door close behind her. The room she was in now was most certainly an office, with many books on the walls and strange bottles in the tables. She stood there wringing her hands until she saw a tall man emerge from across the way. _

"_Miss Higgins?" he asked. Lefty looked up at him. He was not who she had expected to see. He was very young and tall and handsome, with deep blue eyes and tousled dark hair. No wonder Cray had come of looking so happy. _

"_Mrs Higgins" she corrected, and he smiled warmly. _

"_Well then Mrs, Higgins, would you like to sit down?" _

_Lefty walked out of the office and into the waiting room. The door was closed again behind her and she leaned against the back of it. Will and Cray were sitting on the couch, both of them staring at her intently. _

"_Well?" Cray said, breaking the silence. Lefty bit her lip and looked around, wondering where the nurse had gone. _

"_Well?" Cray asked again, getting up and walking over to her. She took Lefty's hand and gave it a little squeeze. _

"_Well? What did he say Lefty?" she asked in a hushed, excited tone. The sighed and then took a deep breath._

"_He said, he said-" _

"_Yes?" Will had now gotten up and was staring down at Lefty, looking as anxious as he had when Cray was missing. _

"_He said I'm going to have a baby?" Lefty asked, making the statement a question. Cray broke out into laughter and Will smiled happily. The both began to talk to her at once, congratulating her and asking her when it was due and when she would tell Race. Lefty stared past them into the fireplace, still in shock._

"_I'm going to have a baby?" she asked again, looking at Cray, who was still laughing. _

"_Yes, yes you are Lefty! Aren't you happy?" _

"_I'm going to have a baby" Lefty said, a smile beginning to play on her lips, "I'm going to have a baby!" she was laughing now, and crying a bit, hugging Cray close and clapping her hands together. _

"_You're going to have a baby, Mrs. Lefty Higgins" Cray said, crying to, wiping one of the tears off Lefty's smiling face. _

"_I am" Lefty said laughing, the tears still pouring down her cheeks. She and Cray hugged again and Will put a hand on Lefty's shoulder._

"_Miss, won't your husband like to know?" he suggested, and Lefty grinned at him. _

"_Oh yeah, isn't it perfect? You're havin a baby an Race doesn't know!" Cray giggled, coughing a bit. Lefty's smile suddenly faded, and the impact of what had just happened hit her. Race wasn't there. Why did Will have his hand on her shoulder? Where was Race? At work or something. She was in such a happy, confused daze that Lefty didn't know where he was. Only that he wasn't there. Her hand pressed against her middle, where the baby was, she thought. She looked at the clock. Eleven thirty. Race would be leaving the tracks soon to go to Tibby's for lunch. But she didn't want to tell him there, in front of everyone. _

"_Cray, I'm going home" Lefty told her. _

"_But, why?" Cray asked, suddenly subdued, "don't you wanna see Race?" _

"_Tell him dat I'm at home, when you see him at Tibby's, I mean" Lefty instructed. _

"_Ok…but-"_

"_Cray, I'll be fine. Will can take you ta Tibby's, I'm sure, and you can tell everyone about your 'new' boyfriend at lunch. Just tell Race to come see me at home" with this Lefty put on her coat and hat and walked out the door, leaving Cray and Will alone to discuss their no-longer secret relationship. _


	25. Chapter XXV

Hey guys! Sorry to interrupt your reading, but I'd just like to clarify one thing to ElleestJenn and anyone else who might be confused: Cray is not pregnant. It really was just a bad cold; Lefty is the only one expecting. Any other questions? E-mail me! Thanks! ;)

_"Lefty?" Race called as he opened the door to their flat. He poked his head in and looked around, wondering where she was. He'd gone to Tibby's and expected to see her sitting there with everyone, waiting for him, but she wasn't. In her usual seat was Cray, who was talking with a blonde boy he had never seen before. When he asked about Lefty Cray had laughed and covered her mouth, managing to say that she was at home, before falling into a fit of giggles. So Race had sighed and walked off to their apartment, smoking as he went. Now he put his cigarette out and looked around his house. _

"_Lefty?" he called again, more quietly this time. _

"_Hm?" Race turned around to see Lefty, leaning again doorframe of their bedroom. Race smiled and looked at her. She was wearing his favourite dress. It was a light blue, floor length dress made of soft, thin material that she only wore in spring and summer at parties. It had a very low neck and a tight bodice, and had to be worn with a corset because the waist was so small. It was decorated with white lace at the neck and sleeves. Race loved it because it made Lefty's eyes shine and her skin glow. He was always pleased to see her in it, but could think about why she was wearing her best summer dress on a cold, Wednesday afternoon in November. _

"_Heya Race" Lefty said softly as he leaned in to kiss her. _

"_Heya doll" Race said, smiling and playing with the lace on her dress, "what's da occasion?" Lefty smiled shyly and played with the skirt of the dress, swishing it around like a little girl in her mother's clothes. _

"_Do I look nice in it?" she asked Race innocently. He gave a small laugh and kissed her forehead. _

"_A'course ya do dahling, you're beautiful" Race told her, quite honestly. He always thought she looked beautiful, no matter what she wore. _

"_Lefty, why weren't you at Tibby's?" he asked, leaning against the opposite side of the doorframe and crossing arms across his chest. Lefty shrugged and stood up properly, sauntering into the kitchen, running her finger along the length of the table. _

"_Oh, I just wanted to put on my dress…it'll be da last time I'll be able ta wear it" Race looked at her in confusion. _

"_You're throwing it out? But why?" Race never understood girls and their clothes, but he knew that all girls loved pretty dresses, and that Lefty knew that the pale blue one was his favourite. _

"_Oh I'm not throwing it away" Lefty said, looking at him as though he was crazy for thinking of such an idea. _

"_Den, why--"_

"_I jus won't fit into it this spring, so I think I'm just gonna wear it today, for fun" Lefty put her hands on one of the chairs, rocking it foreword and back, her dress swishing with every movement she made. Race walked over to her, looking at her slim, tiny body. The dress fit her perfectly; it would never be able to fit any of the other girls, and he could think of any reason for her not to fit into it come spring. _

"_Lefty, what are ya talkin about?" he asked, putting his arms around her thin waist. _

"_Come ta think of it, I'm not gonna be able ta fit into any a my old clothes…I'll have ta get new ones…" Lefty said to herself more than to Race, who bit his lip and looked at her impatiently. _

"_Lefty, what are ya talkin about?" he asked again, loudly. She was driving him to a point of annoyance he rarely felt with her._

"_Race--" _

"_What?" he nearly yelled. Her smile aggravated him as she stood on her tiptoes to lean in close to him. _

"_I'm going to have a baby" she whispered, almost inaudibly, into his ear. Race's eyes went very wide and round as his face turned white. Lefty held her laughter in and draped her arms around his neck, hugging him and leaning against him. She had kept her secret for almost two hours, enough time for her to overcome the indicial shock and begin to get used to the idea. But Race did not have that advantage, and was now at Lefty's mercy as she held onto his thin frame, half because she was so happy, and half because she was afraid that if she let him go, he would fall to the ground. After a few moments Lefty looked up at him to see if his facial expression had changed, and it had. He now looked down at her in bewilderment and surprise. His eyes were very large and dark, but soon his thin lips drew into a grin. _

"_Really?" he whispered to her. Lefty smiled and leaned in to him so their noses were almost touching._

"_Really." Race let out a happy yell and started too laugh, picking Lefty up and twirling her about as Will had done to Cray earlier that morning. He danced with her all around the kitchen, shouting "a baby a baby a baby a baby a baby!" at the top of his lungs, but Lefty never grew tired of hearing the words. They were both laughing as they twirled around the floor, until Lefty thought she could take no more and he set her on top of the table to rest. They had tears of laughter and joy in their eyes that they wiped from each other's faces. Race kissed her again and again, until she pushed him away and held his face in her hands. _

"_Aren't you glad I went to da doctah like you wanted?" Lefty asked breathlessly. Race grinned and kissed her again. _

"_Oh yeah, what did he say? When is da baby due?" he asked excitedly, lacing his fingers through hers._

"_July, it's due in July, so dat means I've been pregnant for two months already, an we didn't even know" Race ran a hand through his hair and resisted the urged to jump up and down. _

"_Two months? An we didn't even know…but you're gonna be alright, right?" he asked, putting a hand on her middle. Lefty smiled and kissed his forehead. _

"_Yes, I'll be fine Race, we'll both be fine" she added, still adjusting to the idea of having something growing inside of her, "but we'll have ta tell Taylah soon, so she can tell me what do about everything" Race sighed and closed his eyes, leaning against Lefty's shoulder. Lefty slid off the table and hugged him close, kissing his cheek and leaning against his chest. _

"_So what do ya want Racetrack, a boy or a goil?" she whispered, and Race softly laughed. _

"_What evah you want doll," he told her, rocking her gently back and forth. Race was still in a mild state of shock. He'd woken up a husband and come home a father. _

"_So who gets to know first?" he heard Lefty ask. Race suddenly felt very protective of Lefty, and realized he didn't want anyone fussing over her, besides him, of course. _

"_Does any one know?" he asked her, stroking her hair. _

"_Only Cray an--only Cray" Lefty said, deciding not to go into Will at the moment, "she went with me to da doctor" Race nodded._

"_Good, I'm glad you didn't go by yourself." He actually felt a slight guilt that he wasn't there himself, and decided then that he was not going to leave her alone again, for any reason. Lefty sighed and Race put his hands on her shoulders. _

"_Are you ok? Are ya tired? Do you want something ta drink, or eat? You're eating fa two now, so you'll have to-" Lefty cut him off with a kiss and rested her head on his shoulder. _

"_I am a liddle tired Race, maybe-" but Race had already picked her up and was carrying her into their bedroom and onto the bed. He pulled the sheets over her and slid into bed next to her, not caring that she was in her lace dress and he in his work clothes. He kissed her cheek and pulled her very close. _

"_How long until you have ta go back?" Lefty asked softly. _

"_A half an hour" Race told her. Lefty bit her lip. She felt that familiar, bitter feeling that she always got when he had to leave her creeping on, but this time ten times as strong as it usually was. _

"_But maybe I won't go back" she heard Race say, almost as if he read her thoughts on her face. He propped himself up on his elbow and faced her, playing with the lace on her dress again. _

"_Maybe I can get da aftanoon off, and you an I can walk around or go sit someweah quiet an have coffee or something" he sounded as though he was asking her permission to stay with her, and Lefty smiled. _

"_Mmmmmm…I like dat plan. Or maybe we could just stay heah all day…" she let him kiss her and felt his hand moving from her sleeve to her chest, and removed his hand from her bosom playfully. _

"_Now Race, dat's what got us in dis mess in da first place" she said, grinning. Race smirked. _

"_An what a beautiful mess it is" he said, kissing her deeply. _

_Cray opened the door of Tibby's, looking around into the dark restaurant. The street lights were finally beginning to be put out, and the sky was still dark. She had told Will to meet her there at five in the morning. Early as it was, for him anyways, she still needed that feeling of privacy with him. As soon as Lefty had left the doctor's office the previous day she had kissed him quickly and told him to go home. He had obeyed and agreed to meet her in the morning, not showing any sign of protest when she told him the time. Tibby's was open, they always seemed to be open, and there were a few men sitting at the bar having breakfast, even though it was dark outside. Cray scanned the room for Will, finding him yawning in a chair by the window, looking like he'd slept in his clothes. _

"_Heya" Cray murmured as she walked over. He smiled sleepily and kissed her, asking if she wanted coffee or something for breakfast. _

"_No, I just wanted to talk" she told him, slowly sitting down in a chair across from him. Will shrugged. _

"_About what…you're ok, right? I mean, you're not-" _

"_I'm not pregnant and I'm taking the medicine, Will. You were dere yestaday, rememba?" she watched him as he nodded, looking relieved, and she thought him foolish. His constant devotion and concern for her had always been something she cherished, but now she felt like playing with it, tossing the weight of their relationship around. She was tired of strolling around parks with him and listening to the sweet things he whispered in her ear. She wanted something more now; she wanted that dangerous element, that rough bit of a romance that made it worthwhile. She wanted to gamble with it, push it around and see if it would come out ok. Maybe she was being malicious or selfish, and maybe she wasn't, but she wanted to test Will. To see if had had what Spot didn't. That was what she really wanted. That was what Cray was looking for in a man, she had decided. Someone who did everything Spot did, and did everything he didn't. _

"_So-"_

"_We're gonna tell people today" she announced abruptly. Will looked at her in surprise. _

"_What? We? Ok…but-" _

"_I think it's time. I mean, it's not like I'm gonna march into da Lodging House and hand out flyers about it, but you can sell wit me an have lunch wid us an stuff…" Cray knew she sounded like some kind of controlling bitch, but she didn't care. Will seemed unfazed by her tone, and smiled, leaning across the table to kiss her frowning face. _

"_You know you look like a little girl when you frown like that" he said, grinning cheekily. Cray raised an eyebrow, sitting back in her chair. They sat there for hours. More people came in and out, until it was around eight and Cray realized she was late. Will had talked to her to much. He always seemed to have that affect on her, the ability to put her in a daze. She just liked to listen to his voice, his accent, not even hearing the words he said. Cray reached for her hat, ready to tell Will it was time to go, when the door opened and in walked Race, a grin on his face that looked like one an actor would wear onstage if he was staring in a play. After him came Lefty, looking just as happy but without that ridiculous grin. _

"_Good morning, good morning, good morning, good morning," Race was shouting greetings to everyone at the top of his voice, shaking hands with people he knew and didn't know, waving to the customers at the bar, winking at the few newsies who were sitting down. _

"_Good morning, good morning, good morning," Lefty laughed and put her arms around him, holding him back from walking all around, going to every table, saying, _

"_Good morning, good morning, good morning," _

"_Race, stop-" _

"_Cray!" Race beamed, springing towards her and pulling her up out of her seat. Cray laughed, her dark mood gone, realizing that Lefty must have told Race about the baby. Race practically floated across the floor with Cray while Lefty and Will looked on. _

"_Miss Higgins?" Lefty looked down at Will. _

"_Oh, heya Will, what-" _

"_Who's that, dancing with Cray?" Lefty laughed. _

"_Dat's Race, my-" but Race let go of Cray and picked Lefty up, wrapping his arms around her tightly and hugging her, as if he was scared that if he let her go, his happy dream would fade away. _

"_She's gonna have a baby!" Race declared, looking at Cray and Will with elation, "I'm gonna have--I mean we're gonna have--"_

"_A baby" Lefty finished, much more calmly than Race would have. Cray smiled and walked over to them, congratulating Lefty all over again. Will awkwardly stood by them, watching Lefty receive kisses from the small, thin Italian boy that was obviously her husband. Will was at least a foot taller than him. _

"_Congratulations" Will stammered, and Race turned around and shook hands with him, before quickly turning back to Lefty. _

"_Wait," Race said, slowly turning back around to look at Will, "who are you again?" _

"_Oh, Race, I forgot, dis is--" Lefty began. _

"_He's my--" _

"_I'm Will" Will said, cutting Cray off and shaking hands with Race once more. He was tired of being "the boyfriend of", and since Cray had officially given him permission to be honest about their relationship, Will decided that he was going to be forward, and possibly make his first real American friend in this little, ecstatically blissful Italian guy. _

"_Well Will, its nice ta meet ya" Race said, more genuinely than he usually acted with new people. Normally he would made some cynical comment about their accent or ask them how they were at cards. But today he had other things on his mind besides interrogating the shy English boy. _

"_So Lefty, ya wanna sit down?" Cray asked with a smile, noticing that Lefty's hands were still clinging to Race's vest. _

"_Oh yes, c'mon doll," Race said, his energy now more focused. He gently helped her slowly into a chair while Cray and Will sat back down. _

"_Race, I don't think I'm gonna fall apart just yet" she said, rolling her eyes at Cray. _

"_He's been like dat since yesterday" Lefty told Cray when Race had gone. _

"_He's excited, let him be. It's not everyday you find out dat ya gonna have a kid" Cray told her, sounding oddly wise. That was all Lefty wanted to do though: have a kid. Just a healthy, happy kid. She didn't care if it was a boy or a girl, she didn't care what they named it; she just wanted to live through it. She hadn't told Race that there was a very high chance that she or the baby might not live. The doctor had informed her that many young mothers die in childbirth or the babies die, and that her risks were raised because she was so young, and so small. But Lefty had told Race none of this; she'd kept it all in the back of her mind and let him fuss over and dote on her. _

"_So, when is the baby due?" Will asked._

"_July" Race answered, returning with two cups. He sat down and handed one to Lefty, who looked into it at the pale liquid. _

"_What's dis?" she asked innocently, careful not to sound condescending._

"_Milk" Race told her. _

"_Milk?" Lefty looked into the cup again, trying to remember if she'd ever had milk before. She would preferred an Irish coffee, to steady her nerves, or a cigarette, but the doctor had said not to have too much of either. _

"_Can't I have coffee?" she asked, pushing the milk away from her. Cray smiled, watching the beginnings of one of their fights. Race and Lefty rarely fought, and when they did it was over such small, silly things, like how Race always forgot his keys, and how Lefty didn't tell him when she decided to spend the night at the Girls' Lodging House. She wondered if Lefty being pregnant would up their argument percentage. _

"_So, that's who Lefty is married to?" Will asked quietly while Race told Lefty all about the benefits of milk-drinking. _

"_Dat? Yeah, dat's Race. You'll learn to love him" she said loosely, knowing it was impossible to give a true summary of Race's character without taking up the better part of a day. Will sighed and stared out the window, watching the people walking back and forth. _

"_Hey, don't you want to get going?" Cray heard Will ask in her ear. _

"_Weah?" she asked as she watched Lefty drink her milk. _

"_Out there--didn't you say you wanted to sell this morning?" Cray nodded vaguely, suddenly jealous of Race and Lefty who would get to spend the entire morning sitting in the warm restaurant talking about their baby while she was outside in the cold hawking headlines. _

"_Yeah, let's go" Cray said, getting her hat for the second time. They said goodbye to Race and Lefty and headed for the door, Cray walking backwards because Will was talking to her. _

"_Will we don't have to go-" Cray stopped suddenly as she felt someone bang into her, and she turned around sharply to see who it was and give them a piece of her mind. She looked up and blinked. Spot stared down at her. _

"_Hey" he said after a long pause. She drew in a deep breath._

"_Hey." _


	26. Chapter XXVI

"_Ringlets, stop giving me dese." Lefty pushed a bundle of old dresses into the Ringlets' arms._

"_Yeah, she's not fat--yet" Asia smirked as Taylor and Lefty rolled their eyes. _

"_Don't listen to her" Taylor said to both the pouting Ringlets and Lefty, "you just take advantage of dose curves you're getting" she continued to Lefty, smacking her hip lightly. _

"_You call dis a curve?" Lefty asked laughing, putting a hand over to middle. She was almost five months along now, and the baby was actually beginning to show. Taylor had said it was common for first time mothers not to show until later, but with Lefty it was absurd. She had always been like a rail, with no real shape save for her tiny waist. Both Taylor and the doctor were concerned about her hips being to narrow for birth, and her body to thin to carry a healthy child. So Lefty was advised to stay inside and eat as much as possible, a command she found incredibly difficult to obey. She had never had much of an appetite, even before she was pregnant, and now with her constant morning sickness and fevers Lefty found she could barely even stand the smell of food. She'd stopped wearing tight dresses and corsets almost immediately after she'd found out she was pregnant, but was still able to fit into her regular clothes with any problems. Ringelts and Taylor were always with her, offering to start making baby clothes and give her their old dresses for maternity wear. _

_When Lefty tired of listening to them chatter about her health, she would go home and wait for Race to come back from work, so he could kiss her and spoil her and tell her she was the most beautiful pregnant girl he'd ever seen. It helped her cope with her ever present fear. Pushing that to the back of her mind Lefty looked over at Cray, who was draped leisurely over a chair, watching them all. _

"_An what about you?" she asked, dropping the heap of clothes into a basket. Cray raised an eyebrow._

"_What about me?" she retorted, sitting up and looking at all four girls. _

"_Yeah, what about her? Why do we care about her?" Asia hoisted herself up onto a top bunk and looked down at Cray, sneering. _

"_Because all she's been doin for da past few weeks has been sitting around and sulking" Ringlets said, folding the clothes Lefty had dropped in the basket. Asia pouted. _

"_Aw, what is it Cray? Boy trouble?" Cray opened her mouth, but Taylor sailed over her words before they had reached Asia's ears. _

"_Alright, leave her alone. It's you who's been sulkin Asia" Cray tuned out, glad that Taylor had stepped in and prevented the conversation from continuing. She knew that all the girls had noticed her recent petulance, her moping and sulking. Half of the time she had wondered why they weren't concerned about her, but then when they were she was annoyed and pushed them away. She new she really had no right to be so depressed, after all it was really only Lefty who's mood swings could be justified. But Cray was mad at everything, at Will, at Lefty, at herself. Being angry at herself was the worst thing; the old familiar feeling was never healthy and she had been careful to avoid it since she left the Home of the White Rose. But since Lefty got pregnant she was never around for her, never there to listen to her problems or give her advice. Race and all the other girls were always fawning after Lefty, and Cray was expected, as the best friend, to do the same. But Cray had no interest in Lefty's problems, mainly because she couldn't imagine that she had any. Cray had too much boiling up inside of her that was waiting to get out, and most of her time was spend working on self control so she didn't burst out screaming in front of everyone. But then again, she was never one to scream and cry alone, either. _

"_Cray," Lefty sat down next to her. _

"_Yeah" Cray snapped, immediately wishing she could force the vicious tone out of her voice. _

"_Why don't you come ovah tonight?" Cray blinked. She hadn't been inside of Lefty's flat for almost three months. She had begun to forget what it looked like. _

"_Really?" Lefty nodded and smiled; Cray's voice held definite hints of elation. Cray must have detected this because she quickly contorted her face to look sceptical. _

"_What about Race?" she asked. Lefty grinned. _

"_I can get rid of him" _

"_Get rid of who?" Always on cue, Race entered the room, surveying them all with a lopsided grin. _

"_Get rid of you, I hope" Taylor shouted from the back, not having heard Lefty and Cray's conversation. _

"_Ah, Taylor's in a good mood today!" Race said to Ringlets, who giggled and hit him playfully with a shirt. Race smirked at Asia, who rolled her eyes._

"_Dunno how ya do it Lefty" she said with a sigh. _

"_Do what?" Lefty called, leaning her head against the bunk. _

"_Live wit dis kid" Asia responded, before disappearing into the washroom. _

"_She manages" Race called after her, before giving Lefty a peck on the cheek and flopping down on the floor. With Taylor it was a rarity for boys to even be allowed upstairs in the girls' bunkroom, but Race had gained what seemed to be eternal access ever since Lefty's first "night-spell". What Ringelts called night-spells was when Lefty woke up in the middle of the night, dizzy and delirious, burning with fever and calling out for people no one had heard of before. Cray could never understand why the baby inside of her was causing so much pain; children were supposed to be a blessing not a curse. That was another thing Cray wanted to talk to Lefty about, among many others. _

"_So who are we getting rid of?" Race asked, looking around at the girls brightly._

"_You" Lefty said quickly, accepting yet another basket of clothes from Ringelts._

"_Deah me, why would ya wanna do a ting like dat?" _

"_Because Cray's comin 'round for--coffee" Lefty responded, after receiving no indication of interest from Cray herself. She was just staring at her, uninterestedly. _

"_I like coffee" Race said cheerfully to no one in particular. _

"_Well you can have it at Tibby's den, cuz I don't wanna see so much as ya liddle blue hat at home tonight" Lefty stood up and pushed the basket of clothes into her husband's arms._

"_Yep, dat's it Lefty, dat's da stuff you say to keep your marriage happy," Asia said, coming out of the washroom with a new layer of make-up on her face, "what a great role model you are to all da rest of us less…settled goils." _

_Lefty gave Race a quick kiss on the nose and Taylor gave him a little shove towards the door. _

"_Don't you have someweah ta be, Higgins?" she asked. _

"_Like weah?"_

"_Like, oh I don't know, da tracks maybe?" although it was February and Sheepshead Races was closed, Race still went in to do odd jobs and paperwork. _

"_Nah, I left befoah lunch, and besides can't I stay in heah wid you guys? It's so cold out deah" Cray glanced out the window. The sky was rapidly darkening and a light snow was falling. _

"_An since I'm being deprived of my goil's company for da night, shouldn't I be allowed to spend as much time wid her as possible now?" Lefty rolled her eyes at Taylor, who looked at Race with exasperation. Ever since Lefty had gotten pregnant the two of them had been at war over whose job it was to take care of her. Lefty never interjected--she didn't really care who it was as long a she wasn't alone, but Race had been suffocating her with attention for the past week and she would have liked nothing better than for Taylor to make him take a good long walk in the snow. _

"_Race, why don't ya walk me and Asia ovah ta da Lodgin' House, we wanna see our boys" Ringlets asked, sensing danger and knowing exactly how to quell it. _

"_But take dose clothes home first!" Lefty called from the floor as Asia and Ringlets helped Race out of the room, blowing kisses as they went. Lefty yawned as she heard the door close. _

"_Well, lost three insteada one! Whadda ya tink about dat?" Taylor said loudly as she bustled around the bunkroom, picking up random shoes and ribbons that had been carelessly tossed aside. Cray looked at Lefty with a weary smile._

"_What time is it Taylah?" she asked. The tall girl poked around for a watch and found one on a bedside table._

"_Oh about quatah past five, why?" Taylor answered_

"_Well I'se jus thinkin' dat a pretty goil like you wid a boyfriend like Cowboy…an it's such a romantic night you know wid da snow an everything…" Cray's voice trailed off as she looked at Lefty, grinning faintly. Taylor stopped her bustling and looked at herself in the mirror, patting her loose bun. _

"_Oh Cray, you know I can't leave Left--"_

"_Come on Taylor ya think I'm gonna have da baby now? I'm fine; go out an have a good time fa me." _

_It took another half an hour of coaxing before Taylor made it across the street to see Jack. Cray and Lefty both sighed with relief as they watched her trudge to the Boys' Lodging House from the window. _

"_So am I really comin ovah your place for coffee?" Cray asked. Lefty shuddered._

"_Come to think of it I'd ratha jus stay heah dan walk outside in da snow," she said, wrapping her shawl more tightly around her shoulders and moving away from the window, "let's jus light a few more candles--do ya think dere's any food around heah?" Pretty soon both of them were back on the floor between they're old bunks, candles lit on every surface, and small feast off day old bread, apples, and left-over Christmas chocolate to share. After an hour or so of girlish gossip, swapping tales of pillow talk, corsets and rouge, as only best friends can, Cray stared at Lefty through the dwindling candlelight._

"_God Lefty, were have you gone?" Lefty stared back at her with an expression of utter disbelief. _

"_Gone? I haven't left this Lodging House it seems for a thousand years! I've been here, watching you sulk and keep secrets from me…Jesus Cray, you've been so--"_

"_So what, Lefty so what? Sad, unhappy? Maybe you've forgotten what that's like, I suppose ya would since da minute you ask for something it's dere before the last word leaves ya mouth" Cray regretted the words and felt tears come the moment she'd spoken them. As she had so many times before Lefty silently forgave her, and wrapped her arms around Cray. _

"_Tell me Cray, tell me please, I promise you'll feel better if you do, I promise. You weren't heah when I needed you Cray, you weren't! You weren't even dere for da party Jack gave Race an me aftah we told everybody about da baby…Will was, you weren't. And then fa da past three months we don't see you, an I wanted to Cray, I did, I didn't want Taylor taking my temperature every five seconds or Ringelts showin me how ta knit little socks an hats and things…I wanted you, I wanted you ta make me feel like I wasn't suddenly all grown up and full of responsibility, I wanted you ta go out on da town wid me, maybe Race too, and Spot, I even wanted ta see Spot can you believe it? No one's seen him around dis side a da bridge forevah, he only knows about da baby cuz Race ran into him at da tracks an…c'mon Cray, weah did you go?"_

_By now both of them were crying, holding on to each other tightly. Minutes past before Cray wiped a tear off her chin and spoke._

"_I nevah got ta tell anyone about Will…I meant to, I wanted to, but I nevah got to." _

"_Why Cray? What happened"_

"_I saw Spot, rememba dat morning aftah you found out about da baby, and you an Race came in ta Tibby's an we left right after we saw you? Spot was outside, jus den, and Will was right dere an I just couldn't…"_

"_Couldn't what Cray?" Lefty asked urgently. Cray let out a strangled cry._

"_I couldn't deal wid it, I couldn't deal wid Spot an Will at da same time, it was jus too much an I…ran." She stared ahead while Lefty listened, knowing she would hear more without asking._

"_I ran and I didn't know weah ta go, I'd been avoiding Spot fa so long, tellin his boys I was sick, but he's smahtah dan dat, an I think somehow he knew I was with someone else. At foist I didn't even think about him, about Spot. I was half-drunk an half sick wid happiness dat someone like Will would love me, doity liddle me, but he did. He loved me an I loved his love fa me. I'd nevah, evah had someone treat me like he did. Like I was worth something precious, like I wasn't some trashy whore."_

"_Oh Cray, you're not--" _

"

"_Well it's not like I've evah been told I'm anything more. An I was so angry at Spot, an--"_

"_Why Cray," Lefty interrupted again, "why were you angry at Spot? What happened? Dat's what we'd all like ta know. All a da sudden he's nevah around, an we all knew he was havin trouble at da barracks but dat nevah kept him away fa so long befoah" Cray sighed._

"_It was…" Julienne. It was Julienne, but Cray was too ashamed to admit that the filthy little blonde girl had infuriated her so much. All her life Cray had thought herself superior to Julienne, more elegant, more beautiful, even more intelligent. Hadn't she always been Ray's favourite? But ever since that night in long island, ever since her jealousy of Spot's closeness to her had boiled out of control, she'd been forced to face the truth, no matter how much she pushed it out of her mind. Julienne had something she never would have, and Cray felt belittled by the thought of her and humiliated by her memories of the insult and pain she'd forced Julienne to endure. _

"_It was jus dat I'd gotten tired of takin a back seat ta Brooklyn, I didn't want ta be his accessory any moah." Lefty seemed taken aback. _

"_Everyone always said you were da longest he'd evah been out a goil, wid one goil, at least. Jack swore you'd be da one ta change Spot into a respectable guy, you know, rid him of his sex and cigarette days." Cray snorted. As if Spot would ever be rid of his addiction to those two things. _

"_Spot will nevah change Lefty, lemme tell ya. Eitha you conform ta his lifestyle, or you can get da hell out." She said coldly._

"_And dat's what you did?" Lefty asked calmly, leaning her head against Cray's shoulder. _

"_Yeah, I guess dat's what I did." Cray answered, softening her tone a bit, "but I didn't botha ta tell him, he didn't need ta be told. I didn't think he'd miss me as long as he had Ju--Brooklyn and his udda whores fa company. Maybe I did cheat on him, but I'll be damned if he didn't cozy right back up to some udda goil as soon as I'd left town." Lefty shook her head._

"_I still don't know how ya did it Cray. Slippin off wid Will right unda Spot's nose…he musta wanted ta see you at some point, he wouldn't have just abandoned you" Lefty's tone made her doubt of Cray's story transparent, but she knew the whole truth was bound to come to her sooner or later, even if it wasn't from Cray. _

"_Yeah, it was fun at foist," Cray recalled with a small, fond smile, "I jut let meself forget about Spot for a while, an we had so much fun togedda Lefty, me an Will."_

"_He's a darling" Lefty said, nodding and lighting another candle._

"_Yeah, he is. But it jus became too hahd, I missed Brooklyn, not jus Spot but da city it self, an I was always scared dat I'd wander ovah dere one night an see Spot or one a his boys." _

"_An you still haven't talked ta Spot?" Lefty asked. Cray shook her red, curly head._

"_Nah, not him or Will. I've seen Will around, but its jus not like it was." It certainly wasn't like it was, that was for sure. Cray would see Will on the street, or in a restaurant, an he'd smile and try to make some sort of contact, but she'd just wave briskly and leave as soon as she could. The last time she had actually talked to him was when she'd seen Spot outside Tibby's and had run from the scene, leaving them both to stand and gape at each other. Much later on that night she physically bumped into Will on the street, and he had put his arms around her tightly, but not affectionately, not letting her go, and insisting that she tell him what was going on. He was angry and Cray hated herself for being the cause of his anguish, for being the reason his calm and sweet demeanour had been damaged. _

"_You knew I had a past, you knew that this had to be a secret" she had told him as he held her against a brick wall. _

"_And you never told me why!" Will had hissed desperately, "all this time we I had, what we had, could have ended if you saw the wrong person, or I said the wrong thing! Jesus Christ Cray, I guess I should be glad we kept what we had for as long as we did, if such a little thing could tear it apart" Cray hated the way he said what we "had". She felt that he still cared for her, she saw it burning in his angry eyes, but she knew he wouldn't have her back unless she told him everything, which was something she knew she would never do. _

"_I told Will I'd see him around, but not ta come lookin fa me anyweah." Cray said, coming back to reality and wiping a tear off her face that she hadn't realized was there. _

"_But den why was he had our pahty, da one Jack gave Race an I fa da baby. Will was dere, Cray, an you weren't." Cray sighed. She had hoped Lefty would have forgotten about that. Cray wondered if her absence had hurt Lefty so badly that she would never forget it. _

_The truth was that on that night, only about a week after her confrontation with Will and Spot on the street, she'd seen Julienne. Cray was stumbling out of a bar in Queens after an afternoon drink, when she'd seen her, smoking on the fire-escape of a factory across the street. All of her anger towards Julienne boiled in her blood and mixed itself with the seven glasses of gin that Cray had poured into herself. In her daze she saw Julienne to be reason for all of her miseries, her internal fight with Spot and her loosing Will, too. So she had tripped her way across the street and stood outside the building, squinting up to see Julienne lounging over the iron rail. _

"_Hey, Julienne!" Cray had called. The small girl exhaled a long stream of smoke and looked casually over the rail down to the street, raising an eyebrow when she saw Cray. _

"_Hey gingah, come ta bum a smoke?" Julienne called before dropping her lighted cigarette down to where Cray was standing. Cray had luckily stumbled in her drunken stupor and miss the cigarette falling into her hair by an inch. _

"_Fuck off Julienne, weah's Spot?" Cray yelled. Julienne looked bemused. The last time she'd seen Cray was when she was in Tibby's with Aly and Desiree, planning their escape to Chicago. She knew the two girls had left the city, and sadly Cray hadn't gone with them. She could almost smell the alcohol reeking off Cray from where she was sitting, and knew if she wanted too she could make Cray's head spin with all of the jealously that Julienne knew lay towards her beneath the surface of Cray's shallow emotions. _

"_Cray, why ain't ya in 'Hatty? I hoid dere's a pahty tonight, dat pretty liddle friend a yours is havin Racetrack Higgins' baby, ain't she? If ya gotta drink Cray, do it ovah dere, not ovah heah weah no one's gonna clean up afta yous if ya throw it up." Cray's head spun as she mounted ladder leading up to where Julienne was perched. _

"_Aw don't do dat Cray, I jus took a bath. I don't want you stinkin up all my clean clothes." Cray gave a silly laugh and climbed up two more fire escapes._

"_Julienne you've nevah taken a bath in your life. Ya so used ta livin in filth dat you wouldn't even know what bein clean feels like" Julienne snickered._

"_Dere's all different kinds a filth Cray, and da kind you're wallowin' in takes a lot more dan soap ta clean off" she searched her faded clothes for another cigarette as Cray climbed into her fire escape. _

"_Now yous got me really angry Cray, ya've made me waste me last smoke" Julienne crossed her arms and looked up at her old nemesis's face. It had taken her a while to get used to looking at Cray without five pounds of make-up on her face. Now she didn't even have any lipstick for her to smudge off her lips. _

"_Whadda ya want Cray, ya wanna see Spot? Haven't seen him in a while have ya?" Julienne purposely made it sound like she knew something about Spot that Cray didn't, even though she herself hadn't seen Spot for about two weeks. _

"_Julienne, I don't undastand why ya nevah woiked fa Ray, ya such a good liddle whore--" Before Cray knew it Julienne dirty fist had hit her hard on the cheek, and she was out cold lying face down on the metal gratings of the fire escape._

"_You're shit Cray, an dat's all you'll evah be" Julienne said softly, before climbing down the fire escapes to the street below. It was early evening when Cray came too, and she climbed groggily down from the building, fingers pressing softly against the shiner on her face. Walking back towards Manhattan she'd seen a familiar figure standing alone under a lamppost. Moving as fast as she could she went over to that figure, putting a hand on his shoulder and spinning him around._

"_Will, I need you to--"_

"_Cray?" Will had jumped in surprise at the sight of her, "what happened to your--"_

"_Will, go ta da Boys' Lodgin House in Manhattan, I'll meet you dere" she told him, knowing full well that she would never make it there that night._

"_But why--"_

"_It's Lefty's pahty, fa da baby, don't tink we should go an wish her well?" Cray knew it was wrong, making him think that there might be a chance they could rekindle their relationship, that she might tell him the truth about herself. But she felt too dizzy to go to any parties that night, and at least Lefty would get another congratulations from Will, and Cray had doubted she would notice that she herself wasn't there. So she'd sent Will off alone, spending the night sleeping off her hangover and her injury alone in a small tavern._

"_I…I wasn't feelin so good dat night, I really wasn't Lefty, so I sent Will in my place" Cray told Lefty after several minutes of silence. _

"_But, he said you'd be comin, he looked so happy, I thought you two were gonna be back together" Cray sighed. _

"_Well, we weren't. An I haven't really talked to Will since." Lefty shook her head and leaned in close to Cray. The two of them huddled closely together for hours, trying to keep warm, until Lefty finally fell asleep and Cray blew out all the candles, save one. _

_It was very late when the other girls finally came back to the Lodging House, all giggling quietly. Taylor found Cray and Lefty together in the far corner of the room, Cray just nodding off. She grabbed some extra thick blanket and two scarves, and bundled up Lefty tightly in them. She moved Cray to her bunk and put on her coat, before picking up Lefty carefully in her arms. Slowly she walked outside and down the three blocks to the Higgins apartment. She knocked twice on the door, and it was opened by a tired-eyed Race. _

"_Ya jus get home Race?" Taylor whispered, transferring Lefty from her arms to his._

"_Yeah, only a minute ago" he answered, looking down at Lefty's sleeping face. He wondered what she was dreaming about. _

"_I guess she an Cray nevah left da Lodgin House, dey were dere when I got back" Race nodded an tipped his hat to Taylor, who shut the door behind her as she left. Race sat down at the kitchen table, Lefty still asleep in his lap, and began pulling the layers off blankets and other winter clothes off of her, dropping them into the basket of maternity clothes that he had left by the stove. Lefty still had a pair of mittens on her little hands and the last scarf tied about her neck, when Race felt something very strange. He put his hand on her round middle, and his mouth fell open as he felt his baby kick out against his hand. _

"_Lefty! Lefty!" he whispered urgently, shaking her gently. Her eyes opened and she picked her head off his shoulder slightly. _

"_What? What's goin on?" her dark eyes focused on Race's smiling face._

"_Lefty, Lefty, oh dahlin', dere really is a baby in dere!" he said kissing her neck, and pulling one of the mittens off her hand and pressing it against her own abdomen. Lefty said nothing, only smiled and moved her hand in a little circular motions her middle. She fell asleep again moments later, and Race just sat there for hours, rocking his family back and forth. _


	27. Chapter XXVII

Alright guys, I'm trying to get as much as I can posted on here before school starts, because then I'm afraid homework will take over my life and I won't be able to write as much as I want to. Everyone hold hands and pray that that doesn't happen! I love you guys--Enjoy!

_Cray and Ringelts ran down Duane Street, trying to catch the flowers that were falling off of the trees. It was late April, and the pink buds that had begun to show in March had had their day, and were now being pulled off their branched by the cool, late afternoon wind. _

"_Ya tink it's gonna rain tonight, Ringlets?" Cray called as a few petals cascaded into her hair. Ringlets looked up at the grey sky. _

"_Maybe, though if it does Asia won't be happy" _

"_Why?" Cray asked, as she spun around childishly. _

"_Blinks taken her out. Somethin special, I think. Eight month anniversary or somethin, longest Asia's evah been wid one guy." Cray laughed._

"_We don't know dat Blink's da only guy, an if I know Asia at all I'd say she's finding what Blink can't give her someweah else." Ringelts tisked disapprovingly._

"_Shhh Cray, be nice, I think it's sweet" she said, putting her arm around Cray's shoulders. Cray sighed, knowing that Asia had changed, if only slightly, when she and Blink got together, and that it was mean to cast a shadow on their seemingly happy relationship. But Asia had stolen two of her garders, and Cray was definitely one to hold a grudge. _

"_So, what know Cray, ya wanna go visit da Higgins trio?" Ringelts suggested. Cray smiled. It would be nice to surprise Lefty, who had scarcely left her house all spring. Taylor had tightened the noose---she was at her flat all the time, giving advice, making preparations for the birth that only two months away. Cray plucked a few more flowers and nodded to Ringlets, and the two of them started off downtown. The hadn't gotten more than a half a block away when Mush appeared from behind a fruit cart. _

"_Happy Boithday sweetface" he said, kissing Ringlets on the cheek and making her giggle and blush. _

"_Boithday? Me boithday's not till September" she said as he pressed a little bouquet of daisies into her hands. _

"_Well I think we should celebrate early" Cray rolled her eyes as Ringelts blushed even more furiously, and gave a goodbye and a wink to Mush, before starting off again towards the Higgins's flat, alone. _

_By the time she got there it had cooled down considerably, and the sky was showing promises of rain, as Ringlets had predicted. Cray wished she had brought a coat as she knocked on the front door of their flat, and let herself in. as soon as she entered the kitchen she wished she hadn't come. There was Julienne, leaning against the sink, while Lefty and Race sat at the table. All three of them stopped talking and looked up when Cray came in. She turned around immediately and reached for the door handle. _

"_Cray, wait" Lefty called softly as she began to stand up. Race stood up and put a hand on her shoulder, and she sat back down. He walked over to the front door and held it shut so Cray couldn't leave. He looked down at her with his droopy brown eyes and Cray realized why Lefty loved him. _

"_Hey kid" he said. Cray sighed. _

"_What da hell--"_

"_Am I doin heah?" Julienne finished her sentence, looking at her with an eyebrow raised and a cigarette in one hand. Julienne had a bitter look on her face, and Cray knew suddenly that she had not anticipated Cray walking in on her. It pleased Cray immensely to spoil Julienne's plans, to strip her of her secrecy and mysteriousness. She tried so hard to make Julienne seem plain and harmless in her mind, and yet the truth was that she feared Julienne's presence in her life more than that of anyone else. _

"_Sit down Cray" Julienne said shortly. Cray moved as slowly as she could over to the table and sat down in a chair next to Lefty. The table was half-covered with all of the uneaten food that Taylor had been bringing over for Lefty, trying to coax her into gaining some weight. She was afraid that Lefty was too thin to safely bring a baby into the world. "Twitchy came ovah ta talk to us, Cray" Lefty said calmly. Cray found it strange to hear Lefty refer to Julienne by her newsie nickname, Twitchy, but realized that few people other than herself must know her by her real name. _

"_Why would ya do dat, Jewels?" Cray asked tartly, "how do you even know Lefty?" A sudden feeling of protection surged through Cray's veins. Lefty and Race were her friends, they had nothing to do with Spot or Julienne or any of that messy stuff. Cray didn't want Julienne to dirty their lives with her problems. Julienne gave a short, maniacal laugh. _

"_Whadda ya mean 'how you I know her?' Everybody knows Lefty" It did strike Julienne as being a very strange question, before she realized how Cray was thinking. She'd fooled herself into thinking that she belonged to the newsies, that she knew everything about them, so much more than anyone else form her past did. She had forgotten how Julienne spent her life before the end of the Home of the White Rose. She grew up on the streets, with the newsies; she was the one who knew everything about them, not Cray. She was a Bird, a Brooklyn Bird which meant it was her job to know everything about everybody and before anyone else did. She had grown up with Lefty, with Race, from afar, at least. She knew about Lefty when they were both nine, ten years old. She knew when Race proposed to Lefty, when they found out about the baby, before anyone else did. It was her job to know everything, and then report back to Spot, so that he could know everything. She was his eyes, his ears. _

"_Twitch came ta tawk to us, about--" Race began, but was interrupted. _

"_About Queens, we've been havin some trouble wid Queens, recently." Julienne said briskly. Cray snorted._

"_No kiddin" Dere was always trouble with Queens. _

"_She means Brooklyn, Cray, two a dere guys were found dead yestaday, a pair a dice in each a dere pockets." Race told her. _

"_How classic" Cray said, leaning back in her chair. Dice was the leader of Queens, and it was a conflict with his guys that had led to her becoming a newsie. _

"_So what's da deal, why's he snuffin out guys in Brooklyn?" Cray asked, knowing Julienne would look at her as if she was stupid. She always looked at her like that, but this time she didn't. Her bitter frown was frozen on her mouth. _

"_Dat's a liddle foggy…" she said, careful not to give out any classified information, "all we know is dat he an Spot have been havin… problems, an Dice'll go afta any excise to get Manhattan involved. He likes yankin Jack Kelly's chain." _

"_Dis is leada stuff Cray, shouldn't Spot and Jack we woikin dis out?" Cray said, wishing Julienne would just leave. She wanted to give Lefty her flowers. _

"_Dey are, right now, in fact" Julienne said, shoving her hands into her pockets. _

"_Den why are you heah? Don't ya think Race an Lefty have more things ta worry about den dis?" Cray lit a cigarette. Julienne sighed and she seemed to appear slightly softer than her usual cold self. She had obviously chosen to talk to Lefty and Race with more respect and friendliness as she usually did._

"_We think, Spot thinks, sat Dice might try to bring Lefty into this, he might…use her as leverage, especially now." Julienne added, with a small glance as the half-knitted baby clothes on one of the chairs. Cray looked at Lefty, who had been silent all this time. She remembered hearing Asia and Taylor talking, a long time ago it seemed, when she had first arrived, about Dice's fondness, even obsession, with Lefty. _

"_It's hahd not ta be, she is fuckin gorgeous" Cray remembered Asia whispering. _

"_She'll probably be fine," Julienne said, as kindly as she could, "da Boids are everyweah, an Jack'll be tellin everybody else ta watch out if dey see anyone from Queens. Dis is just a suspicion, it could be completely wrong." Lefty an Race nodded. To Cray they both suddenly seemed very young, their eyes wide like children being taught a very difficult lesson. They seemed small and innocent, untouchable and delicate. Although those characteristics were somewhat foreign to Cray she hoped they would never change. _

"_I was sent to tell you to be a liddle extra careful, dat's all" Julienne said, putting on her hat and putting out her cigarette. _

"_Oh, and I also came ta give Lefty a message, but I guess since ya heah now Cray deah's no point. Spot wants ta see you. Tonight. Da barracks." With that she walked out of the kitchen and over to the front door, opening it as rain started to pour down. As it slammed behind her Cray tired to mentally erase Julienne's visit completely, and start the visit again, as if she had not been there at all. _

"_It's going to get cold, let's have some coffee" she said, feeling slightly motherly towards Lefty and Race. Lightning flashed and Race got up to close the windows and get a shawl for Lefty. when he put it on her it hung limply on her shoulders, making her look even smaller and sicker than she really was. As she set the coffee on the table, Cray reached into her pockets._

"_I almost forgot about dese" she said, pulling out the pink flower. The lonely petals scattered themselves across the table, and Lefty reached out and took one of the buds, placing it in her hair. Race smiled and kissed her cheek. _

"_I'm gonna go see Jack, doll, a'right?" Race told her, reaching for his hat, "I'll be back soon, it's jus dat his meetings probably out an Twitch did say I should talk to him" Lefty nodded tried to smile._

"_Cray'll take caeh a you" he said, giving Cray a genuine smile before shutting the door. Cray sat down and looked at her best friend. She had been so tired for so long, it seemed, so sick. Her face was always colourless, her skin cold. Cray thought it so unfair that the baby inside of her should cause her so much pain; it deprived her of so much. Lefty was missing one of the most beautiful springs Cray had ever seen, and she prayed that after the baby came she would go outside into the summer air and get her health back completely. Cray couldn't bear to listen to Taylor when she listed the complications Lefty might have delivering her child, but it was all that was ever on Taylor's mind. _

"_So ya gonna go see Spot" Lefty said, her voice thin and worn. Cray shrugged, suddenly angry and frightened at the same time._

"_Yeah, but I don't tink I'll be stayin very long," she said nonchalantly, a thousand apprehensions and questions seeping into her brain. She fought very hard against them. Lefty sighed and sipped her coffee._

"_I wish I could go, I miss Spot." To Cray it seemed very difficult to believe that anyone other than herself might miss Spot's being around Manhattan, but Spot and Lefty had been friends long before Cray and Spot had ever met, and Cray realized how selfish it was to think that she was the only one who truly needed Spot around. _

"_Maybe I can tawk ta him about comin around more often" Cray suggested half-heartedly. Lefty nodded and sipped her coffee again. It was an odd and rare moment when Cray and Lefty had nothing to say to each other, no conversation to make. Cray knew better than to talk about Julienne or Dice, and Lefty was probably tired of talking about the baby. Although she felt she should, Cray couldn't bring herself to ask for advice about Spot, because then she would have to reveal that she was scared, something she had never done before. So the two sat there as the rain beat against the windows and thunder crashed in the sky, until Race came home, soaked through and without a grin or smirk for Cray or his wife. Cray made them both dinner (which neither of them ate much of), and said her goodbyes at nine o'clock. Somehow it felt very cruel to leave them alone in their little house, suffocating under a world of worries and danger. Cray's last sight of them that night was through the front window after she had closed the door and walked out into the street: Lefty crying for what seemed the millionth time that week, Race rocking her back and forth, smoothing her long hair again and again. Cray bit her lip and settled her hat down more on her head. The rain had stopped but the wind was cool, and she headed towards the Brooklyn Bridge._

_Brooklyn was a strange place to return to after a six month absence. It hadn't really changed at all; all of the broken windows had not been repaired, the air still smelled of smoke, whisky and salt water. But to Cray, who with every step felt a foreboding shiver run through her body, it seemed like a dead and dangerous place. The streets were mostly empty, yet noise came from inside every building. This town had almost become anonymous in her mind; it held no real meaning or description at all. Growing up she knew nothing about it, and her first trip to it was with Lefty and everyone else, the night of Jimmie Wilson's poker party. It had seemed like the liveliest and warmest town in the city that night, when everything in Cray's life seemed perfect. After she and Spot were together there was never a day when she wasn't in Brooklyn, and she didn't even look at the streets as she sailed through them as fast as she could, always so needy for Spot to be with her. But her wild days as Spot's girl were gone now, she supposed. She'd been selfish and foolish enough to let them escape her. _

_The barracks had obviously been a busy place as of late; there were guys coming and going from every side of it, hanging off the fire escapes, even up on the roof. Light and noisy was pouring out from the inside, and Cray took to the front steps as slowly and as softly as she possibly could. It seemed to be her curse though, it had always been, that she could not help but attract attention. Within two seconds of mounting the steps she surrounded by five or so of Spot's leading guys. _

"_Ain't seen you around dese pahts for a while" a familiar voice growled in her ear. _

"_Weah do ya tink ya going?" another asked. Six months ago she would have been able to slip in without so much of a glance; how quickly things changed. _

"_I got a invitation" Cray snapped, smiling saucily. One of the guys chuckled._

"_Oh yeah? Let's see it den" he said, reaching for her skirt. _

"_Sorry" Cray said wistfully, slapping his hand out of the way, "it came by way of a message, directly from Spot" _

"_Who gave you dis message gingah?" someone behind her asked. _

"_A liddle boidy" she whispered, "by da name of Twitchy" one of the larger guys who had been holding her arm let go of it. They parted to let her pass. _

"_Go up da staihs an---"_

"_I know weah ta find him" Cray interrupted, walking into the building. Security was certainly tight these days; Cray went through three more interviews and endured dozens of hostile comments before she made it to the door of Spot's room, all the while looking around for Julienne. She was not to be seen. Taking off her cap and unbuttoning her blouse a little bit, Cray knocked on the door. For several minutes there was no answer._

"_What is it?" she heard Spot's voice ask. _

"_It me…Cray" she added, realizing that he might not let her into his room as easily as he had done before. More minutes past before the door opened. Spot's eyes were bloodshot, from fatigue, Cray assumed, and a cigarette was hanging from the corner of his mouth. _

"_Come in" he held the door open a little wider so she could enter. His room was filthy, covered with empty beer bottles and papers, many papers. A map of the city was pinned to his wall, covered in ink. _

"_Siddown Cray" Spot said with a long sigh. Her automatic movements were towards the bed, where she had spent most of her time when in Spot's room, but decided to tread on safer ground, and sat on top of a broken trunk. _

"_Cigarette?" Spot offered as he sat down in a chair opposite her. Cray shook her head and Spot sighed again. _

"_Hahd times Cray, hahd times" he said, turning his back her and looking out of the window, "not safe ta walk around town anymoah, at least, not heah. Hatty's always da last ta be touched by all dis…mess, but it probably won't be long befoah Jackie-boy's got way more on his hands dan he can handle. Jus saw him today, actually…not lookin so good Cray, not lookin so good" Not being able to respond to his someone prepared speech, Cray brought her knees up her to chin and hugged them, staring at the back of Spot's head as he continued. _

"_Ya know, just yestaday two a my guys were found curled up in an allyway…at foist we jus thought dey were jus fuckin sleepin" he laughed, "but nah, dey're throats were slit" Cray bit her lip and shut her eyes. _

"_But dat kid, Will, he wasn't sleepin when we found him" Cray head shot up from where it was resting on her knees. She couldn't bring herself to open her mouth, and she knew Spot was sitting there, knowing her agony. _

"_Yeah, Twitch found him, actually, face down in his own blood on da side a da street, early dis mornin" Cray's mouth was far too dry, and the room was far too hot. _

"_Poor kid, another casualty to da city, I guess though" he flicked his cigarette out of the slightly open window. "Twitch did a liddle, ah, investigating, shall we say, afta we found him. Toins out he was a nobody, jus some immigrant from England, no family, no one ta miss him." Cray did everything she could thing of to prevent herself from crying. She bit her lip, hard, dug her nails into arms, and finally buried her face in the folds of her skirt, not breathing. _

"_Sad huh, he wasn't even a newsie…someone from Queens musta gotten confused." Spot said, before he turned around to face her. _

"_Aw Cray, what's dis?" Spot asked in a mocking tone, bending down to her level and lifting her face up by her chin. She blinked and let the tears fall. _

"_Cray, ya such a funny kid, getting yaself all woiked up ovah somethin dat had nuttin ta do wid ya," he wiped her tears away roughly with the sleeve of his shirt. _

"_Dis kinda stuff is what I have ta worry about, not you," Cray gave a small whimper, "but it is sweet of ya ta worry about it fa me, tanks a lot Cray" Spot stood up and crossed his arms, while the bitter irony of the situation slashed through Cray. So Spot did know about Will. After he had seen them in the street that day he must have send someone, probably Julienne, to find out who he was, track him even. Although she knew Spot's explanation of his knowledge of Will was a lie, she believed him about Will being murdered by someone from Queens. Spot wasn't the type of guy to have someone killed, especially if it was just to get revenge. Spot has so much worse ways of getting even, and Cray found it almost classic of him to get even with her like this. This disinterested torture that he issued on her; pretending to be so obsolete about Will made Cray know for certain that he knew exactly who he was, exactly what he was doing. The fact that Will had been killed was a lucky coincidence, an excuse for Spot to confront her without even having to accuse her straight out. _

_After a long period of silence Cray managed to wipe her tears and find her voice. _

"_Why'd ya wanna see me, huh Spot?" she asked in a high-pitched voice. Spot shrugged and smiled. _

"_Cuz, well Cray, I've been lonely, all shut up heah tryin ta figure everythin out, about Queens an all, and I jus knew you'd be sympathetic to my problems." He walked over to the door and opened it. Cray stood up and wiped her eyes again with her clammy hands. _

"_See ya 'round Cray" he said wistfully, before slamming the door shut behind her. _

_Cray wandered through the streets, passing bar after bar, theatre after theatre. She wished she could walk into one of them, sit down and get drunk, but her sorrow was her drink, and she was drowning in it. She walked all over Brooklyn, from the Red Light district to the cobblestone streets of the wealthy. She walked so slowly it took her hours before she was back on the empty bridge, creeping along through the dark, pausing frequently to look over the edge into the depths bellows. _

_A faint pink light coloured the sky by the time she was back in Manhattan. Bakers were putting out their first loaves, yawning as they did so. Cray had forgotten tiredness, had forgotten hunger, or even pain. All she knew was the overwhelming sadness that enveloped her, binding her tightly, separating her from everything else. When she felt she could walk no longer she collapsed on the front steps of the bank, curling up and letting one last tear fall, before she slipped away into sleep. _


	28. Chapter XXVIII

_Asia was never one to hang around one place too long. She was one of those people who were just born to move, born to dance, born to laugh and have a good time. It was in hr nature to want change of scenes frequently, not to want to stay in one place too long, so that's why when Blink asked her if she wanted to leave Carrie Bradley's birthday party on the East Side, she said yes instantly. Blink knew her far too well, she thought. They had been together for so long now it seemed. At first she didn't like having him always with her; she didn't like to label him as her 'boyfriend'. She had lived with change so much that to see the same face two nights in a row had been a little bit too much to handle, although she was surprised at how quickly she got used to it. The party had started in the late afternoon, and because summer was on it's way, the sky was still lit up by the sun as they left the building and headed towards Manhattan. They were about half way there when Blink ran into Dutchy and Specs, and they found themselves inside of a smoky bar, playing cards. They had been there a half an hour before Asia started to get bored, and was just about to nibble Blink's ear and complain when the door to the bar opened and in ran Snipeshooter._

"_Asia!" he yelled, trying to get away from a teasing Specs. _

"_What is it kid, weah's Boots?" Dutchy asked; the two were rarely separated. _

"_Asia, ya gotta--" _

"_Why don't ya siddown Snipes, we'll getcha somethin ta drink" Blink said, laughing with everyone else and clapping Snipes on the back. Although he looked completely out of breath, Snipes shoot his head. _

"_Asia, please, ya gotta--"_

"_What'll it be, gin, whiskey--" _

"_Miz Lefty's gonna have her baby!" Snipes shouted. Specs and Dutchy stopped laughing and Blink covered his smiling mouth with his hand. _

"_Ha! Manhattan's youngest newsie! Drink's all around!" Cheers echoed from the table, but Snipes didn't look relieved._

"_Asia, Taylah wants ta right now!" Snipes said tensely. Asia poured another shot down her throat and kisses the still laughing Blink and the cheek. _

"_Well s'cuse me boys, but it sounds like I'se got a baby ta delivah!" the guys at the table laughed at the idea of Asia and a baby, as the red-dressed girl sashayed her way towards the door._

"_Blink, don'tchya wanna come?" she called. Blink nodded but didn't leave his seat. _

"_Yeah, I'll be along. I wouldn't miss da look on Race's face fa da woild." _

_Lefty opened her eyes and felt freezing cold and burning hot at the same time. She looked around and thought for a moment that she had died and gone to heaven; everything around her was white. She sheets in the bed she was in were white, she was wearing a thin white nightdress, and everywhere she looked figures were running back and forth with huge baskets of white cloth. She tried to focus on one of them, everything was so fuzzy…_

"_Ringlets!' Lefty called. The curly-haired girl stopped moving and so did everyone else. _

"_She's come to!" Ringlets cried, and suddenly Lefty had the faces of Taylor, Ringlets, Cray, and David's mother Mrs. Jacob's two inches away from her own. _

"_What happened?" Lefty asked them, trying to sit up straight. _

"_You passed out sweetie" Taylor said, "at da Lodgin House, remember?" Lefty didn't remember. She shrugged. _

"_Uh-huh. Well I feel betta now, so, can I go home?" she smiled, hoping they would not and wonder why they had made such a fuss. _

"_Ya feel betta?" Taylor asked with a sarcastic smile. Lefty nodded and tried again to sit up. _

"_Yeah, I feel---" suddenly a horrible sharp pain seared through her, and she immediately put a hand on her stomach. _

"_Oh my God, what da hell's goin on? Da baby's not supposed ta come for anudda month!" she cried, as though someone had treated her incredibly unjustly. _

"_Well it's comin now!" David's mother said, before everyone started bustling around again. Lefty winced as the pain subsided. She felt very warm, and realized her hair was slightly damp. Every fiber of her being was screaming at her to stop this, to get everyone out of the room, to go home. It was May. The doctor said her baby wouldn't come until the end of June. Doubt and anxiety filled as Lefty frantically wished she could keep the baby inside of her for another month, so it would grow stronger and larger. It was almost comical; yesterday she would have given anything to just give birth and have it all over. _

_Ringlets came to her side as another pain began, placing a basin of clear, cold water on the table beside the bed and soaking a cloth in it._

"_Shhhhh, it'll be gone soon" she cooed, dabbing the cloth on Lefty's forehead. It felt cold and wonderful. Lefty sighed._

"_So how long is dis gonna take?" she asked breathlessly. Taylor laughed._

"_Kid, it's gonna get a lot woise befoah it get bettah" the door opened again and Asia appeared, slightly out of breath, her hair a mess. _

"_Ah, so da rumours are true" she said, smiling at Lefty, who shook her head. _

"_Nice of you to show up Asia" Taylor said as Mrs. Jacobs immediately pushed a bundle of towels into her arms. _

"_Ya know, I travelled a good fifteen minutes on foot ta get heah! Can't I sit down?" she asked sarcastically, giving Lefty a 'you look comfortable' look. _

"_So, is Snipes back yet?" Cray asked. _

"_He's coming, Blink's coming too" Asia answered. _

"_Good" Taylor said, "Jack's in Brooklyn but he'll be here as soon as Boots gets him da news…an Ringelts, Mush is across da street, right?" Ringlets nodded. _

"_I told him it's a bit soon ta come ovah, but he'll be heah, don't worry" _

"_A'right, dat sounds like everything's going along pretty well so far" Taylor said, sounding satisfied at her organization. Suddenly Lefty reached out for Cray's hand._

"_Wait---weah's Race?" _

_Racetrack scrawled out his signature on the last bit of his paperwork. He gathered up all of his files and tucked them safely under him arm, before reaching for his cap and shutting the window. he pulled his watch out of his vest pocket and flicked it open. Quarter to seven. He'd have just enough time to pick up a loaf of Italian bread for dinner. He walked out into the hall and placed his paperwork on the drop-off table outside of the office. Humming, he walked outside into the early-evening sun, walking around the racetrack, watching the end of what looked like a good race. That was the one downside to working inside at the tracks: not being able to go outside and watch the races. He paused for a moment and watched the horses run, before hearing someone running up to him. _

"_Cray? Heya kid, whatta ya doin heah?" he asked. A grin played upon her flushed face. _

"_Race, ya gotta come home, Lefty's havin da baby" she said, not quite being able to contain her excitement about being the one who got to tell him. But Race just shook his head and smirked._

"_Aw c'mon Cray, did Blink put ya up ta dis? Da baby ain't comin for anudda month" he said, squinting out on the tracks. Cray stopped laughing and looked at him as seriously and gravely as she could._

"_No Race, ya gotta come home, ya baby's comin an Lefty ain't gonna be happy if ya miss it" Race looked at her again and nearly dropped his at._

"_Jesus Christ" he said, before jamming it on his head and sprinting towards the gates. _

_By the time Race and Cray reached the Girls' Lodging House, there was small crowed outside. Obviously word had gotten out that everyone's' favourite little darling was going to bring another little darling into the world, and nobody wanted to be absent. _

"_Move, move!" Race shouted as guys much bigger and taller than him blocked the entrance to the Lodging House. _

"_Get da hell outta da way" Cray yelled with him. _

"_Weah is she…da bunkroom?" Race asked loudly as they went up the front steps. _

"_No, da spare room on da foist floor wid da big bed" she said as they pushed past newsie after newsgirl to get inside. Cray shut the door behind them as Race walked in. Jack, David, Kid Blink, and Mush were all sitting outside of a door. _

"_Dere you are Race" Mush said, looking up. _

"_What'd ya wanna do, make an entrance?" Blink asked. Race brushed them aside as Jack stood up and spit-shook with him. _

"_How ya feelin?" he asked, clamping a hand down on his shoulder. Race looked thoroughly shaken up and slightly peaky, but he smirked and nodded, before heading towards the door. _

"_Whoa, whoa, whoa, weah ya think ya goin?" Cray asked, taking Race by the shoulders and pulling him backwards. _

"_I'm gonna see my wife, dat's weak I'm goin" he said matter-of-factly, wiggling out of Cray's grasp. _

"_No ya ain't, Taylah gave strict ordered not to let anyone in, especially you Racetrack" Cray said with a snicker, before giving him an affection peck on the nose. _

"_So what am I supposed ta do---wait?" Race asked, putting a disgusted emphasis on the last word. _

"_Looks like it" Mush said, moving over to make room for Race on the bench. _

"_See ya lata" Cray said, before opening the door slightly and slipping inside, c losing it quickly behind her. Race plopped down on the bench defeatedly. _

"_C'mon Race, cheer up, we've been picking names!" David said. _

_Taylor held Lefty's hand as she screamed again. She'd been in labour for hours and hours, hovering between consciousness and unconsciousness, as the other girls took turns cooling her forehead and easing her pain. Taylor, being the leader of the Manhattan newsgirls, had spent her life dealing with her girls problems. She had them yell, shriek, and cry at her, and she had done the same thing right back at them. She had helped them through illness, heartbreak, and everything in between, stepping over the line from leader to mother on so many occasions. But seeing Lefty, her little girl, her sweetheart, struggling against all of the odds in the world to bring life into it was the hardest thing she had ever done. _

_Taylor had only been nine years old when she found Lefty, huddled under a park bench in the middle of a snowy winter. Her lips were blue, her skin was white and her feet were bare as Taylor pulled her out from under the bench, pulling off her shawl and wrapping it around the little girl's shoulders. She was dressed like a boy with only a thin, patched coat for protection against the icy winds, and she whimpered as Taylor picked her up and carried her to the Lodging House. The leader of the Manhattan newsgirls at the time was a sweet, even tempered girl named Fiona, who Ringlets took after in nature and who had colouring similar to Cray's. With one look at Lefty she took her in, wrapping her in blankets and placing her next to a warm fire, refusing to let her outside for two weeks, until her strength was back completely. _

_It came out later that Lefty had been the youngest member of a gang of thieves in the Bronx, of which Bullet's brother, Slick, was the leader. He had taken her in when she was five, after watching her steal a watch, three handkerchiefs, one bag of muffins and two wallets without so much as blinking an eye. He offered her a place in his gang, as a pickpocket and eavesdropper, a position she accepted gladly and excelled at. Slick dotted on her and spoiled her, as did the other members of his gang, who were all boys and much older than she. For one and a half years she worked silently in the streets, stealing and gathering information for Slick's jobs. She was so small for her age, so quick with her little hands that she became fairly well known in the Bronx, especially by Bullet, head of the Bronx newsies. He borrowed her from time to time, using her for sympathy with his boys so they'd sell more papes. Bullet had also given her the nickname, Lefty, which caught quickly, her real name, Emma, or Emmy, was soon forgotten. _

_One night Lefty came back to Slick's lair, pocket's full of other people's belongings, expecting to find a warm room full of the guys, her older brothers, her only friends. Instead she found them all standing in a circle, looking down at the floor. She tried to push them aside so she could see what it was they were staring at, but she couldn't make them budge; she was never very strong anyways. So she dropped down on her knees and crawled around their legs until she got to the center of the circle, where Slick was lying, face down in his own blood. For a moment she was frozen, and then she sprang to life, tears stinging her eyes as she ran out the door into the cold air. She ran until she came to the Bronx Newsies Lodging House, where the lights were on and yells could be heard a mile away. She banged on the door but it was locked, and so she climbed the fire-escape to peer in the windows, only to see every Bronx newsie inside, beating the living shit out of each other. Lefty searched the scene for Bullet, finding him running around, trying to break it up. Again she pounded on the glass, yelling his name, wanting his help and to tell him of his brother's death. But she only looked at her with sad eyes, and knew he had already found out. He motioned for her to leave, to run, and so she did. She ran and ran until she cold stole all of her energy, and so, afraid of being found by someone she knew or the bulls, she sold her shoes for a piece of bread and some matches, huddled underneath a bench and lit her little hat on fire for warm. But the wind blew it out and she shivered, tears frozen on her face as she drifted off to sleep. _

_Lefty had by no means been the perfect kid, Taylor would have admitted that to anyone. She could be easily enraged and she always fought back; she and Asia had been fine enemies in their first few years of adolescence, but underneath that she was just a little girl, Taylor's little girl. One look into her large blue eyes was all Taylor needed to know that Lefty was hers, that she loved her, that all she wanted from the world was to love and to be loved. Taylor almost couldn't bear to watch her suffer so, and cursed Race silently for doing this to her. _

_She was so small, so thin. As much as she had tried, Taylor had not been able to encourage Lefty's appetite, and she had gained almost no weight at all. Her hips were narrow, and she had lost far too much blood already. Taylor glanced at Mrs. Jacobs and Ringlets, who both looked at her with worried eyes. _

"_She may not…one of them may not--" David's mother began, but Ringlets cut her off with a stern "Shhh!" as tears crept into her eyes. _

_Another hour passed before Lefty's contractions were not even seconds apart, and Mrs. Jacobs rolled up her sleeves._

"_Alright girls, here we go!" _

_Cray had never seen a baby so close in her entire life. No one ever brought a baby into La Maison du a Blanc a Monte, and if a girl got pregnant she left as soon as she could, her career over. The only thing Cray knew of babies when she was working there was when she heard their cries from the street below her window. When she became a newsie she saw them more often, settled into their prams, or in the arms of the mothers she sold papes to. So after Mrs. Jacob's had cleaned off the baby and wrapped it up in a thick white blanket, Cray leaned over Ringlets' shoulder to get a good look at it. She had no idea a human creature could be so small, so delicate. The baby's eyes were closed, it had stopped crying. Somewhere off in the distance she could hear Race banging at the door, but neither Taylor nor the other girls did anything about it. They all just peered silently at the baby they had spent the last nine hours delivering. Its tiny hand was curled around the blanket, and a small tuft of smooth, dark brown hair had settled onto its forehead. _

"_Cray, you an let Race in now" Taylor said. With a smile on her face, Cray made her way over to the door and opened it. _

_Lefty opened her eyes. Her body felt weak, empty. She let a long sigh slip out of her and shut her eyes again, knowing that everything was over. The pain that she was sure would kill her had vanished entirely, leaving her feeling so still and worn she feared she would never be able to move again. Her breathes were shallow, few and far between. Her vision was blurry for a few minutes and then began to clear. She tried to look around, to make sound, but her mouth was dry. She tried again and let out a small moan, her throat hurting. Her eyesight improved, and she say that she was still in that same room, but now not only surrounded by the girls, but also so many newsies that she wondered if the room would burst. Lefty made another noise and they spun around, looking at her with happy faces. _

"_Hey darling" Taylor said from her side, putting a hand on her cheek. Lefty tried her hardest to muster up the strength to speak._

"_What...where's..." Taylor smiled as her voice trailed off, and turned to foot of the bed. Lefty's eyes widened as she saw Race, wearing his trademark smirk, and holding something very, very small in his arms. _

"_Bonjourno mia princespessa" he said softly, moving towards her. Trying to move, to sit up more, but finding she didn't have the strength for it, Lefty tilted her neck to see what it was Race was holding, as he came up close to her and put the bundle into her arms. It was a baby, her baby, Lefty realized. _

"_It's a boy" Race murmured. She let out a gasp as the baby opened his eyes. They were huge, like hers, but a deep, chocolate brown like Race's. His tiny chest moved up and down as he looked up at her. Lefty bit her lip and touched her son's little nose. _

"_A boy" she sighed. Jack Kelly started clapping as Mush laughed, and Lefty looked up to find the whole room cheering. Taylor, Ringlets, Asia, Mrs. Jacob's and David were all crying, Blink was shouting for champagne. Cray was gazing at her with a look of pure wonder and admiration, and Lefty heard a loud cheer and louder clapping as Spot Conlon and two of his guys entered the room, followed by three guys from the Bronx Lefty had known since she was five. On top of all of this she heard Race's voice, his wonderful voice, whisper in her ear._

"_So, whatta we gonna name him?" _


	29. Chapter XXIX

_"Look at dat, look at dat, whatta ya tink a dat kid, huh?" Spot Conlon asked Anthony Higgins in a teasing voice. He held the hand-made toy a few inches away from the three month year-olds little fingers, making faces and crossing his eyes. It was a warm Wednesday morning, and Spot had dropped by the Higgins's flat, where he was now a regular visitor. Since Anthony (who was named after his father within ten minutes of his birth) had been born, the Higgins's small apartment had hosted several parties, poker matches, and leader meeting, all because everyone wanted to get a glimpse of Manhattan's newest, smallest, and dearest addition. His parents watched with glowing eyes as newsies after newsie, his 'uncles', as they called themselves, lifted him up and twirled him around, making him laugh or rocking him to sleep. There was never a moment when he wasn't dotted on, wasn't talked to or taken care of. Spot was one of his favourites; he never ceased to make him giggle. _

"_Don't tease him, Spot" Lefty said in a falsely stern voice, coming into the kitchen where Anthony was sitting up-right on the table, brown eyes wide. _

"_Aw, I ain't teasin him Lefty, dis is an important paht a da growth process" Spot insisted, pulling the toy out of his nephew's reach a second before he would have caught it, "it's exercise, watch" he tickled the little boy's round stomach. _

"_Well he'll have more exercise when he goes to da park, won't you darling?" Lefty cooed, picking her son up and balancing him on her hip. _

"_Central Pahk? Why not Brooklyn? We've got lots a pahks." Spot argued. _

"_Well maybe tomorrow, but I think we're gonna stay on dis side a da bridge fa da day" she kissed Anthony on the nose. When she had first married Race, she thought she could never be happier. She had him all to herself morning and night; they went out whenever they wanted and didn't have to answer to anyone. Now she wondered how she ever could have been satisfied without holding her little dark-haired boy in her arms. Being a mother was nothing like she had thought it would be. Taylor had always spoken of responsibly, of late nights and long days. But Anthony was a wonderful baby. He cried, that was for sure, but never to the point where she or Race got annoyed or tired of him. He laughed so easily, was curious about everything, from his father's pocketwatch to the leaves on the trees. During the day, when Race was at work at the tracks, Lefty would try to get out of the house with him alone, go for a walk to the park or the market, without being caught by the girls to other visitors. On the weekends everyone came over, of she and Race went to the Lodging House with Anthony; he was welcome everywhere. If she and Race wanted to go out alone, maybe dinner or dancing, there were scores of people who were willing to watch him, usually Ringelts though. She could scarcely survive the day if she didn't see Anthony. _

"_So whatta ya doin today Spot? Ya 'round heah so much it makes me wonda if ya ran outta problems in Brooklyn, which I know for a fact has nevah happened befoah" Spot shrugged. True, thinks had slowed down a lot recently. Queen's had edged off a bit, Dice had gotten into a fight with some guys from Harlem, and so their attention was off Brooklyn and Manhattan for a while. The Birds were always busy, spying and getting information, but so far nothing that extraordinary had occurred, and Spot spent his days lounging around with his friends. _

"_Ya gonna see Cray today?" Lefty asked as Anthony gave a little whimper. Again, Spot shrugged._

"_Maybe tonight" he said casually. He and Cray had been on-again, off-again recently, their relationship thin but holding. After finding her lover dead on the street a few months back, Spot had decided to let things cool off, blow over, before he spoke to her again. He instructed Julienne to back off a bit, make herself scarce around Manhattan. Cray had since then warmed up to him a bit, meeting him places when he wanted to a few times, always in Manhattan though; she said she didn't want to go to Brooklyn anytime soon. Truthfully, the thing that had changed Spot was Anthony being born. He couldn't stop feeling perfectly happy for Race, and visiting his friend's family was an excellent excuse to avoid to grittiness that had become so much of his life. _

"_Well if ya do see her, tell her we said hello" Lefty's voice said, as Spot came out of his thought. He stood up and reached for his cap._

"_Will do" he dropped it on his head lightly, and it landed at an odd angle, making Anthony laugh. _

"_Ya tink I'm funny, huh? Ya tink I'm funny?" Spot teased the little boy and gave him a playful pat on the cheek, before kissing Lefty's. _

"_See ya lata, an tell Racetrack I said hullo" _

"_Bye Spot" Lefty called as he shut the front door. She set Anthony down on the table again and went into the bedroom, searing for one of his little hats, of which he had many. It had been everyone's favourite activity, while she was pregnant, to knit tiny clothes for the baby, most of them accessories like socks and hats, since it had not been known then whether the baby would be a boy or girl. As Lefty leaned to pick up a dark blue cap, she heard the front door open. She pressed the hat to her face to muffle a frustrated cry, and waited for the high pitched "How my favourite little boy taday?" that always came when female visitors arrived. Instead she heard a deep chuckle, and raced out of the bedroom in slight panic, only to find Jack Kelly standing the kitchen, taking off his cowboy hat. _

"_Heya Lefty--what's dat look for" he asked amusedly as Lefty tried to wipe the look of relief off of her face. _

"_Thank God it's only you Jack" she said, watching him pick up Anthony and set him on his shoulders. _

"_Huh? Oh yeah, all da goils are at Medda's" Lefty raised an eyebrow. _

"_Medda's? Why?" she asked, fighting against the hurt feeling of not being invited. _

"_Mmmm, dunno, actually. Taylor jus told me dey'd be at Medda's for da morning, and we all had ta buy moah papes ta make up fa dem not selling" the story wasn't convincing; Taylor never, ever, let her girls take a day off from selling. _

"_Uh-huh. Well, anyways, whatta you doin heah Cowboy? Spot was just heah, ya know" she added, sitting down and tilting her chair back so it was balanced on the back two legs. _

"_Yeah I know, I saw him. We had a meeting las night, so…" Anthony's hands kept pulling on his hair, and Lefty sighed, hoping he would leave. She hadn't been outside all morning. _

"_Jack?" she said, interrupting his play-time._

"_What? Oh yeah…why don'tchya come for a walk wid, me, when was da las time we did dat, huh?" Lefty shrugged and stood up, standing on her tiptoes to reach Anthony. She put the hat on his head and walked towards the door. _

_Cray skipped across the empty stage at Irving Hall, peering up with wide eyes at the curtain and the lights, as if she had never seen anything like them before. When she'd heard the other girls were going to Medda's for the morning, she'd been hesitant to come; memories could be waiting to be brought back. But her stage life was over, she reasoned with herself, no need to fear something that no longer existed. So she tied back her messy hair and followed the other three downtown to the theatre, wondering what was in store. It turned out, much to everyone's great surprise, that Medda had been having some financial trouble, and Taylor thought it would be a good idea to poke through some of the old things that she was selling for a few bits a piece, like gloves and ripped petticoats. It had turned into an all out exhibition, with the four of them trying on old dresses that they couldn't afford, paring tem with gaudy hats and oversized rings, before running into the empty theatre, chasing each other up and down the aisles and hiding in the balcony. _

_Cray treaded carefully across the stage, careful not to step on the long purple dressing gown she was wearing. As costumey and cheaply made as it was, it couldn't help but remind of her of her old wardrobe at the Home of the White Rose. _

"_Cray, sing something!" she heard Ringelts call eagerly from the balcony. Cray laughed spun around girlishly. _

"_Why don't you Ringlets, you're the singin stah" Asia said from one of the audience seats. _

"_Whatta ya mean?" Cray asked curiously, sitting down on the edge of the stage. _

"_Well ya see, dis is weah we found Ringlets" Taylor said from her right, looking utterly ridiculous in a feathery pink dress. _

"_Really?" _

"_Yep, all dirty and with leaves in her haih, standing outside da front doors, singing at da top a her lungs in da ugliest voice you could tink of" Cray laughed as Ringlets blushed and leaned over the top of the balcony. _

"_I jus needed money Taylah, an you promised ya wouldn't tell dat story no moah" she whined. Taylor grinned._

"_Well Cray doesn't know da story, an I think she should" she argued. _

"_An so how did she decide ta become a newsie?" Cray asked. _

"_We told her she could make more money as a newsie, and she didn't have ta sleep in da pahk" Taylor explained. Cray strained to imagine the polite and neat Ringlets sleeping in the park._

"_Good story" she said, lying down on her back and looking up at the lights. _

"_Is dere a show tonight?" she wondered aloud. _

"_Medda's always got a show dese days" Asia said. _

"_Poor thing, she's jus not as populah as she was in da old days" Ringelts said. _

"_She's jus not as young as she was in da old days" Asia said rawly. They could hear voices warming up for the matinee performance. _

"_I wish we could have had Lefty come" Ringlets sulked. Taylor frowned. Cray had convinced them yesterday not to bother the Higgins's for a few days. Taylor had agreed uneasily, knowing Lefty needed a break from entertaining but feeling nervous about it all the same. _

"_I wonda how she'd enjoying her vacation" Asia muttered. _

"_Da truth is, well, I guess I'm just lonely" Jack said. Lefty sighed and reached for his hand. They had out in the sunshine for nearly two hours, Jack selling the last of his papes first before they began to banter about the park. They made small talk for the first fort-y five minutes, before Lefty demanded to know what was going on with him. It had taken the rest of the time to get an answer she would believe. _

"_Aw Jack whatta ya talkin about? You've got a whole city ta keep ya company." She said as they sat down on a bench. _

"_Not any moah" he sulked. Lefty shook her head. It was so uncharacteristic for Jack to be glum, but he had always liked talking to her, and knew if he told on of his boys they wouldn't understand, and Taylor would just make a fuss._

"_Whatta you mean?" Lefty asked, shifting the sleeping baby in her arms. _

"_It's jus…evah since Race left, things just haven't been da same." He pouted, "I'm not…blamin you, or anything like dat, I mean I was so happy when he said he was gonna marry you, when he asked me what I thought about it" that threw Lefty off. She had always thought Race's proposal was completely spontaneous--it hadn't occurred to her that anyone other than herself had known about it. But Jack and Race had always been really close, and she suddenly felt guilty about taking Race away from him. _

"_I'm jus so…old" he said slowly. Lefty laughed. Ever since she had first met him Jack had been the complete image of authority, a grown-up among the boys. Responsibly had caused him to grow up too fast, maybe, but he was only two years older than she. _

"_Jack, ya not even twenty yet" she reasoned._

"_Yeah, but I will be soon" he insisted, "an den what…am I supposed ta be sellin papes still?" _

"_You thinkin about leavin?" Lefty asked quietly. _

"_No" Jack said loudly, suddenly standing up, "I can't leave da boys, who'd take ovah fa me, Davy? He'll be in college, an---"_

"_He'd be shit at it" Lefty finished his thought. Jack frowned at her, but mentally agreed. David wasn't cut out for being a newsie leader, he didn't even really sell much anymore. _

"_What about Taylah?" Lefty suggested. Jack shrugged._

"_I don't wanna--"_

"_End up like me an Race?" Jack frowned again. _

"_Are you kiddin me? I'd give anything ta be like you guys. Jesus Christ you've got it all, don'tcha?" Lefty shook her head._

"_You don't have ta be like us Jack. Even I didn't think I'd be like dis, at sixteen" her face fell. Although she had never been happier, the thought of what kind of things she could of done with her life sometimes danced in her head. They always stayed, no matter how much she pushed them away. _

"_Do what you wanna do, Jack. Go places, see new things. Wait until your ready, to settle down, get a job, dat sorta thing. Ya don't have ta do it now, though" she added, taking his hand and pulling him down next to her. _

"_Stay around, will ya? I don't think da city's ready ta let you go." Jack smiled and kissed her forehead. _

"_Tanks doll," he said, "I'll see ya lata" _

_Lefty watched Jack walk away, holding Anthony in her arms. Her brow furrowed and she leaned her back against the bench, a strange feeling creeping over her, one that she had felt once before but could not remember where. She was aware of he hot sun shining down upon her, yet she felt cold. Her stomach felt sick with unease and guilt, although she could not imagine why. The sudden urge to cry washed through her, and looking about her, frightened, wishing for someone to come along and hold her, telling her that what she was feeling would not last. Anthony woke with a cry and she automatically rested his head on her shoulder, moving her hand on his back in small circles. Again she felt warm, the strange feeling gone as quickly as it had come. She stood up briskly and slowly walked out of the park. _

_Spot stretched his arms and gazed across the river. The sun was sinking and he knew she was standing behind him. _

"_Heya Cray" he said, wondering briefly if it was possible to spend the entire evening without looking at her._

"_Heya Spot" her voice said. He imagined her standing there, red hair tangled, street clothes dirty. Sometimes her attire reminded him too much of Twitchy, and he wished she would clean herself up for his sake. He felt her hand on his shoulder and he let her turn him around. He let a pleasured grin cross his lips at the sight of her. She looked as if she was in costume, and an all too familiar one at that. _

"_Whad ya do, steal dat from Medda?" he asked as she twirled around in her light blue feathery dress. She looked like a peacock. Cray nodded and smiled devilishly._

"_Exactly" she said, before laughing and running across the dock, bidding him to chase her. He ran after her, feeling happier than he had felt in a while. For a long time their relationship had been on the rocks, and he was keen to keep it as pleasant as it was now. He resolved not to question Cray to closely on what she did when they were not together, and he did not trouble about the past. The present was good enough for him._

"_You caught me" she shouted as he grabbed her by the waist, her tone a mixture of mock-anger and surprise. _

"_I'm too quick fa ya" Spot said, tickling her fiercely. Cray smiled inwardly. She was far quicker than him, but she decided that their relationship was fragile at best, and to challenge him, as she was inclined to, would not be wise. She turned around to face him._

"_Don't I get a reward?" he asked. She smiled coyly._

"_Of course" _

_The sun was slowly drooping in the sky, casting orange shadows through the windows of all the apartments along the streets. Racetrack sighed happily as he envisioned the light hitting Lefty's hair, making the auburn more reddish and her blue eyes a smiling crystal. He sighed again at the thought of holding his son, of feeling his little fingers wrap around his own. Race had never sighed so much in one day. Being a husband was so easy for him to get use to. He had never had to adjust to the thought of having Lefty to himself all day long, it was blissful and perfect, and he had quickly wondered how he had ever lived any other way. But being labelled as a father was something so foreign that it almost frightened him; the responsibly was so great and yet so easy. Babies were so easy to love, especially when they are your own. He happily sighed once more, caught in a rare moment where you are simply grateful to be alive. _

_From outside of the door he could hear Lefty's smooth voice singing an Italian lullaby that he had taught her. Her accent was no where near correct, but to him it sounded innocent and faultless. He put his key in the lock and opened the door. The sight of him caused a smile to spread onto her delicate face, just as it always did._

"_Heya doll" he said, pulling off his hat and vest. _

"_Heya Race" she said, not standing up from the chair she was sitting in at the table. Anthony, whom Lefty had just gotten to fall asleep, woke with a start at the sound of his father's voice. He squealed happily and bounced in Lefty's lap, reaching up expectedly. _

"_C'mere kid" Race said, lifting him up and down in the air. Lefty rested her head on her hand and sighed heavily, the sun shining on her hair. Race looked at her and grinned._

"_What?" she asked, bemused. _

"_Nothin" he said, bending down to kiss her. He stopped flying Anthony around and let him rest in his arms, patting his back and looking out the window. _

"_I think it's about time Teresa and everybody else meets him, whatta ya think?" Race asked aloud, "it's been a few weeks, and I bet dey won't be very happy if we wait any longah" He thought of Teresa and Adelina, sitting in their kitchens making pasta e minestra for the next person who walked in the door. Race wanted that person to be him. _

"_Whatta ya tink Lefty?" he asked again, turning around. Her head was resting on the table, eyes closed, her breathing soft and steady. _

"_Ah Lefty," he sighed, kissing the top of Anthony's dark head, "whatta ya do all day, huh? Run circles in da pahk?" he put Anthony down in his chair and shook Lefty slightly. _

"_Don't leave me yet princespessa" he murmured as she wrapped her arms around him. _

"_Sono spiacente" she whispered. He smiled. _

"_Don't worry about it" he told her, sitting down in another chair and pulling her into his lap. _

"_So ya wanna go ta Liddle Italy tomorrow?" he asked. _

"_You got da day off?" she inquired. The only day he didn't work was Sunday. _

"_I did" Race said, nodding. She rested her head on his chest and inhaled the smoky scent. _

"_Mmmhmm" she answered, happy at the thought of seeing Teresa. She made her feel so safe. She felt warm in Race's arms, and let her eyes droop. _

"_Sonno, ragazza graziosa" she heard Race say, before drifting off to sleep again._

_A/N: Time for a little Italian! I know you're confused, but I'm going to clear things up, I promise. The next chapter will be a flashback, because I needed to include some things in this story that I cannot fit in any other way than a flashback. This is important to me, my characters, and my story in general. LeftyH._

_P.S. Sono spiacente- I'm sorry_

_Sonno, ragazza graziosa- Sleep, pretty girl. _


	30. Chapter XXX

_"I'm takin you out today" Race announced. Lefty looked up from her eggs, sensing a surprise._

"_Ooo weah?" she asked, wiggling in her seat excitedly like a little girl. Race smirked. _

"_Liddle Italy" he said, taking a sip of coffee. Lefty smiled. They had been scarcely married a month and Lefty had already become accustomed to her new life. With Race's income combined with the money she made selling papes, they had more than she had ever lived off of in her life. She spent her days as she wished, getting up a little after Race did to make breakfast; she wasn't a great cook, but she was learning, and they went out for meals mostly anyways._

_Before Race got his job at the tracks, they had only gone out to Tibby's or bought food at the cheap stands on Coney Island, but Race had never lost his need for Italian food; it reminded him of home. He'd taken her out to little, dark places he knew from long ago, where everyone had a heavy accent and he ordered everything in Italian. That was one of Lefty's favourite things about Race, the fact that he was bilingual. A few years of ill-usage had not made his command of the language a bit rusty, and it rolled so easily off his tongue that sometimes Lefty would ask him to speak only in Italian, and he would go off on rants, talking so fast she couldn't understand a thing, or he would murmur the sweet, familiar words that he had always said to her, right from the beginning of their relationship. _

"_Can we go to Il Posto D'angolo?" she asked, referring to one of their favourite haunts. _

"_Maybe" Race said, "but I wanna take you some othah places foist" _

"_Like weah?" Lefty said, curiously. Race smiled, eyes shining. _

"_Some people dat I haven't seen in a long time. I tink dey should meet ya" he told her. After his mother died he had left Little Italy, where they had settled after they immigrated. He had abandoned the fond memories and loving people that he'd grown up with for a new life, needing independence, room to grow. Now he was married, and taking a stroll down memory lane felt like the right thing to do. _

_So Lefty put on a nice dress and he combed his hair, watching her tie her hair, wondering what she was thinking. He had only ever taken her to Little Italy for romantic dinners and long walks, but only along the Via Principale, the main street. Today he planned on taking her somewhere entire different. _

_He had been born Anthony Higgins, first and only child to his Italian mother, Maria, and his Irish father, Sean. He remembered so little of the old country, just the sounds and smells of the street, the voices that sometimes he still heard in his dreams. He remembered the small house they had left when he was only three, his father saying they were going to go live in his country, called Ireland. He had been sick on the journey and could not recall much of it, only that Ireland was greener than anything he had ever seen, and no one spoke a word he could understand. His mother was a lost and lonely soul there, with no one to befriend except her husband, who taught Anthony his first words of English; please, thank you, yes, no. _

_There was a great fever, one that Maria shielded her son from but could not protect her husband from. Sean Higgins died when his son was not yet four. Maria was completely alone, she had not one friend to help her, and no money to travel across Europe back to Italy. So she sold the house and most of her belonging to buy a good coat for Anthony, and two tickets to America, the place where she could start a new life. _

_Anthony's memory heightened America drew closer. He remembered the ship that brought them there, how cold and cramped it was, how many children from all different countries and languages peered at him, spoke to him, but he had been too shy to leave the safety of his mother's arms. The ship docked on Elise Island, and the tall green lady held the light for them to see by. _

_Anthony had imagined America would be like Ireland, where no one spoke his language and everyone stared at him with cold eyes. But it was entirely the opposite. The street they lived on, in fact the entire area that belonged to was called 'La Poca Italia", a phrase Anthony heard so often he quickly learned it's English meaning--Little Italy. Everyone he knew spoke Italian, and he made friends with all the boys and girl in his apartment building, and soon on his entire block. Many of them spoke Italian and English, and his vocabulary improved with each passing day. His mother looked happier and healthier than she had in a long time, and she was looked after by a woman named Teresa. _

_Teresa Dizaria was a woman older than Anthony's mama, who spoke in Italian with a husky voice. She said this was because she was from Tuscany, where people loved the earth and spoke to it all day long as they farmed, making their voices low and gruff like the hearty soil they tilled. Teresa's dark hair had many streaks of gray, and skin had creases and wrinkles in it, a sharp contrast to the smoothness of Maria's skin that Anthony kissed so often._

_Teresa was a mother to Maria and a grandmother to Anthony. As soon as they arrived, the newest tenants in the area, Teresa brought them 'torta del pasta pollo'-- chicken and pasta pie. Her apartment was right next door, and Anthony and his mother were invited to visit any time they pleased, which they did. Teresa had a daughter, Adelina, whom she was always trying to marry off. Adeline would sit Anthony on her lap and listen to her mother rant in Italian about Francesco and Patrizio and Biagio, about how handsome and smart they all were, until Adeline would ask Anthony what he thought off all this 'assurdita', nonsense, and he would laugh and say that all those big boys were crazy, but secretly he admired them for their bravery and tough stories. Those boys would always tell Anthony and his friends about the adventures they had in the city, outside of La Poca Italia. Eyes wide, Anthony would hear them tell of sights they'd seen and brawls they'd won, particularly against the loathsome Irish. Anthony kept the fact that his father was Irish a secret; his mother had listed their names and Maria and Anthony Cianci when they'd gotten on the boat to America, and she had always introduced them to the neighbors as the Cianci's._

_Anthony was happy to grow up in New York City, even though he never really left his small, ethnic division. Every few months he would take dares the other boys placed to see who would go out into the foreign streets the farthest, but apart from those ventures and a few shopping trips with his mother, he rarely left Little Italy. Maria worked as a seamstress at a bridal shop a few blocks away and during most days Anthony would go to the local school, which was Italian dominated. He learned how to write in English, spell his name and translate 'Desidero che ho avuto un cane' to 'I wish that I had a dog'. The teacher taught them basic math by using playing cards, and after Anthony had quickly grasped the concept, he asked the teacher to show him how to play. Mr. Rugerio was a nice young man who lived three apartments down from Anthony and his mother, and he showed him how to do tricks and play simple games. By the time he was seven Anthony was a regular 'card shark', as Mr. Rugerio said. He played cards with the other boys, winning ever time. All the girls teased him for playing so much, and Mr. Rugerio would laugh and scold him for shuffling in class._

_One day, Mr. Rugerio asked if it would be alright if he stopped by Anthony's apartment for dinner. Anthony was happy to invite him, and ran home eagerly to tell his mother the news. But Maria said she all ready knew. She had invited him herself. Anthony though nothing more of it and enjoyed the evening. Mr. Rugerio was clean shaven, and was wearing a vest and tie. Maria had on her best red dress from the old country. All night he made Anthony laugh, playing cards with him and complimenting his mother, making her blush. It had long been dark by the time his mother sent him to bed, and Anthony spied through a crack in the door to see what they were doing alone. Mr. Rugerio kept getting closer and closer to his mother, touching her arm, her hair, her cheek. The moment before his lips met Maria's Anthony turned away, biting his tongue, feeling bitterly confused and betrayed. _

_Anthony shied away from Mr. Rugerio in class, even though the teacher kept talking to him, acting just as he always had. He came by the apartment more and more, bringing flowers or deserts or other various gifts, always asking Anthony if he wanted to play cards, which Anthony shook his head at, then talking for long periods of time with Maria. Anthony stopped watching from the door, and ran outside to visit Teresa and Adelina, or play with his other friends. Teresa said that Mr. Rugerio was nothing more than a friend of Maria, but Anthony caught that dark and foreboding looks she cast to her daughter when they thought his back was turned. _

_After several months Anthony grew accustomed to seeing Mr. Rugerio all day at school, and then for more hours at his little flat. Maria left him home alone to go out with him, always saying she would be back soon, and not returning till dawn. Teresa and Adeline would come and take care of him then, even though Maria had not asked. 'Appena un amico', Adeline would say, 'Just a friend.' But Anthony knew better, though he wished he did not. _

_Finally Maria called her son into the kitchen and took him upon her lap. _

"_Anthony, mio re piccolo" she said, "how would you like it if Signor Rugerio stayed with you and me all the time?" Her American accent was almost indecipherable, like Teresa's. Anthony wondered how the Italian fell out of his so easily. _

"_You mean, in the house?" he asked her. She nodded._

"_Si innamorato, live with us" Anthony let his eyes do wide and jumped out of her lap, running for the door. He ran down the stairs, not heeding her calls. He ran next door and up the stairs to Teresa's flat. _

"_Teresa!" he cried, bursting in, "dobbiano pregare!" Teresa did not ask why; it seemed as though she already knew Anthony's plight. She reached into her apron pocket and pulled out her rosary beads. They knelt before the small wooden cross above her bed and spoke together._

"_Santa Maria, piena di tolleranza, vigilanza sopra noi" Holy Mary, full of grace, watch over us. _

_Anthony stayed at Teresa's flat all night, listening to her and Adelina talk about marriage sanctum and other things he did not understand. All night he clutched the holy beads to his chest, murmering, "Ave Maria, Santa Maria..." _

_When he came home in the morning Mr. Rugerio was there, and he asked Anthony to call him Joseph. Anthony ran to his room, past his mother's outstretched arms, and closed the door. _

_Things were good at first, better than they would be, at least. Anthony spent most of his time at Teresa's, because Joseph and his mother were always out. He played cards with Adelina and listened to Teresa's stories about when she was young. The sweetness of their guardianship was made bitter by the absence of his mother, whom Anthony prayed for, without receiving any answer. One day Anthony was helping Teresa with dinner when the door flew open and Joseph barged in, fuming and reeking of alcohol. He grabbed Anthony by his collar and dragged him back home, screamed in Italian too angrily for Anthony to want to comprehend. He was angry and drunk, and needed to take out his wrath on someone other than Maria. He threw open the door to their flat and Anthony saw his mother standing there, crying, holding a hand over her eye. _

"_Anthony!" she screamed, reaching for him. Anthony saw the bruise on her eye and let out a yell, wrestling out of Joseph's grasp and kicking him hard in the gut. _

"_Mama, Mama, aiutilo, andiamo via!" his pleas were not headed. Maria wept harder and clutched her son to her as Joseph ran at them, wrenching them apart and hitting Anthony hard over and over again. When he was satisfied, or perhaps too tired to beat him anymore, he left and slammed the door behind him. For a while they were alone, holding each other and crying, until Teresa came to mend them, praying over them. _

_Joseph came less and less to the house, when he did it was either to take Maria out or hit her. Maria grew paler and weaker, she lost her appetite and her job, and slept all day. Teresa cared for her and Adelina watched Anthony, but they could not stay when Joseph came. He cursed Maria for being sick and beat Anthony relentlessly, until he realized that he could use them no more, and left for the city. _

_Maria died one hot afternoon, lying in her bed, Teresa standing over her. _

"_She was troppo abastanza" Teresa said, crossing herself, 'too pretty'. Anthony was wrought with pain and tears. God and Mary had abandoned him. His mother was dead and his body was weak. He owned nothing in the world but the shirt on his back, a pack of cards, and the rosary beads that Teresa had given him. He stayed at her house for only a short while, but found that too much of his surroundings reminded him of his mother, of Joseph. He wandered the streets of Little Italy, feeling torn and closed in. He resented everything and everyone, his manner turning bitter and cynical. One day he put his cards and his rosary beads in his pocket and left the house, walked to the border of Little Italy, and stepped beyond it into the busy streets of the real city. He never looked back._

_"Race?" Lefty said. He blinked and turned to look at her. _

"_What?" he asked tonelessly. _

"_Hand me dat pin" she motioned towards the little table where she kept her small group of accessories, and he picked up one of the little wires. She slid it into her hair and looked at him. _

"_Well, do I look alright?" she asked, sounding a bit anxious and perplexed. Race shook all the dark thoughts out of his head and gave her a grin._

"_You look perfect princespessa" he told her, taking her hands in his and kissing her pretty lips. _

"_So who are we going ta see?" Lefty asked as they walked through the streets. _

"_Some people dat I knew a long time ago" he answered, being purposely vague. He wanted Teresa to meet Lefty, to see how far he had come, what he had achieved. Yet he did not want Lefty to think she was on display; he did not want to make her nervous. _

"_Oh" was her quaint response. She seemed to be brimming with girlish anticipation, as though she thought he had planned a wonderful surprise._

"_Will dey like me?" she asked after a while. Race smirked._

"_Amili" _

_The street where he had lived was eerily familiar and unchanged. Race felt as though he had never left, and for a moment wished he hadn't. It was so welcoming, so safe. He heard his language being spoken from all angles, the Italian flag flying from many apartment windows. There was not a child in sight without the dark skin and eyes so common in his nationality, and he wondered how many of them would share his fate. _

"_Which one was yours?" Lefty asked. Race looked down at her. Though their hands were linked, he had forgotten she was there. She had been silently observing all the new sights with wide eyes, imagining what it was like to live here. _

"_Dat one" Race said as they stopped in front of one of the buildings. He pointed to the third floor window. It did not look empty, as Race had assumed. He wondered who lived there now. _

"_An dere" he said, pointing towards the fourth floor of the apartment building next door, "is weah we are goin" Lefty smoothed out her dress and Race ran a hand through his hair. They caught each other's eye and laughed at their nervousness. He kissed her hand and they went inside. _

"_S'cuse me" Race said to the landlady at the desk in the common room of the building, "Does Teresa Dizaria still live heah?" she was not the landlady he remembered, and she looked at him with a confused face. _

"_Fa Teresa Dizaria ancora in tensione qui?" he translated quickly. The woman smiled._

"_Si, quarto pavimento, numero diciotto" Fourth floor, number eighteen. Race did not need that information, he remembered exactly which room it was. _

"_Grazie" he said, before taking Lefty's hand and walking towards the stairs. They climbed until they reached the fourth floor, and Race led her to number eighteen's door. _

"_Li amera come" he told her confidently. She will love you as I do. He knocked on the door gently, feeling suddenly nervous, and wondering briefly if Teresa would be angry at him for leaving without word. The door opened, catching him unawares. Adelina stood there, a bit of flour on her cheek and a baby on her hip. She stared at Race for a moment, then down at Lefty, and then back to Race. Then her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open in shock. _

"_Anthony?" she whispered. Race grinned. _

"_Bonjourno Adelina" he said. She let out a cry of joy and reached out with her free arms to pull him into a tight embrace. He relished the comforting feeling and let her pull him into the familiar kitchen._

"_Anthony, mio ragazza piccolo, my little boy, my little boy!" she cried out over and over again, laughing in wonder, "Look at you! So handsome and all grown...Santa Maria I never thought I would see those brown eyes again!" Race laughed and hugged her again, kissing her cheek. _

"_Did ya miss me?" he asked hopefully, knowing the answer. Adeline looked at him as though he was crazy._

"_Aw, mio piccolo, don't say such things, how could we not? I missed you everyday, everyday my little one!" Race shook his head, smiling._

"_I ain't ya liddle one anymoah," he said, looking down at the baby in Adelina's arms. She smiled and sat the child down in a chair at the table. _

"_And he isn't my only little one, I have two more at school" Race laughed and she blushed. _

"_So who'd ya marry Lina?" he asked eagerly, wondering which of her many prospects she had chosen. _

"_Da betta question is, who did you marry Anthony?" she responded, taking his left hand in hers and fingering the thin band that encircled it. Race nearly jumped at the question. He looked back at the door, and Lefty was still there, standing the threshold. She seemed to be quite content in watching the reunion and not stepping into the apartment. It almost felt wrong to her to intrude. _

"_Lefty" Race said softly, walking over to her and taking her hand. He led her into the kitchen and stood in front of Adelina once more, slipping his arm around Lefty's shoulders proudly._

"_Dis is my wife, Lefty" he said, "Lefty, dis it Adelina" the two looked at each other. Lefty was much smaller and younger than Adelina; she looked almost childlike standing before her. But they shared some kind of familiarity, some bond, that Race did not anticipate. Adelina stepped forward and held Lefty close, kissing her cheek. _

"_Benvenuto" she said earnestly. Welcome. Lefty wished she could say something to her, that she had heard so much about her, perhaps, but she could not. She had never met or heard of Adelina before, but all the same she knew she would love her, she could tell by the way her soft brown eyes smiled at her while she talked to Race. _

_They sat down at the table and talked a long while, first about what Race did after he left La Poca Italia, how he met Lefty, what their wedding was like. Then all about Adelina's wedding, who she had settled on the butcher's son, Alfonso, who Teresa only approved of because he have them the freshest meat for free._

"_Si, ho sposato mio Alfonso" Adelina said contentedly, sipping the coffee she had made. I married my Alfonso._

"_And who did you marry, Anthony?" a voice asked from the doorway. They all turned to see a woman standing there in a homespun dress, long dark gray hair braided back. Her dark skin was lined and wrinkled, and her brown eyes twinkled._

"_Teresa" Race got up from his chair and approached her. She did not embrace him immediately, as her daughter had done, but walked past him, patting his cheek as she went. _

"_Who did you marry, Anthony?" she asked again, moving over to where Lefty was sitting, "not this little thing, surly?" Teresa looked down into Lefty's clear blue eyes. "E giusta un bambino" She is just a baby. The older woman touched Lefty's face gently, then leaned down and kissed her forehead._

"_Benvenuto, ragazza piccola" she murmured, then laughed wonderfully, "Ha! Un ragazza piccola per mio ragazza piccolo" A little girl for my little boy. _

"_Teresa, dis is Lefty, my--" _

"_Tesoro? Amore?" Darling? Love? Teresa suggested, interrupting Race._

"_His wife" Adelina said. Teresa smiled and held Lefty's soft little left hand in her calloused one, fingering the ring. She stared at her face for a long while, examining her features. _

"_Well Anthony, she is not Italian, but she will do" Lefty found herself laughing, and Race grinned as she finally embraced him. _

"_But she is like your mama, Lord bless her" Teresa said, crossing herself. _

"_How?" Race asked, sitting down next to Lefty again. _

"_Troppo abastanza" she answered, taking her sleeping grandson in her lap and sitting next to Adelina. Race laughed._

"_Too pretty" he translated for Lefty. _

"_Your mama was too pretty, Anthony" Teresa said, shaking her head. _

"_Shhhh" Adelina said, putting a hand on her mother's. _

"_Mio piccolo, he calls you Lefty. What is your real name?" Teresa asked. Lefty, who was usually not inclined to give out such truly personal information, did not hesitate._

"_Emma, or Emmy, dat's what I was called" she answered. _

"_Ah, I see. But you are like Anthony, then" Teresa said, "you leave one name behind and get another one. You leave one life behind, and get another one" Race frowned._

"_Teresa, I didn't--" _

"_Yes you did, and you had every right to" Teresa said firmly. "I left my old life for a new one, so did your mother. You have done this too, and look what you have found because of it!" she looked at Lefty. _

"_Li ho mancati" Race said, his eyes large and dark. I missed you._

"_And we did also," she said, "ci non è niente perdonare" But there is nothing to forgive. Race felt relieved and sad at the same time. He knew, somehow, that she would understand his leaving. He had come back not only to show them how he had changed and what his life was now like, but also to seek some kind of peace. He wanted them to know he did not mean to leave them, and that he was grateful for all they had given him._

_The four of them stayed in the kitchen for hours, listening to each others stories, about weddings and friends, familiar names and new ones. Teresa asked Lefty about her past a little, politely, as though she knew it was something Lefty didn't want to talk about. _

_After a while Adelina stood up and said she had to go pick up her other two children from school. She asked Race if he wanted to go, but he shook his head and smiled, embracing her again and exchanging kisses._

"_I'll go" Lefty offered then, rising as Adelina picked up her baby. Race squeezed her hand and Teresa kissed her cheek goodbye. _

_Race felt a strong urge to move, to do something, as the door closed behind Lefty and Adelina, but instead he lay his head wearily down on the table. He heard Teresa's long skirts shuffle as she stood, and then she was by his side, smoothing his hair. He was immediately reminded of his mother, soothing him as she always had, countless times in his childhood. He did not cry, no tears would come, even if he had wanted them to. _

"_Mio piccolo...it was right for you to come, to see us after so long" he wanted to nod, to say that he knew, but he could not. _

"_The little girl is perfect, perfect for you, Anthony, I can tell. I am glad you brought her today" Race lifted his head and gave a weary smile. Teresa moved towards the kitchen counter, picking up a book. _

"_Give her these," she told him, taking out several faded and thin pieces of paper, "she is a young bride, and I know she feels alone in that. These will help her grow, help you both grow" she gave the papers to Race, and he looked at them, finding that they were recipes that Teresa had made for him long ago, that she knew were his favorites. He bit his lip, and she though he was going to cry. She took his face in her rough hands_

"_Hush, shhh, go home and be happy with your darling--I want Maria to have some grandchildren!" she added spiritedly, making him grin, "say your prayers, your Aves--you still have the rosary, don't you Anthony?" he nodded solemnly. It was tucked safely away in a drawer by the bed at home. He held it in his hands every once in a while, remembering his old faith. _

"_Go now, Anthony, I am tired. No, don't do that---" she instructed as he made signs of worry, "I will be fine. Go outside, she will be waiting for you there, I am sure." Teresa kissed him and crossed him, smiling. _

"_I'll come back again, I promise" Race said as he opened the door. She nodded._

"_Not until you have little ones of your own" she said, wagging a finger. He grinned._

"_Goodbye Teresa" _

"_Goodbye, mio ragazza piccolo" _


	31. Chapter XXXI

_Crayola looked at the windowsill. On it was a small bouquet of brown, dead flowers, in an old, cracked glass bottle. What had been in that bottle when it was first purchased? Gin, maybe, that would explain why the flowers died so quickly. Or could it have been milk, from one of the younger girls. Then there was always the chance that it had held some fancy liquid soap or shampoo, which, in that case, had been stolen from a shop or a lady's basket long ago. The flowers had been dead for a long time, Cray thought; they were brown and thin, as if the slightest touch would cause them to disintegrate into a little pile, like dust. _

_The dead flowers gave Cray a chilled, uncanny feeling. Contrary to the Home of the White Rose, where bouquets of flowers, naturally roses, were around every corner and freshly changed daily, the girls in the Lodging House rarely brought flowers in at all. They had no fancy, china vases, and no money to buy ribbon-tied bouquets. The only flowers they were associated with were the ones that grew on trees, which they plucked off and stuck in their hair when it pleased them. _

_Julienne preferred dead flowers over living ones. She would hoard them when she was a child, at the White Rose, taking them out of the garbage after the maids thrown them away. She would arrange them in her room as if she was giving them a funeral, and afterwards wear them in her hair like a thorny crown. That was when the others suspected that there was indeed something wrong with that girl. _

"_She'll only be heah for a liddle while" Spot said. Cray stopped looking at the dead flowers on the windowsill and met Spot's eyes. They had been fooling around on her bunk in the Girls' Lodging House for hours, while everyone else was out selling the morning edition. Spot had gotten her shirt off and camisole unlaced, as well as her skirt pushed up to her waist before he had chosen to say between kisses 'By the way, Twitch is coming by lata" She had immediately pulled away from him, making him sorry he had brought up the subject. He had only thought to tell her because if he didn't and Cray found out, their so-far-so-good relationship may not be so good at all. _

_Now Cray was leaning back on the metal head of the bed, wishing she hadn't thrown the pillow onto the floor below to make more room for Spot, so that she could prop it up against her back. She hadn't seen Julienne for months, and hadn't thought about her either. _

"_I don't caeh" she lied indifferently. Spot played with the sheet._

"_She's been away from heah fa months, Cray. I've had her on da outskirts a da city doin odd jobs fa so long, an I gotta tawk ta her" he insisted. Making excuses like this was so far from what he was used to he almost didn't believe what he was saying. Normally if one of his girls had a problem with Twitchy, too bad, they either got over it and kept their mouth shut or Spot got rid of them. But since Cray had such an old connection with Twitch, he suffered her to know all the information about his best spy's comings and goings. _

"_Fine! Fine, it's fine" Cray said in a high pitched voice, throwing her hands up in the air carelessly, "I don't caeh, I'll make meself scarce, a'right?" Spot sighed. God she could such a melodramatic headache. _

"_I'm not banishing you, Cray" he said angrily, "I'm just tryin ta makes things easiah fa you by lettin you know what's goin on" Cray shrugged. _

"_Well thanks" she snapped, lacing up her underclothes and putting her shirt back on. She hopped down from the bed and landed on the floor loudly, leaving Spot fuming on the bunk. If he wanted to ruin their time together by talking about Julienne, then it would be his loss, she thought. She didn't need sex with them now, there would always be later. Right now she was hungry for something other than him. _

_Cray leaned on the glass counter top where the deserts were placed, green eyes switching from the muffins, to the pie, to the little cakes and back again to the muffins. It is when you are the most hungry that you can't decide what you want. Tibby stood behind the counter, waiting for her order. _

"_C'mon Miz Crayola, what'll it be?" he asked impatiently, drying off a shot glass with the white cloth he always carried around. Cray glared at him. _

"_A piece of cherry pie, dat muffin," she said pointing, "two ham sandwiches and a large cup a Irish coffee" Tibby nodded curtly and Cray sighed, walking lazily to an empty table and sitting down at it. She stuffed her hands into her pockets and felt a few coins there, and she wondered if it would be enough to pay for her meal. She hadn't eaten all day, and it would probably be the only food she would have all day. She hadn't sold for a while, and her savings were going to run out soon. _

"_Deah ya go" the waiter said as he placed the plates before Cray. She smiled, glad she had ordered so much. It would probably have to last her for the next few days. She needed to stretch her last few cents to buy papes. _

_Spot looked in through the large glass window at Tibby's. There was Cray, hunched over a big piece of pie, shovelling greedily. Her frowned and swung open the door roughly, marching inside and planting himself in the chair opposite her. She looked up from her pie broodingly, and then went back to eating. _

"_Are you going to eat this?" he asked, picking up her muffin. She snatched it away from him. _

"_Do ya still wanna go out wid me tonight?" he asked, putting a sweetly hopeful voice. She shrugged, keeping her eyes on the pie. _

"_Deah's da pahty in Queens I'm going to next week, I told you about dat, right?" he said, thinking of how strange it was that the group of boys he had been planning atrocities against a few months ago was now treating him to a night of food and dancing. All for the sake of keeping the peace, he thought. _

"_If all goes well it should be a pretty good time…Queens threw bettah pahties dan Manhattan, back before Dice came into da picture" he added. Having finished her pie, Cray took a big gulp of coffee and reached for the remaining sandwich. 'She always takes huge bites of her food' Spot thought. Whenever she ate her cheeks were bulging like a chipmunk. Spot laughed out loud at the though; it was very endearing. _

"_What?" Cray asked thickly, mouth full. This caused Spot to laugh even harder, and he only stopped when an angry flushed rose in her big cheeks. She swallowed and took another monstrous bite. Spot felt her legs swinging back under the table. She was so small that her feet didn't even touch the ground. Sometimes Cray could look so child-like, with her worn, loose button-up shirts that she stole from the boys, her hair tangled into a messy braid under her cap, her face smudged with dirt from being outside so much. She looked like fiery little boy who was always in trouble with his mother for playing in the mud, a far cry from the high maintenance damsel she had been long ago. Spot suppressed his laughter again. _

"_We could always skip show tonight…da barracks will be pretty empty later on, maybe we could do something there" the words which normally Spot would have though would excite created no impact. She finished her sandwich and tore into the muffin. Spot shook his head in wonder. Why what he entreating her so? Why did he pine for her attention, her affection, when for so long he himself had been the target of desire? A completely foreign and disturbing feeling crept through him. A completely foreign and disturbing thought crept into his mind. He stared at Cray's red hair as she bent over her plate. It was so unbelievable and shell-shocking that it couldn't be true, yet so definite and infinite that it had to be. _

_He loved her. Spot Conlon loved Cray, as much as he fought against it. The one thing he had tried to distance himself from his entire life was now consuming him, drowning him. He couldn't take his eyes of her; he couldn't take his mind off her. He wanted her attention, and he desperately needed her affection. He would sacrifice so much for her; he knew he would, no matter what the circumstances. It was too much for Spot to take in. These thought were so dangerous, so deep. He felt sick to his stomach and uncontainably happy at the same time. He couldn't sit with her any more, he couldn't look at her. It was too much. He tore himself way from the table without saying a word and burst out of the restaurant. He needed to think about what was happening to him. _

_Cray edged towards Spot's door at the barracks. She heard Julienne's voice coming from within his room and bit her lip. She wanted to appear completely austere and calm, just to show him up for being to annoying towards her. In her mind her behaviour had been completely expected and reasonable; he had no reason to be upset with her. She slowed her pace and stood in the threshold. Spot was sitting on the table facing Julienne, whose back was towards Cray. Spot looked up from the conversation and nodded at her, an eyebrow slightly raised. Seeing this, Julienne whipped around and looked at her skeptically. Cray leaned her little curvaceous body against the door, trying to appear as sophisticated and under control as she could. _

"_Anything else Twitch? New arrivals?" Spot asked, resuming their talk. Obviously he had been debriefing her on al of the information about her ventures through the city. _

"_Hatty none. Queens none. East Side two, one girl." Julienne rattled off, " Midtown none. Little group in West Harlem, ya know, Benny's boys? Dey jus got two new boys, immigrants, fresh off the boat." _

"_From weah?" Spot asked as Julienne stood up and put her hat on. _

"_Uh...Polish, I tink. Didn't meet 'em, just hoid de accent" Spot sighed and nodded. _

"_A'right Twitch tanks a lot. I'll see ya 'round." He stood and spit shook with her, and she left the room, not looking at Cray as she passed. _

_Both of them were silent in the new and awkward emptiness, Spot staring at the floor, Cray out the window. _

"_Hey" Spot's rusty voice finally said. _

"_Hey" she echoed. Another long moment of stillness, until Spot took his hands out of his pockets defeatedly. _

"_Look, I'm---"_

"_No, I'm--"_

"_Sorry" they both said at once, looking at each other in surprise. Cray didn't know how an apology had come out of her mouth; she certainly hadn't intended it to. Spot seemed equally alarmed yet pleased. _

"_Hey" he said again, a laugh contained in words._

"_Hey" Again they were passionately kissing, as if nothing had happened. Cray forgot her immaturity and anger at him and Julienne, as she always did. Usually they both forgot what they had even been fighting about, but this time Spot couldn't. The only though in his mind was how he had allowed the word 'love' to pop into it, and now it refused to leave. He was scared that he would say it, right them, just break the kiss and blurt it out, and he struggled fiercely against that urge. He knew she couldn't accept it, or rather he was afraid that she wouldn't, because he couldn't accept it himself. _

"_So we still gonna go out tonight?" she breathed in cute, hopeful tone. He smiled._

"_Sure kid, whatevah you want." _


	32. Chapter XXXII

_Teresa stared across the table at Lefty. She was blowing on the soup Adelina had served for lunch, cooling it to her liking. This wouldn't have been unusual, except for the fact that it was cold fagioli soup, left over from the night before. The thin girl's blue eyes were lowered, peering over the bowl as if trying to see her reflection in it. This was impossible, of course, because fagioli soup was made from tomatoes and had a deep red colour, not something you could easily use as a mirror. _

_It had been almost two and a half hours since Anthony and Lefty had appeared at the door, this time bringing a little baby boy that Teresa now held in her arms. Adelina had kissed them again and again, crying, asking why they had not sent word or came earlier. Lefty had not been strong enough, was Anthony's answer, and Teresa, who had been looking proudly over Adelina's shoulder at the time, believed him completely._

_This was the fifth or sixth time that Anthony and Lefty had come to visit her, since their first meeting many months before. When Teresa had first met Lefty was a new, young bride, with sparkling eyes and the familiar glow of happiness and subtle sensuality. She was healthy and always laughing, as if she held the world in her palm and loved to charm it with her beauty and wit. She was different now, although the change was discreet, not one that the average person would notice. But Teresa noticed. Perhaps it was because she was old and had been many young girls, including herself, pale in the flush of youth, or maybe it was because of her naturally nurturing, maternal heart that took so quickly to Anthony's pretty little wife. But for whatever reason, Teresa took detailed notice of how Lefty had altered since the start of her pregnancy. _

_It had been a difficult time, Teresa knew, when Lefty was carrying her child. She was almost always ill, sometimes too ill to leave her home and come for a visit. But this was natural for new mothers; Adelina had been the same way with her first child. Teresa had expected her to bounce back after she had given birth, as her own daughter had, to regain her old strength and acquire a new one, the strength automatically given with the responsibility of becoming a parent. Lefty had, to some extent. Her ashen face a gained some colour, her eyes again sparkled when she laughed. But her laugh was thin now, frail, like the rest of her body. Her large eyes seemed to carry something beyond the responsibility bestowed on her, something deeper, sadder. As baby Anthony gave a little gurgle in Teresa's arms, Lefty looked up from her soup and smiled. In her eyes Teresa saw a tiredness that made her own heart melancholy. What was it that could weigh down so heavily on such a young thing? _

"_You have a happy baby" Teresa said in her husky voice. Lefty nodded. _

"_He's a good boy...doesn't cry too much, always smiling" her clear eyes locked with the dark ones of her son._

"_Soon he'll have teeth" the older woman said. Lefty laughed softly. _

"_Hopefully not for a while" she said. Taylor and Mrs. Jacobs had both said he would have teeth for about ten months, and he was only three months old. _

"_You'd be surprised," Teresa said, chuckling, "they grow faster than you think." She bounced Anthony up and down on her knee, "Are you going to grow up too quick mio ragazzo piccolo" _

_Lefty shook her head. Mio ragazzo piccolo. My little boy. How many times had she heard Race say that as he lulled Anthony to sleep? His ragazzo principe and his princespessa. His prince and his princess. Those were the names he gave out to his family, the titles. The words were so old, so familiar. He had called her his princess since the moment they met, it seemed. _

"_Bonjourno!" came Race's voice from the door behind Lefty. Anthony started giggling, like he always did when he saw his father, and Teresa got up. Lefty felt a pair of hands on her shoulders, and saw it was Adelina, who bent down to kiss her cheeks. She and Race had been gone for a few hours, visiting people and places that Race wanted to see. This was how their visits were. She and Race would eat and talk and share news with Adelina and Teresa for a hour or so, then one of them would go for a walk through Little Italy with Adelina, or go with her to pick up her children from school, leaving the other to stay and talk with Teresa. _

"_Did you have a good time?" Lefty asked as Adelina set her daughter down on the table. The young woman nodded. _

"_Tell Lefty what you learned at school today" Adelina told her six year old girl. _

"_Ho imparato circa le rane" the small girl said, staring at Lefty excitedly. Adelina laughed._

"_She says she learned about frogs" Lefty smiled._

"_No English yet?" she asked, wondering how early the Italian children born in America learned the country's native language._

"_Oh she can speak it well, she just doesn't like to" Teresa said from where she was standing with Race. _

"_Yes, she likes the l'Italiano better, don't you mio dolce" Adelina cooed to her daughter. Anthony whimpered and Race sighed._

"_I tink someone's tired, whatta you say Lefty?" he asked. It took her a moment to realize he was talked about Anthony; she felt exhausted herself. _

"_I tink it might be time ta go" she said, agreeing with her husband whole-heartedly and nodding respectfully at Adriana and Teresa as she stood. _

"_Here's your hat, what's your hurry?" Adelina teased. Race smirked. _

"_We'll be back ta visit again soon" he promised, handing Anthony over to Lefty so he could hug and kiss the other two women._

"_Of course" Teresa said skeptically. She kissed Lefty on both cheeks, gave Anthony one last squeeze, said 'Arrivederci' and closed the door behind them. _

"_So how was everything?" Lefty asked as they exited the Italian quarter. Anthony was whining loudly and she hummed softly to calm him. _

"_Fine..." Race said distantly, lighting a cigarette. They walked in silence through the streets for a long while, weaving through the crowd. _

"_I wish I could have just stayed home" Race said finally. Lefty looked up at him curiously._

"_You mean with me an Teresa at da apartment?" she clarified. Race shook his head and took a drag, frowning darkly._

"_No, I mean at home, our home" Lefty was taken aback. Never had Race ever shown any disinterest or hostility about their visits, in fact sometimes it almost seemed that he insisted they go. _

"_Why?" Lefty asked, walking closer to him than she had before. Their pace slowed. _

"_I dunno...it's strange now, ya know? I don't want ta go anymoah...I just kinda feel like I half ta" Race exhaled heavily, stuffing his hands into his pockets as though it would help the situation solve itself. _

"_Maybe next time I'll be to sick to go, and we'll half ta stay home" Lefty said airily. Race smiled and kissed her nose, and Lefty wished desperately that her suggestion would remain a fiction--she feared it might come true._

_They neared Duane Street, finding it busy as ever in the duty late afternoon. But as they approached the Boys' Lodging House, Lefty realized that she had never seen so many newsies from so many different parts of the city gathered in front of it. They were all talking noisily, pushing, shoving, with no one to organize them. Apparently their leaders must have been in a meeting. _

"_Whatta ya think---?" _

"_Take Anthony home, I'm gonna go find out" Race said, touching her shoulder gently as a goodbye, before walking up the steps and into the Lodging House. Lefty pouted, feeling slightly deserted as she looked about her, eyeing the growing crowd. There were no girls among them, just a bunch of grimy boys gathered together from various parts of New York. Lefty didn't care any more what why they were all there. All she wanted was to rest, and maybe have some black coffee. _

_She hoisted Anthony up higher onto her hip and began to walk off towards Tibby's, but as she did she felt a hand grab her arm. She spun around to see Asia, one hand held over her mouth, as if she didn't dare to breathe the fresh air._

"_Asia, what---"_

"_Come on" she whispered, looking around anxiously. Lefty opened her mouth to object by Asia covered it with her hand, and pulled her roughly across the street and into the Girls' Lodging House._

_Ringelts, Cray, and Taylor were all sitting in the common room silently when Lefty and Asia walked in, although the noise coming from the bunkroom upstairs was deafening._

"_I locked it" Taylor said to Lefty, jerking her head towards the door on the floor above. _

"_What's goin on?" Lefty asked as Ringlets look Anthony out of her arms. Taylor sighed. _

"_We aren't sure yet" she said, "it's been a mob scene out deah for hours." She moved over on the tattered couch so Lefty could sit._

"_What's dis window doing open?" Asia shrieked and rushed over to the window on the opposite side of the room and slamming it shut._

"_What's wrong wid you?" Lefty asked, anticipating a headache. _

"_We're all gonna die" Asia said gravely._

"_Shut up Asia, don't be so ovah dramatic. No one's going ta die." Taylor reprimanded. _

"_Be quiet both of you. Poor Lefty...you look pale, is everything alright?" Ringelts asked, rocking Anthony to sleep._

"_No, nothings wrong" Lefty answered quickly, "I just wanna know what da hell is going on!" There was a short silence; Lefty's raised voice has sounded genuinely irritated. It was a tone she had not used since she'd stopped living with the other girls. Being around them brought out her old temper._

"_It started a few hours ago" Cray said at last. The others had forgotten that she was in the room. _

"_What did?" Lefty asked. Cray glanced out towards the window facing Duane Street._

"_Dat group of boys outside. Foist it was only two or three. I was ovah deah wid Blink an Mush when two guys came in, wanting ta tawk ta Jack. Den moah a dem started ta show up. A few from Harlem, East Side, Midtown. All wanting ta tawk dis Cowboy." _

"_What did dey want ta tawk about?" Lefty asked. Cray grinned._

"_Mush, Blink an me tried ta listen at da door, but we couldn't really heah much. Pretty soon we look outside an dere's a huge group a dem, newsies from all ovah, banging on da door. Dey had dey're leaders an everything"_

"_Did dey all come in?" Cray shook her head. _

"_Couldn't all fit, an besides Kloppman wouldn't let 'em in" she paused and twisted one of her red curls around her finger, "Den Spot came, an a'course Jack let him in" _

"_She came wid dat funny little blonde goil, right?" Ringelts interjected. Cray started at her coldly._

"_Yeah. Anyways, dey tawked for a long time, jus da tree a dem. When dey came out Twitch left--"_

"_Is dat her name?" Ringelts asked, "da liddle goil?" Cray found it highly amusing and ironic that Julienne was being referred to as a 'little girl', but she nodded. _

"_So, did Spot tell you what dey'd been tawkin about?" Lefty asked. Cray shrugged._

"_Small group a newsies in West Harlem got a few new members a liddle while ago. We thought dey were from Poland, but dey weren't. Dey were Russian." Asia threw a suggestive glace at the other girls. _

"_Asia, dey're younger den Les" Taylor pointed out. _

"_Yeah, an don't you have a boyfriend?" Lefty asked, smirking. _

"_Oh yeah" Asia mumbled, playing with the hem of her dress. _

"_Anyways, rememba da few weeks ago we sold dat edition about da immigrant boat weah every passenger got sick?" Cray asked. Lefty nodded._

"_Dey were on dat boat" Lefty frowned._

"_So, does dat mean---"_

"_Dey were sick too. Didn't know it when dey came ta da West Harlem Lodging House. Benny, dey're leada, he said dey seemed poifectly healthy, not a scratch on dem. Dey sold for a week and den started getting real sick."_

"_How sick?" Lefty asked warily._

"_Spot said too sick ta get outta bed, to eat, to even tawk" _

"_Can you believe dey were too sick ta tawk?" Asia put in. Taylor rolled her eyes._

"_So, what happened? What did dey have?" Lefty asked. _

"_Dunno" Cray said finally, sitting back in her chair. "Dat's da problem." _

"_Two a Benny's newsies got sick too" Taylor said, "den one a da Russians died" Ringelts whimpered._

"_Isn't dat sad? An now dey don't even have a doctah ta find out what's wrong wid da othah sick boys" _

"_Why don't you go ovah an play nurse Ringlets, I bet dey'd love dat" Asia sneered, earning a smack from Taylor._

"_No ones goin ovah deah. Dat's why everyone's ovah heah. It's as far away from West Harlem as you can get without crossing da Bridge," Taylor said, " an besides, dey need Jack to decide what do you" she added with a faint air of pride. _

"_An it ain't like any doctah's gonna go into da West Harlem slums and examine dem" Cray said. _

_Lefty sighed heavily. She had just about had it. too much for one day, she decided. Best to go home, curl up in bed, and wait until tomorrow to find out if the problem had fixed itself or not. _


	33. Chapter XXXIII

_Hey guys--are you still alive? I'm so sorry I haven't updated in FOREVER, but school keeps me so busy, and I've been doing so much other stuff that I honestly had no time. But that is still no excuse for leaving you all hanging for so long! I know how torturous it is to wait for an update that never seems to come (I checked faithfully everyday for two whole years waiting for an update, in my earlier newsie-years), and I cannot express how much I value my readers---you are my life! A writer cannot survive without her loyal readers, and I would send you each a thousand roses for your devotion to me, my story, and my characters! Ti amo piu di qualche cosa, as Race might say (I love you more than anything). And I do! Keep reading, keep reviewing, and keep loving!_

_A thousand kisses to you allLefty_

_Taylor didn't let any of them leave the Lodging House all night, insisting they wait up for news from across the street. She sat faithfully in a chair by the window, gazing out to the Boys' Lodging House, waiting for someone to emerge from within. The other girls had tried to wait up with her, knowing that their boys were gathered inside that Lodging House, debating what to do about something that was so beyond their power to solve. But Ringelts fell asleep fast with Anthony in her arms, then Asia, sprawled luxuriously across the couch. Lefty clung to the hope that Race might sneak out and rescue her from the stale air and cramped space of the Girls' Lodging House common room, that he would burst through the door, pick her up, and carry her all the way home to their apartment. But he didn't come, and as the last candles burned down Lefty's eyes drooped, and she fell prey to sleep, just like the other girls. Cray was the last to go; she wasn't tired in the least, but she knew that time would go by faster if she past it in sleep._

_It wasn't until around seven o'clock the next morning that the Boys' Lodging House showed any signs of life. That life came in the form of Mush, wrapped up a thick blanket, trudging across the street. Taylor, who hadn't let sleep claim her, saw him first and immediately opened the door to let him in. Cray awoke at the sound of the door slamming shut, and scuttled over to where Mush and Taylor stood whispering. _

"_So, what's gonna happen?" she asked, looking at Mush. Judging by the puffy, dark circles under his eyes, he hadn't gotten any sleep either. _

"_Cray go back to sleep" Taylor ordered. _

"_Nah, it's ok" Mush told her, "we might need her". Cray raised and eyebrow and Taylor looked at her, suspiciously. _

"_We tawked about it for hours befoah we did anyting" Mush began and Taylor drew up a chair for him to sit in, "Benny jus said dat one a da Russians died, and da rest of 'em where all sick, and dey'd gotten some a his boys sick too."_

"_You should have sent for me!" Taylor stressed, "did you find out what da symptoms were?" Mush nodded.  
"Yeah, Jack kept askin Benny dat," Taylor smiled proudly, "but da guy was so scared and angry it took a few hours before he could really tawk to us seriously. But we got some information out a him, an Jack decided someone had ta go find out about da disease" _

"_And why didn't you come ask me!" Taylor asked angrily. _

"_I dunno Taylah, by dis time it was almost dinnah, and you'd only----" Mush stopped when he saw Taylor's face. _

"_Anyways, we looked in all da old papes ta see if dere was any articles about the Russian immies gettin sick, and dere was one about a bunch a Eastern European's gettin sick on a boat comin ovah, and dey all had cholera" Taylor gasped---everyone knew about cholera, it was the most popular immigrant disease. _

"_So what are we gonna do?" Cray asked, still wondered why Mush had said she might be of use._

"_We still didn't know what ta give people wid cholera Cray, so Jack decided someone had ta go ta da hospital an get some information about it" A smile tugged at the corners of Mush's mouth._

"_So Jack put on dat old scabba suit a his and Race shined his shoes and combed his haih, and both a dem along wid Benny went down ta Midtown, ta da hospital" Cray couldn't help but laugh at the thought of Jack and Race pestering the nurses with their greased hair and "refined" accents. _

"_Well dat wasn't a very good idea," Taylor tisked, "It's not like they're just handing out the herbs and medicine that helps subside cholera" _

"_Yeah Taylor, we realized dat, but dey came back and said dat a nurse told him da hospital used Irish herbs to help cholera patient, but dat dey didn't sell it to da general public" Taylor sighed. _

"_And no doctah's gonna go ovah and see dem" she said in despair. Mush tugged at her long braid. _

"_Wait a second Taylah, ya haven't hoid da last bit of da plan!" Cray grinned._

"_Does it have me in it?" she asked. _

"_Yeah kid, dat's why it's da best paht" he said with false bashfulness._

"_We send someone into da Irish Quarter ta get some a dose herbs" Mush explained. _

"_Mush, dat's ridiculous, it ain't like dose Irishmen are just sittin around on da fire escapes chopping up de herbs dat help cholera!" _

"_Jack said da nurse told him dey were just plain cooking herbs dat de Irish bring from home. So we figure all we have ta do is wandah ovah ta da Irish Quartah an pick some up!" Mush crossed his arms over his chest, looking quite pleased. _

"_And these herbs will cure da kids?" Taylor mocked, looking as skeptic as she ever had. _

"_Jack said dey'll help at lease, bring da fevers down, give 'em a chance." Mush answered, not letting the tall girl burst his bubble, "an plus we'll have West Harlem on our side for da rest of time" Cray leaned forward in her chair. _

"_An weah, again, do I fit into dis plan?" Mush grinned. _

"_Oh yeah...da best paht" he said, eyes twinkling, "you're da one dat's gonna get de herbs for us" _

"_Me?" Why?" Cray asked. _

"_Yes, why her? I would have thought someone a little more responsible would have been chosen to go." Taylor said, sounding slightly put-off._

"_Don't worry Taylah, Jack did suggest dat you should go," Mush assured her, "but Cray's got da red haih ya know? Green eyes, white skin. She'll fit in da best. An you know what does Irish are like. Always spoilin for a fight--wid anybody. Dat's why Race didn't jump up ta volunteer" Taylor sighed and Cray shrugged. _

"_A'right." Cray said after a few moments, "I'll go--but I don't wanna go alone" she added quietly. Normally she wouldn't have minded running an errand in an unexplored part of the city, but she had heard stories about the Irish Quarters, and didn't want to become the target of any unwanted affection. She began to form in her mind a lovely picture of Spot guarding her through the crowded streets of the Irish Quarter, fighting off any one who threatened her. _

"_Don't wanna go weah alone?" asked a light voice from the back of the room. All three heads turned to see Lefty rising from where she had been sleeping in a chair. _

"_Irish Quarters" Cray said as she yawned. _

"_Why are you----" _

"_You're goin too Mrs. Higgins" Mush told her. _

"_What? No she isn't!" Taylor screeched, "I won't have two of my girls wandering those dirty Irish streets alone!" she had always been wary of the large immigrant groups of the city. It bothered her that she couldn't understand what they were saying, and she was always grumbling about obscenely dirty they were. 'Da newsies are sterile compared to dem' she would say. _

"_Yeah, what'll happen if we get...attacked?" Cray cried, "we're helpless!" she pouted, holding on to the chance that Spot might go with her. _

"_You'll be fine, Twitch's dere already, she'll keep an eye out for ya" Mush explained calmly. Cray's cheeks flushed. _

"_Why can't Spot go!" she whined, sounding like a spoiled child who wasn't getting the toy they wanted. _

"_Yes, why can't one a da boys go?" Taylor asked firmly, sounding much older than just nineteen. _

"_Well, foist of all Cray, Spot's not even heah, he's back in Brooklyn. Second of all, Jack an Blink are stayin heah ta keep tings unda control wid all da boys in da Lodgin House, Race can't go on account a he's Italian, an me an da rest a da boys are in charge of making sure all a you goils are alright" he declared, with a mixture of pride and excitement. _

"_As if I need your help to run my Lodging House!" Taylor yelled, waking up Anthony, who woke up Ringlets, who had fallen asleep with him in her lap. _

"_Cray, what's going on?" Lefty shouted over the sounds of her son's cries, Taylor and Mush's arguing, and Asia and Ringlets' confused hollers. Cray rolled her eyes and grabbed her hat. _

"_C'mon, I'll explain it ta you on da way" _


	34. Chapter XXXIV

_It had taken Lefty and Cray another hour to get out of the Girls' Lodging House. Taylor argued with Mush relentlessly, and then stalked over to the Boys' Lodging House to convince Jack to give her girls a male chaperone. But in the end no one would agree to her terms, although Cray and Lefty did set off for the Irish Quarters in the company of a very good-looking boy: Anthony. Ringlets worried that he might get sick staying anywhere near the Boys' Lodging House, where some of the West Harlem boys had been clustering through the night. Race was sent to Brooklyn by Jack to trade information with Spot at the barracks, and Lefty's maternal instinct told her not to leave her son in the hands of a group of moody, tired girls. So Cray held the list of herbs Jack had given her, and Lefty held Anthony, as the two of them set off for the Irish Quarters. _

_It was close to midday when the three of them found Irish territory of the city. It was part of the large areas of slums that housed most of the cities immigrants, separated by ethnic groups, most of which were Jewish and German. These places were so different from Race's Little Italy, Lefty thought, as she passed slum after slum, holding her sleeve to her nose to block the smell of rotting garbage. Little Italy was hardly one of the posh neighborhoods, but it was like 5th Avenue compared to the extreme poverty of the crowded Jewish and German streets. Children were unclothed, lying the street or begging shamelessly while their gaunt parents prayed in their various languages. Filth was everywhere, screams and profanity heard from every building. _

_The Irish Quarter was no different in it's poverty, although the vendors various outdoor shopkeepers seemed to be a bit more plentiful and organized. The national flag was hung everywhere Cray and Lefty looked, from fire-escapes and front door, pinned to the worn shirts of the hagglers and vagrants. Lefty and Cray walked very close to each other in the very center of the dusty street, careful not to get too near the beggar children crowding the sidewalks, and the merchants pushing their wares on anyone who walked by. Everyone seemed to be watching them; Cray felt as though hundreds of green and blue eyes were on her all at once. She was whistled and catcalled at more than she had ever been in at the Home of the White Rose. Twice her behind was grabbed by unseen hands, and once a red-faced man tugged at her red curls and called to his friend, "Found a pretty lass to keep us warm tonight!" _

_Lefty attracted less crude attention, for she had neither the red hair nor the ivory skin that symbolized the ideal Irish woman. But the baby in her arms was often peered at curiously, by small children and old women, who seemed to find him a very strange creature. She Lefty held Anthony even tighter, and gave an icy look to anyone to looked at him twice. _

_Both girls were too scared to ask for information about the herbs, and so they went into every shop that looked as if it might sell what they were looking for. After they had visited at least five or six different stores and markets, they came upon a small, aged apothecary with a dark green door. They opened the door and heard the homey sound of a tinkling bell. Cray walked foreword to the counter; it had become her job to ask the first questions. _

"_What can I do for you miss?" a young man said in his heavy accent from behind the register. Cray smiled sweetly. _

"_Please sir, do you happen to sell any of these?" she asked, showing him the piece of papers where Jack's messy handwriting had scribbled down the herbs and roots the nurse had named for him. The man looked at the list seriously, drumming his fingers on the wooden counter. _

"_Cholera, eh?" he said after a while. Cray glanced at Lefty nervously. _

"_We're just trying to be careful" Lefty said steadily, "in case anything happens." The young man laughed. _

"_It's alright, I have what you're looking for," he told them as he fished through his jars and boxes of herbs, "nurses from the hospitals in the middle of the city come here, asking for these roots. Ye should be careful; not many shops 'round here'll sell to the non-Irish." He looked at Cray, then Lefty. _

"_No matter how pretty ye may be" he added, smiling at her. Lefty blushed a bit, which was a bit odd; she had not flushed from a stranger's complement since before she married Race. He turned around again and wrapped their herbs up in a little parcel. _

"_That'll be two dollars" he said, handing Cray the package. Her mouth dropped as she dug into her pockets for money. _

"_I know it's a bit much, but it'll help a great deal more than anything you'll get from a doctor" Lefty and Cray combined their change and dumped it out on the counter. As the young man counted it, Cray slipped the parcel into her pocket, and turned for the door. _

"_I thank you," the young man said. Cray and Lefty smiled at him once more before opening the door._

"_One last thing," he called from the counter, "come here lass" he said to Lefty. She walked over to the counter slowly. _

"_Cover you babe's dark head, the eyes as well," he told her in a low whisper, "'Tis no sight that angers a drunk Irishman more than that of an Italian, no matter how old" Lefty pulled Anthony closer to her chest, and wrapped the blanket around him more tightly. _

"_God be with you" the young man said as Lefty followed Cray out the door. _


	35. Chapter XXXV

"_My goil was in da Irish Quatah?" Race yelled as he opened the door to Tibby's Restaurant. The room was full of Manhattan newsies, discussing the recent events with West Harlem over a large, warm dinner. The sun had just gone down and the cool night air had swept into the restaurant when the door had opened. _

"_Heya Race! I'm fine, thanks, nice ta see you too" Mush said sarcastically, from where he was sitting next to Ringlets and Asia. Lefty was at the large table too, the one they always sat at together, with Jack and Taylor and everyone else. On any given day you could look through the left front window of Tibby's and see that famous group of Manhattan newsies sitting together at that table, eating and talking happily, as they were doing that night._

"_Heya Racetrack" Lefty called, smiling. She hadn't seen him since yesterday afternoon, when they had gone their separate ways in the crowd of guys outside the Boys' Lodging House. She had missed him so much that to others it might have seemed silly or foolish, that she was too attached to him and he to her. But she was. She loved him completely, hopelessly, to the point where she would dream about him disappearing and wake up in the darkness crying his name, tears in her eyes. She told Anthony countless stories about his father while he was at work, saying what everyone else said, that when the little baby grew up he would look just like his papa. She had loved him passionately, feverishly, ever since the day they had met. She loved his voice, his hands, his hair. Her love for him was deep, pure and yet intensely sensual, piercing and almost painful. _

"_Heya Lefty" Race said, any anger that was netted into his tone when he walked into the restaurant washed away by the sight of her, their baby in her thin arms. He hadn't slept in forty-eight hours, when he was in the Boys' Lodging House with Jack and Benny, discussing the West Harlem problem all night and into the morning. He hadn't slept in Brooklyn, where he talked with Spot and his boys for hours and hours. As he had walked back to Manhattan Boots had met him on the street, and when he asked who went with Cray to the Irish Quarters. The thought of Lefty, his little, darling, beautiful Lefty, wandering through the violent, filthy, alcohol-drenched streets of the Irish Quarter made him inconceivably frightened. He knew what those streets were liked, growing up he had heard stories of brave, just Italian men venturing into the lawless streets where the Irish lived in squalor, fighting off scores of the red-haired menaces. He himself had been in those streets, especially after he had run away from home. He had stolen from them and paid the bloody price; he had beaten them at poker and barely left the game table alive. Everyone knew that the Italians liked women, but the Irish, Race would swear, were far worse than his own people. A pair of pretty blue eyes was all they needed see. Race was fully prepared to soak whoever it was that allowed Lefty to be exposed to the immoral scabs that were the Irish._

_But when he sat down next to her and held her in his arms all that was forgotten. He laid a kiss on Anthony's head before raising her face to his, kissing her deeply for a long while. He had hoped she would take Anthony home and rest, but Mush had told him that done of the girls had left the Lodging House all night and into the day. As he held her he felt how tired she was; he knew her body that well. Her breaths were slow and steady, as one who was asleep. She was weak and limp as she leaned against his chest, and he held her tightly. Sometimes he felt he couldn't hold her close enough, tight enough. _

_When they had first begun to go out he had been afraid to hold her as close as he wanted to; her fragile body seemed in danger of breaking in his arms. But now he clung to her as if separation meant certain death, a feeling he had become quite familiar with. He loved her too much to be without her, even for more than an hour. He wished she could know how much it killed him to leave her each morning as he went off to work. He thought about her thought the day, focusing on his favourite of her features, her eyes, her fragrant hair and skin. At night he tried to memorize her, lying awake for hours, watching her sleep, content with the mere sight of her breasts rising and falling as she breathed. Her beauty was infinite, external and internal. His love for her was infinite, a limitless love, a devoted love, a sexual love, an innocent love. _

"_It ain't true Lefty, you weren't really in da Irish Quartah, were you?" he asked her softly. _

"_It is. Me an Cray went togethah." He felt he should chastise her, but he didn't want to. _

"_I didn't want to go" she told him, looking up at him with a grin. He smiled and ran his hand through her smooth hair. _

"_I kept hoping you would come and get me Race, last night" she confessed as she rested against him. He sighed. _

"_I wanted to doll, but no one left da Lodging House las night." He pulled her into his lap and smirked. _

"_Tell ya what kid, tomorrow we'll spend da whole da in bed, makin up fa lost time" _

"_Mmmm" she leaned in and kissed him, blushing happily. _

'

"_How did dey meet?" Cray asked Blink. The two of them were sitting at a small table on the other side of the restaurant, far away and across from the large, loud table of newsies. _

"_Who?" Blink asked, sipping his soda. _

"_Racetrack an Lefty" she answered, nodding her head to where the were sitting cozily across the room. Blink smiled and yawned._

"_Ah, dat is a good question Cray. A good question." He said wisely, tipping back in his chair. Cray laughed and kicked him under the table. _

"_Stop making fun a me, I'm serious." She insisted. He sighed. _

"_Well, I would jus like ta say, befoah I start dis famous tale, dat I am da reason Race an Lefty are togethah." He boasted._

"_Really?" Cray asked amusedly, eyebrows raised._

"_Yep. If it wasn't fa me, you nevah would have gotten ta go to dat lovely weddin a deres'."_

"_So, tell me how you played match maker" Cray demanded. Blink stretched. _

"_Well, it all started a few years ago, only a couple a months befoah you came heah. Racetrack Higgins was not da Racetrack Higgins den dat he is now. He was me best pal, othah den Mush, ya know, a crazy gambler wid a wicked talent fa cahds. But he was really independent, ya know? Always sold his papes alone, went off ta Coney Island alone for most a da day. He went to all da pahties wid us, an everyone loved him, but I tink inside he liked da peace an quiet of doin his own thing. Dat's why none of us evah really believed he's settle down wid a nice goil---he was jus too distant. An wicked sarcastic, cynical too, much, much moah dan he is now. God he was a smartass" Blink remembered. _

"_So what made him change like dat?" Cray asked as she motioned for another drink to be sent her way. _

"_Hold on, I'm getting deah." Blink told her, "but foist let's talk about me." _

"_Oh yes," Cray said, "Let's."_

"_When I was a strapping young lad of almost sixteen I saw da most beautiful goil I had evah seen. I saw her walkin down da street in a pair of baggy blue pants and suspenders, wid a stack a papes undah her arm an a little smudge a doit on her face. I didn't really know da newsgoils very well, 'cept Taylah a'course, cuz she kept dem all on such a tight leash. But I decided dat nothin would prevent me from meeting dis gorgeous goil. So da next day I combed my haih an washed my face an waited in Tibby's for her all day, hoping dat she would come in. An she did! So I woiked up da nerve ta tawk ta her, an she was very smart an funny an sweet, just as I had imagined she would be. When I asked her what her name was, she said----"_

"_Lefty?" Cray guessed. Blink frowned. _

"_Aw Cray, why'd ya hafta go an ruin da surprise?" he grinned an she laughed. "So anyways, a 'course she was Lefty, an befoah I knew it I had asked her to go on a date wid me. An she said yes! I was going ta take her down ta Coney Island to dat place right on da beach, ya know dat real nice place? Dat's weah I was going ta take my beautiful date."_

"_Did Race know about your date?" Cray asked._

"_Nah, Mush an I nevah really told him about our dates, mainly because we knew he didn't really care. But when I came ta pick her up dat aftanoon at da Goils' Lodging House, I remembered dat I needed ta tawk ta Mush about some meeting we were goin ta have or somethin. I tink I also wanted ta show off my pretty date in front a him." _

"_You think?" Cray asked. _

"_So I went down ta da tracks wid Lefty, chatting her up all da way wid my wit an charm, until we got deah. We went inta weah Mush said he would meet me, out in da sunshine neah da track. An low an behold, who should be standin dere wid him, but Race! Cigarette in one hand, some money he'd jus won jingling in his pocket." Cray leaned foreword in her seat anxiously. _

"_An den?" Blink frowned._

"_An den I made da biggest mistake a my life. I said, Heya Mush, heya Race." Blink sat, hands gesturing as though he was really meeting them. _

"_An dis was ya biggest mistake?" _

"_Yep. Cuz Race raised dose brown eyes ta greet me, but instead dey fell on Lefty. God I'll nevah forget da expression on his face. Nevah. Nevah in my entire life had I seen him look dat way." _

"_What way?" Cray asked quietly. _

"_Ya know dat look he gets when he sees Lefty across da room, I can't explain it, its like--"_

"_Yeah, I know what look ya tawkin about." Cray said. They sat in silence for a moment._

"_Anyways, dat's da look he had on his face da foist time he saw Lefty. An I turned ta look at her, where she was standing, right next to me. She had da most perfect liddle smile on her face. Absolutely beautiful. Jus a liddle, happy, sweet, innocent smile. Dat's when I knew I'd nevah have a chance wid her. Dat's when I knew we'd nevah have a second date." Blink took a long drink and set the empty glass down on the table, looking slightly defeated. Cray decided to venture a question._

"_So, den what happened?" Blink sighed. _

"_I didn't even get a chance ta introduce dem! Lefty jus walked foreword an said, 'I'm Lefty.' An Race looked down at her, smiling, I actually tink he'd forgotten his own name. An Mush looked at me wid a stupid grin. He thought it was da funniest ting in da woild dat Race had managed ta steal my date widout sayin a woid." Blink had a look of bitter amusement on his face that didn't suit him at all. _

"_An from dat day on Cray, dey were inseparable. Suddenly Race was happy all da time, dancing around da Lodgin House, humming, singing even. He'd be out every night, I don't know weah he was takin her; it wasn't like he had any money. But woid got around an soon everyone knew about dem. An no one could believe it! One a da most beautiful goils in da City, goin out wid Racetrack Higgins, dat skinny, smartass Italian. Even Jack couldn't believe it. He jus laughed an laughed when Mush told him." _

"_So I guess dat whole 'love at foist sight' thing really is true" Cray mused, smiling. Blink shrugged. _

"_I dunno. Race had nevah seen her befoah dat day, so maybe he was just in awe of how pretty she was. But dat smile on her face...maybe it was love" Blink twisted his hat around him his lap. _

"_Were you angry at Race, did he really steal her?" Cray asked. _

"_Nah, he didn't even realize I was interested in her. We ended up staying at da tracks da whole day, an dey jus tawked an tawked. I left early wid Mush, an he walked her home. She forgot about me, an we became friends. Jus friends." Cray felt sorry she had asked for his account of the story. It would have been better, and more amusing, to ask Mush. _

"_Aw Blink, I'm sorry. But you've got Asia, an you love her, don't you?" Cray asked. She knew Blink loved Asia, she was sure of it. In her mind she compared Asia and Lefty. True, Lefty was more naturally beautiful than Asia, and she was slower to anger and kinder overall. But Asia was much sexier than Lefty, with a more voluptuous body, and her deep, beckoning brown eyes. Still, she couldn't tell which one Blink would be better off with. Lefty was easy to love, while Asia was a challenge. Blink and Asia had always been a bit of an odd couple to her, while she couldn't imagine Race with anyone other than Lefty._

"_Don't tell either of them I tawked ta you about dis Cray" Blink told her. _

"_I won't." Cray promised. He sighed and put a few dimes on the table, before grabbing his hat, giving her a brief, forced smile, and leaving the restaurant. She stared at the floor, feeling both sad and guilty. Blink was happy being with Asia, she was sure of it. But somehow she felt that his initial feelings for Lefty hadn't completely faded away, and she felt sorry for opening such an old wound. _

_Cray glanced over to the table where Race and Lefty were sitting, watching Race bouncing Anthony on his lap. Mush and Ringlets were getting up to leave, hand in hand. She sighed, a strange feeling of misplacement coming over her, a quick feeling of not-belonging. It rarely ever happened to her, even back when she had just arrived at the Girls' Lodging House. But now she felt old, worn, not wise but weathered, as though she was an old woman watching a group of children play in the park. The newsies sitting and talking around her weren't rich, well-educated or nicely-clothed. They had their problems with money and relationships, but overall their lives were easy, Cray suddenly realized, almost simple. There was so much good outweighing the bad in their world, so much love and happiness. Cray had watched her mother's murder at the age of seven. She had sold her body to survive since the age of twelve, and she was born among the lowest members of society. Within the short years of her like she had known such misery, such anger and depression, more so she felt than any of the people in the room with her. How had they managed to gain such a security in their lives she could not fathom, and yet she was not jealous but bemused. What secret did they all share? What did they know about living that she didn't? Had she come into their circle to late to ever fully attain their universal happiness? All this Cray pondered as she crossed the dark and empty street towards Brooklyn, where she knew Spot would be, sitting up awake, talking to the Birds about God-knows-what. Of course she would not share her thoughts with him; their relationship was not that of long, meaningful talks. But perhaps he would sense the restlessness within her, as he sometimes did, and safely and closely as he so infrequently did, and she could catch a moment of the bliss she so passionately desired. _


	36. Chapter XXXVI

_Four Years Later_

_Taylor pulled the thin gold pin out of her hat and pulled it off. She pressed the back of her hand against her forehead, wiping the sweat off. She couldn't remember the last time New York had had such a hot September. The summer had been reasonably mild, but towards the end of August and the beginning of September, when the leaves were supposed to begin t o change color and the air expected to get crisper, the sun bore down on the city, and there wasn't a drop of rain for weeks. The mayor had just issued the water-limit for the city, which led Taylor to insist that the girls shower every other day, a minute and a half at the most. She sighed happily and tapped her hat against her long, thin skirt. Times were good, despite the heat and water limit. She held the hat pin up and let the sunlight catch its little gold design. Two pearls embellished the very tip, so that when you inserted it into the hat, the pearls were fashionably visible. The pin was a gift from Jack for their first wedding anniversary, which had been that February. She had thought he'd forgotten it, she was sure he would, but then at the end of the day as she sat at her desk in the Girls' Lodging House Pepper, one of newer girls, came up to her with a little letter and a box. 'I told you I wouldn't forget', the letter said. _

_Taylor smiled at the memory. Married life suited her. She and Jack still ran the Lodging Houses, although neither of them ever really sold. Kloppman had died two springs ago, and left the old building on Duane Street to Jack, who became the reluctant owner. Taylor knew that becoming the next Kloppman was not what Jack wanted to do with his life, but he was too old to stay a newsie and couldn't imagine himself shut away in an office for the rest of his life. So Jack stayed on being the leader of the Manhattan newsies, but in a different way. The boys loved him like an older brother, and when things got rough with territory and such he was the one who took care of business. _

_Taylor's position as leader of the Manhattan Newsgirls hadn't changed. When Kloppman died Jack got the keys to all of the doors in the Boys' Lodging House, many of which had been locked for years. The extra rooms were filled with old furniture, much of which was sold, the money used for repairing and repainting. Since neither Taylor nor Jack could move out of their lodging houses, they ingeniously merged the two, using the extra rooms as new bunkrooms for the girls. The idea was met with some opposition, but once the newsgirls realized that they would no longer have to sneak out into the middle of the night to run across the street and see their boyfriends, things seemed to settle down. Jack and Taylor transformed the attic into a small (but very neat) flat of their own. Except for the occasional bicker or complaints by Taylor that the boys were too messy, things ran like clockwork._

"_Extry, extry! Mayah extends watah limit fa tree moah weeks!" Taylor jumped out of her thoughts at the sound of the newsies shrill cries. She looked across the park to see Lucky, one of Jack's younger boys, hawking the afternoon edition. Taylor sat down on a bench and tilted her head back, hoping that the hot sun would bring out the freckles she had when she was a teenager. Jack had told her on their first date that he thought her freckles were cute. She had spent hours that night peering at them in the washroom mirror by candlelight. Now, at just twenty-two, she looked like a woman, not a seventeen-year-old who desperately wanted to grow up and look mature. She was still strict and motherly with her girls, but now Taylor no longer gritted her teeth and rolled her eyes when they screamed or fought over petty things. She would just shake her head and smile, and let them enjoy being young and silly. Now she didn't want them to grow up quite so fast._

_Taylor reached into her little blue purse and pulled looked at her watch. 1:30. Ringlets' wedding was at six-thirty, and Taylor had to be at the church by two to help set everything up. She stretched once more and stood up, wondering if it would be a good idea to place fans in every pew. _

'

"_I just though dat baby's breath an lilacs would be bettah dan roses Asia, prettier, I mean" Ringlets explained cheerily, showing the boxes of flowers to the disapproving Asia. _

"_Ringlets," Asia said sternly, "you told me I could do da flowers. You wanted me ta help wid ya wedding, an I said I didn't wanna. You begged me ta help you, an I finally said yes. I ordered five bouquets of red roses—wid my own money—from does guys at da flower shop in Midtown, an----" _

"_I know ya did sweetie, but I jus wanted ta check what you ordered! So I went down dere yestiday and dey told it was red roses, and well, I jus thought I'd---"_

"_Change it!" Asia snarled. "Can I not do anything right?" _

"_Girls!" Taylor yelled, her voice echoing throughout the empty church. Asia and Ringlets stood in the aisle among boxes of ribbons and flowers, and both their heads turned to the door when they heard Taylor's voice. _

"_Taylah!" Ringlets squealed, gently pushing Asia out of the way to run into Taylor's arms, "I'm so glad ya heah! We were just talking about da flowers--"_

"_Yeah, jus talking" Asia chiming in heatedly. Taylor shook her head. A fight with Asia could easily ruin anyone's day, but not Ringlets, and especially not today, her wedding day. The day she had been wishing, hoping, and planning for all her life had finally come. She had booked the big Catholic Church the moment Mush proposed. "I don't even think he got da ring on her fingah" Asia had said. For months she had been planning and planning, making sure everything was just right. Ringlets had been making her wedding dress for years, she confessed to the girls late one night at Tibby's, so most of the sewing work was done on the bridesmaid dresses. _

"_I thought we were having roses" Taylor said, setting down the large hat box she had carried in with her. Inside it had her best dress and her wedding gift for Ringlets. _

"_I thought so too" Asia said, walking over to them. _

"_Well never mind" said Ringlets cheerfully, "We can have roses at your wedding, Asia!" Asia rolled her eyes and fanned herself with her hand. The stained glass windows did not open, and the inside of the church was baking. _

"_So what's dere ta do?" Taylor asked, tying up her hair in a bun. Ringlets looked around happily. _

"_Not much heah, jus da flowers, really. I've been heah since five---"_

"_In da morning?" Taylor asked shrilly, although she wouldn't put it past Ringlets, "I thought I heard da front door open dis morning." Ringlets was the only one of the girls who stilled lived at the Lodging House. She slept in her own, old bunk, and helped Taylor manage all of the girls. It was a comfort to have her there, and the younger girls loved her dearly. Taylor got depressed every time she though of Ringlets leaving. It was that same, sinking feeling she had when the other girls had moved out. Now Ringlets was the last to leave her. _

"_Well, you want da flowers tied to da end of every pew, right Ringlets?" Taylor asked. The curly-top nodded. _

"_Mmmhmm, wid da lavender ribbon" she said, pointing to the ribbon box that lay in the aisle. _

"_A 'right, let's started den. But where is---" _

"_Heah I am!" a voice said as the large front doors of the church opened. Lefty walked in, bringing with her a fresh gust of hot air. She too carried a large box, in which was the bridesmaid dress she would change into later. _

"_It's about time" Asia said as Ringlets skipped over to Lefty. _

"_Happy wedding day" Lefty said, kissing Ringlets on the cheek and taking her hands in hers, "I bet you've been heah since da break of dawn…how are you feeling?" _

"_Mmmmmm" Ringlets answered, twirling around dreamily. _

"_Lefty, I thought you can Cray were coming together" Taylor said as she began cutting lengths of lavender ribbon. _

"_She'll be here a little later" Lefty said in the soft voice she used when delicate topics were discussed, "she's in Brooklyn." The girls looked around at each other knowingly, worriedly. Cray and Spot had been fighting almost nonstop for weeks, ever since Ringlets and Mush's engagement party. Everyone had appealed to Cray to make the fights less public, or at least not to fight around Ringlets, but she didn't listen. She had been generally distant, except from Lefty, who had managed to talk with her sparsely about her relationship with Spot a few times. _

"_I'm sure everything will be fine. She'll be here" Ringlets said firmly. The others agreed by nodding their heads. _

"_Well, who's going ta help me wid da flowers?" Taylor asked, breaking the awkward silence abruptly, "I can't to it all by myself" _

_Lefty sucked in her breath as Asia pulled her corset strings a little tighter. The taller girl's eyes narrowed with envy as she looked at Lefty's tiny waist. Maybe it was giving birth so young that had allowed Lefty to keep her figure, for Asia had never known a mother of a four-year-old child to look so perfect. Asia saw no sign of aging in Lefty at all, and was too proud to ask her. None of them had aged really, least of all Lefty, who at twenty years looked at beautiful as ever. Her hair was that long, rich auburn, her skin smooth flawless. Her famous eyes still sparkled blue, that clear, startling blue. Only two people seemed to notice the change in Lefty, only two noticed her tiredness. Taylor saw it because she noticed all changed in her girls, the girls she regarded as daughters. She knew Lefty was happy, that she had love and gave love and laughed just as much as she used to. But that restless, anxious spirit that Lefty had had as a young girl was missing. Lefty had been uncatchable, always wanting to run and play and do something new. That was gone now, and it killed Taylor to know that her girl had lost that characteristic that made her herself. Taylor didn't know where it had gone or what had replaced it, but someone else did._

_Race didn't acknowledge that his darling Lefty had changed a bit even though he saw it more than anyone else. She was the same in many respects. She made him laugh and giggled at his little jokes. She played with Anthony was as motherly and loving as she could be. She was very sensual and could make his heart stop beating with one look. _

_But sometimes he could see tear stains on her soft cheek went he came home from work. Her little body shook as she cried quietly late at night. It didn't happen often enough for him to worry, but he did worry. He would put his arms around her to try to make her stop shaking, but she wouldn't for a long time. He would dry her eyes and ask her what was wrong, what was making her cry. She would look at him in the darkness, and like a frightened little girl she would say that she didn't know. 'I'm scared,' she would say, and he would kiss her and hold her closer, and tell her there was nothing to be afraid of. Once he checked under the bed like he did for Anthony every night, and told her there were no monsters underneath. She didn't laugh then. She pulled the covers up to her chin and tried to fall asleep. But she could never get back to sleep, even though he knew she pretended. He knew what her breathing sounded like when she slept, and what her face looked like when it was calm in sleep. But in the morning she was back to normal, the faint, dark circles under her eyes the only evidence of the night's events._

_Personally, Lefty tried with all her heart not to dwell on her occasional boughts of unhappiness. They bothered her for only one reason: that she did not know why they came or why she felt so sad when they did. She loved her life and all the people in it, and it pained her to make others worry. So she never tried to talk about them, or to bring them up after they happened. She hoped they would pass with time. _

"_Well, what do ya think?" Taylor asked. Lefty turned to look at Ringlets, who was sitting at a small vanity, getting her hair done. They were all in a small back room at the church getting ready, shoes and hair ribbons littered everywhere, that girlish, innocent smell that always hung around them when they were together in the air. _

"_Perfect" Lefty breathed happily. Ringlets had naturally beautiful hair, and Taylor had put it up with yellow flowers to enhance it. _

"_Now for make-up" Asia said, tying up Lefty's corset quickly. Ringlets' hands flew to her face. _

"_No! No, I don't want any—thank you" she said quaintly. Lefty smiled and walked over to the vanity, hugging the seated Ringlets and gazing into the mirror with her. _

"_She doesn't need any. She's a blushing bride without make-up." Ringlets smiled. _

"_Thank you Lefty. I want to be just like you on your wedding day" _

"_Mmmm" Lefty stood up and twisted a piece of her long hair around her finger. Her wedding day seemed like a very long time ago. _

"_Look who I found hangin around outside" Ringlets, Taylor, Asia and Lefty all turned towards the door, where Cray had just entered, a small boy with the huge brown eyes behind her. _

"_Anthony!" Ringlets cried happily. The little boy grinned and rain not to his aunt, but to his mother. _

"_Mama!" he hoped up onto her lap and planted a kiss on her cheek. _

"_And what are you doing heah my love?" Lefty asked, cuddling her son in her arms. Anthony said nothing but tickled his mother's chin with a purple flower. _

"_The lilacs!" Taylor said._

"_Weah did you get day?" Asia asked him sweetly. _

"_Oh, its a'right—are you excited sweetie?" Ringlets asked, joining the other girls in peering down at Lefty and Anthony. Lefty sighed and kissed Anthony's little head. She was used to this sort of thing, it had started happening the moment Anthony was born. She remembered sitting up in bed, her hair and face still sweaty from labor, the tiny baby boy in her arms, with a roomful of people goggling down at her, beaming proudly. Everyone loved Anthony as a baby, but she thought things would settle down once he got out of his baby-stage. But it didn't. As he got older he began to look more and more like Race, which everyone found hysterically cute. He had Race's brown eyes and brown hair, but it was silky soft like Lefty's. His eyes were big and round like hers as well, and at nearly five he was the most darling child around. _

"_Cray" Lefty called. _

"_Hey!" Cray yelled, attracting the attention of the three other girls. Lefty smiled at her gratefully. Cray and Race had both assumed the task of protecting Lefty and Anthony when ever they felt overwhelmed by ogling friends. Often at Tibby's Cray had to go through extreme measures to extract the attention away from Lefty and Anthony and to herself. She always said, jokingly, that the kid was more popular than Asia at the Bronx Lodging House on a late Saturday night. _

"_Cray, I'm so glad ya finally heah" Ringlets said, leaving Lefty and Anthony to hug the redhead. _

"_I hope I didn't miss anything" Cray remarked, hoping none of the girls would ask where she had been. _

"_Not much, but you'd better hurry and get dressed, cuz da wedding starts in about forty-five minutes" Taylor said. _

"_None a you are dressed" Cray said, which was true, they were all in their chemises and petticoats, "an who's gonna do my hair?" Lefty picked up Anthony and set him down on the floor" _

"_I will" she said, gesturing towards the chair she wanted Cray to sit down in. _

"_Anthony, ya gonna hafta go into another room. Where are all da guys?" Anthony answered his mother by pointing to the door that led outside into the hallway. _

"_C'mon, let's go find papa" she said, taking Anthony by the hand. She walked to the door and reached for the ivory handle, but it twisted on its own without her touching it. The door opened a crack and Race stuck his head in, a cheeky grin on his face. _

"_Hope I'm not disturbing anything" he said, smirking. Taylor and Ringlets shrieked and reached for shawls or spare lace to cover up their underthings, while Asia and Ringlets rolled they eyes and walked behind the changing screen across the room. Lefty smiled and made no attempt to cover herself up, and kissed Race lightly on the lips. _

"_Ya know, I really don't undastand why da guys an da goils hafta be in separate rooms like dis---I tink everyone would have a very good time if we were all together" Taylor gave Race a cold look, which he returned by blowing her a kiss. _

"_I though you were watching Anthony till da wedding" Lefty said. _

"_I though I'd let him explore a liddle" Race said innocently. _

"_Well he certainly had no trouble finding da goils' dressing room" Taylor remarked. Race smiled proudly. _

"_He's got his father's sense of direction" Lefty laughed in her soft way and slid her bare arms through the doorway and around his waist. _

"_You know, you're gonna get me in trouble" she said, her face inches from his. _

"_Oh yeah?" Race responded, "how will you be punished?" _

"_I'll be sent directly home to bed without seeing the wedding at all" Lefty answered. _

"_Ta bed? Hmmm, what time exactly, will you be there?" Lefty giggled and blushed as girlishly as Ringlets, and daringly let Race kiss her longingly until Taylor and Asia cleared their throats loudly. _

"_See ya down da aisle" Race said softly. Lefty kissed him on the nose and he picked up Anthony and left. _

"_Is married life as good as you an Race make it seem to be?" Ringlets asked as Lefty started on Cray's hair. The slight girl thought for a moment. _

"_I think you'll like it Ringlets. I'm sure you will" _


	37. Chapter XXXVII

"_Stop pushing me Asia!" _

_"It was an accident"_

_"Yeah right, just like when you stepped on my foot a second ago"_

_"Shhh!" Taylor hissed, snapped Asia and Cray out of their argument, "it's about to start" _

_The setting sunlight poured through the church windows and a cool breeze finally filled the air. Over a hundred newsies and other friends crowded into pews decorated with lilacs and baby's-breath, faces scrubbed clean and hair combed back. An old minister stood at the alter at the far end of the church, a Bible in his hands. To his left stood Mush in Jack's old suit and tie, beaming from ear to ear with excitement and nervousness. To his right stood Jack and Race, grinning at everyone proudly. Spot stood a little off to the side, looking like a smug business owner who had come to inspect the production of one of his factories. Suddenly the old organ began to play a pretty tune that the bride had selected, and the procession began. Taylor went first, filling the role of the mother-of-the-bride in the pale yellow dress she had worn for Lefty's wedding. She had little pearl pins in her hair, and for the first time in her life little pearl-embroidered gloves covered her worn hands. She had always dreamed of wearing gloves. Gloves were the essence of a true lady. _

_Next came Lefty and Cray in matching lavender bridesmaid dresses. For months they had hunted for perfect material, light and cool for a summer wedding. The dresses were long and flowing, thinly wrapped around the two lovely girls, the short little sleeves fluttering as the walked. Each held a small bouquet of pale lilacs, the same flower that adorned their hair. They reached the end of the aisle and turned to face the congregation, smiling happily at everyone. Lefty took her place next to Race and Cray took hers next to Spot. From the view of the people sitting in the pews, Spot and Cray were as happy a couple as Race and Lefty. _

_The music swelled and Anthony came down the aisle, as cute as a button in a miniature vest and tie. 'Mama, I don't wanna weah it' he had said about the tie, but Lefty and Race had promised him a whole day at the races and ice cream in Little Italy afterwards if he wore it through the wedding without complaining. Placed on Anthony's outstretched hands was a pillow, on which were two rings. He walked down in church aisle a bit unsteadily, and definitely not in a straight line, but when he reached the alter and took his place everyone clapped and laughed. _

_Finally came the Maid of Honor, whom, to everyone's great surprise, was Asia. Ringlets hadn't told the girls who it was going to be till the very last minute. Truthfully it was the one thing that made her most nervous about getting married: being fair to the girls who had been her sisters for so long. But Ringlets, in her kind, sweet heart, knew that Lefty, Cray, and Taylor knew how she felt about them, knew how much she loved them. It was Asia, the wild, unemotional one, who Ringlets feared did not believe her when she shared her buoyant feelings. So Ringlets chose Asia to be her Maid of Honor, and when she told her the tall, dark-haired girl let a tear fall from her eye. Asia, her bouquet clasped between her hands, walked down the aisle in her lavender dress, for once not throwing seductive glances at every guy she saw. Her smile was simple and genuine, and she looked more attractive in that flowing purple dress that evening than any Saturday night in a scarlet slip. _

_Everyone stood up as the organ reached its loudest point. Hats were taken off and smiles spread onto every face as Ringlets began her walk down the aisle. Blink walked beside her, arm in arm, because Race was Mush's best man, and Ringlets had no father to give her away. His hair was slicked back and his patch tied neatly over his eye, a grin on his face. _

_Ringlets smiled most broadly off all, her curvy, bouncy body enveloped in layers of white lace. The countless hours she had spent on her dress showed. It was not delicate as Lefty's dress had been, but fashionable and majestic. Ringlets had managed to accomplish two things she had not intended: to look like one of the rich women who lived on 5th Avenue, and to make every girl in the church wish they had Ringlets' curvaceous body to fill the dress out. She had woven lilacs into the beaded bodice, and into the long veil that covered her pretty round face. When she reached the end of the aisle the congregation released the breath they had been holding, and Blink kissed Ringlets hand. He traded places with Mush, and the newsies watched the first traditional wedding they had ever seen. Ringlets and Mush knelt before the Reverend, who gave the offertory in Latin and then said the traditional vows. Once Ringlets and Mush uttered their 'I-do's', they held their adjoined hands up, and the reverend gently bound them together with a large fabric cross. _

"_Die ies, in Spiritus Sanctus" he said, and made the sign of the cross. Anyone raised Catholic in the church followed suit, including Racetrack Higgins, who closed his eyes for a moment and quickly crossed himself. _

"_I know pronounce you husband and wife. May God bless your union, and bring peace and happiness to your life together. Amen." Silence hung in the air as Ringlets and Mush stared at each other uncertainly. Then the newsies, who had been perfectly quite up until this point, took over the traditional ceremony. _

"_Can he kiss her yet?" Race yelled, to the congregation, not the reverend. The all shouted 'Yes!' and Race nodded to Mush, who lifted Ringlets' thin lace veil and kissed he full on the mouth, making her blush as she always did when he kissed her. _

_Cheers and applause erupted from the pews and echoes throughout the church as everyone stood up and poured into the aisle. Ringlets and Mush could scarcely get through with all the crowding and congratulations everywhere they turned. Everyone followed them out of the church and onto the huge front steps, where rice was thrown at the couple as they hoped into a carriage. _

"_See you at the reception!" Mush cried. The crowd of newsies ran down the steps and gathered around the carriage, the girls looking up expectantly. Ringlets them stood up and turned her back to them, throwing her large lilac bouquet over her shoulder. It landed in the hands of a very bemused Spot, who earned another round of applause as the cheap carriage wheeled off into the city. The crowd began to thin as everyone began making plans for meeting each other at Tibby's for the wedding party. After a while only the old, core group of Manhattan's finest and one outsider were left, sitting together on the steps. Jack, Taylor, Blink, Asia, Race, Lefty, Anthony, Cray, and Spot looked at each other and laughed. _

"_Papa," Anthony said after a while, pulling at his little tie, "how come I didn't get ta go ta you an Mama's wedding?" Jack laughed and Spot leaned back as though he were about to watch an amusing show. _

"_You can take dis one, darling" Lefty said to Race, resting her head on Cray's shoulder. Race frowned for a moment before picking Anthony up and swinging him around. _

"_I bet you'd like ta get rid a dat tie, hm?" he asked his son. Anthony took Race's blue cabbie hat off his head and placed it on his own. _

"_Mmmhmm, ok" he said. Race smirked down at Lefty with an 'I-certainly-took-care-of-that-one' look on his face. _

"_I think we'll see you all at Tibby's" Lefty said to Cray, standing up. _

"_Why can't we all go together?" Asia asked. Lefty bent down and kissed her on the cheek. _

"_Save me some cake, a'right?" she smiled and blew the group a kiss, which they all returned, before taking hold of Anthony's little hand with her left hand and Race's hand with her right. The rest of the group watched as the Higgins family walked away, heading vaguely in the direction of Little Italy. _


	38. Chapter XXXVIII

"_Praduc—prooduct—"_

_"Production" _

_"Production…on the Pa-na-ma Caynal--"_

_"Canal" _

_"Canal, has innnnn…sreez-ed?"_

_"Increased. Production on the Panama Canal has increased. Very good darling!" Lefty pulled Anthony into her lap and gave him a snuggly kiss. The two of them were sitting on the kitchen floor with the morning edition of _The World_spread out in front of them. It was a cool October morning; the air outside the apartment had a spicy bite to it, while the air inside was warm, the scent of the strong coffee Race had made that morning still lingering in the air. Lefty's cup was half-full on the floor next to her. _

_The Higgins' kitchen floor was a very important place. It was where Anthony had taken his first steps, almost four years ago one night after dinner. It was where Anthony would sit and play with his toys while Lefty cooked and he waited for his papa to come home from work. In the coldest winter mornings Race or Lefty, usually Race, would turn on the old black stove and open its little door to let the heat out into the room. If you crouched down on the floor next to the stove you could warm your hands and face. Because the kitchen and living room were one room in the Higgins' flat, the kitchen floor eventually became the living room floor, and it had a simple blue rug covering it. The rug was soft and warm, and when he was a baby Anthony would fall asleep on the rug more easily than anywhere else in the small flat. On any given night you could walk into the Higgins' flat and find the small kitchen deserted the plates still on the table. The family would be assembled in the living room, Race playing cards and smoking on the small fainting couch that served as their sofa, Lefty and Anthony sitting together on the floor, playing. _

_Mornings had become a routine. When Racetrack and Lefty were newsies every morning was the same. They got up at the same time every day, got dressed, and sold for hours. After Lefty and Race got married, a sense of irregularity and spontaneity set in, for Lefty at least. Some mornings she would get up to have breakfast with him and kiss him good-bye, some mornings she would stay asleep in bed. She would mosey around Manhattan for a while, visiting people who wanted to see her, running errands, even selling every once in a while. When Anthony was a baby both Race and Lefty found their lives completely unpredictable. They were up at all hours and slept whenever they could find a spare moment, which was rare. But now Anthony was almost-five, and every morning he would wake up first, as young children, especially boys, are keen to do._

_This particular morning Anthony had run into his parents' room at exactly 5:57 a.m. He pulled himself up onto the bed and stood up; walking over his mother's sleeping body to where Race lay. _

"_Papa, Papa, wake up!" Anthony said, his straight brown hair falling into his dark eyes. Race woke up but did not open his eyes, feigning sleep for a few more moments before opening his eyes wide and crying "Gotchya" to a giggling Anthony. _

"_Ya didn't wake Mama up foist?" Race asked Anthony teasingly. Both of them looked over at Lefty, who breathed softly and peacefully. Race and Anthony looked at each other and then back at Lefty. _

"_On da count a three" Race whispered, "one, two--" _

"_Mama Mama it's time to wake up!" Anthony squeaked, bouncing on the bed a little. Lefty made a sleepy little moan and stretched her arms above her head, opening her clear blue eyes. _

"_Good morning" Race and Anthony said together, both of them peering down at her with their matching eyes. _

"_Mmmmm" was Lefty's response. 'Mmmmmm' was Lefty's response to anything that pleased her. _

_Every morning after breakfast was done and Race was gone ("Papa, stay and play wid Mummy an me, jus dis once" Anthony would say), Lefty would send Anthony out for a paper. Then she would sit on the warm floor with him, spreading the paper out in front of them both, pointing at the words or sentences she wanted him to read. It wasn't the most scholarly lesson in the world, but Anthony learned quickly and happily. _

"_He'll be old enough fa school soon" Taylor often said. But Lefty would shake her head and hold Anthony close the way a little girl holds her favorite doll. _

"_No, he's much too young fa dat" she would say, "Anthony, you aren't ready ta go off ta school yet, are you?" Anthony would shake his head and hug his mother tightly. Lefty and Anthony were best friends, often inseparable. Lefty couldn't imagine what she would do with herself if she couldn't spend her morning and early afternoon hours childishly playing with her little boy. _

"_How many words are in dis sentence?" Lefty asked, pointing to a rather long headline about women's rights. Math was actually Race's job; he would sit on the floor with Anthony at night and teach him numbers with his card deck. Lefty always insisted, rather lavishly, that "I simply have no head for numbers". _

"_One, two, tree, fowah, five, six, eight"_

"_Seven, eight" Lefty corrected. Anthony yawned a bit and crawled out of his mother's lap. _

"_Can we go for our walk now?" he asked politely, tugging on the sleeve of Lefty's dark red dress._

"_Yes Anthony" she answered, smiling as she picked him up and twirled him around the room in her arms. _

_It was cold as they walked along the street, hand-in-hand. Anthony had rolled up the newspaper from home and was now using it as a telescope to peer up at people. Both Lefty and Anthony were very popular by now in their small section of Manhattan; small children playing on the steps of their tenements knew Anthony, and they mothers smiled at Lefty. However no-one in the Higgins family had become overly friendly with their neighbors, preferring to stick to the familiar faces of the newsies as their closest friends and confidants. _

_As they got closer to Duane Street they were stopped more often. Newsies and newsgirls of course were everywhere, and many of them waved or tried to stop and talk to Lefty. She would give a brief hello or inquiry before moving on her way. As they walked along, a gust of cold wind came along and swept Anthony's little dark blue cap right off his head. Before Anthony could let go of his mother's hand to chase it, it was caught mid-air by Mush, who was just walking down the steps of his apartment building. _

"_Anthony," he said, grinning, as he walked over to them, "you really shouldn't let ya mama knock ya hat off ya head like dat" Anthony giggled and grabbed the cap, stuffing it back on his smooth brown hair. _

"_Auntie Ringlets!" Anthony cried, running at Ringlets, who had just come out of the building. Lefty and Mush looked on, smiling. Ringlets adored Anthony, and spoiled him beyond belief. _

"_Well, dere goes my day" Mush said to Lefty. _

"_Two bucks she asks to spend da day wid him" Lefty said. _

"_You've been livin wid Race too long." Mush replied. Ringlets came down the steps, carrying Anthony, who was looking quite smothered. _

"_Heya Lefty, how's it rollin?" she asked breathlessly, her curls bouncing. Married life suited her so perfectly it was almost unbelievable. Nothing made Ringlets happier than to take care of someone else, and with Mush she got everything: someone to make fuss over her as much as she fussed over him. _

"_Oh I wish I could play wid you today Anthony, but Uncle Mush and me have ta go ta da doctah" the two exchanged a knowing, blushing glance. Lefty smiled as Ringlets set Anthony down._

"_Well you two have a nice day—will we see you at Tibby's?" Mush put his arm around Ringlets' shoulders and shrugged._

"_Maybe, but ya know, da doctah's in kind of a nice paht a town, maybe we'll go out fa lunch dere" Ringlets giggled happily at the idea of a fancy lunch, and Lefty kissed her cheek and gave her hand a squeeze._

"_See you later loves" Ringlets said to Anthony and Lefty as she and Mush walked away towards the center of town. Anthony took his mothers hand and they started off again towards the Lodging House. _

"_Mama, why does Auntie Ringlets have ta go ta da doctah's?" he asked, squinting up at Lefty. She smiled and skipped a bit._

"_Anthony, what do ya think about babies?" she asked. _

"_Dey're nice" Anthony replied. Lefty laughed._

"_Well in a little while dere might be a new baby at Uncle Mush's house" Anthony looked at her, eyes wide. _

"_Oh, an dats why dere goin ta da doctah; ta buy da baby?" Lefty laughed as they reached the steps of the Lodging House.  
"Yes darling, in a way" she bent down to kiss Anthony's cheek when the door to the Girls' Lodging House opened and an angry-looking Taylor stepped out. Anthony, who was always a bit wary of Taylor, hit behind his mother's skirt. _

"_How long have you been outside? You should wait until da afternoon ta take Anthony for a walk or he'll catch a cold" she was in a very cross, maternal mood. _

"_Taylah, why don't we just switch lives?" Lefty asked calmly as she and Anthony came up the front steps and inside, "you can marry Race---" Taylor squirmed, "and look afta Anthony every second of da day, an I'll stay heah wid Jack---" she squirmed again----"an take care da goils?" Taylor pushed Lefty all the way inside by her shoulders and closed the door behind them, muttering to herself about colds and sensibility. _

"_What's goin on today Taylah?" Lefty asked as she unbuttoned Anthony's coat. Taylor immediately brushed Lefty's small hands away from the buttons. _

"_He can't stay heah Lefty—one a da new goils is sick, so you'll have ta send him across da street ta play wid Snipes or someone"_

_Taylor quickly rebuttoned Anthony's coat while Lefty sighed loudly. Once the little boy was across the street Taylor ushered Lefty upstairs and down the hallway, explaining about the sick new girl. She was another immigrant, fresh off the boat with supposedly dead parents and nowhere to go. She didn't speak English. Taylor usually had Ringlets comfort the new or sick girls, but since she wasn't available Taylor had to get the next best thing: Lefty. _

_As they walked past the bunkroom a flash of red caught Lefty's eye. She walked through the door and looked over to an unfamiliar bunk in which was Cray, curled up snuggly, sleeping like a baby. _

"_Cray!" Lefty exclaimed, pulling out of Taylor's grasp and walking towards the bed. She hadn't seen much of Cray for weeks, and looking at her now made her realize how much she missed her. _

"_Shhhhh" Taylor hissed, grabbing Lefty's arm and pulling her away from the bunk, "she hasn't been in here for weeks, and I want her to sleep" Lefty looked at Taylor curiously. It wasn't like her to let one of her girls sleep the day away, especially one like Cray, who spent most of her time these day's in Brooklyn doing God-knows-what with Spot. Maybe it was because Cray and Asia were the only older girls who still called the Lodging House their home, and Taylor wanted to hold on to them as long as possible. Or maybe, Lefty thought, Taylor knew something about what Cray had been up too, and was letting her recover. _

"_Taylor," Lefty said slowly as they walked out of the bunkroom and down the hall, "Cray hasn't…spoken to you about anything, has she?" Taylor shrugged indifferently. _

"_You know Cray, she never says anything sincere to me. I'm only the person who gave her a place to live, something to eat, modest clothes to wear…." Off Taylor went on one of her sermons as Lefty formulated a plan to stay in or around the Girls' Lodging House until Cray woke up. _

"_Here we are" Taylor stopped in front of the door to the 'sick room': a small, comfortable room where the girls who had a fever or a cough were relocated to. Taylor went through hoops to make sure an epidemic didn't spread through the newsgirls. She liked her girls strong and healthy, and if that meant a few days of quarantine for one of them, so be it. _

_Taylor opened the door and she and Lefty stepped in. in the small bed lay a girl no older than seven, with long black hair and white skin, glistening with sweat. _

"_She started runnin a fevah last night. Probably a mixture of da cold and being on dat stuffy boat fa so long." She turned to Lefty and said sweetly, "I think she would like a pretty face to talk to her." Lefty smiled weakly. This meant that Taylor was too busy or too uncomfortable to comfort a sick, foreign girl. Lefty suspected it was a mixture of both. _

"_Alright Taylah, but---" she was about to insist that Taylor buy her lunch, but she was cut off. _

"_Good. I'll leave you to it den." Taylor shut the door to the sick room, leaving Lefty alone with the girl, who was breathing laboriously. Lefty smiled at her and pulled a chair up to the side of the bed so she could sit next to her. _

"_Heya sweetheart" Lefty said softly. The girl looked up at her with large, fearful eyes. _

"_How a ya feelin?" Lefty tried again. She put a hand to the girl cheek. It was burning. _

"_Jesus Christ" Lefty whispered, "does Taylah know ya dis sick?" she asked herself as she stood up and looked for some water. There was a basin and pitcher on a little table by the window. _

"_So, what country are you from?" Lefty asked as she poured some fresh water into the basin, "it is cold dere? When did you get heah?" she squeezed some excess water out of a small cloth and placed it gently on the girl's forehead. _

"_What do ya think of New Yawk? It's probably very different from what ya used to, but I think it's a pretty good town" she knew the girl didn't understand a word of what she was saying, but Lefty felt that if she were cooped up in a room all day, she would want as much company as possible. _

"_It's a little dark in heah, don't ya think?" she stood up and blew out the three small candles that must have been burning all night, and pulled back the curtain a bit._

"_Dere. No ya can see da city. Ya can't see much of it from heah, but can see da park. When ya bettah, we'll take ya dere." _

_Lefty stayed with the girl for what she estimated was a good two hours. As she kept her company, she found she pitied her immensely, not because she was in a new country with people she didn't know and couldn't talk to, but because she had to be shut away from the world in a cramped little room. Lefty racked her memory for the times when she was sick as a child and had to spend a few days and nights in the sick room. She couldn't remember anything but lonely days and restless nights. _

_The girl's fever stayed consistently high, and she went through phases of shivering and sweating. Eventually she drifted off to sleep, and Lefty kept talking to her in whispers until she began to feel tired herself. She left the room and shut the door softly behind her, and as she walked down the hall she stopped by the bunkroom where Cray still slept. She planted a kiss on her forehead and tucked the blanket up around her shoulders. As she did, she noticed a purplish bruise on her right arm. Lefty sighed and decided to come back to the Lodging House that afternoon to try an coax a few words from her old friend. _

"_How did it go?" Taylor asked as Lefty came downstairs. Lefty tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. _

"_She's asleep" Taylor nodded. _

"_Ya know, I think she might be really sick Taylah, she felt so warm---" _

"_It's because she's been so cold fa so long. Dat boat must have been freezing, and her shoes were so beat up when she came heah dat she must have been walkin around outside fa days." Lefty looked skeptical. _

"_Da same think happened to you when you foist came heah. It's da shock of being cold and den coming into a warm building. It just takes a while fa da body to adjust, dat's all" Taylor gave Lefty a little hug. _

"_Thank you fa talking to her. Did she talk at all?" Lefty shook her head. _

"_When she's well again she'll probably start talking" she supposed. _

"_I'm sure. Run along and get Anthony from da Boys' Lodging House---I'll see you at lunch" Taylor said, and fetched Lefty's coat. _


	39. Chapter XXXIX

"_An den he put his clothes back on, an asked me if I'd watch his kids for him while he went out for a drink!" Asia exclaimed, finishing her story. The whole table burst out laughing, including Anthony, who didn't know what was going on but laughed when everyone else did. Asia was telling stories about the men she had dated, much to everyone's amusement, including even, Blink. The two of them had been together for such a remarkably long time that Blink had learned to live with Asia's promiscuous past. He had transcended with her into a state of impervious happiness, that new, strange, happy place in a relationship where you are so comfortable with the other person that all of the walls of propriety or pretending come down. Asia let her guard down around him. She knew she didn't have to sex it up for him; he thought she was the sexiest thing alive anyways, and she knew that pouting her lips and batting her eyelashes wouldn't add or detract from him affection for her. Once she had blown her nose in front of him, something all girls know is not attractive to men. But Blink just laughed and told her she was cute. Cute. Asia had never been called cute before in her life. But she wasn't about to argue with him. _

_The laughs died down and Tibby's settled back into its normal lunchtime routine. Jack and Race were in conversation, both smoking. Anthony had gone over to play marbles with Boots. Taylor was talking non-stop to Lefty, who was purposely slurping her chicken soup to agitate the older girl. Asia and Blink were holding hands under the table: they were the new Ringlets and Mush, who had, months before, taken Lefty and Race's title as 'most annoyingly happy couple'. _

_About a half and hour later, when Jack had put out his first cigarette and Race was enjoying his second, the door tinkled open and in walked Mush and Ringlets. _

"_Dearest!" Taylor said in a rare moment of affection, jumping up from the table to embrace Ringlets, "Tell me! Tell me da news!" _

_It was Lefty who noticed the somber look on Ringlets face, and Blink who noticed the matching one on Mush's. The couple slowly sat down in the chairs that had been drawn up for them the moment the entered the restaurant. They didn't say anything, just looked down at the stained tablecloth. _

"_Do you want anything? A drink?" Lefty offered._

"_A smoke?" Race put in, receiving a cold glance from his wife. The entire table was silent for a moment, before Ringlets looked up. It was clear that she had been crying, and her brown eyes were red-rimmed. _

"_We….we….can't have….we can't have….children" her voice said, trembling terribly. "I'm not going to be able to have babies."_

_Everyone looked at her in amazement. Here was Ringlets, who had spent her entire life dreaming about having and caring for her own babies. How many times had she told Lefty during her pregnancy that giving birth was a small, insignificant price to pay for the joys of motherhood? How many times had she held Anthony in her arms, dreaming of the day when she would do the same with her own child? It just didn't fit. Ringlets, who wanted to have children more than anyone, couldn't. _

'_It isn't fair, it isn't fair' Lefty kept thinking as she stared at Ringlets' round, smiling face. 'You would have been the best mother, better than me, better than anyone'. Lefty thought. Ringlets was always so good, so selfless. She deserved nothing less than to have what she wanted most: a baby. What would she do now? Lefty wondered. What would she center her life around?_

_Suddenly, Asia reached out her hand and took Ringlets', holding it tight. "You can adopt honey." She said, "dere are a million kids in dis city without mothers or fathers, an you two would be a dream come true fa dem. You're gonna be da best mother in da woild Ring! It doesn't matta who da kid is or weah dey came from, just as long as dey knows how goddamn lucky dey are ta have you as a mother." _

_Ringlets' eyes filled with tears, but she smiled. _

"_Really?" she looked around at everyone. _

"_Really" Jack said. Everyone one else followed suit, and applause broke out among the table. Race stood up and raised his glass. _

"_To Ringlets, an all da pickpockets she's gonna sing ta sleep" _

"_To Ringlets!" the table echoed. Ringlets laughed and cried, Mush holding her close and looking at everyone gratefully. _


	40. Chapter XL

_In Little Italy, the air smelled so good it made you want to open your mouth and take a bite. It was of smells from the kitchens of the many restaurants: roasted red peppers, pasta sauce 'fra diablo', garlic and parmesan bread, frittata with prosciutto, and a million of things that Cray had never heard of. She felt suddenly hungry as she walked through the narrow streets, unaware that in every small flat there was a dark eyed, dark haired Italian mother or grandmother who would have gladly taken her in and fed her till she could eat no more. Normally when she walked through the city at night, Cray would have tightened her shawl around her shoulders, a physiological defense against dark and sinister characters. But here she felt no need. Even though it was late fall, the air felt warmer, that atmosphere friendlier. Golden light glowed from many windows. _

_Cray had gone to the Higgins's apartment first, but it was shut and dark. She vaguely remembered Taylor complaining about how Lefty didn't cook enough because she, Race and Anthony were always eating on a red and white checkered tablecloth across town. Now Cray cast glances through the windows of every bistro or 'ristorante' she passed. She walked past one of the large, stone Catholic churches, where warmly-wrapped old woman were sitting in pews, clicking their rosary beads. Her pace quickened. Churches made her nervous and uncomfortable. Come to think of it, recently everything made her nervous and uncomfortable. _

_Time had passed. She felt as if she had spent the past few years in a trance, watching everyone else's lives grow and develop. Time, she had thought, would provide her with new insight and opportunities. It certainly did for everyone else. One by one her closest friends slipped away from her. Where she used to sit and laugh she now stood from a distance. She felt tired and lifeless all the time. When the wind swept the city's dust into her face and eyes she didn't wipe it away. That was part of her now. Dirt, grime, soil. She felt buried in the city, unable to breathe, to even think. And she didn't know why. _

_Cray felt like there was a million things wrong in her life, but she couldn't voice any of them. Even in her own mind she didn't know how to put how she felt into words. She questioned everything in her life. Often she found herself sitting on a rooftop somewhere, smoking a cigarette, wondering what would happen if she just walked right off the edge. _

_She felt purposeless. She wondered if maybe coming to the Lodging House and becoming a newsie, all those years ago, was the wrong thing to do. Of course she felt liberated and happy in the beginning. For the first time in her life she had a family, people who genuinely cared about her, not how much money she made for them. But once Lefty and Ringlets and the others left the Lodging House, Cray felt a sense of homelessness. She never wanted what the other girls seemed to be obsessed with: finding the right guy, getting married, and settling down in a little apartment somewhere far away. Cray felt too young for that, too restless. She didn't want to belong to anyone, anywhere. She had always loved being wild and free. But now all that felt cold and stale to her. There was a hole inside of her, and it grew bigger as the days, months, and years had ticked on._

_Through it all there was Spot. Still king of Da Boids, still lord of the Barracks and docks, still leader of the Brooklyn newsies. Inside of him grew the same restlessness, the same self-doubt, though he was far to proud to show it. In the back of her mind Cray knew that was why they fought so much, had been fighting for so long. They were both unhappy and frustrated with themselves, with their inability to put a finger on what they wanted out of life. Neither of them was old, both in their very early twenties, but old enough to wonder whether it was time to shake of the carelessness of youth. _

_Spot was never a talker. He yelled. Threw this, broke that. That was how he vented; it was the only way he knew how. Get drunk, smash something, yell at the girl, then bed the girl. Forget it all in the morning. Cray was an essential part of that cycle, she had always been. She wasn't always the only girl in Spot's life, but remained the most prominent. They both strayed. Cray would find out that Spot had enjoyed a night with Jezebel in Coney Island, and would storm into the Barracks, red hair and green eyes blazing. Spot would hear that Cray had been seen in the balcony at Medda's getting a little too friendly with one of the new Bronx boys. He'd stalk into Tibby's, knock her out of her chair, and fight it out in a back ally. _

_While Lefty and Race watched their little boy learn his letters and Taylor and Jack said their vows, Cray and Spot drifted through bars and beds, flirtation and fights. There was no more courtship, no more eyelash batting or cocky glances. They knew each other inside and out. Cray knew exactly what to say to get Spot raving mad, and he knew every cruel and demeaning comment to tear her down. He also knew how to make her skin burn with desire, and she knew how to make him forget every other girl he'd ever been with. _

_Once, after a whisky-driven fight and violent make-up sex, Spot had voiced the ultimate truth about their relationship:_

"_We're two of a kind, ya know day Cray? Dere ain't no one who knows you like I do. I've undastood you since da day I set eyes on ya, way back at da White Rose. Can you even rememba dat fah back Cray? An now look at us. Like fuckin' peas an carrots we are."_

_Cray didn't know how to respond to that. It had floated around in her brain for months now. Spot had been drunk when he said it, they both had been, yet to her there was way too much truth in it. She couldn't imagine not having Spot in her life, she had tried calling it quits; they both had on numerous occasions, but couldn't stay away for long. But Cray didn't want to commit the rest of her life to the endless cycle of drinks, sex, and fights (which had become increasing violent). There was so much missing from that, so much that Cray was afraid to ask for. In their own ways they had said that they loved each other, during brief moments of tenderness throughout the years, though the actual word had never been uttered. Cray didn't know if that was what she wanted from Spot. She wasn't sure if Spot was capable of giving real love, and she wasn't sure if she deserved it. She wasn't pure or good, sweet or honest. At one time she had thought of herself that way, as much as someone like herself could. She dreamed of true love once, as every girl does, but had long kissed that dream goodbye. _

_Now it had resurfaced, that silly thing called love. It felt foreign to Cray, like a language she could only speak a few words of. It had been a while since she talked to or spent any real time with her friends. But Cray was beginning to feel frightened of the city, of the rooftops, of being alone. She remembered her happier days, and longed for the comfort and warmth of those familiar, smiling faces. She had questions about love, and she knew there was no one better to talk to about that strange disease than the ones who were sick to death with it, Lefty and Race. _

_She found them in a little, crowded restaurant, snuggly seated with Anthony at a small, round table near a window. Cray was happy to come in from the cold of the streets to the warm, heavily scented air of the restaurant, where lit candles dripped wax all down the wine bottles that held them, illuminating the room. Cray approached the family slowly. Anthony was giggling, his smooth brown hair falling into his eyes. They were huge and round like his mother, and dark like his fathers. Cray felt her heart lurch with affection for the boy, and in her stomach she felt regret for not spending more afternoons with him. He saw her first. _

"_Auntie Cray!" Anthony cried, smiling and putting his arms out. His grin was huge and there was a little bit a pasta sauce on his cheek._

"_Heya kid" Cray said, leaning down to hold him close. _

"_Cray!" Race exclaimed, looking very surprised, "what are you doin' heah kid? How'd ya find us?" _

"_I followed da smell of garlic" Cray answered, playfully taking a stab at his nationality. Race smirked and ran a hand through his hair. _

"_Pull up a chair my deah" he said casually. Before she did, Cray looked down at Lefty. _

"_Heya Cray" she said in her silvery, serene voice. Her little face glowed in the candlelight; her crystal blue eyes were as piercing as ever. Intimidation shot through Cray; Lefty could always see through her, through anybody. Thoughts came rushing into Cray's head. She hadn't really seen Lefty in a long time—God knew hen they had last really talked. There was so much between them, so much love and care. All at once Cray wanted to put her head in Lefty's lap, to cry and tell her she was sorry for not talking, for keeping to herself, for being cold and inward. For blaming Lefty for leaving her, for getting a wonderful, perfect life while she had to live in unhappiness and uncertainty. Again Cray felt she could not put her thought into words. To say those things to Lefty was not what she came to Little Italy too do. That would happen sometime later, she thought, pushing those words out of her mind. _

"_How have ya been?" Lefty asked her, once Cray had sat down, "if we'd known you were coming we would have ordered extra food." _

"_I've already eaten" Cray lied. She's had a cigarette before leaving the Lodging House, and wasn't very hungry. A silence passed between the four of them. Cray took a deep breath. _

"_I came to talk to---" she began, looking at Lefty. No, she thought. Too big of a step. Too much could come out. Talking to Lefty was an event she wasn't yet ready for, even though Cray knew she would have all the answers. She bitterly hated to admit it, but Lefty was always ultimately right. She looked to Race's sincere, boyish face. He had always been like a brother to her, since the very beginning. Talk to Race, her heart said. He was familiar and would help her without making her feel guilty or intimidated. _

"_Race." Cray finished, her decision final. From the way he looked at her she knew he understood that she needed help, advice. _

"_Anthony," Race said, turning to his four year old, "you wouldn't be interested in any…gelato, would you?" Anthony's face lit up. _

"_Can I Papa? Can I have some chocolate gelato? Or slawberry---" _

"_Strawberry" Lefty corrected gently. _

"_---Strawberry" Anthony said rapidly, "or dat other kind Mama likes, or dat other kind you like, or dat other kind…" Race laughed. _

"_A'right kid. Go wid ya Mama ta Cardone's and get some" Anthony jumped out of his chair while Lefty stood up with her little patched purse. _

"_Cray, could you hand me dat little brown coat next to you?" Cray obliged, and gave it to her, watching Lefty put it on Anthony. It was a coat of fairly good quality, clearly new. It had shiny little button and sleeves that were a bit to long on the boy ,who had inherited his parents rather small stature. Still, the coat was nice, especially compared to Lefty's worn shawl. Quickly Cray glanced around to see if Race had a coat lying around anywhere. She didn't see one. Briefly she wondered if life wasn't so easy for the Higgins's after all. _

"_We'll be back" Lefty said, pulling her shawl around her shoulder. Anthony blew Cray a kiss and took his mothers hand as they walked out of the door. _

"_So Cray," Race began, leaning back in his chair and stretching, "to what do I owe dis honor?" Cray frowned and sighed, laying her head down on the table. She closed her eyes wearily. _

"_Aw, heya kid, whatssa mattah?" she heard Race ask. She felt his hand lightly upon her shoulder and she looked up. Where to begin? _

"_Race…" she began slowly, "what…how do…" Race sat back in his chair, letting Cray know that she could take as long as she wanted. Finally she managed to piece a few words together. _

"_Race…dis you always knew dat…dis" she gestured to the table, the restaurant, the empty chairs where Lefty and Anthony had sat, "…is what you wanted?" _

_From the endearing looks Race gave her as an answer, Cray knew he understood what was wrong. But he didn't overanalyze or judge her nervous words. His brown eyes dropped down and he fiddled with his watch. _

"_Ta be honest wid ya Cray, I nevah exactly knew what I wanted." Cray propped her head up on her hand with interest. _

"_I've nevah been one a dose people who knew exactly who dey were gonna be, or had big plans for how dey were gonna live. When I woke up in da morning I always knew what I wanted…ta eat, make money, play a liddle cahds, ya know" he looked up at her impishly. Race never played "a little cards". _

"_I guess growin up poor doesn't give ya many options, so ya don't really have too many hopes for da future." Cray bit her lip as Race looked up at her. _

"_But, you wanted to get married, didn't you? You certainly seem happy wid ya life now…" Race gave her a crooked grin._

"_Nah, I nevah thought have all dis" he now gestured to the chairs and restaurant, "I was nevah dat serious about goils…sure I went around wid Blink an Mush ta pahties an bars, ya know. I was, of course, always extremely charming an smooth---" Cray interrupted him with a genuine laugh "—but I nevah woke up da next day wid some goil's face in my head. I was more concerned about which horses were racing dat aftanoon." Cray remembered her original dilemma about love, and was now not afraid to ask about it. _

"_But didn't ya feel like dere was something missing from ya life? Didn't ya want more dan ta eat, sell, sleep, ovah an ovah again? Didn't ya want ta have---" _

"_Love?" Race asked, reading her mind, "I didn't know what da hell love was, until it walked up an slapped me in da face." He looked across the table to Lefty's chair, as if she was still sitting in it. "Dat's when motivation kicks in. When something like dat happens, dat's when ya staht thinking down da road, or at least across da street ta weah ya know she's sleeping." Cray looked at Race longingly. _

"_What's it like Race? How da ya know?" she saw a very faint, boyish blush creep into his cheeks. _

"_Ah Cray," he began, gazing into the air, "you'll know when it hits ya. Everything ya evah hoid or thought is true. It really is like being sick. I wanted ta scream an yell an run an jump an cry all at da same time. Everything else flies out da window." There was a long pause. The candle on the table was burning low. _

"_She was all I could think about." Race said calmly, slowly, "her hair, her hands, her face, her eyes…I nevah forgot a second we spent together, or a thing she said ta me. I wanted to keep every word, every glance locked up in a box dat I could take wid me everywhere I went. She just had to walk by me an I was lost to her" the blush in his cheeks rose and he spoke more quietly. "her hands…her little hands…da way she would reach out an touch my arm to get my attention…I'd look up at her, an she'd just be lookin at me, ya know? Just lookin. Her eyes went right through my heart. Ya nevah really get used t a her eyes, do ya? So big…so blue an cleah. She could look at me from across da room an I'd shivah." Cray leaned closer to him. _

"…_Nothing could save me if she kissed me. I'd died an gone ta heaven, finished. I wanted to hold so close, so tight, because I was always afraid she'd slip away. I didn't know what I had done ta get so lucky, but all I knew was dat I was gonna do what evah I could ta make her feel da same way. Dat was my plan. Dat was what I wanted ta do wid my life. Ta hold on ta her, ta nevah let anything pull her away from me." _

_A long silence passed before Race turned to Cray, eyes a little misty. _

"_What was it ya wanted ta know, kid?" Cray smiled and let out a little laugh, her throat tight. After a while she took a deep breath. _

"_How da hell do I get dat Race? I…I dunno if I can evah feel dat way about Spot, an I certainly don't think he'll evah feel dat way about anyone." Race suppressed a laugh. _

"_Cray…I think you know Spot more personally dan anyone evah has. More dan Jackie, more dan da Brooklyn boys, an certainly more dan any othah goils Spot's been wid. What do ya think is da strongest feeling you two have for each othah?" Cray had to stop and think. At first she though of anger, then passion, and finally-_

"_Pride." She said definitively. "He's got me an I've got him, an we're proud of dat." She didn't think he would understand. Spot always prided himself on having the best of everything, and to him Cray was the sexiest, fieriest girl he had ever seen. She had always supposed he prided himself on being the one to nail her down, literally and figuratively. And she too felt proud of herself for being the one girl Spot had had any sort of long term relationship. When the other newsies had commented on how Cray might be the one for Spot, because she managed to steal and hold his attention the longest, she had always felt a certain amount of pride. _

"_You must feel da same way Race" Cray said, "ya married to Lefty, who everyone thinks is da most gorgeous thing in dis half a da universe. Ya must feel pretty good about yaself." Race laughed._

"_I wish you'd a been dere when we foist started going out. People would stare at us wid dere mouths open. Mush couldn't believe it. Blink wouldn't talk ta me for a month" Cray silently knew why, "Everyone thought da woild was turned upside down, eitha dat or Lefty had just gone crazy. I thought dey were right for a liddle while. Guy's would say 'Higgins, you are da luckiest fuckin guy in da city'" Race recalled, laughing, "You must feel so proud ta be da guy who got Lefty." _

"_Aren't you?" Cray asked. _

"_I…don't really know." Race admitted, "I think dat to be proud of myself I would have to feel like I'd won her, or controlled her. But it was nevah like dat. I nevah fought for her, I nevah persuaded her ta be wid me. I nevah controlled her or owned her. I think dat sometimes pride can mean ownership. I nevah wanted to own Lefty…we just sort of… came together. It always made sense to us. I nevah feel or felt superior or inferior to her. I guess what I'm trying to say Cray is dat…dere has to be a balance. I don't know how to describe it, but when you have it, you'll know." _

"_Oh" Cray responded. _

"_Cray?" Race's voice said. _

"_Hm?" _

"_Do you…do you want to love Spot?" he asked. She frowned down at the table. She knew that deep down she wanted what Race had described, that she wanted Spot to feel that way about her. _

"_I want Spot to love me." She said finally, in a slow, pained voice. Race ran a hand through his dark hair. _

"_I don't think you can make anyone love you, Cray. An I don't think you can make yourself love."_

"_Then---"_

"_It'll be alright Cray. It will. You've find what you're looking for, whatever it is. And when you do you won't need me or anyone else. You'll be happy Cray, I know you will." Race's words shook through her. That was what she was missing. Not love, not that intensely complex thing that Race spoke about. He didn't only have love. He had happiness. Simple, pure happiness. Cray knew that was what she needed. She didn't know how or where to get it, but she knew she had to find it somewhere. She looked at Race and smiled. _

"_You'll be alright kid." He said. She let out a cross between a sob and a laugh, and he smirked at her. Just then Anthony came running up to the table, a red stain around his mouth. _

"_Ah," Race exclaimed, standing up and pulling Anthony into his arms, "I see you went wid da strawberry." Anthony smacked his lips. _

"_Mmmhmm. Mama had a liddle too" he said, pointing to Lefty, who had just come in behind him. Cray gazed at her lips, finding them a darker shade than usual. Race let Anthony down and he gave Cray a hug. _

"_Will you come play wid me tomorrow, Auntie Cray?" he asked. Cray smiled and crouched down to be eye level with him. _

"_Yes Anthony, tomorrow, and da next day, and every day after dat." Anthony giggled and Cray knew Race was smiling at her. She stood up and looked at Lefty, who said nothing. For a moment Lefty looked as though she might cry, because the look Cray gave was one of regret, of apology for lost time and cold words. Lefty put her arms around her old friend, her closest sister, and held her tight for a long time. Cray kissed Lefty's cheek and Lefty kissed her back, squeezing her hand. _

"_C'mon Cray, we'll walk you home" Race said, but Cray shook her head. _

"_I like it here. I think I'll walk around a bit." Racetrack nodded and gave her an affectionate pat on the cheek, before slipping his hand into Lefty's, and walking out the door. _


	41. Chapter XLI

_By the time the Higgins's reached their street Anthony had fallen asleep in Race's arms. With one arm Race held Anthony to him, the little boy's dark head resting on his father's shoulder. His other arm was around Lefty his finger gently massaging her waist. She had not asked what he and Cray had talked about, and felt she didn't need to know. If Cray wanted to she would talk to her the next day. Slowly they walked up the steps. Lefty unlocked the door to the flat and Race transferred Anthony to her arms. She carried her son to his room, put him in his nightclothes, and lit the small lamp by the bed. Race had disappeared into another room. As she lifted Anthony into bed his brown eyes opened sleepily. _

"_Mama" he said, reaching his arms out for her. She tucked him under the blankets kissed his forehead, smoothing his hair lovingly. _

"_Goodnight darling" Lefty said softly, before standing up and walking towards the door. She left the room and closed the door behind her, and looked into the kitchen, where she could vaguely she Race sitting in a chair._

"_C'mere" she heard him say. She smiled and happily obeyed, sauntering into the kitchen, her skirt swishing. Race looked like a tired little boy with his head resting on the table. He looked like the boy Lefty had just put to bed. Race gazed at Lefty, the familiar yet enticing feeling of sensuality washing over him. He had never talked about his and Lefty's relationship to anyone the way he'd just talked about it with Cray. He had been surprised at his ability to find words to describe what it was like to be with her. Most of the time he couldn't think of ways to tell her himself. _

_Looking at her now made him remember how he had first felt when they started going out. It was amazing, exhilarating, and intoxicating. He thought back to how Cray had asked if he felt proud of himself for being with her, for 'having' her, or if he felt unworthy of being with such a breathtaking girl. It had never been like that, Race remembered. From the moment he'd laid eyes on her it felt right. He never pretended to be someone else to impress her, to keep her interest. To be with her completed him; that was all he knew. _

"_Racetrack?" he heard her say. His eyes focused on her with intent. He stood up and took her by the waist, feeling the soft puckered fabric of her dress. He pulled her into him, and pressed his forehead against hers. He felt her hand on his neck, her fingers stroking his collarbone and the small hollow at the base of his throat. Her lips touched him there, and he closed his eyes with a sigh. _


	42. Chapter XLII

Hey everyone! I'm back! I hope you all didn't think I'd died, I've just been insanely busy with school and applying for college (do yourselves a favor and NEVER go to college...it's just not worth it. Go be a newsie instead). Anyways, I've managed to write more, and I'm almost to the end. Trust me, it's much more painful for me than for you. But let's not think about that now. So for all of you who haven't deserted me for being such a cruel, neglectful updater: read and enjoy. I love you all. Lefty.

_"You can come in Cray!" Cray heard Lefty say from behind the door of her flat. Cray hadn't even raised her hand to knock. She twisted the worn brass knob and walked into the warm house. Lefty looked up from where she was sitting at the kitchen table, chopping vegetables. She grinned and laughed as Cray began to peel off her many layers off outerwear. _

"_Jeez Cray, how long were ya outside for? I'm surprised ya don't have an icicle hangin off da end a ya nose". Cray smirked and moved across the room to the cast iron stove. A pot of rich smelling red soup was simmering on top. Cray held her frozen hands out to thaw. It had snowed through the night and had only stopped recently, so Cray had to shuffle through the wet streets to Lefty's street, and by now her old shoes were soaked through. _

"_Weah's Anthony?" Cray asked as she rubbed her hands together. She hoped Race hadn't taken him out—Anthony was the why Cray had come over to the Higgins' flat. She had hoped that playing with her little nephew would be a bit therapeutic and take her mid off of the million problems and worried that filled it. _

"_Tidying up his room" Lefty answered, nodding her head towards one of the closed doors across the room. The flat wasn't very large, but not closet-sized like some other's Cray had been in. The front door opened into the kitchen/living room, with a large wooden table and stove, all well as a few dish filled cabinets. These were filled with various plates and cups, bowels and spoons, all purchased at second-hand shops, with no distinct pattern or matching items. The living room had a few patched chairs and one small sofa, the floor covered with faded rugs pulled found years before in the attic of the Girls' Lodging House. The kitchen and living area walls were covered with a few framed pictures, but mostly messy drawings on loose pieces of paper. Cray didn't remember them from the last time she visited. _

"_Those are Anthony's" Lefty explained as she got up from the table to add some onions to the soup, "he loves to draw nowadays. He begs me an Race ta take him down ta da General Store on 3rd Street ta buy colored pencils. Do ya want anything ta drink Cray?" Cray paused in front of a red house on a hill with tons of giant yellow snowflakes. _

"_Yeah…tea would be nice." Just then a door to Cray's right opened and Anthony walked out. He had a little tin horse tucked under his arm. _

"_Clean, Mama" he said simply, before noticing Cray. He face broke into a smile and he held his arms out to her, dropping the horse on the rug. _

"_Auntie Cray! You came!" Cray laughed a scooped him up in her arms. _

"_A' course I did kid! Didn't I say I'd come?" _

"_Mmmhmm" Anthony nodded as Cray set him back down. _

"_Cray was admiring your drawings Anthony" Lefty said as she set a up of tea down on the table for Cray. _

"_Ya wanna see my favorite one?" Anthony asked her as his face lit up. She nodded and he took her by the hand, dragging her over to the opposite wall. _

"_That one" Anthony said, his little finger pointing up at a picture of blue scribbled and stick figures. _

"_That's wondahful!" Cray said, looking to Lefty for help. She smiled. _

"_That's a drawing of when we all went ta Coney Island dis summah," Lefty explained. Cray wandered over to the table and sat down. _

"_What? I didn't know ya did dat? Who went?" Cray felt her heart rate speed up. She had always hated being excluded from things, hated when something happened being her back. _

"_Oh all of us, me Race, Anthony, Jack, Blink, Taylor, Mush--" _

"_A'right I get da picture" Cray snapped. She imagined them all a hot, summer day, camped out on the beach at Coney Island with nothing more than a few blankets to sit one. The boys would be wrestling in the sand, the girls clustered together on the blanket, gossiping and squinting at the shoreline through the bright sun. Anthony would have wanted to play in the water the whole time, Cray was sure. Race, of course, would have taken him in, and the guys would have gone in too. They'd have taken turns placing the little kid up on their shoulders, tossing him backwards into the water with a splash. Lefty and Asia might even venture into the water, if it got really hot. Taylor and Ringlets would make the modest decision to stay on the beach. Cray felt herself smiling at the mental image. _

"_Cray," Lefty's voice entered her thoughts, "we would have invited you an Spot along, but you were nevah around. We missed you Cray, I missed---" _

"_Nevah mind Lefty" Cray said quickly as Anthony galloped his tin horse back and forth across the carpet. She did not want to hand Lefty the details of the past year or so of her life on a platter. It was a shaky story that she didn't know how to tell. Cray had been pondering her own situation and life for so long, and it had made her tired and depressed. It had been good to listen to Race talk about his life the night before, and Cray wondered what Lefty would say if she asked her the same questions Race had answered so eloquently. Cray blew on her tea and tried to remember what she had asked Race first._

"_Lefty…" she began slowly, "are you…" She paused. 'Are you happy' seemed like an idiotic question to ask. That would be like asking Asia if she liked the colour red. _

"_Am I…?" Lefty said with a bit of a laugh. Cray frowned with concentration. _

"_Lefty," she started again, "this is it, right?" Lefty looked at her curiously. _

"_I mean...dis," Cray gestured to the room, the flat, to Anthony playing on the floor, "dis is everything. Dis is what it's all about. Dis is everything you want, right?" Again she felt like the question was awkward and foolish. She waited for Lefty to look across the table at her with round, sincere eyes and say 'Of course Cray, what else is dere?'_

_But she didn't. Lefty's brow furrowed and she looked down at the table. Anthony's faint humming was the only sound to be heard._

"_Um," Lefty began, her voice very uncertain and child-like, "I…I don't know, Cray. I don't know." Cray felt a sudden surge of sympathy for Lefty. Her tone was that of a schoolgirl who had been asked a question she didn't know the answer to, and felt very nervous and sorry about telling the teacher the truth. _

"_Whatta ya mean ya don't know?" Cray asked, trying to be patient. Lefty had never not had a profound answer to one of her question. Lefty clasped her hands together and set them on the table. _

"_I don't know if dis is 'everything' Cray. I don't really know…anything. I haven't seen too many things, or been dat many places. Why are you asking me?" Cray was taken aback. _

"_But—but dis is so…perfect!" she protested shrilly, "you have everything Lefty, ya life is perfect!" Lefty shook her head. Cray felt her cheeks flush with anger and urgency. Lefty disagreeing with her about the flawlessness of her life was not something Cray anticipated. _

"_Everyone is jealous of you Lefty," Cray insisted, "Everyone wants to be you, ta have what you have" Lefty looked at her as if she didn't have the faintest idea of what she was talking about. _

"_Why do you say dat, Cray?" Lefty asked in a small voice. Cray tapped her feet and drummed her fingers on the table with exasperation.  
"Because it's true! You live in dis little…" she searched for the right word, "dis little world, weah everything is lovely an happy an…you have dis liddle life weah---"_

"_Exactly" Lefty interrupted, "dat's da only true thing you've said yet Cray. I have a liddle life." Cray shut her mouth. Lefty sighed. _

"_I have a very small life. I have a little corner of da woild weah I live an go about my business and am, for da most paht, happy. Dat's it. Nothing exciting Cray, nothing grand or worthy of much thought. I don't know why anyone would be jealous of me. I've nevah really been outside da city. I've nevah saved anyone's life or changed da woild in any way. I don't have a lot a money. I don't have a lot of dreams or inspirational words. I'm not a hero. Why should anyone give me a second thought?" _

_Cray forgot all about why she had come to see Lefty. What Lefty had just said to her was worthy of being front-page news. She imagined herself hawking the headline 'Lefty Higgins Confesses to Leading Imperfect Life!' Surely everyone would agree with her that Lefty lived in a sense of other-worldly bliss, that she had somehow tapped into the secret up complete transcendence. Cray's heart beat began to pick up speed. If Lefty wasn't happy with her life, then what hope was there for her? _

"_Lefty," Cray began. The girl across the table tilted her head in an endearing way. "you are…happy, aren't you?" Lefty looked at Anthony, and smiled strangely. _

"_I have unhappiness, Cray. Shhh-don't say anything yet" Cray had opened her mouth to object, but shut it meekly. _

"_I get angry. I cry, I scream, I bite my lips an pull my haih as much as anyone…maybe more. Sometimes I can't seem ta breathe. Sometimes I am happy and don't want to be. I have dreams dat I put away and lost for good. I nevah asked for what I have, it was all given to me. I nevah objected. I always said yes. I don't wish I'd said no, but dat doesn't mean I don't wonder what it would have been like if I had."_

_Cray looked down at her cup of tea, which looked slightly grey. She was sure it had turned ice cold. _

"_But…but Lefty…I have, I mean…you do love---"_

"_Race? I love Race, I nevah said I didn't and I never will. Yes I have Race. If I knew how to pray I would thank God dat I have him. Where would I be without him? Or without Anthony? I have no regrets Cray, I nevah will regret anything. I don't deserve Race, I nevah have, but he'll never realize that. He is nothing but loving and sweet ta me, and I would give my life to repay him for da happiness he gives me. Is dat what you came here for? It is, isn't it Cray? You want what you think I have, you want ta know how ta get da perfect life." _

_Cray kept her eyes downward. _

"_Your life will nevah be perfect Cray, no one's is. Forget whatevah Race told you last night. We are happy, we are in love, all dat is true. Love is da most terrible and beautiful thing in my life. It becomes da center of your life, da most powerful thing in it. When you have dat and you realize dat you can never lose it. You will live and die for it. You'll lie and cheat and kill for it. It controls you. Some people don't understand love, and dey are the lucky ones. For dem love is the cause of happiness, and when dey are unhappy they think love has deserted them. But dey're wrong. Love also causes dere anger, dere pain. It is cruel and hateful and forgiving and gentle all at once. Cray, if ya think you don't have love because your life isn't perfect, den you're ignorant. When your life is confusing and happy and simple and dark and hopeless, then you have love. When you don't understand what you feel, den you will have love. Do you want that? It doesn't matter if you do or don't, because once you have it, it'll never let you go." _

_Cray looked up. Lefty looked strange and pale. Her blue eyes were very wide and clear. She had the appearance of a child who had just given their mother a lengthy explanation of why she was late for dinner. Her gaze seemed hopeful, as if her one desire was for Cray to understand what she'd just said. _

_Cray sat silently for a moment. Then she pushed the teacup aside, stood up in her chair, and climbed onto the table. She sat in the center and looked down at Lefty, who was still sitting in her chair. After a moment she stood slightly, and slowly climbed up onto the table with Cray. Cray gently pulled Lefty to her chest, and let her rest there as a mother or older sister might do. Upon entering the house Cray had imagined the conversation would end with Lefty's wispy arms holding her placidly, but now it was the other way around. Cray felt Lefty's chest rise and fall against her own, her breathes slow and thin._

_Lefty didn't cry, because she was not angry or sad. She didn't know where her words had come from, but they were true and she was glad it was Cray who heard them. She body felt very heavy and sleepy, and she felt her eyelids drooping. _

_Just then Anthony, who had climbed up onto the table under the window, decided to open it and throw his tiny toy horse into the street. _

"_Anthony!" Cray exclaimed in amusement; she had forgotten he was in the room. "ya really shouldn't do stuff like dat…horses can't fly ya know" she let go of Lefty and slid off the table, walked over to the window and picked Anthony up off the smaller table. _

"_I'll get it" Lefty said from behind her, walking out the door quickly. _

"_What's your mama doin' out dere, huh Anthony?" Cray wondered aloud as she took his little hand, "she'll catch her death widout a coat" Anthony giggled._

"_Dat's what Auntie Taylor says to me…an Mama…an Papa, an Uncle Jack, and Uncle Mush, and Auntie---"Cray snickered. _

"_Ya tellin me kid" the door opened and Lefty appeared, the metal car in her hand. The other was resting against the door, which she leaned against. Cray looked up at her curiously, wondering why she wasn't coming in. _

"_Lefty?" _

_Lefty looked up at her slowly. Her face was colourless, her eyes dark. _

"_Cray…" she whispered, "I feel so funny" _

_With that Lefty let go of the door, and her entire body slipped down to the floor and crumpled into a neat little heap._

"_Christ" Cray said, staring. Anthony raced over to his mother, smiling as if she was playing a joke on him. _

"_Mama, mama" he said happily, crouching down to pat her arm, "get up now please." _

_Now Cray shrieked, frightened of the irony, frightened of her sudden inability to move. What should she do? 'Get Taylor, get Taylor!' her brain said, but her legs would not obey. She squeezed her eyes shut and bit her lip hard, making herself move slowly to where Lefty they. She knelt down and gently turned her over so she lay face her. Her eyes were closed. Cray put her hand on Lefty's chest, and found a very, very slow beat. She swallowed and turned to Anthony, who looked up at her as if he was in on a joke she didn't get. _

"_Anthony…Anthony, stay here wid ya Mama" she told him in a low voice. She felt sweat pouring down her face. "I'll be right back." _

_Cray walked out the door, forgetting her coat, tripping over her own feet. Then she ran. She sprinted the eight blocks between the Higgins' flat and the Girls' Lodging House. She felt on fire, angry and frustrated. She didn't pause to think why. Cray flung the door of the Lodging House open and grabbed hold of the first girl she saw._

"_Where's Taylah? Where is she???" she demanded. The girl looked up at her, frightened. _

"_I…I dunno…I tink she's at Tibby's---" Cray slapped the girl hard across the face and ran back out the door. The urge to scream and yell was overpowering her. _

'_Lefty better be fine' she thought, over and over 'Lefty had better be ok…Jesus Christ…she'd better be ok…" She practically kicked open the door into Tibby's, marched over to where Taylor was sitting with everyone, and hauled her up violently by the shoulders. _

"_Cray!" Taylor yelled, "what da hell---"_

"_Something's wrong wid Lefty" Cray explained as she dragged Taylor out into the street. The taller girl ran with Cray but gazed back to the restaurant. _

"_My coat…I'll catch my death of cold" _


	43. Chapter XLIII

_The scarf Lefty had tied around Race's neck that morning blew off as he ran. Cray was behind him, somewhere, and maybe she'd paused to pick it up. He never found out. _

_He flew through the streets, pushing his way through the midday crowds. To one tall, well dressed gentlemen Race looked like a young boy, maybe twelve, playing in the gray, early December air. Not in a million years would he have guessed that the short kid in the plain coat and blue cabbie had a wife and kid at home, waiting for his arrival. _

"_It's Lefty…" Cray's words still echoed in his head. He'd been copying the medical history of one of Sheepshead Races' finest horses when the redhead burst into the room, cheeks flushed. He had smirked in surprise at the sight of her. Race rarely got visitors at work, and was lonely and bored a lot of the time. _

"_Race…it's Lefty…I think she's sick" _

"_What?" he'd asked, bolting out of his uncomfortable wooden chair. _

"_She…fell" Cray said, eyes a little unfocused, "She kind of…slipped away…" he was out the door and into the cold before Cray could blink. _

"_Slipped away…" Cray's voice said over and over again as he ran. His own floated in. _

"_What the hell…what the hell…what the HELL does that mean?" Race yelled in his mind as he shoved some woman out of his way. For some horrible reason when he turned onto his street there seemed to be thousands of people between him and the apartment building. _

"_GET DA FUCK OUTTA MY WAY!!" Race yelled at the top of his lungs. An older woman who was walking in front of him, Mrs. Preston in fact, who lived three floors above the Higgins's looked at him in shock. Never would she have expected such language and anger from the grinning young man who lived on the first floor. _

_Race flew up the front steps of his building, fishing out his key and jamming it in the lock. He ran to the door of his flat, which was slightly ajar. _

"_Lefty?!" he yelled as he lunged into the kitchen. _

"_Papa!" cried Anthony, who had been sitting cheerfully on the floor, playing wit his tin horse. Race didn't hear him. He yelled for his wife again and walked into the bedroom. There was Taylor, bending over the bed where Lefty lay. Race had pushed Taylor aside in a second and sat down on the bed, taking Lefty's face into his hands. Her skin was white as paper, and hot to the touch. _

"_Lefty? Lefty, what is it dahling?" he asked in a soft gentle voice, so different than the one that had just yelled over the crowds. Her eyes made him jump. They weren't their usual crystal blue, but almost completely black. Race turned to Taylor with a purely chilled look. _

"_Her eyes—what's wrong wid dem Taylah?" he asked in a little, boyish voice. _

"_Her pupils have dilated" Taylor said gently. She wasn't sure how if she wanted to be in the same room, or house, or city with Race right now. _

"_Lefty" he turned his attention back to her, "can she see me?" he asked Taylor vaguely. _

"_Yes, she's conscious" Race smoothed her hair back from her face. _

"_Lefty…hey doll, what happened? What's wrong?" Lefty focused her great, dark eyes on him. _

"_Racetrack?" she said hoarsely. He nodded and took her hand, pressing it against his face. It burned him. _

"_I'm right heah, I'm right heah dahling" he cooed. Lefty smiled weakly. _

"_Race…I think I might be sick" she admitted. He shook his head. _

"_Only a liddle Lefty, you'll be ok. You'll be fine." _

_Taylor felt her stomach lurch as he said it. Her throat tensed up and she fought back tears. _

_Race pressed his lips against Lefty's forehead, finding a wet cloth placed over her skin. He rubbed her arm, and noticed that she was only wearing a thin, summery nightdress. She was shivering. He noticed that the window was open. _

"_Jesus Taylah, why da hell is da window open? Ya want her ta get moah sick?" he asked, springing up to shut it. "An why is she wearing dat thing…she's sick, we have ta keep her warm." _

"_I think she's warm enough, Race" Taylor said, "if I put any more clothes on her she'll beg us to take them off." Race hung his head. _

"_She's so hot…her face is so hot, even her arms…her chest…" Race stroked Lefty's collarbone with a finger. Taylor put a strong hand on his shoulder. _

"_She has a very high fever Race…I'm not sure how high; I wanted ta wait until you came befoah I called for a doctah" Race looked up. _

"_Why does she need a doctah? She'll be fine, just a few days rest, right?" That's was always the diagnosis when ever anyone got sick. Stay in bed with a wool blanket and some soup. In a few days you'll be right as rain. That's what Kloppman always said…_

"_I don't think so Race" Taylor said, sinking down into the chair she'd pulled up next to the bed. _

"_Whatta ya mean?" Race asked her, brown eyes seeing through her. Taylor felt her eyes beginning to sting with tears. Race's heart pounded; no one ever saw Taylor cry. It was widely believed that she had never shed a tear in her life. _

"_Race…" her breath caught in her chest. "Race…a few weeks ago a little goil at da Lodging House got real sick. She had a fevah, a really horrible, horrible one. It's called Scarlet Fever" Race shrugged. _

"_I've hoid a dat. Only kids get it" he said dismissively. Taylor shook her head. _

"_No, not just kids Race." She said darkly. Race looked down at Lefty, who closed her eyes. _

"_Lefty, she—I asked---" Taylor stumbled over her words, "I asked Lefty to sit with her for a while, to keep her company. Usually Ringlets does it…but she was out and I asked Lefty." Race looked up at her with his mouth open. _

"_Do ya…do ya think---"_

"_I wanna wait ta heah what da doctah has ta say" Taylor said. Race nodded. _

"_Yeah, yeah dat sounds good. We'll get a doctah. Den she'll be fine." Taylor frowned and watched Race take off his hat and coat. His off white shirt was faded and worn. His dark blue, patterned vest looked so familiar to her. How many years had he had it? The gold watch chain hung from a pocket. _

_Race stroked Lefty's cheek, trying to make her smile. Taylor began to put on her coat and headed towards the door. _

"_Taylah?" Race's voice called as she reached for the doorknob. She turned and looked at him over her shoulder. _

"_How long did it take fa da goil ta get bettah?" Taylor put her hand over her mouth. _

"_She…she didn't" she chocked out the words, "she died in a week." _


	44. Chapter XLIV

_Hours passed, and it was dark and snowing when the door to the bedroom opened again. Race had been telling Lefty about all the things he'd done at work that day, every mundane detail, just because she'd said 'Talk ta me'. _

_She wasn't delirious at all. He watched her brow furrow a bit as she listened to his words. When she breathed heavily and hotly he put cool, wet clothes on her skin from the basin on the bedtable. When her teeth chattered he put two blankets over her little body. The shifting was constant because the fever was so high. She didn't complain. _

_A tall, middle-aged man with side burns marched in, a foreboding black leather bag in his hand. Race glanced through the open door to the kitchen where he saw Ringlets and Anthony playing. He had forgotten all about his son. He hadn't left the bedroom since he came home. _

"_Dr. Weitz" the man said, putting his hand out. Race stood up from the bed and shook it, disliking the doctors business like approach. Taylor took Race gently by the shoulders and pulled him away with her to lean against the wall. _

"_You must be tired" she whispered as the doctor took of his coat and opened his bag. Race shook his head. _

_For the next hour they watched as Dr. Weitz took Lefty's temperature over and over, listened to her heartbeat with his metal stethoscope, pocked and prodded her skin, and held a candle close to her huge black eyes. A bit of wax dropped onto her cheek and Lefty, Race and Taylor winced together. Finally the doctor drew a long needle out of the bag. Race drew a sharp breath as the doctor held Lefty's arm out and pierced her white skin. She let out a moan and within a moment lost consciousness. Dr. Weitz stopped drawing blood immediately. _

"_Miss Taylor" he said, turning to her, "the patient is a mother, is that correct?" Taylor nodded. _

"_How long ago did she give birth?" _

"_Um--"_

"_Four years and seven months" Race interrupted quickly. The doctor ignored him and looked at Taylor. _

"_Did she have trouble? How long was she in labour? Did she loose a lot of blood?" Taylor fiddled with her shawl._

"_Well…it wasn't easy, I suppose, but havin a baby never is, is it?" she said. Race liked the tone she was giving the doctor. "Lefty's so small ya know, so narrow. Not really made fa havin kids, but Anthony was a healthy baby" Taylor explained. _

"_How much blood?" the doctor asked again, sternly. Taylor frowned. _

"_A lot. We had to change the sheets four times." Race shut his eyes as she spoke. "Mrs. Jacobs—a friend of hours who delivered the baby----said it was the most she'd ever seen." The doctor nodded. _

"_I can't let any more blood then" he concluded, wrapping the needle in tissue paper. "Without enough blood her immune system doesn't stand a chance against something like this." He said. _

"_Something like what?" Race asked. _

"_Just Scarlet Fever. Classic case." Dr. Weitz said. "Her temperature is through the roof, yet she doesn't sweat. Her skin burns and yet she shivers. The diluted pupils, the pallor—it's the Fever." Race buried his face in his hands. Taylor approached the doctor. _

"_What…what chance does she…will she get better?" she asked timidly. Dr. Weitz shook his head. _

"_It isn't very common in adults. Normally I would say that an adult's body could fight it off, but she," he said, gesturing towards the bed, "might as well be a child, and with all that blood loss---" _

"_Dat you just added to" Race spoke up, walking over. "Ya just took away moah a her blood. How is she gonna get bettah if you take away her defense?" the doctor frowned. _

"_Standard procedure" he said briskly. "To be honest I don't know what her chances are. I'll come back every few days to see how she is…but stay with her. If the fever breaks, she'll be out of danger. If you see her start to sweat, or if her eyes begin to return to their normal colour, you'll be in the clear. But if the fever lasts for more than a week, I wouldn't put to much hope in her." _

_Race let out a defeated breath. Just that morning he and Lefty had laughed over breakfast, had tickled Anthony. Just last night they had made love in the bed Lefty now lay in alone, feverish and possibly dying. _

_Race heard the doctor say something about money, to which he responded 'later'. 'Later' was always his response when it came to giving people money. Taylor and Dr. Weitz left the room, talking to each other, and shut the door. Race sat down on the side of the bed. _

"_Heya Lefty" he said, voice worn. She smiled up at him as if the last hour had not happened. _

"_Tell me a story Race" she asked sweetly, reaching a limp hand up to trace his face. Race noticed the sleeve pulled back on her other arm, a red mark visible where the needle had pricked her. The doctor hadn't bothered to put anything on it. _

"_A'right, I'll tell you a story about…" Race thought as he tied an extra rag around her injured arm. He tried to think of something comforting that would take her away from the bleakness and coldness of everything. Race wracked his brain for something that would make her feel safe and warm. _

"_I'll tell you a story about Napoli, in Italy, where I was born" Lefty closed her eyes and he conjured up images of warm, sunny days and rolling landscapes. Most of it was fabricated, drawn from little things he remembered of his old village, his mother and father. She felt asleep halfway through his tale, and he kissed her lips. He went into the kitchen and told Ringlets she could go, telling her Lefty would be fine, don't worry. He picked up his little boy and carried him to bed, before Race dragged his heavy body onto bed beside Lefty. He pulled her small, burning body into his, and tried not to do the thing he hadn't done since he was five: cry. _


	45. Chapter XLV

_Cray put her cigarette out on the outer wall of a brick factory. It was her last one, and she wished bitterly she had another pack in her coat pocket. It would keep her warm and calm her shaking nerves. _

_An open truck filled with wreaths passed her. Christmas was coming in a few days, and New York was covered in a quaint blanket of snow. Small little flakes fell lightly from the gray sky, melting in Cray's red hair. Everywhere there was colour and festivity, except in the newsies Lodging Houses across the city. Word had traveled fast that Lefty was ill. Everyday a few newsies or newsgirls from other parts of town showed up at the Manhattan Lodging Houses, bringing their sympathy and hopes for the best. Sometimes they would ask if they could see Mrs. Higgins, or at least visit Race and the little boy. Head were always shaken. 'No, I don't think so. We'll send word if anything happens.'_

_It was brought home to Cray what a close-knit group the New York City newsies were. It was a rare occasion when kids from the Bronx, Harlem, Queens, East Side, and Midtown could forget their differences and territory wars and stand outside the Higgins's flat, shivering, waiting for someone to appear and deliver their get-well message. _

_Jack, Taylor, Blink, Asia, Mush, Ringlets, Cray, and the doctor were the only ones allowed into the house. They would come and go daily, Jack, Mush and Blink trying to cheer and reassure Race, Asia and Ringlets wanting to sit by Lefty and take care of her. But no one was allowed in the bedroom, except for Race, Taylor and the doctor. Anthony was not brought into the room, even when Lefty begged to see him. One of his aunts or uncles would take him out for the day or play with him in the kitchen, attempting to hide the truth. _

"_Why can't Mama come out?" he asked Ringlets one morning. Her brow furrowed and she tried to smile._

"_Oh, she's just a little tired and needs to spend some time in bed." She told him sweetly. Anthony was allowed to poke his head into the bedroom every night and blow his mother a kiss goodnight. Lefty would try to focus on him with her fuzzy eyes, and smile. Race would put him to bed and tell him, as convincingly as he could, not to worry. _

_Today Cray walked through the snow for her daily visit to the apartment. She wasn't in on the details of Lefty's health, but she knew she'd been sick for over a week, and her skin got hotter by the day. Asia had told her that morning over coffee that Taylor said she couldn't sleep anymore; the fever was too high. Cray disliked the doctor immensely. He was impersonal and didn't talk to anyone but Taylor. Normally Cray would have expected Taylor to feel important and in-charge about it, but she saw the look in the older girl's eyes when Dr. Weitz approached her with his latest medical update. _

"_Not good," he always began, "not good at all." _

_Cray didn't know what to think as she climbed the front stairs of the building. She never knew what to say anymore. Miscellaneous bits of nothing popped into her brain. She should ask Ringlets to patch her mittens. When was the last time she cut her hair? She opened the door with a sigh. _

_Everyone was there. Mush and Blink were sitting at the kitchen table with Asia, half-drunken cups of coffee in their hands. Ringlets sat in the rocking chair, bouncing Anthony on her knee. Jack was standing up against the dish cabinet, arms crossed, talking to---_

"_Spot" Cray heard herself say. Everyone in the room looked at her silently. _

"_Heya Cray" Spot said in a dark voice. Cray walked over and pulled up an extra chair next to Ringlets. She leaned over and kissed Anthony's cheeks. His little face smiled up at her. _

_She hadn't been the one to tell Spot Lefty was sick. Some Boid had probably twittered in his ear. He was probably the first newsie outside of Manhattan to know. Cray wondered how he felt about it all. He liked Lefty, he had always liked her. He was kind and affectionate to her, like one might be to a sister. They had known each other longer than Cray had known Spot. Cray wondered how Spot would feel, how he would react, if the tables were turned. If she, instead of Lefty, was lying in bed, pale and weak, fighting with an invisible enemy for her life. What would Spot do if she disappeared? What would anyone do? Would she be missed, or just temporarily mourned and then forgotten? Everyone stared at the closed door in front of them. They heard muffled voices coming from behind it. Cray would made out the doctor's wealthy voice, Taylor's concerned one, and every once in a while, Race's weary and saddened tone. Blink had said Race hadn't left the flat since Lefty took sick. He said he only ate in effort to make Lefty do so. Her appetite was gone. She didn't have the energy to chew or swallow. Taylor said the fever had dehydrated her, making her mouth dry and lips parched. All Lefty ever pleaded for was water, which she barely had the strength to drink. _

_After a few more hours the door opened. Cray felt Spot's hand on her shoulder. The doctor walked out, looking dismal. Taylor followed, her hand massaging her temples._

_Anthony didn't like Dr. Weitz. He crawled off the chair where he had been sitting next to Jack and into Cray's lap. She held him tight. _

"_Not good" the doctor said, "not good at all." _

"_The fever couldn't have gotten worse" Asia said definitely, "it couldn't have gotten any higher."_

"_It has" the older man said. "She's delirious now. Her reality comes and goes. Sometimes she can see and understand what's going on; at other times she is dreaming with her eyes open. She doesn't know where she is. You could call her name and she wouldn't hear you." _

_Spot's grip tightened on Cray's shoulder. Blink put his head in his hands. The doctor didn't say anything for a long while._

"_I don't think she has much time left. She may not make Christmas." _

"_God…" Jack murmured. _

"_The child will have to go" Dr. Weitz said, tilting his head towards where Anthony was sitting on Cray's lap, "he's been exposed to the fever for too long already." _

"_He can stay with us" Ringlets offered quickly, smiling at Anthony, "How'd you like dat? How'd you like ta stay wid Auntie Ringlets and Uncle Mush for a while?" Anthony did not nod eagerly as he usually did. The words 'a while' did not bode well with him. _

"_I'll go get some of his clothes together." Cray said, her voice low, "I know weah dey are." She stood up and Anthony slid off her lap, standing alone on the floor while everyone stared down at him. _

"_He should leave as soon as possible" the doctor told Taylor, who nodded, not taking her eyes off the wide-eyed boy. 'He doesn't understand what's happening' she told herself, 'He is too young to understand this. He'll go away with Ringlets and be happy. He never has to know what is really going on. He won't realize the truth. He won't. He won't.'_

_But as Cray came back into the kitchen with a little bag of clothes Anthony stood up straight and looked at her. Cray jumped. The child was looking at her with Lefty's piercing glance, that condemning glance that froze you all over and made you feel as though you'd done something horribly wrong. _

"_Anthony," Cray said slowly, "Anthony--" _

"_Mama" Anthony whispered. _

"_What?" Jack's voice said. _

"_Mama" Anthony said again, softly. Ringlets looked at Cray and then at Taylor, before standing up quickly and picking up her purse. _

"_C'mon sweetheart, let's go" Ringlets said, stretching out her hand so Anthony could take it. But the dark-haired boy didn't look at her. _

"_Mama" he said, much louder this time, before running to the bedroom door and twisting the handle. It was locked. _

"_Mama!" Anthony yelled as he began pounding on the wooden door with his fists. _

"_Mama! Mama, Mama!" he pounded and pounded, kicking the door and twisting the handle again and again. _

"_Mama!" Anthony's childish voice yelled over and over. Jack looked at the doctor tensely, who looked at the girls, expecting them to do something. Taylor was staring at the floor, biting her fingers. Cray made a move towards Anthony, but stopped as his pounds grew harder and his yells louder. Ringlets couldn't bring herself to take the little boy away from the door. _

"_Sweetie, sweetheart, it's gonna be ok, it's gonna be ok--" Ringlets said timidly, trying to be heard over Anthony's shouts, "Come on love, let's go, we're gonna go now--" _

"_Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama!" Anthony cried, throwing his small body against the door and twisting the handle with both hands. The old lock finally gave way and the door burst open. Lefty's head turned towards the door as she heard it open. Anthony stopped yelling for a moment and stared at his mother, before crying out 'Mama!' once more. He ran to where she lay weakly in the bed, the bed he had crawled into so many nights, seeking the comfort and protection of his parents. _

"_Mama!" Anthony sobbed, tears flowing from his brown eyes, "Mama, what's wrong? Why—why are you heah in bed?" _

"_Oh my darling" Lefty said faintly, wiping the tears off her son's face. He crawled into the bed next to her and she kissed his cheeks over and over again, lifting up her warm, limp hand to brush the smooth hair face from his face. _

"_My darling, my love" Lefty breathed as Anthony buried his weeping face into her nightdress. Race stood up from his chair on the other side of the bed and put his arms around the two of them, holding his family together tightly. He could hear the yelling doctor's voice only faintly, but looked up when he heard footsteps entering the room. The doctor was yelling, waving his arms for Anthony to be taken out of the room. Behind was the reluctant Ringlets, tears welling in her eyes. Beyond her, out in the kitchen, Taylor was crying into Jack's chest, and Cray was observing the whole seem with a terrible look of remorse and regret. _

_The doctor pushed Ringlets towards the bed, shouting commands at her. As Race saw her reaching for Anthony, he let go of his wife and son and started to walk around the bed to stop her. He didn't know why but he instead of pulling Ringlets out of the room he went for the doctor, adding his voice to the yells and shouts as he tried to push the tall man out of the bedroom. _

_Lefty began to cry as Ringlets approached. Though she cried, the fever would not release any tears from her eyes. She wailed as she felt Anthony's young little arms tighten their hold around her. She held onto his waist, whispering loving words into his ear. _

"_My darling, my love, I'll love you, I'll always love you, I'll never leave you" she murmured. Anthony picked his head up off her shoulder and looked at her through his tears. _

"_Mama, I don't wanna go. I don't wanna leave you—Mama!" he screamed as Ringlets grabbed him around he waist and pulled him off of Lefty. He kicked and screamed and cried as he was carried away from the bed. Lefty whispered her son's name and the stretched out their hands for each other. _

"_Mama! Mama" Anthony shrieked again and again, reaching his arms out for her as Ringlets carried him farther and farther away. Race let go of Doctor Weitz and went to the bed, holding the shaking, sobbing Lefty in his arms. He did not cry as he watched Ringlets carry his son away. He felt Lefty's body go limp with exhaustion. Her head fell down on the pillow as she watched Anthony being carried out the door. _

"_Anthony, Anthony," she whispered, "I love you, I love you." She closed her eyes as Ringlets and Anthony left the room and the house, followed by Jack, Cray, and Taylor, who had her hands over her ears. Race lay his head down on the pillow next to Lefty and kissed her damp hair. The both stared at the empty doorway, feeling desperately alone, despite the fact that they were so close together. Dr. Weitz look down at the two small, young people. For the first time he felt pity. It was moments like these when he questioned his faith and his God. How could God allow such tragic things to happen to such young, happy people? How could this benefit anyone? _

_Lefty stopped crying and lay still and silent after a while. Race did not return to his chair by the bed, but stayed along side her, pulling the sheets up over them both, not bothering to take off his shoes. He fell asleep first, his arms around his wife's small, burning body. Lefty did not move but lay staring at the open, empty doorway, wondering if she would ever see her darling little son again. _


	46. Chapter XLVI

_On Christmas Eve there was no moon. The sky was black and the stars were bitter, bright specks shedding little light on the world. _

_In New York City the snow was falling at a soft, lovely pace. When little children opened their eyes in the morning it would be a truly white Christmas. _

_In the Higgins's flat no lamps were on, no gaslights lit. Ringlets had recalled going to a midnight service on Christmas Eve as a child, where everyone lit a candle. Every candle was a prayer. Ringlets said she'd never forget how beautiful it was to see the entire church illuminated by candles. So everyone had brought a candle or two, or ten, to the little flat. Asia, Taylor, Ringlets and Cray placed them all around the kitchen, and Jack, Blink, Mush and Spot lit them. The whole room glowed with a wonderful warm and light. But in their hearts there was little warmth or light. _

_In the bedroom only one candle burned, and it was burning low. Race sat in his chair next to the bed, holding Lefty's hot little hand in his. She hadn't said his name or acknowledged his presence since yesterday morning. She was dreaming with her eyes open, and Race wished he could see what she saw, no matter how horrible it was. He wanted so to save her, to rescue her, to fight away the evil heat that encased her body. He hated how dead and black her eyes were. He hated how her skin was as white as her nightdress. Maybe whiter. He hated the doctor, who had looked at Lefty that morning, lying in bed, moaning in pain, and said:_

"_Not good. You may want to say your goodbyes. I'll leave the check on the table, and you can mail it to me." Then he put on his tall hat and walked at the door, leaving Race empty and broken. If Taylor could see the circles under his eyes she would have fainted, but Race hadn't let anyone in the room all day. Now it was late at night, and Lefty's breathing had become slow and shallow. _

"_Lefty…Lefty…come on, come on" he whispered, squeezing her lifeless hand, "come back, you can do it, I know ya can…just come back." He had said her name hundreds of times, and she didn't hear. She twisted and shivered and looked directly at him, but couldn't see him. Race wanted to shake her, to drag her out of bed and into the fresh air, into the sunshine that he hadn't seen in almost two weeks. Did the world she was trapped in even have sunshine? Did she remember who she was, who he was? _

"_Rememba Lefty…remember da flat?" he had asked her that afternoon. She looked at him lifelessly. "Rememba da kitchen? Rememba da stove an da window? Rememba da coffee cups, dat little one wid da chip…dat one's ya favorite. Rememba when we got dat book fa Anthony from da library about trains, an he tore all his favorite pages out an hid dem unda his pillow" he reached for her other hand and held it tight. _

"_Rememba befoah we were married, an I took ya for ice cream at da pier, an some guy bumped into me an made me spill mine on ya blouse? You were so mad, mostly because I was laughing…ya made me trade shirt wid you, at da Lodging House, so everyone would know I was da clumsy, messy one…" her breathes became more wheezy and less frequent. _

* * *

_Spot was sitting at the kitchen table between Jack and Cray. He had been sitting there for almost two days straight, and was going mad. The air was stale and stuffy. His eyes were drooping, and he stared into space. He had been around death all his life. He had seen people die in the street, be beaten to death, stabbed, even shot. He had once seen a woman drown, when he was very young. But never in his life had he had the feeling of surrounding and consuming death that he had now. Despite the candles, it was like the whole apartment was enclosed in a black vacuum, in which no warmth or light could penetrate. He could feel Cray's body next to him. It seemed cold. Spot felt like everyone in the room, himself included, was having their lives sucked out of them. He couldn't take it. _

"_I'm…I'm gonna get some air" he said suddenly, standing up. Everyone looked at him in disbelief. No one could think of leaving at a time like this. Ringlets was the only one to have left. She was staying at her own apartment with Anthony, trying her hardest not to think about what was happening to her whole world, her whole faith. _

_Spot grabbed his hat and coat and left briskly. He stuffed his hands in his pockets to keep out the cold, and walked away from the building as fast as he could, without looking back. _

* * *

_Lefty's eyes began to droop. Her chest barely moved with the intake of breath. Panic seared through Race. His hands began to shake. Without taking his eyes off Lefty he opened the drawer of the bedside table and pulled out Teresa's rosary, the one she had given him when he left Little Italy all those years ago. He rubbed the beads between his fingers and sank to his knees next to the bed. _

"_Holy Mary, full of grace, blessed art thou among woman, and blessed is da fruit of thy womb, Jesus…Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death…Amen" he kissed Lefty's hand and said the prayer again and again._

"_Holy Mary, full of grace…Holy Mary, Mother of God…" Over and over he recited the verses until they lost all meaning to him. He watched Lefty's motionless figure in anguish, the words spilling rhythmically from his lips. _

_Then a different prayer came into his mind, this one in his own, native language. He couldn't remember where he'd heard it; it must have been many, many years ago, before he had come to America. He held Lefty's hand tightly, and squeezed his tired eyes shut. _

"_Ave Maria…madre Santa, sorreggi il pie del miser che t'implora, in sul cammin del rio dolor e fede, e speme gl'infondi in cor…"_

_(Saint Mary, holy mother, support the foot of your servant who implores you on the road of unrelenting grief, and fill his heart with faith and hope…)_

_Lefty's eyes began to close. Race felt her skin cease to burn. Her fingers were becoming ice cold. _

"_Maria!" Race cried, the words of the old prayers ripping through him desperately, passionately, "Nelle credeli ambascie d'un infinito pianto, non a'bbandonar!" _

_(Mary, do not abandon me to the cruel anguish of endless weeping!) _

_Lefty's eyes closed. Race screamed and dropped the rosary. _

"_Ave Maria, Pieta! in preda al duol, non mi lasciar, non mi lasciar!" _

_(Holy Mary, have pity! Do not leave me, have mercy, do not leave me!)_

_Lefty's hand dropped limply out of Race's. Race couldn't see anymore—his eyes were swimming with tears. _

"_Lefty! Lefty" he yelled, shaking her shoulders roughly. "Don't go! Don't leave me, please don't---" through his tears he thought he saw movement. He blinked and they fell onto his cheeks, clearing his vision. _


	47. Chapter XLVII

_They all heard the begging and screaming coming from the bedroom. Jack closed his eyes and put his head on the table. Asia and Blink held each other tight, crying. Mush stared into the air. Cray then heard Race's crying. She heard his loud, muffled sobs coming from behind the closed door, and knew a life had just been lost. She stood up out of her chair and ran out of the room and into the street, hair flying out behind her. She ran faster than she ever had before. Death itself couldn't have caught her. _

* * *

_Lefty opened her eyes. Race stopped yelling and looked down at her, holding his breath. She blinked and he saw blue. Her eyes were blue. _

* * *

"_Spot!" Cray yelled as she ran through the streets, "Spot!" _

_She found him under a lamppost, the falling snow illuminated all around him. His back was to her. _

"_Spot!" she called and ran up to him. He turned to face her. She looked up at him, and he stared down at her. _

"_I love you" they both said at the same time. They looked at each other in surprise. Then Spot put his hands on her face and kissed her. Cray felt herself melt, forgetting all the doubts, anger, and sadness that had consumed her life. Spot broke the kiss and smiled at her. She was free. _


	48. Chapter XLVIII

_Lefty gasped and opened her eyes wide. She felt like someone had been holding her head under water for a long time, and she had just broke the surface for air. She breathed in heavily, in and out, her chest heaving. She looked up and saw a familiar face looking down at her with big brown eyes. _

"_Racetrack?" _

_Race broke down. He pulled her close to him and felt her arms tighten around him. Tears poured from his eyes. His whole body was shaking with sobs. He bawled into her hair, rocking back and forth. He didn't think he was capable of crying so hard. His voice hurt and still he sobbed. He held Lefty's face in his hands and saw tears coming from her eyes. He saw beads of perspiration on her forehead. Her nightdress was becoming soaked with sweat. _

_He cried and cried and kissed her a thousand times. She leaned her head against his chest and breathed. It felt so good to breathe. She felt tears falling from her eyes and sweat running down her back. A delicious coolness was sweeping through her. _

_Race leaned in close to Lefty until their foreheads touched._

"_Don't evah scare me like dat again Lefty…don't evah leave me again."_

* * *

_Jack could here Race's wrenching cries from behind the door. They had been coming for a long time, and then abruptly stopped. No one in the kitchen was moving. Jack picked his head up and looked at his wife. Taylor was shaking her head. _

_Jack knew he had to go in. As frightened as he was of what he knew he'd see once he opened the door, he couldn't help himself. Race was one of his boys, his best boy. He'd been a Manhattan newsie since the beginning, before Jack was 'Cowboy', the king, the leader. They had been children together, street kids, hawking the headlines and getting in a million different kinds of trouble. Jack was always the tall one who'd use his prowess and presence, even at a young age, to get himself out of any situation. Race had his cleverness, his quick wit and sideshow smirk. Together they could beat any odds. _

_Jack had become the leader of the Manhattan newsies at fifteen. He was never too tough on his boys, always laughing and playing with them. He could be stern, though never harsh. But not with Race. If Jack berated Race for coming in late the kid would just laugh and pat him on the back. Jack could never be angry with Race. He was the only one who didn't switch to calling Jack 'Cowboy' when he became the leader. To Race, Jack had always been 'Jackie', and always would be. _

_And now Jack was hearing something he'd never heard from Race before: grief. He had seen him angry, frustrated, stubborn and depressed, but never in the anguish Jack knew he was in now. If Race stayed in that room for much longer Jack was afraid he'd be lost forever, and he wasn't about to loose two members of his family in one night. Jack stood up and started for the door. He opened it gently, bracing himself for the heartbreaking scene that he was surely beyond the threshold. _

_Jack couldn't believe his eyes. He hadn't slept for two days straight---was it possible he was dreaming? There was Lefty, upright in bed, her clear blue eyes open. A smile, a real, strong smile, was on her lips. _

"_Lefty?" he whispered, not daring to believe that what he saw was true. Lefty picked her head up off Race's shoulder and look up at him. She laughed. _

_Jack swung the door open so everyone in the kitchen could see what he saw. Mush let out a cry, Blink and Asia rushed in and were on the bed in a second, staring at Lefty as if she was a painting in a museum. Taylor, after kissing Lefty's cheek gently, wasted no time in fetching the glass thermometer and took Lefty's temperature, crying all through it. Taylor took it out of her mouth and looked at it with relief. _

"_It's broken…da fevah's broken…its ovah, its all ovah…" Taylor crawled onto the bed with everyone else and Lefty began to cry again. _

"_Look at dose teahs," Taylor said, remembering that Dr. Weitz had told her that if Lefty could cry it meant she wasn't dehydrated any more, and the fever was growing weaker, "dose are da most beautiful tears I evah saw." Blink put his hand on Lefty's shoulder, finding her skin cool and damp. _

"_Ya soaked Lefty…don'tchya ya know it ain't healthy ta go swimming in Decemba?" Lefty laughed through her shining tears and looked around at all of them. _

"_Weah's Cray? Weah's Ringlets, an--" she asked, then her eyes went very wide and she panicked, "Weah's Anthony, weah is he?" she looked at Race, "Weah's Anthony?"_

"_Ringlets!" Mush cried, "I have ta tell her…she's wid Anthony at home…." He was running out the door before Lefty took another breath. _


	49. Chapter XLVX

_Spot and Cray were covered in snow. They had forgotten how long they'd been standing there together, and a good half-inch of white powder had settled onto their shoulders. Suddenly Cray heard footsteps coming towards her from behind. She turned to see Mush sprinting through the empty streets, skidding and slipping on the icy ground. He flew past Cray and Spot without giving them any notice. _

"_Mush!" Spot yelled after him, "weah are ya going?" Mush turned back, and Cray thought he would say he was getting a priest to bless Lefty's lifeless form. _

"_I gotta get Anthony an Ringlets!" he called back to her, "Lefty's awake! She's alright!" he took off running again. _

_Cray and Spot looked at each other with a mixture of bewilderment and wonder. Cray let go of Spot's hand and turned to run back to the Lodging House. Snowflakes gently swirled around her in great flurries, as if all of them were fighting to attach themselves to her face, coat, and hair. As she ran out into the street, her mind was caught up in such a sense of elation that she did not see the milk cart wheeling towards her at an unstoppable pace. The last flash of sight she caught was of many lights, glowing all around her against the cold, dark air. _

* * *

_Spot would recount the happenings of that night thousands and thousands of times over during the rest of his life. Still, he could never manage to conjure a recollection of Cray actually get hit by the cart. In perfect clarity he would always remember her green eyes ecstatically ablaze as she smiled up at him, Mush's happy voice echoing through the street. The vividness of her bouncing red curls as she turned from him and ran into the street was permanently branded into his memory. In his ears he would always hear the violent, rushing wheels of the cart, the pounding of the horses' hoofs against the slushy road. But Spot could never remember the moment of impact. It was as though a gust of wintry wind and snow swept through his mind, preventing it from committing that one moment to memory. _

_Cray turned from him and began to run, her laughter flowing continuously, until suddenly it ceased to exist. The cart was gone, and the street was once again deserted. The snow was scarlet; the street was cold and dark. Bitter stars pierced the sky. _

_Spot had never realized how small Cray's body was. He held its broken form to his chest, aware of her life seeping warmly out of her body, leaking out of her and into his coat, then shirt, undershirt, and finally to his chest. His body was tense, he eyes squeezed shut into her hair. His throat was locked as if someone was choking him. He could not breathe or utter a sound. Tenderly, weakly he rocked her, his face buried in the crook of her neck, the place where lovers seek and find comfort. _

_Soon all his strength was gone, all power and stature and righteousness drained out of him, like her blood in the snow. Slowly, without releasing his arms from their encirclement around her body, he lowered both of them down into the snowy street. He lay with her on a cold quilt of dark red and pure white. He did not think or feel or cry or speak. He removed himself from all physical sensations, and slept safely there with her, under a blanket of snow. _


	50. Chapter L

_Mush ran into his flat. There was Ringlets, sitting in her rocking chair by the fire, singing in a soft, weepy tone to Anthony, who appeared to be sleeping. _

"_Ringlets, Ringlets" Mush whispered, barely able to contain his joy. He shook her shoulder gently, and she looked up at him with brown, watery eyes. _

"_Wh—what is it?" she sniffled. _

"_It's Lefty, it's Lefty---" Mush began, but Ringlet's face wrinkled with an oncoming sob. _

"_No! No, don't tell me, please---" _

"_Ringlets!" Mush yelled, causing Anthony to jerk and awake, "it's alright. She's alright, she's awake!" _

"_What?" Ringlets asked quietly, wiping her nose with her fraying sleeve. _

"_Da fevah broke honey, she's awake, everything's---" Ringlets stood up with such force that Mush stopped talking. She took Anthony, who was now wide awake, by the hand and marched towards the door. Mush ran behind. _

"_Let's cut through back James and Pete streets—da way I came took too long" Mush called after his wife and nephew. He wanted to get back to the Higgins's as fast as he possibly could, and he knew Ringlets and Anthony wanted to as well. _

* * *

_Lefty was profoundly tired as she lay back in Race's arms, only vaguely aware of the people around her. Her sudden burst of energy that came upon her when the fever broke had subsided, and now a feeling of secure tranquility was washing over her. Her vision was clear and her breathing steady, but her strongest desire was to close her eyes and surrender to sleep. She felt Race's fingertips lazily tracing hers, then moving up and down her arms as the others spoke to him. With her head against his chest she could feel the reverberations every time he spoke. She did not speak. Everyone seemed content to smile and kiss her, and she enjoyed not having to make an effort to talk back. She was too tired to think anyways. _

_The touch of Race's hands on her arms, shoulders, and neck made Lefty happier than she had been in a very long time. It brought back memories of when they first started to see each other, even before then, before anyone knew. Then everything was very exciting and subtle. Just a glance here and there, a smile, a nod. They would sit next to each other at Tibby's, and he would reach for her hand under the table. He would trace her fingers one by one, then her wrist, and all the way up her arm. It was thrilling and sensual and all of that was brought back to Lefty's mind as she lay between the sheets. _

_Minutes passed and Lefty felt the bed bounce as a small body jumped up onto it. There was Anthony, her dearest, her little darling. A fresh batch of tears poured from her eyes and she wrapped her arms around him, rocking him back and forth. 'Mama, mama' he cried over and over. _

_Lefty knew everyone else was cooing and sighing, and she heard their tones go from loud and laughing to hushed and reserved. She felt their hands on her, their lips on her hands and face. Race was talking to all of them, but he never got out of bed. Goodbyes were said, promises made to come back at the first light of morning. Lefty held Anthony's small, soft body in her arms, bestowing upon him motherly kisses and affectionate murmurings. _

_The candles were burning low, and Race turned to blow out the ones on the bedside table. In the near darkness he drew the heavier blankets around his wife and son. Lefty's body was cool and calm against his own, and he felt Anthony's little hand on his chest. For the first time in weeks Race shut his eyes willingly. He held his family close and slept gently; content to sleep forever, amid delicate limbs and soft, cotton sheets. _

* * *

_We Die._

_We die rich with lovers and triumphs, _

_tastes we have swallowed,_

_bodies we have entered and swum up like rivers. _

_Fears we have hidden in—all marked on our bodies. _

_We are the real countries. _

_Not boundaries drawn on maps _

_with the names of powerful men. _

_That is all we have wanted,_

_to walk in such a place together._

_With friends and an earth without maps. _


	51. Author's Note

_To my most beloved readers, _

_Firstly, you must know that the reason I have kept this story going is because of you. Its existence is owed to your constant interest and enthusiasm. You've put up with me through months of up-datelessness, and I apologize for being so infrequent with my updates. I am a reader to, so I should know better! In short, I am the luckiest writer on this site to have so many fantastic readers and reviewers. _

_This story is much older than you think. The concepts and ideas for it came about five years ago, when the Newsies-phenomenon first entered my life. Almost all the original characters are based off of real people, whose characteristics and personalities have been added to or built on in order to create the characters we know and love in this story. I draw my inspiration from books, film, and real life situations, as every writer does. If you are curious about any character, scene, theme, plot happenings, or just have a random question, please do not hesitate to e-mail me. I respond to all personal e-mail from my reviewers, and I would absolutely love to hear from you and will answer your questions as generously as I can. _

_Letting do of this story is very difficult for me to do, considering it has been a constant in my life for so many years. Hopefully you won't forget it, and will have taken something from it to keep and treasure, be it a character or message. I'll most likely be going through some serious separation anxiety from this story in the coming weeks, so I'll be jumping on any opportunity to write more about this story. _

_Again, I owe everything to you—you have my great admiration and sincere thanks,_

_Lefty Higgins_


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